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Hi, Sam here.
Welcome to Radio Headspace.
Recently, when I started talking about astrology with a friend, my husband began poking fun at us.
He finds astrology to be utter nonsense and is upset by people being taken advantage of because of their belief in it.
There are some points of his that I agree with, but I am also open to possibilities.
And I just enjoy talking about astrology without being rigidly attached to it.
I've tried to convince him to join in the fun of discussing horoscope signs, but he just doesn't see any value in it.
And that's okay.
This experience got me thinking about the urge to change someone's mind.
Can you think of a time that you were actually able to change someone's mind about something?
In the world we live in now, with serious topics being discussed online among people who don't even know each other, it's hard to imagine how to begin challenging rigid opinions in a meaningful and effective way.
As I began thinking about this, I was reminded of a term that I learned in graduate school called transformative learning.
The American sociologist, Jack Mesereau came up with this theory, and he described it as a process of changing one's frame of reference by reflecting on assumptions and beliefs.
And from there, you can come up with new ways of seeing things.
So essentially transformative learning is all about being willing to stay open to others' perspectives and challenge our own assumptions and beliefs.
This can be difficult, as we may need to grieve the loss of beliefs and ways of thinking that no longer work for us.
And we may encounter resistance if these beliefs or opinions have come from people we revere, trust, or are close to.
Or if a set of beliefs has been protecting us from an uncomfortable truth.
In order to transform a current belief into a new one aligned with the direction we want to head in life, we can first reflect on where this belief came from.
As we reflect and inquire, it's important to be gentle with ourselves and approach the process the way we might ask a young child who's just forming opinions of their own.
In meditation we call this a beginner's mind approach, where we view things as if it's for the first time, just like a beginner.
There's also a willingness to be wrong and apologize or let others know that your opinions have changed.
So if being a transformative learner sounds appealing to you, here are some ways to get started.
Think about a belief that you hold.
And if you can't think of one off the top of your head, try filling in the blank.
I believe that blank.
And then just reflect on where that belief comes from.
Here's an example.
I used to believe that I was a moody person, but I realized that this belief needed an update.
And as I reflected on when in my life this belief was formed and what behavior it was based on, I remembered times when I was much younger, in my teen and early adult years, when I didn't have as many tools that I have today.
As I reflected on my ability to emotionally regulate and the coping mechanisms that I've developed for when I'm in a bad mood, I updated this belief and let go of my identity as a moody person.
You can reflect on the beliefs that you hold about yourself, your relationships, ethical beliefs, maybe religious beliefs, as well as your personal values.
Take time to journal about when this belief was formed, what influenced it and where it came from, maybe internally, or from an authority figure or someone you trust.
As you check in with it, see if you can gently challenge it by thinking about alternative perspectives.
And even if you decide you still hold a belief to be true for you, you will have benefited from thinking about it from different points of view.
And if you're interested, there's a great video about the nature of change in the Headspace app.
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