Chapter 16 Like Summer Storms Came His Tears.
The rat put out a neat little paw, gripped Toad firmly by the neck and gave a great hoist and a pull.
The waterlogged Toad came up slowly but surely over the edge of the hole till at last he stood safe and sound in the hall of Rat's Underground Home.
"'Ew, Ratty!' he cried.
"'I've been through such times since I saw you last.
"'I can't think.
Oh, I am a smart toad.
"'No mistake.
Just hold on till I tell you.'
'Toad', said the water rat gravely, 'you go off upstairs at once and take off that old cotton rag.
'that looks as if it might have belonged to some washerwoman.
"'Clean yourself thoroughly and put on some of my clothes.'
I have never in my whole life seen a more shabby, disreputable object than you.
Toad very quickly and humbly went upstairs.
But the time he came down again, lunch was on the table, and Toad was very glad to see it.
While they ate, Toad told Rat all his adventures, dwelling mainly on his own cleverness.
But the more he talked and boasted, the more silent Rat became.
When, at last, Toad had talked himself to a standstill, Rat said Now Toadie, I don't want to give you pain after all you've been through, but don't you see what an awful fool you've been making of yourself?
Toad heaved a great sigh and said very nicely, Quite right, Ratty.
Yes, I've always been a stuck-up old fool, but now I'm going to be a good Toad. it any more.
The fact is, while I was hanging on to the edge of the hall, I suddenly realized I've had enough adventures for now.
We'll have our coffee, and then I'm going to stroll down to Toad Hall.
Stroll down to Toad Hall, cried Rat.
Do you mean to say you've heard nothing about the ferrets and stoats and weasels and how they've taken over Toad?
Toad leaned his elbows on the table, his chin on his paws.
A large tear welled up in each of his eyes, overflowed and splashed on the table.
Plop, plop.
Go on, Ratty, he murmured.
Tell me everything.
When you got into that trouble, it was a good deal talked about down here, continued the rat.
The wild wood animals went about saying you would never come back again.
Never, never.
Toad nodded, keeping silent.
But Mole and Badger, they stuck by you through thick and thin.
They said that you would come back again somehow.
They arranged to move their things into Toad Hall and have it all ready for you when you turned up.
But One dark night a band of weasels armed to the teeth crept silently up to the front entrance.
At the same time, a gang of desperate ferrets and stoats came around the back.
The Mole and the Badger were sitting by the fire, suspecting nothing, when those bloodthirsty villains broke down the doors and rushed in on them from every side.
They put up the best fight they could, but what was the use?
Wild wooders outnumbered them and turned them out into the cold and wet, and they have been living at Toad Hall ever since, telling everybody that they've come to stay for good.
Oh, have they? said Toad, getting up and grabbing a stick.
I'll soon see about that.
It's no good, Toad, called the rat after him.
You'd better come back and sit down.
You'll only get in trouble. but the toad was off and there was no holding him back.
He popped out of the hole and marched rapidly down the road, his stick over his shoulder.
He was fuming and muttering to himself till he got near his front gate when suddenly there popped up a long yellow ferret with a giant wooden club.
"'Who comes there?' said the ferret sharply.
Stuff and nonsense, said the toad very angrily.
What do you mean by talking like that to me?
The ferret never said a word, but brought his club up to over his head.
The toad ducked flat in the road, and whoosh, the swing of the club whistled over his head.
The startled toad scrambled to his feet and scampered off down the road.
As he ran, he heard the ferret laughing and other horrid thin little laughs joining in.
He went back and told the water rat.
"'What did I tell you?' said the rat.
"'They've got guards all around, and they're all armed.
We can do nothing until we have seen the mole and the badger.
Let's hear their latest news and take their advice in this difficult matter.'
Ah, yes, of course.
The mull and the badger, said Toad lightly.
What's become of them?
The dear fellows, I had forgotten all about them.
Well, may you ask, said the rat.
Those two poor, devoted animals have been camping out in the open outside Toad Hall in every sort of weather, keeping a constant eye on the ferrets and stoats and weasels and planning how to get your house back for you.
You don't deserve to have such true, loyal friends, Toad.
Someday, when it's too late, you'll be sorry you didn't value them more while you had them.
I'm an ungrateful beast, I know, sobbed Toad, shedding bitter tears.
Let me go out and find them, out into the cold and share their hardships.
Hold on a bit.
Surely I heard the clink of dishes on the tray.
Supper's here at last.
Come on, Ratty.
The rat remembered that poor Toad had been eating prison food, so he decided not to be angry over Toad's selfishness.
Rat followed Toad to the table.
They had just finished their meal when they heard a heavy knock on the door.
Toad was nervous, but the rat went straight to the door and opened it.
In walked Mr. Badger.
His shoes were covered in mud and he was looking very rough.
He came solemnly up to Toad, shook his paw and said, Welcome home, Toad.
Alas, what am I saying?
Home, indeed.
This is a poor homecoming.
Poor Toad.
Then he turned his back on him, sat down at the table and helped himself to a large slice of pie.
Soon there came another knock, lighter this time.
The rat went to the door and ushered in Mole very shabby and unwashed with bits of hay and straw sticking in his fur.
Hooray, here's old Toad, cried the mole, his face beaming.
We never dreamed you would turn up so soon.
Why, you must have managed to escape, you smart, clever, intelligent Toad.
The rat. pulled the mole by the elbow, but it was already too late.
Toad was puffing and swelling with pride already.
Well, well, said the mole, moving toward the supper table.
You talk while I eat.
I haven't had a bite since breakfast.
Oh, my, oh, my.
And he sat down and helped himself to cold beef and pickles.
Toad, do be quiet, please, said the rat.
Don't Egg him on, Mole, said the Rat.
You know what he's like.
But please tell us what the situation is at Toad Hall and what's to be done now that Toad is back at last.
The situation is about as bad as it can be, replied the Mole grumbly.
And as for what's to be done, I have no idea.
The Badger and I have been around and around the place by night and by day.
There are always animals on the lookout, and when they see us, "'My, how they do laugh!
That's what annoys me the most!'
"'It's a very difficult situation,' said the Rat.
"'But I see now what Toad really must do.
He must—' "'No, he must not!' shouted the Mole, with a mouth full of food.
"'Nothing of the sort.
What he must do—'
I won't do it anyway, cried the toad, getting excited.
It's my house we're talking about, and I know exactly what to do.
I'm going to.
They were all talking at once when a thin, dry voice made itself heard, saying Be quiet at once, all of you.
Instantly, everyone was silent.
It was the badger who, having finished his pie, had turned around in his chair and was looking at them very severely.
He got up from his seat and stood before the fireplace, thinking deeply.
At last he spoke.
Toad, he said sternly, you bad, troublesome little animal.
What do you think your father, my old friend, would have said if he had been here tonight and had known of all your goings on?
Toad, who was on the sofa by this time with his legs up rolled over on his face, shaking with shameful sobs.
There, there, went on the badger more kindly.
Never mind.
Stop crying.
We're going to put this behind us and try to turn over a new leaf.
But what Mole says is true.
The ferrets and stoats and weasels are surrounding Toad Hall and they make the best guards in the world.
Then it's all over, sobbed the toad into the sofa cushions.
Come, jury up, toady, said the badger.
Now, I'm going to tell you a great secret.
There is an underground passage that leads from the riverbank quite near here, right up into the middle of Toad Hall.
Oh, nonsense, badger, said Toad rather rudely.
I know every inch of Toad Hall, inside and out.
I do assure you.
My young friend said the badger severely.
Your father, who was a worthy animal, a lot worthier than some I know, was a close friend of mine and told me a great deal of things he wouldn't have dreamed of telling you.
I found out a thing or two lately, the badger continued.
There's going to be a big party at Toad Hall tomorrow night.
It's somebody's birthday the Chief Weasel's, I believe and all of the weasels will be gathered in the dining hall eating and drinking and carrying on.
No weapons of any sort whatsoever.
But the guards will be posted as usual, remarked the rat.
Exactly, said the badger.
That's my point.
The weasels will trust their excellent guards.
That's where the passage comes in.
It leads right up under the butler's pantry next to the dining hall.
Aha!
That squeaky board in the butler's pantry, said the toad.
We shall creep quietly out into the butler's pantry, cried the mole.
With our swords and sticks, shouted the rat.
And rest in upon them, said the badger.
"'and whack them and whack them and whack them,' cried the toad, "'running around the room, jumping all over the chairs.'
"'Very well, then,' said the badger.
"'Our plan is settled.
"'So, as it's getting very late, all of you go to bed at once.
"'We will make all the necessary preparations to-morrow.'
Toad slept till a late hour the next morning, and by the time he got down he found that the other animals had finished their breakfast sometime before.
The mole had slipped off somewhere by himself, and the badger sat in the armchair reading the paper.
When the toad had finished his breakfast, he picked up a stout stick and swung it wildly at imaginary animals.
I'll get them for stealing my house, he cried.
I'll get them.
I'll get them.
Soon the mole came tumbling into the room, looking very pleased with himself.
I've been bothering the stoats.
I hope you've been very careful, mole, said the rat anxiously.
I found that old washerwoman dress the toad came home in yesterday, hanging before the fire.
So I put it on, in the bonnet as well, and I went off to Toad Hole.
The guards were there, of course.
Good morning, gentlemen, I said.
Want any washing done today?
They looked at me very proud and said, Go away, washerwoman.
We don't do any washing on duty.
Or any other time, says I.
Some of the stoats turned quite pink and the sergeant in charge said Now run away, my good woman, run away.
Run away, I said.
It won't be me that'll be running away in a very short time.
Oh, Mole, how could you, said the rat, dismayed.
The badger put down his paper.
I said my daughter, she washes for Mr Badger continued the Mole.
Bloodthirsty badgers are going to attack Toad Hall this very night by the field, with six boatloads of rats coming down the river, while a body of toads known as the Death or Glory Toads will storm the orchard.
I told them there won't be much left of them by the time they're done.
Then I ran away and they were all as nervous and flustered as could be, running all ways at once and falling all over each other.
Oh, You silly mole, cried Toad.
You've spoiled everything.
No, Toad, said the badger in his dry, quiet way.
Mole has managed excellently.
Good mole.
Clever mole.
The toad was wild with jealousy, especially as he couldn't make out for the life of him why Mole was so clever for giving away their plans.
Fortunately for him, before he could show his temper, the bell rang for lunch.
