I've got a show to recommend that I genuinely think you and your kids are going to love.
It's called Lightcatchers, a brand new award-winning cinematic audio adventure from the team behind Batman, High Volume and Story Pirates.
If your house is into pinna favorites like Grim Grimmer, Grimmest or Hero Hotel, this is absolutely your next play.
Stick around for a preview at the end of this episode.
Then search Lightcatchers wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz.
I'm an author.
I'm also a storyteller.
I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales.
You may think you know grim fairy tales, and you may think that they are sweet and boring.
But listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions of the grim tales.
The original grim fairy tales aren't like that at all.
They're weird. and sometimes gross, and often scary.
In other words, they're grim.
And I'm about to walk into a classroom and tell one of the original grim, grim tales to a bunch of kids.
Do you want to join me?
Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale?
Let me help you decide.
On a scale of grim...
Grimmer and Grimmest.
This episode is grim.
Nothing too bad happens, but there might be some sudden scares, so get ready.
If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do.
You could turn down the volume and count to five.
Then turn the volume back up.
If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, just turn the volume down and count to five again.
You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for.
You know what you need.
Okay, I'm at the classroom door now.
There are kids inside waiting to hear a grim fairy tale.
So, are you coming in?
Grim.
Grimmer.
Grimmest.
I am so excited to tell you this story today.
It is called The Three Feathers.
And it is based on a story by the Brothers Grimm.
It's also inspired by an English folk story called Cap-O-Rushes.
And that story, interestingly, was inspired by a play by Shakespeare called King Lear.
Has anyone here read King Lear?
No.
I didn't know so.
I know Romeo and Juliet.
Romeo and Juliet, you know that one.
Okay, so King Lear is a different one.
Anyway, let's just tell the story, shall we?
Yes.
Everyone comfortable?
Yeah.
Everyone ready?
Should we do this?
Yes.
Let's do it.
Once upon a time, there was a king who had three sons.
The king was getting to the end of his life, And so he called his three sons to him and said Soon, I will die and one of you will inherit my kingdom.
But which one will it be?
Now, everyone had always assumed that the oldest son would become king after his father died, because he was the oldest.
He was also the most responsible.
He studied long hours with the king's advisors and accountants to be sure he understood how the kingdom worked.
He went out among the common folk and spoke to them and learned of their struggles and their dreams.
And he was always quiet and humble in everything he did.
Why is the oldest son the good one?
Generally, it's the youngest one.
Usually that's how it goes.
Very interesting.
When the two younger sons realized that they had a chance to be king instead of their older brother, they were very excited.
The king said you three boys will undergo a series of contests and whoever i deem the winner of those contests will inherit my kingdom when i die.
Are you ready?
The youngest son said yes, the middle son said yes and the oldest son said if you say so father, i do say so.
Why is the oldest son not as excited as the younger sons?
Do you think?
I think that he wasn't excited because he thought that he already was going to be king, but now he needed to compete.
Yeah, totally.
I totally agree.
The king announced, For the first test, you'll tell me how much you love me.
Does that sound like a nice test?
Would that, like, if your dad was like, tell me how much you love me.
Now the two youngest sons never spent much time with their father.
They were always going to parties at neighboring castles.
Pass the bubbly, will you, brother?
And taking long trips to foreign lands.
I never knew Tübingen was so lovely in the fall.
While the oldest son learned the ways of kingship patiently at his father's side.
So in years with good crops we take more of the people's grain as taxes so that We can save it and share it with the poor.
In years with bad crops,
Exactly.
But when the king demanded protestations of love, the youngest son ran to his father and clutched his hand and declared I love you more than life itself.
When you are gone, I will throw myself from the highest tower.
The king smiled and nodded and said, Very good.
The middle son ran to his father and clutched his other hand and declared I love you more than that.
The moment you die, I will die of heartbreak.
The king smiled and nodded and said, Also very good.
What do you think of this?
Like, I don't think he loves his dad that much because...
If he loved his dad that much, he wouldn't be going to parties himself.
And he wouldn't say I'm going to throw myself off a bridge, when he doesn't really love his dad so much.
He shouldn't be king.
The king smiled.
Wait, why do you say that?
You said he shouldn't be king.
Why?
If he dies and then you die, you're overreacting a bit.
He can't be king.
What are they even thinking?
They're both going to be like and dead for a very, very long time and there's basically no end to that.
So there is basically no end to being dead, exactly right.
The king looked expectantly at the oldest son.
The oldest son said father, if my younger brothers die when you die, how will they inherit the kingdom upon your death?
How can they be king?
They're dead, which is exactly what you all said.
Exactly what you said.
But the king said oh, don't be so logical, just tell me how much you love me.
The oldest son looked at his elderly father, who had taught him so much throughout his life and, even though he knew that the king was being foolish, now he also knew how much he loved him.
So he said i love you father, as much as meat loves salt.
The king squinted at his oldest son.
Say that again?
I love you as much as meat loves salt?
The king rose in fury.
Get out of my sight!
If you don't love me more than that, you shall live in the stables with the horses and the cows!
And the oldest son was banished from the castle.
Well, would they actually even love each other?
Because wouldn't it be eaten right after the salt gets put on the meat?
So maybe meat doesn't like salt because it makes it get eaten.
I think it's because it's like meat and salt actually taste good together.
Salt kind of makes it a little sweeter sometimes.
It definitely improves the flavor of the meat, right?
It connects to like the father and the son because they kind of connect when the father was teaching the son like king ways and stuff.
So, like, the father teaching the son makes the son better, just like salt makes meat better.
That's really interesting.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
I love that.
I think what he said, it should have been how lemons and ice make lemonade.
Yeah, okay, that's a better answer.
The oldest son spent the night sleeping in the stables with the horses and the cows, shivering from the cold and so hungry he considered eating some of the oats from the horse's trough.
But when the sun rose the next morning, a servant came and summoned him to appear before the king.
His brothers were already there and they laughed to see him wearing the same clothes as yesterday, smelling of animals with bits of hay hanging from his hair, while they had clothed themselves in their finest vestments.
You look like you slept in a barn!
Oh, wait!
You did!
You guys are hilarious.
The oldest son didn't even know why he had been summoned, but he soon found out.
The king arrived, kissed his youngest son and his middle son, scowled at his oldest son and then said The contest shall continue.
Hey, our oldest brother has already been banished from the castle.
He can't possibly win, objected the youngest son.
The king assured him.
He will not win, but the contests must go on.
I feel like he's going to, at one point, realize that the other kids don't really like him, and then they're going to realize that his son actually meant salt and meat go together and that he really loved him.
That's a really interesting prediction.
Let's find out.
The king led his three sons to the balcony and told them I want you each to find the richest and finest carpet and bring it to me.
You want a carpet, said the youngest son, and the middle son added don't you already have a lot of carpets?
It's a contest who can find the finest carpet?
The king held up three feathers and to be sure there is no quarreling, i will throw these three feathers to the wind and you must seek your carpet in the direction your feather flies.
The king held up the first feather.
This is for my youngest son.
And he tossed it into the wind.
It flew east for a long ways and disappeared from sight.
You shall go east.
The king held up the second feather.
This is for my middle son.
And he tossed it into the wind.
It flew west for a long ways and disappeared from sight.
You shall go west.
The king held up the third feather.
This is for my oldest son.
And he tossed it into the air.
A great gust of wind caught it and spun it around and it landed about ten yards from the gate of the castle.
Ah, you'll look around over there, I guess, said the king.
And the two younger brothers laughed.
As the brothers descended the castle stairs to begin their search, the oldest brother overheard the younger two whispering to one another.
The youngest brother said to the middle brother Look, our oldest brother isn't going to win, so let's just split the kingdom when our father dies, you and me.
That way, no matter who wins, we can't lose.
Smart.
I like it.
Deal?
Deal.
So, utterly confident in their victory, the youngest brother and the middle brother split up.
The youngest brother went east and soon came to a market where a man was selling carpets.
He said to the carpet seller, I'll take your finest carpet.
But when the man showed him the carpet and told him how much it cost, the youngest brother thought Why should I spend so much on a carpet when my brother and I will split the kingdom anyway?
So he said to the carpet seller, Got anything a little cheaper?
And he got a very average carpet and headed back to the castle.
Meanwhile the middle brother had gone west and he didn't find any markets or carpet sellers.
So he just walked into somebody's house and said I am the prince.
Give me your nicest carpet, or I'll have to have you hanged.
What does he mean to have somebody hanged?
Hanging is when you're on a big pole and there's a rope, and they pull the rope up and you choke to death.
Exactly right.
Put on your ending on like a board and the board falls down.
Yeah, and your neck breaks or you choke to death.
Yes, it's lovely.
Anyway, he said, give me your nicest carpet or I'll have to have you hanged.
Now, this house belonged to two very old sisters.
They didn't want to be hanged. and they were very excited to meet a prince.
Oh, hello there.
Maud, it's the prince.
Oh, hello, prince.
Bertha, he's so handsome.
Oh, don't I know it.
The two sisters offered the middle son their finest carpet.
But it had a very heavy sofa and coffee table standing on it and the middle son didn't feel like moving them and the old sisters couldn't help.
So he just grabbed the little rug by the door that people wiped their feet on and headed back to the castle.
As he walked away, the sisters shouted after him, batting their eyelashes.
Toodaloo!
Oh, I hate to see him go, but I love to watch him walk away.
You're looking in the wrong direction, Maude.
That's a tree.
Put on your glasses.
Meanwhile the oldest brother stood with his hands on his hips ten yards from the front gate of the castle, wondering how he was supposed to find a carpet here.
Maybe I can make a carpet of leaves.
It was autumn, and there were many beautiful leaves on the ground.
So he started to gather together leaves of many different colors golds and reds, and oranges and browns.
And then he noticed something very strange.
Under one pile of leaves, there seemed to be a trap door leading straight into the ground.
Why is there a trap door leading straight into the ground?
He had studied all the maps of the kingdom, and none of them showed this door.
What do you think you should do?
Avoid it.
I would be more adventurous and see what's in there.
Did you know that you can listen to Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest without any ads interrupting the story?
Just subscribe to Pinna.
Not only will you get to hear me tell these fairy tales straight through the way I tell them to kids, you get access to tons of other awesome original shows and audiobooks all ad-free.
Subscribe to Pinna at pinna.fm.
That's P-I-N-N-A dot F-M.
And use code GRIM, with two Ms, to get 30% off an annual subscription.
And remember it's not a Smurf.
Introducing a is for alfie, the first picture book from the award-winning pinna series quentin and alfie's abc adventures.
Alfie thinks his name is a little weird, but with his babysitter quentin, he discovers that every letter holds endless possibilities, from a is for acrobat to e is for electrician.
Written by award-winning author randy duberk and illustrated by derek brooks, This heartwarming, diverse read-aloud is perfect for kids 3 to 6, guiding them through letters while helping them love who they are.
Pick up A is for Alfie wherever books are sold and start your ABC adventure on the page.
The oldest son knocked on the trap door.
There was no answer.
He knocked again.
A horrible, cracking, croaking voice called.
Come in!
That didn't give the oldest son a lot of confidence.
But he wanted to find the finest carpet.
And this is where the feather had landed.
So he pulled up on the trap door.
Sorry.
There was a shriek of rusty hinges.
The oldest son nearly peed himself.
In fact, it looked like some of you also almost nearly peed yourselves.
But he didn't, and neither did you, so that's good.
He stared down a dark staircase that descended into the earth.
A smell of rot and decay wafted up from the darkness.
The oldest son shuddered and then he heard the voice again.
What are you waiting for?
The oldest son swallowed hard.
Would you go in?
No.
Some say yes.
We got a yes and we got another some no's.
I'd rather not go in because my life is because my life is worth way better than going in there.
Like, I'll be a little brave if I'm going to become a king.
All right, sometimes you've got to take a risk to become king.
He started down the stairs.
He heard a horrible, groaning sound.
It was the stairs groaning under his weight.
As the oldest son descended, It got colder and colder and smelled worse and worse like the breath of something dead.
He shivered.
The darkness began to change.
It turned to gloom.
Then the gloom gave way to gray.
Then the gray became a faintly glowing orange.
And the oldest son found himself standing in a dark cave lit by a small orange fire.
Something moved in the shadows.
Who are you?
The oldest son began to stammer.
I'm the prince.
He wondered what to say next.
He thought back to all the learning he had done in his years studying to be king, and he knew exactly what to say.
Any guesses?
I would say I'm your worst nightmare.
Oh, you're trying to scare them.
Well, I would bring a stick with me and say, I have a stick and I'm not afraid to use it.
And they would be terrified because it's a stick.
Yes.
Did you have something?
Can I have a carpet, please?
Oh, you think you should be polite.
Because, like, if you're royal, you kind of have to be polite.
Yes.
You know what?
You read my mind.
Because he said, thank you for inviting me into your home.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
May I ask your name, my friend?
The something in the shadows moved forward into the light and the oldest son had to stifle a scream.
It was the most hideous thing he had ever seen in his life.
It was huge and green, with spots of brown and black and giant black eyes and a mouth so wide it could easily swallow him in a single gulp.
And it was wearing an apron.
Yeah, it was wearing an apron.
Like for cooking, yeah, exactly.
It was, he realized, a giant toad lady.
She croaked hello, i'm glad you came to visit come come, get out of the cold doorway.
And she beckoned the oldest son to follow her deeper into the gloom.
Not wanting to be rude, the oldest son agreed.
As he followed her, the light grew brighter and soon they were in a small home lit by another brighter fire.
In a fireplace There was a sofa and a rug and a table and some chairs and a little kitchen.
Please come in.
Sit.
I just made some tea and a loaf of pumpkin bread.
Will you have some?
And the oldest son said, Um, sure.
So he and the toad lady sat down at the little table and drank tea and ate pumpkin bread.
After they'd settled in, the toad lady asked, So, What are you doing here?
The oldest son told her everything about his father and the tests and the feather that had led him to her.
She listened carefully, and then she said, Well, I have a very fine carpet here.
And she gestured at the rug beneath her feet.
And indeed, as the oldest son looked more closely, he realized it was one of the finest carpets he had ever seen.
It was woven with silver and gold thread and it seemed to tell the story of an evil sorcerer, though most of the story was hidden under the sofa.
I'll give it to you, but you have to do something for me first.
And her giant black eyes twinkled.
What do you think she's going to ask for?
Um, his kingdom, maybe?
His kingdom, good guess.
The toad lady said... I want you...
To marry me.
The oldest son gasped.
Then the toad lady winked at him.
I'm just kidding.
I just need you to fix my creaky door.
The oldest son exhaled and then laughed.
You want me to fix your creaky door?
Well, you heard how terribly it shrieks when someone opens it.
It's awful.
The oldest son had to admit that it did sound awful, but he said he'd have to go get an oil can to oil the hinges.
The toad lady replied, All right, go ahead.
I'll wait.
So the oldest son hurried up out of the toad lady's hole and ran to the blacksmith's shop, borrowed a can of oil and came back and oiled the hinges.
He called the toad lady to come and see.
He opened the door for her, and indeed the door barely whispered now when he opened and closed it.
The toad lady was very pleased.
So she and the oldest son moved the sofa out of the way and rolled up the rug together, and the oldest brother thanked her very much and took it back to the castle with him.
He arrived just when his brothers did.
The king instructed them to unfurl their carpets before him.
The youngest son went first and rolled out a very average looking carpet.
The king said, hmm.
The middle son rolled out his carpet, which was really more of a dormant.
The king said, hmm.
Finally, the oldest son rolled out his carpet and they all gasped.
I was going to ask you to do that.
It was incredible, shining with golden and silver threads.
And now that the oldest son looked at it a little more closely, he saw that it depicted the story of a beautiful maiden and an evil sorcerer.
But before the oldest son could see the end of the story, the king rolled the carpet up.
Who won?
Asked the oldest son, certain that it had to have been his magnificent carpet.
But the king just grunted, I'll tell you later.
Why did he grunt like that?
Because he didn't want, like, the oldest son to win.
Exactly.
But the oldest son totally did, right?
Yeah.
Then the king took out three more feathers and announced The next contest will be won by the son who finds me the most beautiful ring.
This is ridiculous, the middle son complained.
The youngest son agreed.
Why are you making us jump through all of these hoops?
You know what that means?
Jump through hoops?
Yeah.
Can somebody explain what that means?
Why are you making us jump through these hoops?
It's like when you have to face a lot of obstacles and do crazy stuff.
Exactly.
This is a ridiculous series of contests.
Since the king is like, The king of the kingdom, he has his own money.
Why can't he just buy a perfect fancy ring?
He's got like $120.
He's got like $120, exactly, maybe even more.
But the king retorted, Do you want the kingdom or not?
And he took his sons out to the balcony and threw the feathers to the wind, one by one.
The youngest son's feather went west, the middle son's feather went east and the oldest son's feather got caught by a gust of wind and spun around, and it landed right by the gate of the castle, not far from the trapdoor that had again been covered with leaves.
So the youngest son went west.
He soon saw the blacksmith's shop, where his older brother had borrowed the oil can from.
He went in and asked the blacksmith to make him a ring.
The blacksmith said, I don't make rings.
Go to a goldsmith.
I don't want to spend all that money on a golden ring.
Just make me something, snapped the youngest son.
So the blacksmith took an iron nail and heated it and hammered it into the shape of a ring, which the youngest son paid him a few pennies for.
Then he headed back to the castle.
The middle son went east.
He hadn't gone very far when he saw a young girl playing with her sister.
She was wearing a ring that flashed in the sunshine.
He bellowed, I am your prince.
Give me that ring.
The girl came over and handed it to him.
Is this made of silver?
No, it's a toy ring made of tin.
Eh, good enough, announced the middle son, and he went back to the castle.
The girl shouted after him, asking for her ring back.
Hey!
Give me back my ring!
But he ignored her.
And it's not even gold.
The prince wants something like gold from like a diamond store or something.
Yeah, exactly.
The oldest son went to the trap door and opened it.
It barely whispered.
Then he walked down the groaning steps and he told the toad lady of this new contest.
The toad lady looked at him slyly and croaked.
I have a beautiful ring indeed that no longer fits over my huge warty knuckles.
I'll give it to you if you marry me.
What?
Here we go.
I'm joking.
Then she winked.
Just kidding.
I need you to fix my stairs.
They groan whenever anyone walks on them.
The oldest son went and examined the stairs and realized that they needed new nails.
So he went to the blacksmith, returned the oil can, and asked for some nails.
The blacksmith said, Do you want me to make them into rings too?
What?
No, thank you, said the oldest son.
And he paid for the nails, borrowed a hammer, and went back and fixed the toad lady's stairs.
When he was finished, she presented him a beautiful golden ring inlaid with emeralds and rubies in an alternating pattern red-green, red-green red-green.
It was so delicate, the oldest son wondered how it had ever fit on the toad lady's hand.
Though he thought maybe he knew.
She probably didn't used to be a toad, since whenever there's a mix of an animal breed and a human breed, They probably weren't always that mixed.
Interesting theory.
So the three sons came before the king again, and each presented their rings.
The youngest son showed him the bent iron nail.
The king said, hmm.
The middle son showed him the tin ring he'd stolen from a child.
The king said, hmm.
And the oldest son showed him the toad lady's ring.
It was not large or gaudy, but it was as delicate and beautiful a ring as any of them had ever seen.
The king and the two younger sons all said, Whoa!
Who won?
The oldest son asked, certain that it had to have been his exquisite ring.
But the king merely grunted.
I'll tell you later.
The final contest, he announced, will be...
To find out next time.
Because we're out of time for today.
Whoa!
For the conclusion to The Three Feathers, tune into the next episode.
I think you're going to like it.
We're going to be totally silent.
Can you, for 30 seconds, be totally silent?
Three, two.
Are you laughing right now?
What is going on?
Far away on the high Caribbean seas roams a swashbuckling pigeon-loving, burrito-gobbling pirate who's well a bit different than the other pirates.
Introducing the new podcast, light catchers season one bob the bad pirate.
Bob the bad pirate wasn't bad because he liked to hurt people or call other pirates names like petunia pillow pants.
Bob the bad pirate was bad because he just wasn't very good at being a pirate.
Give her me tutors.
Listen now to Lightcatchers wherever you get your podcasts and learn more at BeALightcatchercom.
Light up the lanterns and follow me.
Patrick, let's go.
The clue is floating away in a hot air balloon.
I just need my detective's notebook.
Hey, sorry, this is kind of a bad time.
Claire and I just found a major clue and now it's airborne.
Long story.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know that the parents behind Law & Order have something brand new for families.
Our podcast, Patrick Picklebottom Everyday Mysteries.
It's full of wild mysteries, surprising clues, quirky characters and big adventures hiding in small places.
Claire and I are solving a new mystery every episode, and we'd love your help.
Seriously, we can't crack these cases without you.
Patrick, it's headed towards the water tower.
Gotta go.
Listen on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts.
And bring snacks.
Okay, I'm coming.
Hey, slow down.
Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Penna original production.
Created, written, and narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz.
Author of A Tale Dark and Grim.
Produced and edited by Kaylin West.
Associate producer, Rebecca Cunningham.
Field recording by Julia Martin.
Casting, voice direction, sound design, and mixing by Kaylin West.
Executive produced by Carly Migliore.
Production support by Devin Shepard.
Characters voiced by Jalen Askins, Jonathan Cruz Lee Joel Scott, Kevin Northman, Ann Scobie and Charlotte Wilson Langley.
Special thanks to all the kids in Staten Island and Brooklyn who joined us for our storytelling sessions.
You guys.
