Oh, my god, there's a man standing in our doorway.
I have a doorman again.
We're gonna see a man standing in our doorway without a warrant, an eviction notice or a bible.
Excuse me, this is our apartment.
Yeah, we live here all the time.
No biggie.
No biggie, no electricity, no lacy.
Hi, i'm caroline.
This is max.
We live here not according to the list sir look, we do live here.
I have the key.
The key is to be on the list, which you're not.
Okay, I can prove we live here.
Just go over to the window, kick the side of the radiator.
A panel will open up.
You'll find a half-smoked joint and another half-smoked joint.
Proving... What?
That you're a poor pothead?
This is crazy.
I can't believe I'm begging to get into a place I've been trying to get out of.
It's a very exclusive party.
It's a dump.
I should know.
I live here.
I couldn't get any worse.
Turn that light off.
I'm watching the Victoria's Secret supermodel party with my night vision goggles.
And updating.
Oleg, how did you get in here?
How do you think?
It's my girlfriend's apartment.
I broke in.
Yes Oleg, it's your girlfriend's apartment where you're sitting in the dark watching models out the window with night vision goggles.
Hey, my pants are on.
No, they are not!
Not my fault.
Five Victoria's Secret supermodels downstairs, they took themselves off.
So what are you saying?
You're the victim here?
What would Sophie say if she came home and saw you sitting here?
She'd say, stop hogging the goggles.
Ole, let me just say this.
Vermont is closer than you think.
I don't know where this argument is going, but I'm going to that damn supermodel party.
Ole, it's late.
I'm gonna lay this on the line for you.
You're no George Clooney.
You're not even George Costanza.
These sheets are amazing, and you are never gonna do better than Sophie.
She is hot and clearly has no sense of smell.
I love Sophie.
I'll go home.
On second thought, I don't trust myself to walk by your apartment.
Better lock me in here.
Caroline, Max, come down here.
Hurry!
I knew it!
See, Max?
They're begging us to come.
I'm back again.
Are you coming?
Oh, let me think.
Downstairs with an open bar or up here alone with Oleg in his tidy, not-that-whities.
Should we tie you up?
No.
It'll just make me hornier.
I knew they wanted us to come to the party.
How could they not?
Last night I taught Petra how to eat bread without tearing it into little pieces first.
Don't try it.
I was a Navy SEAL.
You think you're tough?
I lived in a refrigerator box for a month.
With no top.
Not the box, me.
Max, Caroline, get in here.
Hey!
See?
We were invited, because we're A-list.
The toilet is clogged and I need you to take care of it.
Please.
A list as in A janitor list.
I don't know what to do.
Can one of you call the concierge?
Sure.
Caroline?
Oh, wait.
You didn't just call us down here because the toilet's clogged, did you?
No.
Okay, good.
The kitchen sink is backed up too.
What?
Toilet?
I got this.
I was almost born in one.
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
All right, everyone just calm down.
No need to overreact.
And there's the pool we mentioned in our ad.
Oh, boy.
Yep, we got the floaters.
Caroline, I'm gonna need the plunger and a lobotomy.
This happens with vintage toilets, part of their old world charm.
We got some charm stuck on your loofah.
Guys, remember last night how we just bit into that bread without chewing it?
Good times.
I need that damn plunger.
I don't want to die this way.
I got it, but it's caught on something.
Ugh!
What kind of a dump is this?
Hey, you want to have a Williamsburg experience?
