You're hot enough, you don't need any hot sauce.
I'm flirting so soon.
I hear you've been having some trouble with broken clocks, so I got you War on the Works.
Thank you.
So you can just have that.
It's not moving on the inside.
It's working.
I'm pretty sure this... It's working, it's not broken.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't work.
It's a working clock.
So there's no snooze button on that.
But let's stop now.
That was cute.
That was cute.
The nuggets got to go, and this is ridiculous.
But that was very cute.
I was just asking my friend.
I was like, where do people meet people?
Where are they?
Where are they?
Hello?
Hello?
Everyone in my crew is meeting people.
You.
It's illegal.
You should make it legal.
For anyone to fly in love.
Apart from you.
Yeah.
My goal for this year is I want to get more bendy.
In one way.
Like, I want to be able to do the splits.
Why was that immediately sexual to me?
I want to be able to do the splits.
I got some splits.
And maybe I'd also like to put my leg by my ear.
That can happen.
You think?
More than the splits?
You need a catalyst.
Like, somebody didn't do it for you.
You?
With a strap on?
What?
What are you talking about?
Because why else would your legs be over your head?
I just thought it'd be cool, like a party trick.
Okay.
You said you wanted to try and tumble.
I do want to tumble when I can.
Off a bridge, you were doing it.
Excuse me?
Oh, I have done it off a bridge.
Yeah.
Yeah, in Hawaii.
You might kill your ex.
Oh, my God.
It's like after I said that, it was like, wow, that was so crazy.
I was going to say, have you always been that chill?
I just like was randomly, like just like slightly enraged.
So you'd rather be in jail than alone.
I just think that maybe you got that wrong.
But you're with other people that are also in jail.
I would rather be alone than in jail.
Me too.
Okay.
So I sung that, it has to be the case.
Yes, every single lyric of yours is real, right?
Yeah.
Pass you a nugget?
No.
I was like, where the flats at?
What's flats?
Hello?
What?
Hello.
Do you think long-distance relationships work?
No.
Someone asked me if I had any hobbies, and I was thinking, no.
My only hobby is being on the internet.
Really?
And daydreaming.
It's so good.
I know.
I think it's pretty expensive.
Like, it makes the brand expand or something.
Do you think being delusional is a good or a bad thing?
It's such a good thing.
You think?
Okay.
Yeah, because anyone who actually thinks that they're like grounded in reality when it's like where are we actually?
What's actually happening?
You don't know.
The delusional I'm talking about is I think that I'm going to go somewhere and fall in love and it just doesn't happen.
I don't know.
I don't even know if we're like meant to fall in love, because like who's actually doing it and sustaining it?
I think we're just supposed to be in fleeting states of loving.
Do you fall in love easily?
Yeah.
Love, love, love, love.
It's tragic, truly.
Do you think you're good at giving relationship advice?
No.
Do your friends come to you, though?
I give it unsolicited, first off.
You shouldn't say shit when you see things that are so crazy.
They're gonna be with that person regardless.
Friends don't listen to you.
Yeah, I don't listen to my friends either.
My friends will be like, he's lying.
That sounds ridiculous.
And I'll be like, you're dumb.
And I'm gonna go do the same thing.
Again and again and again.
I've never been able to get a second date.
Yeah, I feel like I can catch them, but I cannot keep them.
Yeah, they're slippery.
They get in there and they realize I'm fucking weird and then they're just like, all right.
Would you say you're really weird?
I know, it's like the butt makes it seem like it's normal.
The butt?
On the outside, like I want to shake ass and do all the normal things.
But I also want to, just like I want to swim in the swamp and I want to, like collect methane gas with my man.
What?
That's my type of shit.
But that, to me, that makes you more attractive.
Thanks.
What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?
No one tries to pick me up.
Really?
Damn.
I just realized that I'm undesirable.
I think you're, like, very attractive.
Thank you.
That's a fact.
I think that's not really up for debate.
I don't consider myself conventionally attractive.
Well, I think it's cooler to be not conventionally attractive, because I think being conventionally attractive is boring.
That's what my mama said.
Would you ever run for president?
Absolutely not.
I think maybe you could.
I want nothing to do with politics, and I just want to be left alone.
Okay, cool.
I'll vote for you, though, if you did.
Please, that shows poor mental health on your part.
I don't know anything about anything.
Do you know anything about... Actually, I know a lot.
Okay.
About random things.
Like what?
Including aquatic things.
I know a lot about human health things.
What's one fact about the ocean I should know?
You should always watch your coochie when you come out of the ocean.
Brilliant.
Because of micro.
Micro.
Bacteria.
Bacteria.
Microbiome and salt.
What about your feet?
But you don't have an orifice in your feet.
Do you not?
No.
Ew.
No.
You do.
No.
I don't even know what that word means, orifice.
It's a hole.
A hole.
An entrance.
Oh, so is a mouth an orifice?
Exactly.
Is your nose an orifice?
Exactly.
Eyeballs?
Ears.
Oh.
Anywhere there's a hole.
Butt.
Booty.
Coulter bar.
What?
Urethra.
Don't know what that is.
Hello?
Hello.
Do you think I'm going to survive?
It might be strange.
Enjoy yourself.
Too hot for you?
No.
Oh, my mouth.
Yes.
I love it.
Would you do it again?
No.
