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Who is your favorite teacher?
If some girls grow up wanting to be like Barbie or Wonder Woman, I would be proud to grow up one day and be like you.
It's like the warmth of when your dad comes home.
Ay.
Ay.
Public school early.
Yeah.
Do you have tissues?
Do you want to actually get better?
A love letter to our teachers.
Hello and welcome to Hot Pursuit, a podcast about creating conversations where nothing is off limits.
This podcast is produced by Asian Boss Girl.
I'm Em.
I'm Jen.
And today we are talking about our favorite teacher.
We wanted to take a trip down memory lane and, in the spirit of a little bit of nostalgia, we decided to write a letter to our favorite teacher and share some of the lessons that they have bestowed upon us in our earlier years.
So it's a love letter to our favorite teachers, and we hope that this will invite you to reflect on your favorite teachers or coaches or mentors in your life.
If you are a teacher, this is a glimpse into how you can affect students and A very sincere thank you for the job that you guys are doing in society, because you're underpaid and it is one of the most important jobs on planet.
This is going to be a weepy episode.
Yeah.
One of the reasons we actually picked this is because there's so many like a letter to your ex, a letter to your mom, a letter to your blah, blah, blah.
Teachers are the unsung heroes in a lot of ways.
And a lot of times we're so young that we don't even know how to appreciate them in their fullness at the time.
So this is our way.
Love letters to our teachers.
Yeah.
And by the time we do come to appreciate them.
We haven't been able to talk to them in years, decades.
Yeah.
So we each wrote letters.
I see the tears welling over.
You see like the glistening eyes.
I know.
As I was writing my letter last night, I was crying.
And my roommate was like, are you okay?
I'm like, yeah, I'm just working.
This is just work.
So who is your favorite teacher?
Set the stage for us.
My favorite teacher is from high school.
I had her for nearly all four years of high school.
And I went to boarding school, which I'll explain later.
But she was also my housemaster in our dorms too.
She knew and saw every area of my life.
You had a master.
Yeah.
That's a term I've only read of in books.
So she was like a stand-in parent for me.
Oh, wow.
What about, who is your favorite teacher?
My favorite teacher is also a master.
He was my Taekwondo master from when I did Taekwondo when I was like 9 to 16.
You always speak so fondly of your Taekwondo years.
Yeah.
I ran into him at a Jason's Deli not too long ago and my heart exploded and I was like .
She's only ever said that about her ex.
Yeah, I haven't been back.
I haven't seen him in a while, but he has a special place in my heart.
If you didn't know, she's a black belt.
Second degree.
That's why I look like this.
That's why I chose my outfit today.
It looks kind of like, not really, but... On theme.
Yes, on theme.
But make it fashion.
Yes, yes.
Taekwondo, but fashion.
Can't wait to hear.
How about you?
Who's your favorite teacher?
Mine is also in high school, like UJ, and he was my world-lit teacher.
Yeah, I only had him for one year.
You had yours for four.
Wow, one year.
He must have been really impressive.
Made a huge splash.
Yeah, we'll talk about it.
All right.
Oh, that was a good trailer.
I want to watch the movie.
Okay, who should go first?
I go first.
Yes.
I'm so excited to hear this.
I know.
Okay.
Get the tissue ready.
Do you have tissues?
Yeah, there we go.
Okay.
Oh no.
Okay, I'm getting emotional.
A love letter to our teachers, starting with Jennifer.
All right.
So, dear teacher, When I think of you, the first thing I always see in my mind is the sparkle you always seem to have in your eye, like Santa Claus, but better.
It was always as if you had a little secret and you're about to tell me at any moment.
The way your face lit up every time you greeted me or saw me on campus made me feel like I really mattered.
And in the volatile years of high school, I needed that more than I even realized at the time.
I think of all the times we were up late chatting in the dorm room, common room.
I remember so clearly just how present you were in asking me questions and patiently listening to me babble on about the tumultuous high school happenings of the day.
You really listened to me.
I think about how I got to see you live so many areas of your life beyond just being my teacher.
Who you were as a community member, as a passionate historian, as an activist, as a joyful yogi and knitting lover, as a generous chef, as a present mother and wife to your family and as a faithful mentor to my friends, and the list goes on and on.
In many ways, you were one of the few female role models I saw during the formative years of my life that I really looked up to and I aspire to be like.
If some girls grow up wanting to be like Barbie or Wonder Woman, I would be proud to grow up one day and be like you.
The thing I admire most about you was how you showed me how tough love and tender love could coexist together.
Thank you for always caring for me in the purest way possible, prioritizing my growth over my comfort, because you knew that it was best for me.
There are two moments that I think about most.
The first one is a freshman fall end of term feedback session where you shot me straight and gave me really real feedback that helped me grow.
And because of that, you helped me learn to speak, articulate my thoughts.
You helped me find my voice when I didn't even know to want it myself.
The sophomore spring library fiasco.
You really trusted me when I was scared and waiting to be reprimanded.
But you were one of the first adults to trust me when I didn't think I deserved it, and you showed me grace when I didn't know what that was at all.
I wish I could have told you all these things in the moment, but my high school self was truly too far at my own ass to realize all the ways that you cared for me so tenderly and so fully.
So now I get to tell you and share it with the internet too.
I hope that you know that this is your legacy to have shaped me so meaningfully and all of the hundreds and hundreds of other Gens out there.
Your imprints shine bright on all of us.
Wow.
Yay.
My eyes are wet.
I know.
You had her for four years?
I had her for four years.
So she, what was her function?
She was my, so freshman year.
We have one teacher who was with us the whole year, instead of changing from class to class.
And she was my freshman year history teacher essentially for the full year.
And then we are broken out into like smaller sub dorms.
And she was the person that managed that dorm with her and her husband, who I was also very close with.
And they were basically like stand-in parents.
At the end of the day, they would be there waiting for you to hear about all of the happenings.
They knew all of your friends.
And being so far from home and to remove from home and like not having that stability.
They were kind of essentially that safe place for me to land.
And boarding school was kind of like a very mixed bag for me because it was a very tight-knit environment with a lot of like, very established like cultural values and whatnot.
So I often felt really out of place and they were really there for me and she was really always like the place that I knew that I could be more authentic, more real, and she kind of saw parts of me and unlocked parts of me and always like listened and cared for me when i think i really needed it.
I like don't think i could have survived high school without her, and without her husband too.
Yeah, you are someone who loves history and uh, we love to travel together, and so i love telling people the stories about when we are on a train or just going from city to city, and jen is watching historical documentaries and telling me about, like the, the history of the country, and i'm over here just like wanting to shop.
But Jen's admiration for history is quite notable, and so I'm wondering how directly did she influence that interest of yours?
Yeah.
I remember there was a class specifically about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict And the way that she opened up that the whole class was about that for like three months.
And the way she opened up that topic and then was able to showcase the empathy and understanding for both sides I think really shaped my mind and how I look at many situations, even in relational conflicts now between family members, with friends.
I'm like both sides have a story that they believe that there's, like that come from history, and then are informing how they're feeling and how their views are now.
And she was a teacher that really like opened up like that part of my mind.
But I really feel like when I think about her, She's a teacher to me, but in a lot of ways she was like a stand in parent for me at a time.
So my mind goes more towards like the softer interpersonal things with her.
One of the things as a teacher that I think she really shaped in me was I went to a school where it was they really valued.
Being able to articulate your thoughts well and like.
Debate was, like the, the foundation of our classes.
And there was a lot of kids that went to private school their entire lives.
So they're very sharp.
And I came in freshman year, and I did not know how to speak.
My thoughts were really messy and chaotic.
And so I just didn't speak in class.
And so at the end of my freshman fall, she gave me feedback very clearly and directly.
And she was like you don't speak enough in class because you're probably feeling uncomfortable or you don't know what to say or how to manage in the conversation when everybody else is speaking.
But it's something that I think will be really helpful for you to work on.
And she just shot me so straight.
And I would see how she would look at me sometimes in class and be like I know you have a thought, Jen.
Nudge you a little bit.
Yeah.
And then after class too, she'd be like, that was a really good point that you made.
It's funny because we're doing a podcast now which is all just like us speaking and sharing our thoughts and ideas.
And I think a lot about how if I didn't have the ability to share my perspectives, as because of the way that she like, poured that into me, the opportunity to connect deeply with others is also severely limited.
So it's not just like, it's helpful at work or it's helpful.
It's like truly the depth of my relationships.
I think now I can attest to her helping guide and helping me find my voice when I didn't know that that was important.
I wouldn't have discovered that without her safety and encouragement.
She kind of allowed you to take the stage. and then acknowledged good job for taking the stage.
So she was like, it was like a multi-step thing.
Yeah.
And I felt starting freshman fall like very insecure because, like everyone else seems so smart and they like could voice things so clearly.
And I was like, oh my God, I don't know what to say.
I have thoughts, but like, the conversations moved along.
So I just felt really inadequate.
And so I just kind of shrunk back.
And I think her noticing that and seeing that shooting me straight give me really real feedback but also being there to like walk along the journey to that combination.
I think a lot about in like how to love in my relationships now too.
It's like give them the truth but then not leaving me there and walking it out day in and day out was really meaningful for me.
The incremental encouragement to make sure you're doing good, keep going.
Yeah.
And identifying things in me that I didn't even know were important at the time.
Didn't know what to want.
I'm like, I'll just be quiet in class.
Not to speak.
She pushed you in the pool.
Yeah.
She was like, you're going to swim.
I was like, I don't know what.
She says, you're not swimming, but you can swim.
And you're going to do it.
I just remember sitting in class because she gave me that feedback and then the following semester she was like okay, we're going to work on this.
And I just remember sitting in class so many times and, like all the other kids are like chiming in with their ideas and blah blah, blah.
And she would just catch my eye with that sparkle.
And I knew, I knew it was my cube.
She was like she would like glance, and then she would stop and be like They were being like wait, really.
And I think now you are so articulate and you know how to convey these very multilayered thoughts and opinions and and stances in such like a beautiful string and you don't like there's no pause in your thoughts and i think that's like for me.
I think that's so amazing and so, and i've always wondered where that came from too, i always thought like maybe it's like your time in corporate, which i'm sure that has honed it, but it seems like that's that's where it began.
That was the origin with with her pushing you in the Yeah.
Yeah.
She gave me this essential life skill for me to blossom, but also for me to be able to connect with people in ways that I know would not be possible without her.
And gave me pre-confidence for me before I even knew that I needed confidence in that area.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the way you see people. is how she saw you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're able to pick out weak points, but you don't point it out as like this is something weak you pointed out is like Ooh, this could be something you can work on and I can see a very bright future for you if you do work on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, so you call, you call people. to hire in that sense.
So I really see her legacy shining through just in the way you operate and the way you relate with people.
I think one of the things that you do best is you discuss nuance with clarity.
And I think nuance is something that is already really difficult to discuss, because a lot of times people can't necessarily pinpoint what the differences may be.
But it's already like a hazy topic to begin with, but then you bring such clarity to it, and I think that in and of itself is so helpful for people to hear, and so I
I can imagine her seeing you and seeing the younger version of you and all of these thoughts swirling and just a glimpse of that, and then saying I need to make sure that this girl gets her thoughts out because they're really valuable.
She would be so proud of you.
Yeah.
When was the last time you talked to her?
Uh, we texted each other like, I think like the year or two ago.
Cause she and her family just moved to where I went to college.
They would like send me photos of like your old stomping grounds and stuff.
So, um, and then we're connected on Instagram and stuff too.
Um, yeah, but I remember that sparkle and that look from her, I'm like, Oh, don't look at me.
I don't have to speak.
But one of the other things that I think a lot about with her is how, other than my parents, she was probably the first adult that like, really trusted me to be better when I might've messed up.
And I feel like I just never experienced that before in that way of an adult being like you.
Know that you did wrong.
And like, I see that too, but she's like, I trust you to go.
And next time you're gonna do it differently instead of reprimanding me.
So basically, I was canoodling with my high school boyfriend at the time at school in a library and we got caught.
And I was so scared of what she would say.
I was scared that my parents would find out.
I was like not the kid to like break the rules or get in trouble.
And so it was really terrifying for me.
And when she I just remember getting an email from her and she was just like I know you know what you did and I trust that you will do it differently next time.
And that was it.
It was so simple and it was so short, but I just felt this imparting of you, know who you are, you know what the right thing to do is and I know you're just exploring and I know you're just figuring life out right now.
But it's okay and i'm not gonna hold it against you or like or like shame you for or discipline for you.
I expected disappointment, i expected like reprimanding, and she just gave me like so much grace.
I think about that all the time because I think so much of like raising a kid or even our self-talk can be so shame-based in the language versus believing in better and trusting that they can be better.
And she was like the first adult to be like, I know you got it.
It's okay.
Yeah.
And so that really meant a lot to me too, because I just never I was like so shocking for me at the relief I felt, but also this like being called to higher and her seeing that that was innately in me and not assuming that the worst in me, I think like really meant a lot for me in a kind of volatile period of time when my parents weren't there, no one else was there.
She was like the adult.
Yeah, to show me grace for the first time.
She didn't equate your actions with your character.
She separated them and she said, I know who you are and you know who you are.
And that's a very different stance from a lot of parenting at the time where one mess up can be exploded into something so much bigger.
It could be kind of like a life sentence.
Like, oh, this is who you are as a person.
I can't believe you did that.
That's so disappointing.
You're a disappointment.
Versus next time, I know you'll do, not even do better.
What did she say?
She was like, I trust you to know what the right thing to do is next time.
Yeah.
Just acknowledgement and move on.
Yeah, and I was like, what?
It acknowledges your agency.
It acknowledges your humanity more than because I feel kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for.
And so it's easy for adults to be like to overcorrect and be like, Oh my gosh, if you do this one thing this, this might set the stage for like the rest of your life versus.
She saw this as like one incident.
Yeah, which I never experienced before.
And also like, I was probably like 13 or 14 at the time.
And I think it was the transitioning from being a kid and being treated like a kid to being treated like an adult.
And so I think she was one of the first people who could treat me like an adult, as an equal, as a full person, had an agency, but also believed the best in me when I expected the worst from myself and also expected her to believe the worst in myself.
She was like, no, you're good.
That's not who you are.
And you know what the right thing to do is.
And there wasn't more than that too.
It was just trust of like, go forth into the world because you're an adult and you're a good adult.
You are not bad, you know?
And so that really meant a lot to me too.
So simple, but such a formative experience.
Yeah, I think about that all the time now.
And I think about that in terms of raising my own kids and the difference between shame-based disciplining and parenting, and boundary setting versus calling them to higher and saying, like you know, you are better than this.
And I know you are better than this.
So go, you got it.
You know, that is my, my teacher from high school.
Yeah.
Headmaster.
Yeah.
I'm very grateful for her too, because the way that Jen has been able to change our lives and see things and kind of wade through the clouds of our own minds and call us out for who we really are has been so impactful.
Just for like.
For me, like we've had so many like tearful chats, and the way that she's able to cause like for me.
My mind is so cloudy sometimes and she's able to just like stick her hand into my brain and just like pull out the heart of it.
And I didn't think I would cry yeah, but like oh tissue tissue, tissue.
Jen is such.
I mean she, she's wearing flowers, she has her hair up in curls, but she is an unstoppable force in this world and um, she's able.
She's just been able to impact so many lives, bring clarity to so many people and set people on like a really good trajectory.
And like, for me, you've been able to like, kind of like course correct my own life.
And I never asked you to do that.
She just did it herself.
And you said something similar like, you're okay.
You know better, I trust you.
Yeah, so I'm so grateful for your teacher for setting this legacy.
I think she would be really proud that you are carrying on everything that she gave to you and you're giving that into the world.
I wouldn't have thought about it that way, but that's really beautiful actually.
Because I said I wanted to be like her.
You are like her.
Now I get to be like you, teacher.
Yeah, you collected all her rainwater, filtered it through yourself, and now you're pouring it out on other people.
I love you.
Thank you, teacher.
Thank you.
You know who you are.
I'm probably going to send this to you.
With the times that have been, this is you.
It's crazy how like one person can impact another and then the butterfly effect of like, their whole village, their whole community is actually changed by each of us.
So yeah.
Okay, so here's my letter titled letter to my teacher.
Okay, to my high school HL world lit teacher shout out any international baccalaureate kids IB program.
I'm your girl.
I'm really nervous.
Writing these letters felt like writing a vow or something.
Yeah.
Just a eulogy.
Think about all of who they are and how do you encompass that.
OK, you got it, Mads.
OK.
You can cry.
I can feel my voice quivering.
Yeah.
Okay.
As life would have it, I never envisioned myself writing this open letter to you but alas, how grateful I am to publicly honor and thank you for being the best school teacher I ever had.
You offered me more in my senior year of public high school than my entire private undergraduate and graduate experiences combined.
One thing I'm certain of, you changed my life.
You were the first teacher who inadvertently told me my ideas were worth something.
You miraculously motivated me to explore random thought trains for painfully mundane pieces of literature that were somehow deemed classics.
Despite being bored to death by the material.
I distinctly remember the feeling of tirelessly working out an idea knot for an essay, not because I connected with the literature, but because I was confident that you would actually entertain my thesis and reasoning.
Prior to your class, I was always trying to find the right answer chase, an elusive yet obvious theme that other teachers hinted at.
But it almost felt like trying to capture a firefly, simply so that my jar would produce the same golden light as everyone else's around me.
Anticlimactically.
No matter how many holes you poke in the plastic lid of the jar, the firefly ultimately suffocates and dies.
It was in your class that I understood the previous method was merely a guideline, a starting point, if you will, and that each person brought their own jar into the room with an entire color spectrum flowing out of it.
No lids, no expectations, just honest effort.
I was learning to wrestle with my own ideas and produce something compelling enough for someone to listen to.
Every point of view was valid so long as it was logically sound and infused with your heart.
Instead of catching someone's perspective, it was inviting others into your own world.
For the first time, it was almost as if my own ideas and opinions actually mattered.
You didn't only believe in me, you showed me how to get there myself.
Microcosmically, you taught me how to appreciate art.
Macrocosmically, you are teaching people how to connect with the world.
We don't keep in touch, and these realizations have come to me over the years.
But now that I am solidly an adult, I can confidently say you have deeply affected the trajectory of my life.
Now I'm on a podcast.
Sincerely, Madeline.
Good job.
Wow.
So you talked about how this teacher made you finally feel heard.
What did you feel prior to this?
Did you feel like you weren't heard by everyone?
Well, I felt like, no matter what I did, the teachers were always unsatisfied, especially in English or classes where you're analyzing these boring-ass books.
Well one, I mean, the material is so boring, but two, like they just wanted you to say something and I would never get it right.
So, like I would try and like I would ask other people like what?
Like what do you think this is supposed to be about?
I can tell you, but that's clearly not what the teacher wants to hear.
And one of my teachers actually told me like I can tell that you're motivated by getting the grade but like, not by learning.
And I mean there's probably a thread of truth in that, but I also don't think she was actually listening to what I was saying.
And then there's also the teachers that just have so many students like they don't even have the capacity to like give you know.
So it felt like trying to capture something that was elusive previously.
And I just didn't know what I was supposed to do.
I'm like, I'm reading the book.
I'm writing the essay.
It's a logical argument.
I'm following the structure.
Like I'm giving you backup.
I'm giving you research and like, I just don't know what more I'm supposed to do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think like, when I think of him, I think of like saying something in class and then him just kind of like tilting his head and being like what do you mean by that?
You pondered it.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was just a foreign concept at the time.
Because other teachers will ask that.
But I think you can tell if they're trying to correct you or if they're trying to steer you along some path or something.
Or you're participating because you just need the grade.
Yeah.
And they know that too.
Do you remember how it felt when he would ask you, what do you think about that?
Was it exciting?
Was it daunting?
Did it push you to think more than you actually would have?
Or did it feel relieving to feel like somebody else cared enough to even know what you?
Well, I've always had the thoughts.
I think he was just the first person to be genuinely curious about it.
I could tell in the way he asked that he Didn't know what I was going to say, but also wanted to know what I was going to say.
Like genuinely wanted to know.
Yes.
Yes.
And then that motivated me to like have a point of view, even if it wasn't popular, if I hadn't heard it before, or if it was opposing to his point of view, or like.
I hate this.
Like this is actually wrong because blah, blah, blah, blah, you know?
Yeah.
It was.
The class seemed to be structured more like a thought experiment versus.
I hope you can follow the rabbit trail down to the right answer.
Yes.
What class was it again?
It was world literature.
World literature.
I could not tell you a single thing that I read in that class.
I just remember lots of assignments and it was really boring, but I liked him.
Well, actually, I wouldn't even say I liked him.
I didn't dislike him.
I just never felt that way in a lit class.
He made you feel heard.
He made you feel like your opinions were valid.
Yeah.
And respected them.
Yeah.
Valuable.
And I think previously.
I've always had the thoughts, but I just didn't think that they needed to be let out because they were not what the teacher wanted to hear.
And that's what I love about you.
I think you have so many interesting thoughts.
The moment I met Madeline and all the conversations afterwards that we had, I was just like how does she think like this?
How does one have so much to say?
So I feel like you're just, in everything you do and everything you think about, you have like a Socratic method for the content you consume, for the people that you meet.
I had just I had never met anyone like that previously, because I feel like people kind of kind of like what the other teachers were expecting.
They absorb everyone else's opinions and then they kind of adopt it as their own versus you actually have a very unique perspective on everything.
And I think that expands what other people can think about the world.
And like it kind of gives permission for people to have different opinions and something interesting, because you're able to find, like this, this other angle.
Like this you're like, Hey guys, this song doesn't just have this one door.
Have you thought about these other doors that maybe the artist is trying to get at that?
Like maybe it's not true, but you're able to explore that.
Yeah.
And I think that's, that's very unique to Madeline.
She's so good at it.
You're able to, to dissect and like take apart something.
I think in the past, like I had tried like guinea pig, right?
Just try with the teacher to let something out.
But then I was, it was received with, yeah, but you know, come back this way kind of thing.
And so you're like, okay.
Yeah.
So I didn't think that those were right.
Like there was a right and wrong versus like open, open thought process.
Yeah.
I feel like that kind of resistance is still everywhere, maybe in work and in friendships.
How do you stay true to that person that was unlocked in that classroom?
That's a good question.
Because I also feel like you're really good at standing your ground too.
Because people expect everything.
Yeah.
Because that teacher maybe showed you or solidified that confidence you had to say my thoughts are valid.
They are worthy to be listened to and worthy to be pondered by others.
Yeah.
Especially from a teacher who's kind of in a position of authority or an adult to respect what you had to say probably felt so different from the slew of your whole school experience.
I think it shouldn't be overlooked how important it is to teach the technical skill.
Like I think he really honed in on like we had the structure of like how we need to write and like how strong the argument needs to be.
So I think From the technical perspective, he trained all of us.
It has to be a good argument.
I couldn't even tell you how to do that, but I think we just did so much of it that it became second nature.
But then what really brings it home is kind of like you actually believing in it and like kind of infusing emotion into it.
And that's like what the unlock was for me is like okay, I can craft this argument because I've had other teachers teach you the technical skill, but they might not believe in what you're saying.
You know what I mean?
So this was the fusion of both.
Within that, he helped me realize like, okay, as long as I'm feeling something, it's worth voicing.
It might not always be right, but That's so good.
Try.
Just try.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you have the technical skill to back you up.
So I mean, and that took a lot of work.
So like, I don't want to undermine that.
So I think his strength was two part twofold is one is seeing the value in you and kind of like helping you emotionally step into what will compel the receiver and then two is the technical skill i love that yeah because i feel in in debate or in in um backing up a stance i hear this rhetoric all the time that you need to remove the emotions otherwise it won't be as convincing if you're too emotional people people won't listen to you but for him It's like you need that emotion in order to land the plane.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That's very different.
I had like a nationally acclaimed debate teacher in high school.
I only took it for one semester and she was like the technical top of the world.
You know what I mean?
Like everyone that went to nationals won.
And she was so good, but I had no heart in her class.
And so I didn't really care about what I was doing, even though we were learning to craft really strong arguments.
I just didn't care.
And it shows.
It was so funny in your letter when you shared about how he encouraged you to pursue and run after all of your random thought trains, because that's what you'll be doing all day, every day, and it is what makes you so dynamic and curious about the world and able to see and understand everybody around you and and take them for what they are.
In your letter you talked about how he maybe was the first person that allowed your jar with all of its color.
I forget what you said exactly, but all of the color bursting forth.
And he put you first instead of, almost like other teachers, maybe putting you in a box of what they want you to be.
He let you be you. and that is so reflective of how you exist in the world today.
You're genuinely curious to let the person show you who they are, instead of make judgments early or assume that you know.
It's crazy, because you couldn't have.
You couldn't have been giving this gift to the world all these years, unless you almost received it first from Him.
And then you knew what that felt like.
You knew what it was like to be misunderstood or not heard or boxed in.
It almost overflows in you because he poured it into you first, into your cup.
But I thought that, phrasing the way you said, of like every person he saw as jars of color bursting forth, and now you see everyone else that way too.
Yeah, he never blatantly said any of these things to me, it's just how he moved.
So yeah, that's the most interesting.
Like these are the conclusions that i've drawn and this is like how i would put words to it.
But i also noticed like he would just sit back and watch, like he would just let the students come.
And so if the student doesn't show up with something like I mean you have to speak to get participation points, but he's not gonna push you.
He's not gonna force you to do it.
So, but it's, are you open to kind of like learning and developing?
Are you gonna be open to the critical feedback and do you want to actually get better?
But um, i think with other teachers it was more of find the answer.
Yeah, you know, try again.
I hit it somewhere.
Yeah yeah yeah b, what is the b for you know?
Yeah, I don't think I.
I didn't get A's until that class, which is like it shouldn't be the measure of success at all.
Or I didn't get A's on papers and be excited about it until that class.
Wow.
Yeah.
And even when I got like a below mark grade in that class I was like oh interesting that this is why he gave me that grade.
Why?
Why would you get the B?
I don't remember.
Oh, okay.
But I remember he would have comments on the side in red that instead of like in the past, I was just like ugh, what are they saying?
But here I would kind of first go, ugh, and then, okay, what did he say?
Yeah.
You know, and actually care.
Yeah.
Because he would consider everything.
Yes, like, understand where you're trying to go with this, but did you think about this?
Have you met anyone like him since?
You know, I wouldn't say that he was like one of my favorite teachers at the time.
And I also don't think we were particularly close.
Like we weren't not close.
I liked him.
I would like see him for lunch sometimes to talk about stuff.
But I think my appreciation for him grew throughout the years.
Like we don't, I haven't talked to him.
I used to follow him on Twitter, maybe like.
Years ago.
But he has since left Twitter.
And I've had, I think, when I think about really good teachers, like a lot of them have elements of what's important in a teacher, whether it's making that heart come out, whether that's like helping you find the child within you or giving you the technical skill.
But I think he was probably the most comprehensively impactful.
Wow.
Yeah.
I have teachers that I liked more, but did they affect me as deeply?
I'm not sure.
Yeah.
Do you think you can find him and send him this episode?
Yeah, I probably will.
Mr. La La La.
This is for you.
I probably will.
Yeah.
It's crazy because we've known you for years and years and years.
And so obviously we know that your curiosity and taking the world in for all that it is all the color that it is is so much a part of who you are.
But I didn't realize that this thread actually traced back to him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting because in preparing for this episode, Jen had said this is kind of like our favorite Exodus episode, in the way that you have to be reflective and how you're wondering about this person that so deeply impacted you.
And I think about this teacher all the time and I think about This was the person who taught me this and this is the reason why I am this way today.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
That's after one year of class.
And that's not even one year because the school year is like, what, nine months?
Nine months.
That's nine months.
Yeah.
You can change someone's life.
Yeah, that's incredible.
He's amazing.
It's also neat too, because you talk a lot about how being appreciated and respected for your thoughts fully something that really means a lot to you and how someone relates with you, because oftentimes, like the world, other people can like gloss by and not ask that follow-up question of like oh well, what did you mean by that?
And like really dig and understand the depths of who you are and you are there are so many depths of you and it seemed like he was one of the first people to really dig and mine for all the gold that's in you and not just pass you by as a student who was checking the box.
But now there's more in this one.
I've got to uncover it.
And now you do that with like everybody.
The questions of curiosity, you're like, there's gold in there and I will find it.
She will bombard you with questions.
You tell her one thing about your day and she's like, well, what about this?
What about this?
What about this?
Sorry, I'm asking me so many questions.
I'm like wait wait, multiple threads and like, as you're answering her question, she'll have a follow-up question to your answer.
Yeah, it's like trees and roots over and over the way you pursue people in that way.
Yes, it's so reflective the way that he pursued you in knowing your mind and your heart and now you get to do it for everybody else.
Yeah, Yeah.
I like to think that I see the world now the way I do because of him.
Wow.
You do.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Even in the way that you like talk about music, you talk about the things you consume and you're able to form like your own thought because you know, like those think pieces people write, they read articles about why like, this album is the greatest of all time.
Yeah and, like for a normal person like me, i'd just be like oh, because it sounds good, but for you you dig into, like the history of the artists, where they grew up, why they might be motivated to write something in this way, and I just think it's so cool because I know that you didn't read something to inform this opinion.
You formed it on your own.
Yeah.
And I think, I think that's a superpower that not a lot of people have ever honed or knew that they could have.
That that you've developed over years and years and years.
Thank you, HL World Lit.
Yeah.
Thank you, World Lit, Mr. World Lit, Mr. IB World Lit teacher.
It's neat to imagine, too, because he probably has no idea.
If it was unspoken.
His impact and it's matured and developed over time as you've reflected on his impact on you.
Like how meaningful it is for all the teachers out there to know that maybe if you can't see for the kid at the time, like years and years later, they might really like what you're doing is really changing their life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You sow now and then you don't even see the reaping, but there's a harvest.
Yeah.
Yeah okay okay, it's finally your turn.
Well, there's only one who left.
It is i.
This letter is to my taekwondo master um, that i grew up with when i was like nine and nine to like 16.
Okay oh, I'm about to cry, okay.
I can't even say words, okay.
Dear Grandmaster, the first time I met you, I was a nine-year-old white belt and you were still just known as master because you only had your eighth degree black belt.
You stood tall and proud and I could sense that the warmth of your smile beamed from the warmth inside you.
When you were in the room, everyone turned towards you with all respect and invitation, because your love for your students pervaded through every belt and age and color.
I never felt overlooked by you.
I was a young child, a white belt, a soft spoken girl.
I felt like my station had every qualification to be overlooked.
But when you looked at me, I knew you saw me as someone strong and mighty.
And no one ever looked at me that way.
And I knew that quiet confidence you had in me and every one of your students was true and honest and a very real reflection of what you felt about each human being that you encountered.
Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I would get home from school and excitedly put on my uniform and hop in my dad's car.
I knew it would be a good class when we pulled up and I saw your big white GMC in the parking lot.
I would think, yes, he's here.
I would run up the stairs and push open the door and you'd be there, either teaching an earlier class or coming out of your office with a smile.
At the end of each class you sit us down in a circle and give us a life lesson on how to have good and honorable character.
One of my favorite lessons was when you taught us about how no one will care what you have to say, unless they knew that you cared about them first.
That lesson changed how I related to every person I met after the fact.
I love others deeply and I can credit this largely to how you modeled and taught it.
I remember when you started taking a step back from teaching the classes and other instructors came in your place.
I remember feeling a distaste for their coldness and indifference to the other students.
If I had one word to describe you, it would be trustworthy.
You lacked deception, envy, pride, condescension, timidity, malice.
Nothing a leader would be tempted to succumb to.
I loved Taekwondo with my whole heart during those years.
But I think I just loved you.
You were more than a master and an instructor to me.
I saw you as a second father.
You coached me through 20 plus belts until I achieved second degree black belt.
And your steadfast support remained consistent throughout the years.
I became someone who was strong and mighty and I saw myself as that towards the end.
I gave your son a black eye.
But it was a sparring match.
It was a sparring match.
I am forever grateful for you and your family's influence on my life.
Your wife was also like a second mother to me.
Your sons, they were my friends, and your family has a very special place in my heart forever.
The five tenets of Taekwondo are courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, and indomitable spirit, and you have embodied over a lifetime the full measure of each of these.
When I heard you got your ninth and final degree black belt, I was so satisfied to finally refer to you as Grand Master, because to me you always were.
That was hard.
Wow.
He needs to hear this.
No, I DMed him on Facebook yesterday, and I was like, I'm filming a podcast episode.
I'll send you the episode after we're done recording.
Did he respond?
Yeah, he was like, I can't wait.
Has no idea what's coming for him.
He's about to be weeping, weeping.
I hope he weeps.
And if not, I hope his wife weeps.
All right.
So that was my grand master.
There's less than a thousand ninth degree black belts in the world.
And he had to go to Korea to test.
Yeah.
He's incredible.
I remember watching him at a tournament one time.
And after the tournament, there's probably like 1,000 people in this grand ballroom downtown Dallas.
And at the very end we all sat on our knees around the border of the ballroom and we watched him test in front of um, i think, three grandmasters that had flown in from korea, and it was just him in the middle of the ballroom testing, and i remember watching him and i was like this is decades, decades worth of of dedication and time and love and passion, and it was very cool to see him in the stance of a student in front of his masters.
It was so cool to see.
When you think of him, what is the primary emotion?
It's like the warmth of when your dad comes home.
Wow.
And like you hear, you know, like when you hear the keys turning and like oh, he's about to walk in.
And so you.
When I think of him, I just think of all the respect I have for him and like just the love.
The way a good father loves is he's firm, he's strict, but he's also kind.
And he.
I never felt like I was like so surprised at the end of my Taekwondo journey to find that my dad paid for classes, because it never felt like I was a paying member of a class.
It felt like that was his house and we went to his house and he invited us for, for exercise and then a life lesson at the end,
And he would send us on our way at the end of each class.
You were like adopted into his family, and he cared for you with the depth of a family member, versus just a student in a business that he's running.
Yeah, and his wife is a seventh degree black belt.
Yeah, it's like a taekwondo family, so she would also um, teach classes and she would, she would give us life lessons as well.
Um, so she was like my second mother and like yeah, and her their, their two sons were my really good friends.
I still keep in contact with them too.
Yeah, So you had him from when you were nine all the way through to like for years and years.
Yeah, until life got busy until like, I had full orchestra and marching band and I just couldn't go anymore.
And then that's when I remember going into class and then he called my dad aside.
I hadn't gone in like, I think months.
And I finally was like, I think I'll go to Taekwondo today.
And then that was my last class because he pulled my dad into the back office.
He's like.
So if Emily wants to keep coming here, you have to pay another.
I don't know how much it was, but it was pretty expensive for another year.
And then my dad was like so, so you have to go at least twice a week to make this worth it for me.
And I was like oh, I don't have enough time.
I think I think I should just stop taking classes, yeah.
So it was sad, but it was kind of like I got to the level where um, the women around me were getting very strong and I think I was.
I like to believe that I was like the top performer at the studio.
But then I remember my last test.
I was beat up so badly because I was finally competing with adult black belts and they were strong.
And I just saw the distance I had to cross in order to continue.
And I was like I don't have time for that.
Yeah, i remember i got the wind knocked out of me.
I was like oh, these girls are strong.
It's like reality hit yeah.
Yeah, you can't write on talent anymore.
When you were reading your letter, It almost felt like I was seeing an echo of your nine-year-old self reading it too, not knowing all that you would evolve and grow into now and the strength that you carry now.
Because he saw you, he met you, he saw what you would become today, when you were nine, in advance for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you couldn't see that for yourself.
It's like you saw your present way back then, when you couldn't see your future.
Yeah.
I always thought it was really striking how you felt at that age.
Like when he looked at you, he saw that you were strong and you were mighty.
What did that feel like and describe that?
I felt.
I remember distinctly feeling at nine years old that I was very forgettable because I was, you know, like growing up as a minority in Texas there's just like not a lot of people that look like you.
And I remember going to summer school having a friend and then The next year I saw her at a piano competition.
She forgot who I was.
I remember that made me feel like, oh, I have a forgettable face, I have a forgettable personality.
People are going to look at me and overlook me, as if I didn't even exist.
When I entered his practice, I just remember feeling seen by a white man, you know.
And I don't mean it in a creepy way, but just like someone in power in our society, to be able to see me, who I already felt I was overlooked, and for him to see me and be like I know who you can be.
I literally felt like he saw me as Mulan.
And I was like, he saw my potential and he's like, I know where I can get you.
And I know you can do this.
And we would always have to yell You know, like the, all that.
He's always like louder, louder.
He's like, you need, you need to say it with your gut.
You can't just say it.
Just be just to say it.
You have to mean it.
And it has to come from down here.
So in a way, he really made me find my voice because I had to in order to participate.
In those critical periods of time where you could have just drifted and started to believe that you were forgettable, that you were overlooked, he was like no, I'm going to draw you into who you are today.
Yeah.
And now you're Mulan today, seeing the journey that you've gone on and how he has unlocked that for you.
He said, you are Emily and I know your name and I see you and you're going to stand up here.
He taught you to access your heart by giving you his yeah yeah, you know those people, you can.
You just feel that from the moment you meet them, you know like this is a safe person, and i feel like he remained consistent through the entire like six, seven years i got to know him.
It's that feeling of like their eyes scanning the room and they land squarely on you, like deep into your eyes.
And I think he treated every single person that way.
I don't know if everyone was as receptive to it, but whatever he was giving out, whoever it landed on, and if they were ready to receive it, it was life changing for them.
Them yeah, because he's the kind of adult that when he's talking to a kid, he'll get on his knee and he'll get to their height.
Oh, to be able to like, look at them in the eye.
Yeah yeah, like i will come down to be together with you here, instead of i will tower over you.
It's so terrifying.
Yeah, He didn't go like this.
He did.
He got on his knee and he's like, let's talk.
Which is reflective of both how he did that physically, but also figuratively, metaphorically.
Cam was like, I'm next to you.
Like I see his eyes right now because they were always just right here.
I never got a look up his nose because it was always like right here.
Yeah.
So thank you, Grandmaster.
You will always, always have a very special place in my heart.
Yeah.
And I think about you all the time, all the time.
Can't wait for you to listen to this episode, Grandmaster.
So I think one of the things that was really notable hearing all of our different what really moved us deeply about our teachers is that, in a time where we could have been overlooked, they saw us.
And they saw not just who we were at that moment, but they saw things in us that were probably dormant or things we didn't even know in ourselves.
And it's like they came with their key and was like gently, like come out, like I know who you are, I know who you're gonna be.
Which I think probably meant a lot to us as young kids, because it's so easy to be forgotten.
It's so easy to hear so many voices from other adults, your parents, people in your community and believe that that's who you are.
And so that one voice that unlocks even a little bit and coaxes us out just probably meant the world to us because, like now, we've grown and evolved and we know who we are and we're confident and we're trying to figure out how to be confident on some days.
But think about being like our nine-year-old selves, our 12 13-year-old selves, and having someone see something in us that you couldn't see in yourself is like one of the most incredible ways to, I think, love.
And that's what we, I think, hope to do with each other, with our relationships and our friendships now is to have received that, and now we can give that away to other people.
Yeah.
I think of the volume of kids that have gone through each of these people's classes and how many of the lives were impacted.
We're just one each for them, but they probably taught hundreds, if not thousands, of kids, and how many of those people are better because of their teacher?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Teachers are the backbone of society.
They're not paid enough.
No, not at all.
It's such an important job and it is with utmost gratitude that we sit here.
Thank you.
Yes.
So that wraps up our episode.
We would love to hear your stories about your favorite teachers.
Drop a comment in the comment section, write your teacher a letter and maybe send it to them.
Yeah right, start a podcast one episode and send it to them.
Yeah, it's worth it.
Yeah yes, we want to thank all teachers everywhere.
Actually, the the day that we're recording this is actually like public school appreciation week or something.
I think I saw it online today.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Public school, but to all teachers everywhere.
Um, you are seeing, you might not see the harvest that you've planted, but it does exist and it is exponentially spreading.
Yes yes yes, you can follow us at the hot pursuit pod on instagram tick tock, and then you can find more of our episodes on spotify, apple podcasts, other podcasting platforms.
This This is really emotional, but really beautiful too and really quite cathartic.
I'm actually glad that we had this reason to do this exercise.
So hopefully this gives you a reason to reflect and think about your teachers as well.
And even if it's not teachers, maybe there's like an auntie or a coach or someone who was not your parents but was an adult in your community.
That really meant a lot to you.
And we hope to be those adults too for the little ones in our lives one day.
All right.
And with that, hop our suits.
