Getting older?
Yeah, it's happening.
Aging has definitely become a common topic of conversation with my friends.
And thankfully, not just the bad parts, like all the new aches and pains, but also some of the beauty that comes with it, like not caring what others think anymore and feeling more comfortable with who you are.
Maybe you've been in conversations in English on this as well.
And maybe in the moment, all you could say was, yeah, I'm getting older too.
And that's about to change, because today we're going to focus on the phrases we use to talk about getting older, not the specific physical changes.
We'll save that for another lesson, but how you're actually feeling about it.
Not in an overly dramatic way, but in a here's what I'm noticing way.
As a result, by the end of this lesson you'll have the English expressions you need to talk about aging, the way that you actually think about it and feel about it Not just with sentences like I feel old or I feel older, but the real stuff, the real things that you're thinking, what you're noticing, what you're not feeling sure about, and even how to reassure a friend who's going through the same thing.
You're going to learn several wonderful expressions today, and I know that you don't want to just learn them.
You want to remember them and be able to use them in conversations.
So before we get started, I have a recommendation to help you do that.
The best way to remember what you learned here today is to use them in real conversations and to hear yourself saying them.
To help you do that, I've got a free training called Say What You Want in English, and I'll put a link in the description notes below.
This free training will help you do exactly that.
It's going to help you practice saying these out loud so you get comfortable with them and you're ready to use them in real conversations.
It's a simple, low pressure way to start.
So let's start right away with the expressions you can use when you're just noticing these changes, like maybe your energy isn't what it used to be, or maybe you need more time to recover after a long week.
We're going to look at a few phrases that let you say that out loud without making it sound like a complaint or a crisis.
The first one you've probably heard before.
The march of time.
In just a few words, this expression captures something that's kind of hard to explain, but we feel it.
It's that idea or the feeling that time moves forward, whether we're ready for it or not.
And our bodies reflect that.
So you might say she hadn't seen her college friends in 20 years.
And the march of time was visible on all of them.
Again, with that statement, we're highlighting that time has an impact.
It has an effect on us, whether we like it or not.
And we can notice that impact.
Of course we could go into all the details of noticing someone's hair has turned gray or they have new wrinkles and all of those different things.
Or we can just simply say that we've noticed the march of time.
Now, connected to that, you might also notice that things are starting to slow down.
Recovery after exercise takes longer, late nights hit harder and mornings feel a little less forgiving than they used to.
There are two expressions I want to highlight.
The first one is to slow down, which means to move, or recover less quickly than it did before.
For example, after her 50th birthday, she noticed her body starting to slow down.
Things that were effortless before now required more time.
And then the second one, to hit harder.
This is perfect when you want to say that Something affects you more than it did before.
Maybe like running a 10K.
Perhaps when you were younger it was really easy.
But now the impact of that 10K on your body, it hits harder.
It has a stronger or more intense impact.
And over time, that adds up.
Which brings me to the next one, to take a toll.
When something takes a toll, it causes gradual strain or stress.
Again, it's not all at once, but it's something that happens slowly over time.
For example, the last few years have really taken a toll on my energy levels.
Once you start noticing these changes, you might also find yourself keeping an eye on things.
In other words, monitoring them, checking in on them regularly.
You might be monitoring sleep quality, stress levels or how your body feels after the end of a long week.
So now I want you to imagine that you're catching up with a friend over coffee and she says she's been exhausted lately, even though she used to go to the gym five days a week without even thinking about it.
And in the conversation, you might say, I know exactly what you mean.
I think it's just the march of time.
Our bodies need more recovery time than they used to.
Now of course, noticing things is only part of aging.
Sometimes what comes up is a kind of question like, is this normal?
Is this just stress?
Or is it something I actually need to pay attention to?
So let's talk about the English that we might use for all that uncertainty.
In fact, have you ever heard someone say, I'm sitting with a lot of uncertainty right now?
It means that you're in the middle of something that is unclear, something unresolved, and you're just living with that feeling, which can be super uncomfortable.
And it can be hard to take it all in.
This expression to take it all in.
It means to absorb or process a lot of new information, especially when it requires real mental effort.
For example, maybe you've recently left a doctor's appointment and there was a lot of new information that was hard to take in all at once.
Connected to that is to gauge.
To gauge means to assess or evaluate something very carefully.
It's the perfect word for those moments when you're trying to figure out what's normal.
Like.
It can be difficult to gauge how much of my forgetfulness is just stress and how much is simply a part of getting older.
Now, in the middle of all that uncertainty, there's real value in staying mentally sharp and focused.
For this in English we say to keep your wits about you, and it means staying alert or staying clear-headed even when things feel overwhelming.
Here's a quick example.
With all the work stress and health stress, I'm trying to do what I can to keep my wits about me.
And then there's the expression to hold it all together.
Life obviously doesn't get simpler as we get older, does it?
There are more responsibilities, more transitions, and sometimes more loss.
So finding ways to hold it all together, to stay grounded and composed even when things feel hard, is something a lot of us quietly work at every single day.
A friend might say this to you.
Between changing jobs, sending my son off to college and experiencing perimenopause, I'm doing what I can to hold it all together.
In other words, I'm doing what I can to stay grounded, to stay composed.
Alright, I have to tell you that a few months ago, inside my Confident Women community That's my English conversation club for women
We had an entire month of talking about aging in English.
And one thing that I heard again and again in those conversations was this Conversations about aging aren't always just about what is happening to us, but they're also about how we choose to see aging.
In fact, research shows that people with positive beliefs about aging tend to live seven and a half years longer than those who feel negatively about it.
Now of course, positive thinking doesn't mean pretending that everything is perfect.
It starts with honesty and admitting if we've been papering over, are real feelings about getting older.
If you stop papering over everything, then something interesting happens.
Your perspective begins to change and you may start to gain some distance.
This means stepping back emotionally from something so that you can see it clearly and objectively.
Doing this takes time, but once you've done it, once you have that more objective perspective, things look different.
And here's a great way that you could use that expression.
It took years, but she finally gained some distance from the idea that her worth was tied to her appearance.
And with that distance comes something else. you start to feel more in tune with yourself.
This means being deeply aware of what you actually want and what matters to you.
For an example, we could say one unexpected gift of aging is finally feeling in tune with what makes me truly happy.
Now, if you're anything like me, you might be a very nostalgic person, and you might find yourself looking back on earlier parts or earlier chapters of your life with a new understanding or perspective, and not just the struggles that you had then, but also the growth that has happened as a result.
Now, to look back on something means to reflect on the past, to reflect on a past period of your life, often with a new understanding or appreciation of what happened at that time.
So here's an example of how you could use this.
When I look back on my 30s, I wish I had worried less and trusted myself more.
And perhaps in this process of reflecting on age you come into your own.
This means to reach a point where you feel fully confident, capable and authentically yourself.
With this particular expression, i kind of like thinking about a kid with shoes that are way too big, so they seem awkward and uncomfortable for a little bit, But eventually she grows into those shoes.
They fit.
And coming into your own is a little like that.
And now let's move into the fourth part of this lesson today with language that helps us to connect and reassure others.
Because, of course, talking about the process of aging isn't just helpful for describing your own experience.
It's not just a personal journey.
This is something obviously, that we talk about with our friends, our mothers, our sons and our daughters.
And sometimes the most important thing we can do is help someone else feel less alone in this process.
So the last three expressions that I want to share with you today are for exactly that purpose.
The first one is to play a part in something.
This means to contribute to something, to have an influence on it.
And it's a generous way of looking at life's harder moments.
For example, you might say to someone every experience, even the difficult ones, played a part in making me who I am today.
And then there's the expression to give it a try.
Simply put, this is what we do when we have a healthy perspective.
We give something new a try, whether it's a new hobby, a new friendship or even a new way of seeing yourself, and it's what you can say to a friend who's feeling hesitant or who thinks she's too old, too tired or too far behind.
In fact, you could say to someone you don't have to be sure that it will work, or you don't need to be sure that this new hobby is for you.
Just give it a try and see what happens.
And finally, we have the expression to show up.
This means to be present and actively engaged in your life, especially during challenging moments.
Not perfectly.
Not with all the answers.
It just means to be there, to be present, to be aware.
For example, aging well isn't about having everything figured out.
It's about choosing to show up for yourself one day at a time.
You now have multiple expressions for talking about the feelings and the experiences of aging in English, the way that you may actually be thinking it and experiencing it right now.
So here's my challenge to you i want you to use one of these phrases this week in a conversation.
It may be with a conversation you have with a friend, or maybe you write about it in a journal, or maybe you practice speaking it out loud using that say what you want training.
However you decide to use these phrases this week, the more that you use them, the more natural they're going to become.
The easier it will be for you to use them in conversations that matter going forward.
And again, if you want a place to actually practice conversations like this in English with other women who get it, who feel the exact same way and have the same goals as you, that's what the Confident Women community is for.
We spend entire months going deep on topics just like this.
And the women who show up for those conversations always say the same thing.
This is exactly what I needed right now.
Again, I'll leave a link where you can learn more and join me inside the Confident Women community.
The description notes below with that.
If you found today's lesson helpful to you, I would love to know, so be sure to subscribe or follow wherever you're listening or watching from today.
Thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to seeing you next time.