Hey friends, it's Dora here.
Let's be real, bedtime can feel like a constant battle.
The tantrums, the stalling, the screen fatigue, it's a lot.
That's why we created Wiggle to Wind Down, a brand new kids sleep podcast from Headspace and Cocomelon.
Each episode helps your little one move, breathe and settle into a soothing bedtime story so they can relax and you can finally exhale.
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Hi, welcome to Radio Headspace.
It's Dora.
Last week, I had one of those unexpectedly perfect moments.
I was sitting on my front steps with my morning coffee.
The sun was hitting my face just right and I felt this wave of contentment wash over me.
Nothing big or glamorous had happened.
I hadn't earned this moment or accomplished anything.
It was just pure joy.
And then, almost immediately, my mind jumped in. what are you doing just sitting here?
We got work to do.
There's laundry to fold.
Stop procrastinating and being lazy.
I caught myself in that moment and thought, wait, why am I not allowed to just feel good?
Because that's what it felt like.
Like I needed permission or I had to earn it.
Almost like joy without struggle or hard work attached to it was somehow wrong.
Now, growing up, I learned that struggle was the currency of worthiness.
That if something felt too easy, too good, too joyful, I must be doing it wrong.
I was raised in a family where hard work wasn't just valued.
It was the only proof that you deserved what you had.
Rest was suspicious.
Contentment was dangerous.
And joy?
Joy without struggling to earn it was almost selfish.
But here's what I'm learning through my meditation practice.
Joy doesn't need to be earned.
Feeling good isn't a reward for suffering enough.
It's our birthright.
And for many of us, especially those of us from communities that had to fight for everything, giving ourselves permission to feel good without guilt is one of the most radical acts we can take.
The message in my household was clear.
Struggle equals character.
Struggle equals strength.
Struggle equals proving you deserve to be here.
My grandmother worked three jobs just to keep her family afloat.
My parents worked weekends, evenings, through sickness.
I watched the adults in my life wear exhaustion like a badge of honor.
And I internalized this deeply.
In school, if I understood something quickly, I felt guilty, like I was cheating somehow.
In my career, I often found myself staying late, even when my work was done, because leaving on time felt like I wasn't trying hard enough.
Even in my relationships, I found myself creating problems where there weren't any because things, feeling easy, made me suspicious, like the other shoe was about to drop.
It wasn't until I started practicing mindfulness that I began to notice this pattern.
I'd sit in meditation and feel a sense of peace, and then immediately my mind would start generating tomorrow's worries, next week's tasks and ways to feel stressed again.
It was one day, during a therapy session, where my therapist asked me what would happen if you let yourself enjoy this moment without thinking you need to earn it first.
And I realized I didn't know.
I had never tried.
So I started small.
I gave myself permission to enjoy my morning coffee without checking my phone.
To watch the sunset without thinking about what I should be doing instead.
To feel proud of something without immediately minimizing it.
And you know what happened?
The world didn't fall apart.
I didn't become lazy or entitled.
If anything, I became more present, more grateful, more able to show up fully for the people and the work I care about.
Joy without struggle is not selfish.
It's essential to our well-being.
Feeling good doesn't make you weak or ungrateful.
It makes you human.
And especially for those of us who come from communities that have had to fight for everything, joy is an act of resistance.
It's saying, I deserve to be here, not because of how much I can endure, but simply because I exist.
So here are some questions to sit with.
What would it feel like to enjoy something without earning it?
When was the last time you felt guilty for feeling good?
What would you do if you truly believed joy was your birthright?
The truth is, our ancestors, the people who came before us, didn't struggle, so we could struggle forever.
They struggled so we could have the choice to feel good, to rest, to enjoy the fruits of their labor and our own.
When we give ourselves permission to feel good, we're not dishonoring their sacrifice.
We're fulfilling it.
So today I want to give you permission you might not have given yourself.
Permission to feel good without earning it.
Permission to rest without guilt.
Permission to experience joy as a radical act of self-love.
You don't have to struggle to prove you deserve to be here.
You already belong.
I'll leave it here for today.
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening and I'll see you tomorrow.
