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Hello, this is 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English.
I'm Sam. And I'm Neil.
Recently, I met up with an old school friend who I hadn't seen for years.
We talked for hours.
It sounds like you had a good chinwag.
A long and pleasant conversation between friends, which is great because in this programme we're talking about talking.
We'll be discussing conversations – the exchange of ideas, thoughts and feelings that happens when people talk to each other.
And as usual, we'll be learning some new vocabulary as well.
With the rise of Twitter and social media, which encourages us to give our opinion on a subject without always listening in return, some think the art of conversation is being lost. But luckily, there are still millions of us who love to talk, chat, chinwag and chatter away!
In fact, in 2012 a competition in Latvia broke the world record for the longest telephone conversation.
So, Neil, my question is this!
How long did this record breaking conversation last. Was it… a, 24 hours and 4 minutes, b, 54 hours and 4 minutes, or c, 84 hours and 4 minutes?
Hmmm. I'll guess a, 24 hours and 4 minutes, after which they probably fell asleep.
OK, Neil. I'll reveal the correct answer later in the programme.
During a long career, DJ and BBC radio presenter Nihal Atharanyika has had conversations with hundreds of people.
Now he's used these experiences to write a book entitled Let's Talk, How to Have Better Conversations.
Here Nehal tells another radio presenter, Michael Rosen of BBC Radio 4's Word of Mouth, about the influence of his mother who also loved talking to people in her job as a nurse.
Well, it gave me the sense that you are enriched by listening, and this was, of course, pre social media which is, of course, encouraged us to project, to transmit more than receive.
So it meant that I guess I was conscious of the experiences of others and wanted to try and understand them.
Also, partially, Michael, it was a survival instinct because I was a little brown boy in a predominantly white school, a state school, in the 1980s.
For Nihal, good conversation involves listening as much as speaking.
By listening we find out things about the person we're talking to, which in turn, help us understand ourselves.
This is why Nihal says we are enriched by listening.
We're improved by having something else added.
As a British -Asian boy growing up in a white community, Nihal also thinks conversation was a way for him to make friends and find protection.
He says having conversations was a survival instinct – the human instinct to do something in a dangerous situation that will keep them safe from harm.
Nihal sees an important difference between listening simply to reply, and listening to understand.
When we listen to reply, we're thinking about the next thing we want to say, more than trying to understand the other person's point of view.
Listening to understand, on the other hand, helps build bridges – improve relationships between people who are very different or do not like each other.
Here's Nohal again in conversation with BBC Radio 4's Word of Mouth.
So, conversation can build bridges and it is proven through history that conversation has and that conversation can be seen as an art form.
And that's one of the things I want us to understand.
It's not just tittle tattle, it's not just shouting at each other on social media, It's not two politicians talking over each other.
Good conversation brings people together, unlike tittle -tattle – talk about other people's lives that is usually unkind, disapproving or untrue.
And good conversation involves taking turns, not talking over someone, trying to silence people by talking more loudly, forcefully and persistently than them.
Hopefully, Nihal's tips can help us all have better conversations, encounter new ideas and make friends.
So, Sam, did you do any of these things when you met up with your old -school friend?
I think so! We both listened to each other.
There was no tittle -tattle, but a little bit of gossip.
Before we knew it, a couple of hours had passed.
But not as much time as those record -breaking telephone conversations I mentioned earlier.
Ah yes, in your question you asked how long the world's longest telephone conversation lasted.
I guessed it was an incredible 24 hours and 4 minutes.
Was I right? Well, Neil, I'm afraid that was the wrong answer.
In fact, the record -breaking conversation lasted 54 hours and 4 minutes.
About the same as 540 programmes of 6 minutes English.
Wow! OK, let's recap the vocabulary we've learned from this programme on the art of good conversations – starting with chinwag – a long and pleasant conversation between friends.
When something is enriched, it's improved by having something else added to it.
The survival instinct is the basic instinct in humans and animals to do something in a dangerous situation that will keep them alive.
If you build bridges, you improve relationships between people who are very different or do not like each other.
Tittle -tattle is talk about other people's lives that is usually unkind, disapproving or untrue.
And finally, if you talk over someone, you silence or drown them out by talking more loudly than them.
That's the end of our conversation but remember to join us soon for more trending topics and useful vocabulary.
Bye for now! Goodbye!
