We're all very excited you're gonna be joining us.
It'll be nice to have another MBA around here.
I'm excited too.
Okay.
Bye.
Who was that?
Nobody.
You and I are done.
What?!
!
People keep calling me a wonderkind.
I don't even know what that means.
I mean, I know what it means.
It means very successful for your age.
So I guess it makes sense, but it's a weird word.
Hey, Ryan.
Hold on one second.
Hey, Pam.
It's great to see you.
Is Michael in?
Hey!
Yeah.
There he is!
There he is!
He's back!
And he's with a beard.
He has facial hair.
Look at him.
All grown up and no place to go.
Okay.
Should we get started?
Oh, yeah.
Let's get started because, uh, yes, because this is a very serious business.
Yep.
Exactly.
This is a business meeting.
Fire!
Stop that!
Let me say something.
I know I used to be a temp here, but now everything is different.
I'd like your respect.
I am your boss now.
You're going to have to treat me the same way you treated Jan.
Dunder Mifflin Infinity represents a floor-to-ceiling streamlining of our business model.
The centerpiece of the campaign is a new business-to-business website interface that will allow us to compete directly with big box chains.
You should call it Dunder Mifflinfinity.
You know, push the words together.
Any other questions?
Kelly Kapoor.
Can we speak privately about our relationship?
Thank you, everybody.
Hi, Tim.
Hi.
Is Michael in?
In his office.
You can go right in.
Okay.
Hey.
Jan.
Ryan.
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
So, elephant in the room, I have your old job.
Well, not exactly my job.
I mean, I had a different title.
Oh, well, excuse me.
Same office, same responsibilities.
Different salary.
Don't worry.
Well, you look great.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Scranton suits you.
Best decision I ever made.
You were like, oh.
You know what?
Love the beard.
Keep it forever.
Hey.
Hey.
Yeah.
I created a website.
At the end of the day, Apple's Apple's flying at 30,000 feet.
This is a paper company.
And I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest.
I told you I don't want you doing these things in here.
You can use your own office or do it in the hall.
Convergence.
Viral marketing.
We're going gorilla.
We're taking it to the streets while keeping an eye on the street.
I don't want to reinvent the wheel here.
In other words, it is what it is.
Buying paper just became fun.
And now from my old hometown, Scranton, Pennsylvania, my former boss, Michael Scott.
Hey, I just think you should know that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer.
So take that ass .
Always a jokester.
How about that image?
Crystal clear.
Hey, guys.
What's happening?
How's my favorite branch doing?
OK, Michael, why don't you start us off?
That wasn't much of an introduction.
Ladies and gentlemen, your boss, Michael Scott.
Still lame.
OK.
All right.
Thank you, Ryan, for that wonderful introduction.
This is the first time you've opened PowerPoint.
Why?
You didn't prepare a presentation at all, did you?
You know what?
I had a really rough night, and my boss can back me up on that.
I'm your boss.
My other boss, Mr. Figaro.
You have another job.
What I do between 5.30 p.m. and 1.00 a.m. is nobody's business but mine and my other businesses.
Are you a collective waitress?
You cannot have a second job if it affects your work here.
It won't.
It did already.
Okay, honestly, it is unlikely that I was gonna figure this out anyway.
That's so funny.
Why is Daryl here?
He works in the warehouse.
I invited him.
It's not a party.
Daryl, back downstairs.
This isn't the information you need.
There's information here?
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need this.
Okay.
Hey, come on.
Um, see you later tonight.
I got plans later.
Okay.
Bye, honey.
Michael, you quit the other job or you're fired here.
I am livid.
Absolutely livid.
It's ridiculous.
Yes, I'm having this grant branch come in on one Saturday so they can reenter sales that they made on the phone as sales made by the website, which they should have done in the first place if the website hadn't been working.
My favorite branch.
How's everybody doing?
I'm here today to do some creative problem solving about Dunder Mifflin, Infinity and field your questions.
Question.
Dwight.
Why am I being forced to come in tomorrow and pretend that a website made sales that I made?
This is a temporary measure to increase the legitimacy of the site.
I don't like when my clients call me to help them use the website.
I'm not seeing commissions on that.
I hear you, Stanley.
That is a great observation.
Problems like that will not happen when we launch Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0.
When will that be?
TBD.
Phyllis.
Did the police solve the problem with the... Yes.
Yes, they did.
Yes, they did.
Yes.
The social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.
I don't understand why our website needs to have social networking at all.
Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
It's all about creating a one-stop consumer experience, all right?
You're chatting with your friends.
You're talking about the latest music, about the election.
All of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
And then an older gentleman asks you, boxers or briefs?
I don't get the big fuss here.
I like the site.
If I had created a website with this many problems, I'd kill myself.
Do you have a question, Kelly?
Yeah, I have a lot of questions.
Number one, how dare you?
Bye, everyone.
Stay real Scranton, all right?
Peace.
I think it's self-explanatory.
Hey, Jim, come here for a second.
Can you answer me something as a true Eagles fan?
Oh, boy.
How do you live with a franchise this bad?
On a wing and a prayer, mostly.
All right, whatever you say.
Listen, while I have you here with Toby, I need to give you a formal warning about your job performance.
A formal warning?
It's actually not a joke.
I know how you spend your time here.
And I know how little you care about your job.
And honestly, if you spent as much time selling as you do goofing around with Dwight and hanging out at reception, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
I'm sorry.
Is this because I talked to Wallace about your website?
Because I really didn't mean to go over your head.
This has nothing to do with that, all right?
I always appreciate constructive criticism about my job performance.
I thrive on it.
I'm sorry, then do you mind explaining it a little better?
Because I'm not sure what's really... Whoa, don't get all defensive, all right?
It's just a warning.
If you want the details, Toby can provide.
We take it easy, all right?
So I just got the fax, closing the sale, and it's big.
It is really big.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Don't interrupt.
Congratulations on doing your job.
Did you enter the sale on the website?
No, I didn't.
I just logged it in.
All right.
Try to be a team player here, Jim.
Log it in the website.
All right.
Well, it already went through.
Don't worry about that.
Just re-log it.
Hello?
The kid.
Look, look, look, look, look.
Hey.
It's the temp.
Look.
Oh, my gosh.
Is that the police?
Yes.
Well, this is what happened.
Ryan's big project was the website. which wasn't doing so well.
So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice, once as office sales and once as website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders.
Another good term is fraud.
The real crime, I think, was the beard.
How's my favorite branch doing?
All right.
Ronnie was blech.
Things were an all time sad here.
But then I got an email from Ryan that he was coming back to town and I called the temp agency and I told them I will pay you any amount.
Just give me Ryan Howard.
Give him to me.
I want him.
I need him.
And you got a goatee.
I did.
Did you get that after you helped me move and you saw mine?
Yes.
Goatee!
Fire.
Duh.
Guy.
Hey, Kevin.
That's really funny.
Yeah.
It's great to see you, Kev.
You too.
I'm keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me.
So when I'm back on top, they'll be sorry.
Kevin just made the list.
Jim.
I want to apologize. for how I treated you last year.
I lost sight of myself, and now that I've quit the rat race I realize there's so much more to life than being the youngest VP in the company's history.
I've even started volunteering, giving back to the community.
That's great.
You're talking about your court-ordered community service?
I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.
But he did, right?
All right.
All right.
Hey.
I would like a pair of size 9, please.
It's Michael.
Swamped, Michael.
Happy birthday to Sally in lane 27.
OK.
Imagine a company that has no memory of your past misconduct because they have no files.
I was the youngest VP in company history.
More recently, he worked in a bowling alley.
Tell me one of your funny bowling alley stories.
Kelly Kapoor is gone.
Her fiancé, Ravi, was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami University.
I don't need him anymore.
I am going to Miami, biatches, to hang with LeBron James and Gloria Estefan.
Miami University in Ohio.
On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it.
Enjoy this now, losers.
I'm so happy for you, Kelly.
Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit and also moved to Ohio for what he claimed were unrelated reasons.
I've actually done a lot of market research and it turns out that southwestern Ohio is going to be the next Silicon Valley.
They call it the Silicon Prairie.
It's a big university town.
And it's not garbage, it's my clothes.
