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Hello, hello. Welcome to Radioheadspace and happy Friday Eve.
It's Dora here. So I want to start this episode by asking when was the last time you received feedback?
And how do you typically respond to receiving feedback?
For myself, I've been doing a mindfulness teacher training, and an expectation for us as students is to provide each other with feedback, feedback on our guidance as meditation teachers, on our presentations, and how we're able to effectively engage and interact with participants when they share their experience.
Now I teach mindfulness for a living, so you would think receiving feedback on something I do all the time would be a breeze.
But, actually the first time it was my turn to receive constructive criticism, I felt this familiar pit of anxiety in my stomach. So it made me think about a few things.
One, what happens in our brains and bodies that can make receiving feedback so dreadful?
And two, how can we learn to be more open to this feeling?
In my search for answers, I realize that our bodies can't discern when we're facing a threat or a reward. It's perceived the same way we feel sadness, anger, jealousy.
Time and time again, our fight -or -flight response is activated.
So this is what happens when we receive feedback or a critique.
Our amygdala, the part of the brain that processes emotions, is hijacked and we shut down in order to avoid the threat.
So before doing our practicum, we also had to participate in a teacher training intensive.
And this begins the journey of learning to receive feedback from peers and mentors.
We do something called teach backs where we have the opportunity to guide a meditation or teach on a topic and the participants get to give you a sandwich which is feedback structured with two nice things as the bread and the constructive feedback which would be the meat or the veggies.
Keep in mind that as the evaluators, you're not critiquing whether the practice and guidance was good or bad, but how it made you feel.
I will say it's been a while since I've been graded on my work, so at that moment when I had to wait for someone to give me their feedback, I felt sheer panic rush throughout my body.
But what helped me to stay open in that moment was remembering that this feedback is well intentioned.
It's not to harm us or to criticize us but to make us competent teachers.
And I think this is what we can forget especially when emotions are involved.
Constructive feedback doesn't make us less of a person or mean that we're incapable or unable.
In fact, it's really up to us how we relate to receiving feedback and what we do with it.
In that moment when I realized that my classmates really just want the best for me and we're all in the same boat, it helped me to feel more open to even asking for feedback when it wasn't even being given.
If we desire to evolve, constructive feedback can be a wonderful tool to support us on our journey.
I will say that something that has helped me tremendously is paying attention to how my body feels in those moments.
Usually, there is a sense of contraction and tightness in my shoulders and chest. So I've been working on taking a moment to readjust my posture, whether it's rolling my shoulders down and back, sitting up straight, and taking a few deep breaths, just so I can create a bit of space in my body.
And that helps my body to signal to my mind that I'm present and open to receiving feedback in a way that doesn't feel threatening.
Now, I will say that not all feedback we receive will be helpful.
But I came across an article that shared an acronym that can help us filter through what can be useful and what can be discarded.
If you'd like to see the article you can find it in the show notes.
And if you need some help with anxiety surrounding feedback, I highly recommend checking out my friend and colleague K Asanga's meditation on managing anxious moments in the Headspace app.
I'll leave it there for today, and I hope to see you back here soon.
Bye for now. you
