Could you just sign right here, please?
Oh, sure.
Oh, whoa, what's the... The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch.
Wait, no, that's ridiculous.
Come on, he lives three blocks away.
You know what?
I'll take it myself.
Thank you.
All right, Rach, come on, let's go.
Yeah.
Are you kidding?
Oh, come on.
It's only three blocks.
It's not very heavy.
Try it.
Come on, come on.
Oh.
Oh, I can do it.
Yeah.
You two are really gonna enjoy that couch.
Oh, yeah.
We're, uh... Yeah, we're not together, but... Oh, okay.
Something didn't quite add up there.
Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?
Uh, yes, I did, but there isn't.
OK, here we go.
OK, go left, left, left.
You know what?
There's no more left, left.
Okay, you know, uh, lift it straight up over your head.
Straight up over your head.
You can do it.
You can do it.
Okay.
You got it?
Good, good, good, good.
Yeah, you got it, right?
You got it, right?
You got it.
Any chance.
You think the couch looks good there to me?
No no, you come here to me.
Hey bros, i brought reinforcements.
Oh great, what you brought, joey?
Well, i brought the next best thing chandler.
You brought chandler.
The next best thing would be monica.
You know I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong.
So Look, I drew a sketch of how we're gonna do it.
Okay, Rach.
That's you.
That's the couch.
Ooh, what's that?
Oh, that's me.
Wow.
Certainly think a lot of yourself.
No, that's my arm.
Oh, I see.
I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
You know, just follow my lead.
Okay.
All right, okay.
Here we go.
All right, ready?
Turn, turn, turn.
I don't think we can turn anymore.
I just don't think it's going to fit.
Oh, yeah, it will.
Come on.
Up, up, up, up.
Yes.
Here we go.
Pivot.
Pivot.
Pivot.
Pivot.
Pivot.
Pivot!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore.
You think?
All right, let's bring it back down and try again.
Okay.
Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now.
I can't believe that didn't work.
I know, me neither.
I mean, you had a sketch.
Oh, you know what?
What did you mean when you said pivot?
Turn this couch.
I'm not satisfied with it.
I want to return this couch.
It's cut in half.
That's what I'm telling you.
Did you cut this couch in half?
This couch is cut in half.
I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half.
You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?
Look, I'm a reasonable man.
I will accept store credit.
I'll give you store credit in the amount of $4.
I will take it.
What are you guys doing?
Try it.
I can't feel a thing.
Are you kidding?
This is packing?
We're taking a break.
From?
Jumping on the bed.
All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours, and there's a lot to do.
Now, Ross, you've got Geller blood.
You're in charge of these yahoos.
You got it.
All right.
All right, she's right.
We got to get serious.
Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him.
I can't find garbage bags.
Oh, well, I think I saw some in here.
What is it?
I don't know, but maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die.
I can't believe we're living here.
What is it?
Did you see the size of the closets?
I can't believe we live here.
I was thinking about how it's an end of an era.
Oh, all right.
But, you know, I gotta say, I don't think six years counts as an era.
An era is defined as a significant period of time.
Now, if it was significant for me, maybe it wasn't significant to you.
What is the matter with you?
What is the matter with you?
Why are you more upset?
Aren't you going to be sad that we're not living together anymore?
Aren't you going to miss me at all?
Monica, all right, but don't get mad at me.
It's just a little hard to believe.
What's hard to believe?
Well, you know, I mean, it's you guys.
You do this kind of stuff, you know?
I mean, you were going to get married in Vegas, and then you backed out.
I guess I'm not upset because I don't see you actually going through with it.
I'm sorry.
Rachel, it's going to happen.
Chandler is gonna move in here.
But I know... Just let me finish, okay?
This isn't something that we just impulsively decided to do in Vegas.
This is something that we both really want.
And it is going to happen.
It is?
Really?
Yeah, sweetie.
You mean we're not gonna live together anymore?
No.
What?
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
What if it's you?
I mean, it's the end of an era!
I know!
Emily's cousin kicked me out.
What?
Why?
Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
How can he do that?
Didn't you sign a lease?
Who needs a lease when it's family?
Hey, you can stay with us.
We'll take care of you.
Yeah, absolutely.
Anything you need, man.
But you have to promise me you will let us know the second you are feeling better, so that we can make fun of your hair.
Yeah.
We got it.
Okay.
Thanks, you guys.
I really appreciate this.
All right, well, I'm gonna get packing again.
Wow, I've been moving around so much lately, I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
What?
He thought you said gonad.
Joey, please.
Sorry.
Hello, children.
Hey, wanna play some foosball?
Please?
Okay.
No, no, no.
We have to move the table into my room, yeah, because of all the boxes.
Come on!
All right, I have one question.
What is the deal with this?
Bye-bye, little puppet joey hand?
I don't know, the quiet down thing?
You mean this?
Look, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs?
My God.
What if that had been porn?
Huh?
All right, look, you know, this may be tough, but come on, it's Ross.
I survived college with him.
All right.
I guess I can hold out a little longer.
Let's have a game.
Okay.
Yes!
Uh, fellas?
Okay, so he's out of here.
We should have talked about this before.
Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Oh, no, no, not at all.
We're just moving in right now.
We'll see where it goes.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
For me, it's as far as it can ever go.
What do you mean?
Look, Phoebe, I love you very much, but I never want to get married again.
Oh.
Wow.
No, it's just my first marriage.
Was, you know, such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea?
Was it really that bad?
At one point near the end, she deliberately defecated on me.
Okay, well, that's bad, yeah.
But don't you think it might be different with someone else?
Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet.
Except for once in the ocean.
Look, it's not about who I would marry.
I was certain the first time I got married, it would last forever, and I was totally wrong.
But it just... Look, Phoebe, it's not about you.
I just never want to get married again.
Huh.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay with that?
Because if not, maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
No, oh, I definitely don't want to get married.
No, I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to, too.
Because you know, if we move in and you start changing your mind, there's going to be hell to pay, mister.
Trust me, I will never.
Yeah, I get that, yeah.
Hey, Pheebs.
You know, I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day, and I hope I was a little helpful.
Oh, yeah, you were helpful.
Yeah.
No, thank you.
Good, good.
Yeah, because the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.
What do you mean?
Well, I know, the other day in the coffee house you were all caught up in the whole soccer mom thing.
But is that really you?
I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
They are awfully boxy.
I mean, I don't know.
You'd be so bored with marriage.
I mean, it's so normal.
Uh-huh.
Hey, hey, can I help?
Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pit bull.
But these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.
Hey, uh, where do you guys want this?
Yeah, seriously, because this is really heavy.
I mean, not for me, because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
Just one last time, the marriage thing, there's no wiggle room, none at all?
No, but you don't want to get married either, right?
Right.
Except that I do want to get married.
Didn't have this conversation down at the truck, huh?
What?
You want to get married?
Someday.
And hernia.
I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt like I was missing out on anything but
It just, it feels like now it's my turn to have some of the regular stuff.
If you want to get married, why didn't you say something before?
Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it, and I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Yeah, well, I want to live with you, too.
I mean, let's do that.
But I don't think I can.
It was OK to move in when I didn't know what was going to happen.
But I can't move in knowing nothing is ever going to happen.
Can you at least try living together?
I mean, you might change your mind about marriage.
Are you going to change yours?
No.
Me neither.
Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
But I don't want this to end.
No, I don't want it to end either.
I can't believe this is going to end.
I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
Yeah.
OK.
OK.
So, uh.
Say it easy, Mikey.
Okay, it's ready.
Come on.
What's ready?
Just come.
Wow hey, this is beautiful.
Oh, did you what?
Did you work for two days straight, pretty much.
What do you think of the floor?
I don't know.
It looks the same.
You used to have carpet.
Oh yeah, I made snacks.
Please, just hang out, okay?
I'm just going to rest my eyes just a little bit.
Mon, do you want us to come back later?
Oh, no, no, no.
Stay, stay, stay.
Just keep talking.
I am always the hostess.
Okay, if everyone's on board, it's settled.
Chandler.
Chandler.
Yeah.
Are you on board?
Yes.
Then problem solved.
Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa.
You're gonna love Oklahoma.
Try feeding her again.
I already fed her.
I know.
That's why I said, again.
All right, you guys, we can't turn on each other, okay?
That's just what she wants.
Hey.
Hey.
Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Oh, no, you guys just stay here.
I'm going to go check her diaper.
Pheebs, do you want to come?
Oh, I'm kind of part of this.
Actually, Pheebs, it's more of a husband and wife kind of thing.
I knew I should have married Chandler.
Okay, what's up?
Okay, you know how we always said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year?
You know, you could study French cooking and I could write, and we could picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux.
Oh, yes.
Okay, you know how people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
What?
Who says that?
People who have never been to Paris.
What's going on?
We're moving to Tulsa.
Excuse me?
Miss McKenna, she kind of works above my boss.
She asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there and I was sleeping and apparently said yes.
Tulsa, Oklahoma?
The Sooner State.
Whatever that is.
I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma.
Really?
Oh, what a beautiful morning.
Sorry with the fringe on top.
Are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay?
Not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus.
I'll get out of it.
Thank you.
What is wrong with Emma?
Oh, she misunderstood.
She thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Ma'am, do you have a minute?
I kind of have some bad news.
I don't think I can move to Tulsa.
What?
Uh, it's a funny story, actually.
I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning, so when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying.
You fell asleep?
But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting.
Isn't that funny?
Irony.
Not a fan?
All right.
See, here's the thing.
I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won't go.
See me?
I love Tulsa.
Tulsa is heaven.
Tulsa is Italy.
Please don't make me go there.
Chandler, I... No, no, no.
Look, Carol.
Can I call you Carol?
Why would I when your name is Elaine?
Oh, what a great picture of your son, strapping.
That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it?
Well, she's lovely.
I like a girl with a strong jaw.
I'll call you from Tulsa.
Oh, bye.
Bye, honey.
What's the matter, Joe?
I'm mad at you for leaving.
Nothing but a big lever.
Big lever with the stupid suitcase.
Any chance you're trying to pick a fight to make all of this easier?
Well, dude, you see right through me.
Okay, well...
Bye, Mon.
Bye, Ross.
Rachel.
Bye, Emma.
Okay, bye-bye.
Have a good trip.
Okay.
Hey.
Hi.
What are you doing?
Well, you know, I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Why would you want to do that?
So that there would be a decent place for me to sit.
Rach, there is a decent place... And your lap does not count.
Okay, come on, help me move this.
No, no, no.
No?
No.
Rosita does not move.
I'm sorry.
Rosita?
As in... As in Rosita does not move.
Joey, it's just a chair.
What's the big deal?
The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it's at the perfect angle, so you don't get any glare coming off of Stevie.
Stevie the TV?
Is there a problem?
No.
Oh, what does he know?
Come on, Rosita.
Us chicas gotta stick together.
Oh!
Ow!
You bitch.
Thanks.
Dude, some guy just called for you.
Who was it?
I don't know.
How about thanks for taking the message?
Jeez.
Hey, listen.
You know when you move in, Rachel's room's going to be empty.
You want to talk about what we want to do with it?
Sure.
Okay.
I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right?
With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on it all the time.
And then we could have like a roll-top desk with little comment cards so people can tell us how much they love staying here.
Or whatever.
You know, I really haven't thought about it that much.
Well, I like that idea.
Obviously.
But I was thinking maybe it could be a game room, you know?
I mean, you can buy old arcade games like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200.
The real ones, the big, big, big ones.
No.
Okay, so you mean no as in, gee, Chandler, what an interesting idea.
Let's discuss it before we reject it completely.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course.
Yes, interesting idea.
Talk about it.
But no.
So that's it.
Well, I just don't think that, you know, arcade games go in the beautiful guest room.
The beautiful guest room's gonna be filled with antiques.
Which is why Asteroids is perfect.
It's the oldest game.
What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Nothing.
I don't have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody that we know lives about 30 seconds away.
Are you mocking me?
No, I'm not mocking you or your beautiful gay meme.
Hey, what's up?
Nothing.
Monica and I had a stupid fight.
But you're still moving in together, right?
Because my ad came out today.
Wanted female roommate non-smoker non-ugly, nice.
I just figured you know, after living with you it'd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate.
You know someone.
I could learn from someone, someone who's different than me and what's more different than me, a guy who's not 19 than say, a girl who is 19 not just a hat rack, my friend.
Hey, you want a beer?
Why not?
We'll discuss it in the morning.
What the hell is going on?
We took our apartment back.
I had nothing to do with it.
Okay, it was my idea, but I don't feel good about it.
Oh!
Oh!
We are switching back right now.
No, we're not.
We're not leaving.
Well, you're gonna have to leave sometime because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, we're switching it back.
There's nothing you can do to stop us.
Right, Joe?
I don't know, honey.
I don't want to move again.
I don't care.
This is our apartment, and they stole it.
You stole?
Our apartment.
We won that apartment fair and square twice, and I'm getting it back right now.
I'm getting it back right now!
All right.
We figured you might respond this way.
So we have a backup offer.
Oh, no, no, no.
No more offers.
You can't offer anything to us.
Let us keep the apartment.
And as a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Totally worth it.
That was one good minute.
Good night.
Men are such idiots.
I know.
Can you believe something that stupid actually got us our apartment back?
It's so funny to think if you had just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
The street, the trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Man, those two dogs are going at it.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, where you been?
Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.
But you know what?
This house is great.
Really?
What changed your mind?
Oh, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Joey...
There was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
What?
I'm just messing with you.
That's not funny.
You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts.
Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room?
What?
I get my own room?
You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?
Oh, my God.
Hey, can I have an aquarium and a sex swing?
No.
Why not?
I'll keep the tank clean.
No, it's just a bit sudden.
No, it's great, okay?
I am totally on board.
I love you, too.
All right, bye.
What's the matter, Ross?
Nothing.
Oh, actually, great news.
Just got off the phone with Emily, and looks like I'm moving to a new apartment.
Woo-hoo!
Why?
Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture.
Why not a fresh new apartment?
Her cousin has this great place to sublet.
It's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
That's way uptown.
That's like three trains away, which is great.
I love to ride that rail.
So, you're really okay with this?
Yes, yes.
I mean, it's kind of far from work, but, uh, you know, I'll get so much done on the commute.
I've been given the gift of time.
It's so funny because last Christmas I got the gift of space.
We should get them together and make a continuum.
We just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Yeah.
We just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable.
Yes, yes, unreasonable.
Unreasonable.
How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married?
You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work.
It's about compromise.
Do you always like it?
No.
Do you do it?
Yes.
Because it's not all laughing, happy candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Park all the time.
It's real life, OK?
It's what grown-ups do.
I think he's right.
You guys hang out at the coffee house way too much.
You're getting this house too?
Ooh, are we going to have a bidding war?
I better warn you, I'm a toughie.
Don't, don't, don't.
No, actually, we're buying the house next door.
What?
Why?
I don't know why.
Oh, that decides it then.
I was on the fence.
But knowing that you two would be our neighbors, now we have to get it.
Ellen, we're going to talk numbers.
This cannot be happening.
Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer.
Maybe the Januses won't get it.
Maybe the other couple will.
The only way that that is going to happen is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
Okay, okay.
All right, what if we get both houses?
We can turn this house into a guest house.
That's a great idea.
And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money?
Okay, you come up with an idea.
All right, all right, all right.
We've still got three hours until escrow closes on our house.
We can still get out.
But we love our house.
Well, we love it so much with her next door.
And she's going to be louder out here, too.
Just the crickets and oh my god.
Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's still gonna show up wherever we go.
I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of surprise.
I mean.
Never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body.
Well, we have to do something.
We can't have her living next door.
Oh, that does it too.
Hi again.
Hey.
Hey.
Thank you so much.
Oh, don't thank me.
Thank the jerk that never showed up.
Okay, I gotta get to work.
You want some help with that?
Oh, no, thanks.
I got it.
Oh, no, I don't.
Whoa.
You okay?
Yeah.
Whew.
I stood up too fast.
Got a little head rush.
The heat.
And the humidity.
That's a tough combination.
Do you want to come in for some lemonade?
Like you wouldn't believe.
Wow.
This is a great place.
Thank you.
Just make yourself comfortable.
Gotcha.
This place is really my grandmother's.
I got it from her when she moved to Florida.
Otherwise, I could never afford a place like this.
So if the landlord ever asks, I'm an 87-year-old woman who's afraid of her VCR.
You thirsty?
Oh, you bet I am.
Okay, here's your penis.
Oh, my God, what the hell are you doing?
You said you want to come in for some lemonade?
So?
Were you just going to give me lemonade?
Yeah, huh?
Cover yourself up.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
I can't believe this.
I mean, someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they want to have sex?
Um, usually, yeah.
Well, not just lemonade.
Iced tea, sometimes juice.
Look, I'm sorry.
I just thought you liked me.
Such a jerk.
It's okay.
I suppose it could happen to anyone.
Not anyone I know, but... By the way, I can still see it.
I'm moving out, man.
Wow.
Well, uh, hey, really happy for you guys.
Congratulations.
See you later.
Hey, Joey, Joey, are you okay?
Yeah, I've got to go.
I've got an acting job.
Like you'd believe that.
This sucks.
Look, I'm just going to be right across the hall.
And I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up, I'm moving right back in with you.
Okay, look, look, look.
If you're gonna be moving in with him, I feel that it is my responsibility to tell you the truth about him, okay.
He's a terrible roommate, terrible.
He forgets to... He always, he always... Who am I kidding?
He's the best roommate ever.
Listen to me.
It's like all of my life, everyone has always told me, you're a shoe.
You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe.
And then today I just stopped and I said, what if I don't want to be a shoe?
What if I want to be a purse, you know, or a hat?
No, I don't want you to buy me a hat.
I'm saying that I am a hat.
It's a metaphor, Daddy.
You can see where he'd have trouble.
Look, Daddy, it's my life.
Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Well, I guess we've established she's staying here with Monica.
Well, maybe that's my decision.
Well, maybe I don't need your money.
Wait, wait, I said maybe!
Come on, you can't live off your parents your whole life.
I know that.
That's why I was getting married.
Give her a break.
It's hard being on your own for the first time.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I remember when I first came to this city.
I was 14.
My mom had just killed herself, and my stepdad was back in prison.
And I got here, and I didn't know anybody.
And I ended up living with this albino guy who was like cleaning windshields outside Port Authority.
And then he killed himself.
And then I found aromatherapy, so believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
The word you're looking for is... anyway.
All right.
You ready?
I don't think so.
Oh, come on.
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
Hey!
Hey!
Welcome to the real world.
It sucks.
You're gonna love it.
I'm not interested in the guy's apartment.
Oh, please.
I saw the way you were checking out his moldings.
You want it.
Why would I want another apartment?
Huh?
I've already got an apartment that I love.
Well, it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
All right.
You want the truth?
I'm thinking about it.
What?
I'm sorry.
I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone and I'm finally at a place where I got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't need a roommate either, OK?
I can afford to live here by myself.
You know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
What are you getting so bent out of shape for, huh?
It's not like we agreed to live together forever.
We're not Bert and Ernie.
Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again.
Well, I'm guessing, uh, tonight at the coffee house.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, take care.
Yeah.
Now, look, there's only one problem, though.
There's only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joey's.
Well, since the fire was kind of my fault, I guess you should get to stay here.
Hey, hey, hey, no.
This was no one's fault, Pheebs, okay?
It was an accident.
Well, no, it was my fault, so you should get the nice room.
Okay!
So, Rach, you're the first guest at Hotel Monica.
Yeah.
You just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning.
I thought I would bring them to you, you know, in bed.
What you've been through so much.
I have.
This right here is where I keep the pizza.
And that's where the napkin is.
What's that smell?
I know.
So, did you sleep well last night?
I did.
Yeah?
I did.
Monica was so sweet, she left a little mint on my pillow.
You know what Joey left on my pillow?
What?
Gum.
Well, we determined the cause of the fire.
Yeah, I know, I know.
It was my candle.
My candle.
No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom.
It looks like a curling iron.
I don't use a curling iron.
Well, someone does.
Don't look at me.
My hair's straight.
Straight, straight, straight.
Could have been a hair straightener.
Oh.
This is where I keep the pizza.
And hey, where'd the napkin go?
Oh, look at her.
So happy.
If only there were a smaller one to clean this one.
Hey, is, uh, is Chandler here?
No, he's picking up dinner.
Why, what's up?
Well... Look, whatever happens, we're here for you and we love you.
All right.
We think Chandler might be having an affair.
What?
Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street.
And then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
They went in together.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, that's awful.
What did you think of the house?
What?
Monica, you understand what we're saying, right?
Yeah, sure.
And I'm devastated, obviously.
Did you think the neighborhood was homey?
Hey, you son of a bitch.
Is it me or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today, and, um, they think you're having an affair.
Actually, who's Nancy?
What's going on?
OK.
All right, guys, you better sit down.
This is pretty big.
Yeah.
I'm not having an affair.
Nancy is our realtor.
I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes.
You can't move.
You just can't.
Rachel's right.
This is where you guys belong.
Yeah, you don't want to live in Westchester.
That's like the worst of the Chesters.
You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys are just having dinner or watching TV or something.
But
It makes me feel better.
And now when I look over, who am I gonna see?
The Gottliebs?
The Yangs?
They don't make me feel so good.
Yeah, so don't move, okay?
Just stay here and maybe close your blinds at night.
Hello?
It's Nancy.
They responded to our offer.
And?
Yeah.
OK, thanks.
They passed.
They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
We can't afford that.
No.
Well, there you go.
I'm really sorry, you guys.
Yeah, I'm sorry too.
I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window.
Yeah, but we're going to let you be alone.
You going to be OK?
Yeah, we'll be OK.
Love you guys.
You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.
It's OK.
We understand.
And about this Nancy, if you're not sleeping with her, should I?
There'll be other houses, but I just... I love that one so much.
Yeah.
Well, it's a good thing we got it, then.
What?
We got the house.
Oh, my God.
I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Oh, my God, we got it!
We got the house!
We're getting the house!
Oh! get in the house.
And a baby.
We're growing up.
We sure are.
So who's gonna tell them?
Not it!
Not it!
Damn it!
Oh, my God, I love this apartment.
Isn't it perfect?
I can't believe I never realized how great it is.
Well, that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
It's amazing.
You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom.
Oh, look, there's Monica and Chandler.
Hey!
Hey, you guys!
Hey!
Chandler and Monica!
Chandler and Monica!
Oh, my God!
Chandler and Monica!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my eyes!
My eyes!
Phoebe!
Phoebe!
Oh, okay!
It's okay!
It's okay!
No!
They're doing it!
I know!
I know!
I know!
You know!
Yes, I know, and Joey knows, but Ross doesn't know, so you have to stop screaming!
What's going on?
What?
What?
Nothing.
Oh, God.
We're just so excited that you might get this apartment.
Actually, it looks really good.
It looks pretty good.
Get in here.
Come on.
Let's just put one more hand, just one more hand.
No, no, no more.
I cannot lose another dime.
I'm serious this time.
In fact, look, there's, uh, I want to give you something, okay?
And let me give it to you now before I pawn it for cups money.
I want you to have the big white dog as a kind of a you know, like a thank you for being such a great roommate.
I can't take the big white dog.
You love it.
It's him, not it.
What if I bought it from you, you know?
And then your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say 1500.
Wait a second, I see what you're trying to do here.
You're trying to give me money again.
When did I try to give you money?
Before, over there with the bills.
You tried to give me charity, I said no, you dropped it.
Okay, then we had a nice last night together.
We had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money.
Now, out of the blue, you'd start with the charity thing again.
I'm just trying to help you out, OK?
I want to make sure that you're OK.
I will be OK.
Look, Chandler, you got to get it out of your head that I can't take care of myself, OK?
Look, I'm not going to miss you helping me out with money.
The only thing that I'm going to miss is you.
And now the dog.
And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first.
Phoebe, what are you doing here?
I need to talk to you.
It's pretty urgent.
It's about Monica and Chandler.
Oh, my God.
Of course.
Would you please excuse me for a moment?
Do you know each other's hometowns?
Why don't you... What's going on?
Well, um, not much.
But I was just thinking that, since those guys just got engaged, that maybe it'd be nice if they had some privacy, you know.
So could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Um, okay.
Yeah, sure.
But what's wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Nothing.
Why?
Phoebe, you said it was urgent.
Oh, yeah, it is.
I'm going to the movies, and it starts in, like, five minutes.
Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so rude.
Does anyone want to come to the movies?
Well, Lawson, he said that you were looking for a new place.
Oh, yeah.
Hopefully across the street.
If certain Dutch people would just let go.
I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
But, Joey, I have to go.
There's no room for a baby here.
No room?
It's a baby.
It's, like, this big.
You know, you could put it over here.
Or we could put it right here.
Oh, it's cute, right?
Or we could put it over here.
You wouldn't even notice it.
Where's the baby?
Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it.
I mean, a baby changes everything.
They cry all the time.
I mean, imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around.
I could use a challenge.
It's getting pretty easy.
Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I can't do that to you.
I mean, it would disrupt your entire life.
Just... I love living with you so much.
You know, I just wish things didn't have to change.
I know.
You know, I blame Ross for this.
I do, too, a little bit.
I'm gonna miss you.
You're the hottest roommate I ever had.
Okay, please be careful with that.
It was my grandmother's.
Be careful.
Thank you.
If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing.
Wow.
I know.
It seems smaller somehow.
Has it always been purple?
Look around you guys.
This was your first home.
And it was a happy place.
Filled with love.
And laughter.
But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal.
Hey, do you realize that at one time or another, we all lived in this apartment?
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Uh, I haven't.
What about that summer during college that you lived with Grandma and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Do you realize we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
Oh, honey, I forgot.
I promised Trigger that we'd leave our keys.
Oh, OK.
I guess this is it.
Yeah.
I guess so.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
It's going to be OK.
Well, do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
We got some time.
OK, should we get some coffee?
Sure.
Where?
