Hello and welcome to Super Great Kids Stories.
Wise tales from storytellers around the world which will make you laugh and sometimes cry.
Recommended for ages 5 to 105.
I'm Kim and I love stories.
Today's story is The Old Woman Up the Hill and it's from the north of England where I come from.
And how are all you super great story fans today?
I'm tired but happy because I'm fresh back from a glorious Stealing Thunder storytelling festival in the UK's Lake District.
And we met many owlets and story fans there, which is always such a good feeling.
It's a bit like meeting family who you haven't seen for a while.
So a very quick hello to some of you who came.
Hello to Mikael from Bracknell in the UK.
And to Miriam and Aniran in North Wales.
And to Darcy, Florence and Beatrice and baby Eliza from Northamptonshire.
And to Oscar from Malaysia, whose mum is from Poland.
And to Rowan and Finn, who came all the way from Minnesota in the US.
And to all of you who came, thank you.
It was lovely to celebrate stories and Swedish Midsummer with you.
My second reason to be cheerful is that we have a new storyteller to introduce you to.
Her name is Lucy Lil.
She's from South London and we met her at the Storytelling Festival, where she recorded our monster story, which we'll be playing for you today.
And just before we settle down to hear her tale, I have a little challenge for you.
We've been looking at trickster stories.
Everyone loves Anansi, that spidery rascal.
How many Anansi stories can you think of?
Here's some clues.
Soup, tree, drum. pot, chest, five and tiger.
See how many you can remember.
Ready?
Off you go.
Hello super great grown-ups.
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Hello, super great kids.
I'm back.
Did you remember some Anansi stories?
Here's a few.
Anansi and the hot pepper soup.
Anansi and the tree with a face.
Anansi and the drum of common sense.
Anansi and the magic pot.
Anansi and the chest of stories.
Anansi and the number 500.
And a Nancy and Tiger Fat.
And there are plenty more.
I wonder if you have a favourite?
Right now, it's time to give a very warm welcome to storyteller Lucy Lil.
Little warning this story has got a monster in it, but it's only a story monster, so don't you worry.
Hello Super Great Kids.
Thank you very much for listening.
My name is Lucy Lil.
I'm a storyteller from South East London, but today I'm at the Stealing Thunder Festival in beautiful Cumbria and I'm very happy to share a story with you.
And this story happens I think in the north, north of England.
I was trying to remember where I heard this story and then it came to me.
There's a great Scottish storyteller called Shona Cowie, and I think I might have heard her tell this story at the Storytelling Festival Beyond the Border.
So very big thanks to Shona.
There was once an old woman and she had a good life.
She lived high up in the hills in her own little cottage.
But her daughter worried about her.
Her daughter lived down the hill in the town in a nice safe house with a good strong front door.
And her daughter was always trying to get her mum to come and live closer.
But the old woman just wouldn't.
And one year, as autumn was moving into winter and the air was getting colder and the wind was icier, the daughter took her mum to one side and she said look mum, come on, this is the year.
You've got to move down here.
It is going to be so cold when the snow comes in your cottage.
And the old woman said, I'm not worried about that.
I've got a nice warm fireplace.
And her daughter said, but what will you do for food, mother, when you are snowed in?
I'm not worried about food.
I've got my winter cabbages.
Well, mother, what will you do if a monster comes to call?
You know as well as I do, there is no such thing as monsters.
And we all know that, right?
So it snowed.
And the old woman.
She was so happy and content in her little cottage with a roaring fire and a nice warm cup of tea.
But one evening she heard something outside her door a crunch crunch, crunch of footsteps on the snow and then a loud knock knock, knock at her door.
And when she opened it well, no one was more surprised than she was to find there was a monster standing outside.
A huge, seven foot, green skinned, big, snotty nosed, long clawed, hairy monster.
And the monster looked at the old woman with his red eyes. and said, I'm a monster.
Can I come in?
And the old woman said, yes, you can come in.
And so the monster had to stoop low to get through the door, and he pad pad, padded across the old woman's front room and sat down in her best chair in front of the fire.
And then he stretched out his long hairy green legs and wiggled his toes in front of the roaring flames.
And the old woman, perched on a stool next to him and sipped her tea after a while, said you don't seem very scared of me, i'm a monster, you know.
The old woman said no, i know, you are very monstrous and you are very scary.
Honestly, you are one of the three scariest things.
Three scariest things.
Three scariest things.
What could possibly be scarier than me?
And the thing is, we're all scared of different things, right?
Some people are scared of the dark.
Some people are scared of spiders.
I found out today that some people are frightened of cheese.
The old woman said, well, I'll tell you.
But you'll only laugh and you'll think I'm very silly.
Go on, said the monster.
Tell me.
Well, and a little spark glinted in the old woman's eyes.
She said, there are two things that I find truly terrifying.
Now don't laugh.
The first is biscuits or cookies.
And the scariest of them all for me is a chocolate digestive.
And a chocolate digestive in case you don't know is a plain cookie with a layer of chocolate on top, and they are best eaten dunked into a nice hot cup of tea.
Chocolate digestives are particularly terrifying to me.
Oh, said the monster.
I see.
And what is even more terrifying than a chocolate digestive?
Well, the scariest thing of all.
The thing that if I were to encounter it, if I were to have it and hold it in my hands, it would surely stop my heart and I would fall down.
Dead is gold.
Oh, said the monster.
That is very strange, but, you know, it takes all sorts to make a world.
Are you scared of anything? said the old woman.
I mean, I'm sure you can't be.
You are far too scary to be scared of anything else.
Oh, well, actually, there is something.
And, you know, you have been honest with me, so I will be honest with you.
I am...
I don't like to shout about it, but I am terrified of cabbages.
Oh, I see.
Well, interesting, isn't it?
We're all so different.
And then the monster stood up from his chair.
He looked down at the woman and he said, I'm not going to eat you today because...
You've been quite a good host, but I'm going to come back tomorrow and I'm almost certainly going to eat you then.
So make sure you say your prayers tonight.
And then he left, slamming the door shut behind him, crunch, crunch, crunching off into the snow.
Well, the old woman washed up her teacup, turned out the lights, put out the fire, went to bed, but she did not sleep.
She spent the night thinking very, very hard.
And the next day, when it was light, she pulled on her boots, she put on her coat, she went out into her garden and she collected every single one of her winter cabbages and there were lots.
Her arms were full of them.
She was dropping them.
There were so many, and when she pulled them all up, she lined them all the way around her house, she put them all the way along her windowsill, she put them all the way along the door and when she had finished, She went inside, she lit the fire, she made herself a nice cup of tea and she waited.
And the winter sun went down early and it wasn't long before there was the crunch crunch, crunch of monstrously big feet across the snow.
But then there was a.
I'm gonna get you for this.
And then the sound of the monster running very quickly in the opposite direction.
Well, that was that.
Then, the next day, the old woman did not light her fire, even though it was bitterly cold.
She just put another jumper on instead.
And when the sun went down nice and early, because it was the middle of winter, she was ready.
She was not surprised to hear in the distance the crunch, crunch, crunching.
But then the crunch, crunch, crunch stopped.
And she heard the sound of an enormous beastly creature jumping from the snow and landing slap bang in the middle of her roof.
She felt the timbers creak.
And then she heard the monster slither across her roof. and shout down her chimney.
Get ready.
I'm going to pay you back.
You're going to be so scared.
The old woman put an empty basket in the fireplace and called back up the chimney.
Oh, oh, I'm very scared already.
I can't imagine what might happen next.
But you probably can.
What happened next was there was a shaking and a rattling, and then down the chimney fell many many, many chocolate digestives, all in a heap in the basket.
And the old woman cried out, oh, oh, no.
Oh, this is very, very scary.
I don't know what I will do.
And then she reached into the basket, took one and had a little munch.
She took that basket away and replaced it with another.
And then from down the chimney, say your prayers, woman.
This is going to finish you off.
And then there was a clinking and a clanking and a shower of golden coins rained down the chimney and into the basket.
And the old woman screamed up the chimney.
Oh, I'm so scared.
Oh, I think I'm dying.
Yeah, I'm dead.
Yeah, I'm dead.
And on the rooftop.
The monster gave an evil laugh and then leapt off the roof back onto the snow and was never seen again.
The old woman poured all of the gold coins into a bag.
And the next day she said goodbye to her little cottage in the hills.
She walked back down into town and she used the money to buy a nice safe, semi-detached house round the corner from her daughter.
And the rest of her life was happy, long and full of biscuits.
Oh, thank you so much, Lucy, for sharing that stonker of a story.
What a lovely ending too.
And here's my question.
What would you do if a monster came knocking at your door?
Would you have moved to be closer to your family at the bottom of the hill?
Or would you prefer to stay living out in the wilds, where adventure can come knocking at your door any day?
Fancy being scared of cabbages.
I wonder if there's anything that you're scared of?
Cabbages?
Wolves?
Caterpillars?
Maybe you could draw us a picture of that seven foot green skinned big, snotty nose, long clawed, hairy monster with green legs and red eyes.
Or you could draw your own imaginary monster and then tell a story about it.
Send us your monster pictures for Story Owl to post, and you might even get a mention on the podcast as the artist who drew the picture of the week.
And we'll post all your pictures on our Facebook page and our Instagram picture gallery.
Send them to facebookcom forward slash super great kids stories, or to our website supergreatkidstoriescom.
And now it's time to say hello to some owlets who've recently joined our storytelling club.
So let's spread our wings and fly around the world with StoryOwl to meet them.
Let's begin in Vacaville in California, where Crosby, who is six, and three-year-old Xander listen every day on the way to and from school.
Crosby loves how tadpoles lost their tails and the story Troll Ale.
And Xander's favourites are The Gingerbread Man and Ratoncito Perez.
Across now to Annapolis in the US state of Maryland, where Violet Rose just turned six last week.
I hope you had a lovely birthday, Violet Rose.
Her favourites are Anansi and The Baba Yaga Stories, and Anything Told by Jason Buck.
And hello, too, to Silas Jeremiah, who just turned four.
Ooh, a birthday bonanza week in your family.
He's a fan of Jason, too, and the ghost of the bloody finger.
And over to Europe, now to Antwerp in Belgium, to say hello to Owlet David, who is eight, and Amy, who is almost six.
They've been listening for four years.
Their favourite is The Old Woman and the Pumpkin, also known as Stick Woman.
A cracking story, I agree.
Down to Australia now to greet Owlets, Jigme, who's four, and Sonam, who's ten.
They like Jason Buck stories, especially The Gingerbread Man.
And back to the United States where eight-year-old Jack, who usually lives in Topeka Kansas, remembers that the first story he heard was The Two Dragons.
His favourites now are The Laughing Prince and Curupira from Brazil.
And off to Washington State, where Mireille, who's six, especially enjoys the scary stories.
She listens with her little brother Zeppelin.
And now let's greet twin sisters Evie and Isla, who became owlets for their ninth birthdays.
They've been listening for over three years as part of their bedtime routine and they're very excited to listen to more scary stories.
Their favourites include Baba Yaga, Ruby Red Lips and Eggshell Soup with Kate Corkery.
Hello next to Iris, who is five, and Luca, who is nine.
They've recently moved from Belgium to Kenya and listen on the drive to school and at bedtime.
Iris and Luca really enjoy Jason Buck's amazing sound effects and great voices.
Trollale is possibly their favourite and, of course, they love Wangari, since they live in the same city.
Other favourite storytellers include Toop and Kate, Corkery and Daniel Morden and all the Baba Yaga stories.
Iris has sent us a great picture of Baba Yaga.
Thank you, Iris.
Alice in Singapore became an owlet for her seventh birthday.
Alice has been listening to the stories for three years now and her favourite new story is The Two Silly Witches.
Heading now to Salem in Oregon in the United States to greet Eli, who is eight and a half.
He really likes a Nancy and the hot pepper soup and the old woman and the fat pumpkin.
Heading up to Seattle in Washington.
Now to greet Owlet's Margo, who is five, and Nellie, who is one, who listen to the stories on their way to and from school.
Their favourite is The Ghost of the Bloody Finger.
And let's fly east across the Atlantic now to London to greet six and a half year old Owlet Emmett.
Most recently, Emmett loved The Two Silly Witches.
She's also a die hard Jason Buck fan and particularly loves The Old Lady and the Pig.
Emmett likes drawing the stories and sent us a beautiful picture of Puss in Boots.
And a big hoot out to eight-year-old Ronan from Bonny Doon in California.
Ronan is at the end of second grade and listens to stories daily in the mornings and at night, before bed and on long drives.
Ronan now likes to write his own stories.
Hurrah for you!
He loves the super great scary stories the most, especially The Boy Who Drew Cats, a very scary one.
Across to Cornelius in North Carolina now to greet Owlet's Stella, who turned seven last week.
Hope you had a happy day, Stella.
And her nine-year-old brother, Grayson, who listens at bedtime.
One of their favourites is Eggshell Soup.
And their favourite storytellers include Toop and Kate Corkery.
And up to Hudson in New York now to greet Owlet, Iris, who is eight.
Iris sent an excellent picture of Gulbahar, the Iranian version of the Rapunzel fairy tale.
Iris sits on the couch and draws while listening to stories.
She's filled several sketchbooks with her listening pictures.
That sounds marvellous, Iris.
She also makes up her own stories.
Hurrah!
And I'm told that Iris is named after the goddess of the rainbow, who is the daughter of water and wonder and a messenger of the gods.
That's it for Owlet Welcomes this week.
We really appreciate your support.
More stories next week.
And our Pick of the Week pitcher goes to roll the drums six-year-old Ayla, who lives in Lörrach in Germany.
Thanks for sending us your brilliant picture of the Crab King.
I love all the bright colours you've used and the expression on the Crab King's face really showing how cross he is, with the big cloud of mosquitoes buzzing over him as he tries to sleep in his pond.
And thanks to all of you who are subscribing to our podcast.
We really appreciate those of you who feel you can support us.
If you subscribe on Patreon, you get a choice of two tiers three pounds a month, which is less than four dollars, or six pounds a month.
That's about eight US dollars.
And for that you'll get a shout out plus advert free, plus over 50 bonus stories and all the super great scary stories.
Plus, you'll get access to our Super Great Kids Stories Express, which cuts straight to the story.
Great for listening to stories back to back.
If you subscribe on Apple, it's £6 a month and you get all the perks.
Visit our website for more details at supergreatkidstories.com.
That's it for now.
I'm going to settle down and do some story hunting.
And remember, you'll get a discount off our book if you pre-order before September 11th.
Go to our website and look for the link in the news section.
Thank you in advance.
Keep telling your stories and singing those songs.
Have a happy week.
This podcast was produced by Kim Normanton and David Smith at Wardour Studios in fabulous Fitzrovia in London.
