Listen, Ross wants to kiss you at midnight.
It's so obvious.
Why doesn't he just ask?
Rach, Rach, listen.
I'm going to kiss you at midnight.
What?
Boy, everyone's got to kiss someone.
You can't kiss Ross.
You've got the history.
So?
So, who would you rather have kissing?
Me or Chandler?
Oh, good point.
Yeah.
Three two, one.
Happy new year.
Happy new year.
Happy new year fees, you too.
Happy new year, joey.
Saw that do anything for you ross, and he said that you're looking for a new place.
Oh yeah, hopefully across the street, if certain dutch people would just let go.
I was kind of hoping you'd stay but joey, i have to go.
There's no room for a baby here, No room.
It's a baby.
It's like this big.
You could put it over here.
Or we could put it right here.
Oh, it's cute, right?
Or we could put it over here.
You wouldn't even notice it.
Where's the baby?
It's not just a matter of where you put it.
I mean, a baby changes everything.
They cry all the time.
I mean, imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around.
I could use a challenge.
It's getting pretty easy.
It's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I can't do that to you.
I mean, it would disrupt your entire life.
I just... I love living with you so much.
I just wish things didn't have to change.
I know.
You know, I blame Ross for this.
I do, too, a little bit.
I'm gonna miss you.
You're the hottest roommate I ever had.
Sorry, honey, I'm just having a rough day.
Oh, what's wrong?
Oh, you really just don't want to hear about it.
Then why did I ask?
Okay, it's just.
I mean, this is really embarrassing.
But lately, with this whole pregnancy thing, I'm just finding myself How do I put this?
Erotically charged.
Is that college talk for horny?
Yeah.
So you know, I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do about them.
Because I can't date like a normal person, which is fine, because I don't need a relationship.
I mean, all I really want is one great night.
Just sex, you know?
No strings attached.
No relationship.
Just someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing.
Just one great night.
I mean, is that really so hard... to find?
So how was your day?
It's been good.
I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Well, I gotta get up early, and it's almost 7 o'clock, so... Yeah, I gotta go to my room, too.
Okay, good night.
Good night.
I can't do it.
I didn't ask you to do it.
You're Rachel.
You're Joey.
You're my friend.
He's right back at you.
Plus, it would be wrong and weird and bad.
And so bad.
I don't even know what you're talking about because I didn't ask you to do anything.
I know, want to do it.
No, i mean either, i'm just testing you hey.
Well, that's the end of this conversation.
This conversation never happened.
Good night, get back in there, okay?
All right, so now you go.
No, i don't want to tell you why not, because it's embarrassing.
More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm.
I didn't say raspberry before, did I?
Just tell me, Rick.
Just tell me.
OK.
All right, stand up.
Well, when we're at the door, I lightly press my lips against his and then move into his body just for a second.
And then I make this sound.
Okay, I know it didn't sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Yeah, well, yeah, that would work, yeah.
All right, I got to go to bed.
Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Yeah.
Me too.
You're home.
I'm watching Cujo.
Alone?
Yes.
What is wrong with this dog?
Hey, did you get to the part where they're trapped in the car and Cujo's throwing himself at the windshield?
No, no.
Seriously, what's wrong with the dog?
Wait a minute.
What are you doing home so early?
What happened to your date?
Oh, uh, didn't work out.
Well, you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Oh, uh, okay.
Yeah.
You know, I never thought I would ever say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies.
What are you doing over there?
Come sit here.
You protect me.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, why not?
Okay.
Okay, that's him.
That's him.
That's Cujo.
That's Cujo.
All right, all right, all right.
Yeah, it's gonna be okay.
Oh, my God.
What's he gonna do now?
I can't watch.
Seriously, how can you watch this?
Aren't you scared?
Terrified.
Happy valentine's day.
Hello you too, hey.
So uh, how's it going living over at ross's?
It's good, except he makes us watch the discovery channel all day long.
Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the middle ages?
Oh, thank you, i'll see you guys later.
Okay, one lucky to go cup of coffee.
Honey, I wish you would get over her.
I hate seeing you like this.
Is there anything I can do for you?
Do you want to look down my top?
Thanks.
Maybe later.
Oh, Gunther, could I get a scone?
Do you want anything?
I don't know what I want.
I want a lot of things.
I want to be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day.
And I want her to love me back.
And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that that's never gonna happen.
We have red bagels.
Okay.
Hey.
Look, I know you've been really depressed lately, so I've brought someone over to cheer you up.
Right outside this door is a real live furry playmate.
No, I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again.
Hey, a dog.
Oh, hi.
Who you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane.
This is the happiest dog in the world.
I borrowed him from my friend Wendy.
So you can keep him till he cheers you up.
And he will cheer you up.
Thanks so much, Phoebe.
We are gonna have so much fun.
Yes, we are.
Oh, not that kind of fun.
You like Rachel?
Yes.
I like Rachel.
Rachel?
Rachel?
Yeah, okay.
Hey, you know who else I like?
You.
And it doesn't get said enough.
I like you, Ross.
Rachel?
Rachel?
Yeah, it's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just... Um...
What about all the stuff you just said?
I mean, how about, like, if you can't stop thinking about her, like, how you can't sleep?
I'm an actor, you know?
As a group, we tend to be overdramatic.
Rachel, who's carrying my baby?
Rachel?
No, I know it's bad, and I know it's wrong, okay?
But it's not like anything's ever gonna happen.
You know, these are just feelings.
They're gonna go away.
You know, I gotta go.
Oh, come on, Ross.
Hey, Ross, Ross, don't... I just, you know, I just have one... Rachel!
Rachel!
You're in love with her?
I thought you knew that.
Um, no.
Look, if it helps, I don't want to feel this way, honest.
I just keep thinking, I'll get over this, you know?
But it just keeps getting harder, and I don't know what to do, you know?
What do I do?
You need to find out where she is, because if she's not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
What if, uh and I'm not saying she will be, but If she is where you are, then uh, Then my feeling weird about it shouldn't stand in the way.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Look if she's gonna end up with somebody else.
The truth is she couldn't find a better guy, so Okay, thanks.
So when do you think you're gonna talk to her?
Oh, my God, I have to tell her.
I haven't even thought about what I would say.
What should I say?
I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.
I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Joey, Joey, I love you so much.
But I... But...
Joey.
Yeah, right.
Hey, that's, uh, that's OK.
It's fine.
It's, uh, pretty much what I was expecting, you know?
So, uh, it's no big deal, all right?
I think I'm going to go.
No.
No, Joey, please don't.
Please don't leave like this.
No, come on.
You cannot do this to a pregnant woman. start doing that.
You can't do that, Rich, because then you're gonna make me do it.
Okay, we go.
Can I... You know, I was only kidding.
Oh, my God, that's Charlie.
She's cheating on Joey with Ross.
Oh, that darn floozy giant...
I'm not sure about this.
Yeah, you're right.
This is none of our business.
No, I'm not sure that is the best way to hear everything.
Someone get me a glass.
No, I'm not going to do this, okay?
I'm not going to eavesdrop on my friend.
Oh, I love Barbados.
I can't believe I'm kissing you.
I'm kissing Rachel.
I know.
I'm her rachel and joey.
It's rachel and joey.
What?
Get over here whoa?
Oh, my god, i love how thin these walls are.
Hey hi, so did you?
Uh, did you tell ross?
Well, i tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency.
So i guess now it's your turn again.
No no no no, no.
I think it's better if you tell him.
You know, it's easier for a woman.
That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go.
I didn't mean it.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, because that's what we do.
All right, all right, okay.
Um, how about this?
How about this?
Tomorrow Tomorrow, we'll both go and we'll tell them together.
Okay, that sounds fair.
That just means, though, once again, we can't... I know, I know.
That's okay.
I mean, we can control ourselves.
We're not animals.
No!
Of course, we can wait.
Yeah.
All right, so I guess that means good night, then.
Yep.
Good night.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Seriously, goodnight.
Stop saying goodnight.
Okay.
I'm so sorry.
I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Aye.
And to love.
Ah, love.
L-O-V-E, love.
L is for life.
And what is life without love?
Oh, my God, are we supposed to answer?
O is for... Oh, wow!
The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I am still fine with, by the way is for how extremely normal I find it that you two are together and that one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Dude, are you okay?
Totally.
Ross, you don't seem okay.
I'm sorry.
It must be the pressure of entertaining.
Hey, what do you say we, uh, move this onto the likes of the couch?
I say cheesy line, but okay.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I don't know why I did that.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Again, I don't know what happened.
I must be nervous.
I don't get it.
Chandler loved it.
I promise, I promise, I promise.
I won't do it again.
I really do.
I promise.
This is gonna be great.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey!
Hey!
Got a champagne?
Yes, ma'am.
Ready to power through.
Excellent!
Okay, stick it in the ice bucket.
The phone is off the hook.
And in the interest of powering through...
OK, sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy.
All right, let's do it.
OK, you're scaring me a little bit.
Oh, get over it, soldier.
We got to do this.
OK.
Ha-ha, you like that, huh?
You like that?
Let's kick this into high gear, huh?
Yeah, baby, I'll show you how we do it.
No, no, no.
You need me in my misters.
What?
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Joey, are you okay?
Soldier down.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey.
Listen, can I ask you a question?
When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to more than that?
Kind of.
You know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys.
No, no, no.
No, I mean sexually.
Yeah.
Was there a part of you that felt like it was really wrong?
Actually, no.
No, it felt right.
You know, it felt like, uh, I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
I can tell from your expressions that's the good news you were hoping for.
Well, I'm gonna go continue to spread the joy.
Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, just because something's difficult doesn't mean that you quit.
Right, totally.
Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we do it.
Yeah, and if it doesn't work, then we'll just be one of those couples that never has sex.
That's a plan.
I did not see this coming.
I know.
I don't get it.
I mean, I was so sure this is what I wanted.
Mm-hmm.
Me too.
Well, how come Monica and Chandler could do it?
I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
Aw.
I bet you're right.
Mm.
So?
Yeah.
I love you.
Love you too.
All right, I'm going to bed.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while.
