NPR. Daryl Fairweather's first job after her economics PhD was at a small consulting firm.
It was a lot of work but her boss was complimentary.
He called me a workhorse and he said it with a smile on his face.
Haha, okay. That's a little ominous.
Double inch compliment.
Yeah. After several months of being a so -called workhorse, Daryl said she started to feel exhausted.
I'd be working like up to 100 hours a week and - What?
100 hours a week? Yes, it was a tough deadline.
That sounds unhealthy.
Yes. I mean, it wasn't like that every week, but sometimes it got to be quite a lot.
And I think that all that stress, it just felt like I should be getting something more in return for how much I was working.
Darryl had read Sheryl Sandberg's famous book on women in the workforce, Lean In.
In fact, she was going to a lean -in circle support group for young women professionals.
The main message? Women should negotiate more.
So, she decided to lean in herself, try to get a pay raise.
This is The Indicator from Planet Money, I'm Darien Woods.
And I'm Adrian Mar. Today on the show, bargaining.
Economist Daryl Fairweather just released a whole book on negotiation.
It's called Hate the Game, Economic Cheat Codes for Life, Love and Work.
And getting better at negotiation is important in so many aspects of life, whether it's getting a raise at work or buying a house through to global trade deals.
We hear Daryl Fairweather's negotiation lessons learned from her experience and from Beyoncé.
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Daryl Fairweather's big lesson on negotiating started that day she asked for her raise.
I remember being in my office like trying to psych myself up to go and ask for a raise.
Like I wasn't happy at the job, so I was really just trying to psych myself up.
like, well, it's either this or you quit.
And in her boss's office, Darryl talked about all the extra tasks she's been taking on, how she's been performing at a more senior level.
And he said no, and that raises will be negotiated at the end of the year.
That's the policy. In her mind, Darryl was giving her boss a take it or leave it deal, and he left it.
I walked out of that pretty dejected.
Darryl was trying to figure out why she couldn't get that raise.
She thought back to a chapter of late 1990s R &B history.
That is kind of the perfect example, Darryl thought, of the pitfalls of this lean in message of always be trying to negotiate for more.
Yeah, so I think one of the most famous negotiation fails that I know of is what happened with Destiny's Child.
At the time, Destiny's Child was a quartet.
Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, Latavia Roberson, and Latoya Luckett.
The four piece broke through with their first number one single, Bills, Bills, Bills.
Beyonce was starting to emerge as the breakout star, getting all the interviews, getting all the attention, and they concluded that it was the management Matthew Knowles, which is Beyonce's father, that was the reason that Beyonce was getting all this preferential treatment.
So Le tavian Latoya came to the group and said it's either us or it's Matthew Knowles like she did an ultimatum.
So it take it or leave it deal just like you had in your head when you went to your boss.
Yes, but that's where they made the miscalculation about what Beyonce and Matthew actually saw for the vision of the group, which was Beyonce being the breakout star and that they were more playing this role as backup singers.
What Matthew had in his mind was Diana Ross and the Supremes, Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5, a history of artists who had launched super successful solo careers off the back of a musical group.
I think Matthew Knowles actually had the economics right there because what oftentimes happens in entertainment or other industries that rely on popularity is that there are these superstars.
Soterios Johnson And so what happened is Beyonce and Kelly Rowland decided to stick with Matthew Knowles while Latavia and Latoya found themselves out of the group.
Heather Teysko I felt empathy for that situation because I that's that's what I was as an entry -level employee.
I was just a backup singer and a sense like I didn't have the standing to go and be negotiating or issuing ultimatums. Daryl says we can learn a lot from what Latavia and LaToya and she herself missed, and she has four main takeaways.
First, try to identify your negotiating partner's objective.
Don't be like Latavia and Latoya.
Don't be like me and just assume what your opponent wants.
Try to really dig in and understand what they want out of you.
Daryl thought back to that workhorse comment her boss gave her when she started like what is a workhorse really mean?
They get the job done, no matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it is, and they don't complain.
That's what a workhorse does, and that's not who I am.
I'll work hard, but I will raise concerns if I have them.
The goal of Daryl's boss was to have employees who didn't complain.
The very act of Daryl unexpectedly negotiating went against her boss' goals for his workplace.
In hindsight, maybe she should have waited until the regular annual pay discussions, or really maybe she should have gone to another job entirely.
The second lesson Daryl says is to scrutinize whether your negotiating partner might be withholding information from you.
You know Matthew Knowles he might not have been exactly lying to Latavia and LaToya but I think he probably gave them reason to believe that they were going to be equal members of Destiny's Child when really it was Beyonce who was the star.
And my boss, I mean, he wasn't outright lying to me either, but I felt like I was signing up for a job where I would have different opportunities and different job environment than what I got.
Third lesson, and this one's a classic for a good reason, is to do research on how much you are really worth in the market.
Just gathering information in general is a good approach. Just understanding what competitive pay rates are, how hard it would be for them to hire someone to replace you is a good thing to understand, all of that can kind of help you understand how the negotiation might play out.
In a pay negotiation, maybe that would be by seeing what other people at your experience level are getting paid at other places.
One way to do this, and you can think of this as the fourth tip, if you're going to ratchet up the temperature by making an ultimatum with your employer, you could actually have another offer from somewhere else.
It's concrete information and also a backup option if your negotiating partner calls your Bluff.
It's typically better to go out and find your next job offer before you make that ultimatum.
Daryl says this can be especially important for women and minorities who are kind of in this bind where people may underestimate their worth and yet by negotiating that can be interpreted as aggressive.
If women are perceived as being aggressive they get penalized more than men tend to.
Also just for any any group of people that are perceived to have worse options tend to do worse in negotiations because whoever they are negotiating against just assumes that whatever they give them is the best that they're going to get out there.
So signalling what your outside options are, that your outside options are good, is a way for women and minorities to kind of counteract that and to go in armed with information so that you don't let somebody else tell you how much you're worth.
When the words of Beyonce knows you need to get information That's exactly right Okay ladies now, let's get information This episode was produced by Lily kiros with engineering by Quaysie Lee It was fact -checked by Sierra Juarez, K can cannon edits the show, and the indicator's reproduction of NPR.
