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Now, on with the show.
From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
The show for people with big opinions.
Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together and ask you to decide which one is best.
Today's debate pits two out-of-this-world wonders against each other.
One is small, blue, an Elvis fan, and a powerful force of destruction.
The other is small, green, a teacher, and powerful with the force.
It's Stitch versus Yoda.
Surfing in on a wave of enthusiasm for Team Stitch is comedy writer and Lego master Sam Succeri.
I'm going to leave the audience in Stitches, and I'm going to leave Peter in Stitches.
And coming in hot from a galaxy far, far away.
It's actor, comedian and story pirate Peter McNerney for Team Yoda.
Oh, mess with Yoda, you shall not.
Everyone's favorite two-foot sorcerer is in the house.
And here to judge this extraterrestrial throwdown is Frankie from Rockaway Queens.
Frankie loves sushi, Broadway, all things Marvel, and has a freckle on his eye.
Welcome, Frankie.
Hello.
So, Frankie.
Tell us about your eye freckle.
My eye freckle.
So one day my mom and dad took me to the doctor, the eye doctor, and they did like scans of my eyes and things.
And it turns out I had a freckle in my eye.
That's so cool.
Can you see it from the outside?
No.
So it's a secret freckle.
No, it's not secret because I tell it a lot.
It could be secret, but you choose it not to be.
Very cool.
How did you first get into Marvel?
When I was little, I liked Marvel and Lego sets.
And that's kind of all you need to know.
Okay.
I love it.
So you've listened to the show for a long time.
What advice do you have for our debaters today?
Whenever I listen to podcasts, what gets me going is you guys got to be really funny and have to have logic that rounds up well with how your debate works.
Just do have well-written debates and like good logic compiled to them and be funny, because I want to laugh.
Okay, time to tickle Frankie's funny bone today.
There's nothing more intimidating for a comedian than make me laugh now.
Be funny.
Let's find out which alien life form Frankie thinks is number one.
But first, here are the rules of the game.
Every debate consists of four rounds the declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack and the final six.
After each round, our judge Frankie, will award points to the team that impresses him the most, but he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too.
Mark down your points as you listen.
At the end of the show, head to our website smashboomorg, and vote for whichever team you think won.
Okay.
Frankie, Peter, and Sam, are you ready?
Yes.
Yes, indubitably.
I was genetically engineered in a lab by a mad scientist to be ready.
I was not born ready because I was a baby and this show didn't exist.
But I have become ready since then.
Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness.
In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side.
Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements.
We've hooked a coin, and Sam, you're up first.
Tell us why Stitch was genetically engineered to win our hearts.
Close your eyes and walk with me for a moment.
Okay, sorry, sorry.
I meant figuratively.
Don't walk with your eyes closed.
Picture this.
One day, a super scientist creates a nearly indestructible alien in the lab.
This alien has one goal.
To destroy everything!
What kind of creature are you picturing?
Something towering?
Well, what have I told you?
This alien is none of those things.
This alien is actually cute.
That's right.
This is the origin of Stitch, the blue alien hero of Lilo and Stitch.
A bunch of aliens try to destroy him, but he escapes and lands on Earth.
There, a young girl named Lilo mistakes him for a dog and adopts him.
Fun and hijinks ensue.
Now, as far as super powerful aliens go, Stitch might be the cutest.
He's furry, blue, and he kind of resembles a koala.
He's got wide eyes, giant ears, and a big old smile.
He's just so cute and fluffy.
Oh, so cute and fluffy.
Stitch might only be around three feet tall, but he really packs a punch.
You want to talk about the force?
Stitch is a force to be reckoned with.
He's incredibly durable because he's bulletproof, fireproof, and can even shapeshift.
Stitch is also certifiably jacked.
He can move objects more than 3,000 times his size.
Little blue dude never skips leg day.
My guy is absolutely yoked.
Stitch isn't just muscle either.
He's incredibly intelligent.
He outsmarts the highest level of alien security in minutes.
He learns the ukulele, hula dancing, and the English language in seconds.
That's cool and all, but didn't you say Stitch was designed to destroy everything in his sight?
Astute observation, human child who randomly walked into my studio session.
Hey man, the door wasn't locked.
Yes, Stitch was specifically designed to obliterate everything in his path like a true chaos demon.
He basically invented rage baiting.
He slobbers and drools.
He snarls and scratches.
He shakes his butt at other aliens to mock them.
And it's hilarious.
All respect to Yoda, but that wrinkly little green guy never had the riz or comedic genius of Stitch.
So yes, Stitch was initially extremely destructive, but he evolves and that's what makes him so compelling.
After Stitch crash lands on Earth, he forms a bond with Lilo.
She thinks he can be more than a monster.
She's patient with him and challenges him to create instead of destroy.
Lilo also teaches Stitch the importance of Ohana.
Ohana means family.
Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.
Ohana is a Hawaiian term that means family of all kinds, whether you share the same DNA, are adopted or simply found each other.
It's about showing care and support to everyone around you.
Since Stitch was created in the lab, he has no family.
He's just a lost, lonely creature.
But through Ohana he overcomes his biological need to destroy and instead finds a family in Lilo and her sister Nani.
This is my family.
It's little and broken, but still good.
Yeah, still good, Stitch.
Still good.
Yoda is certainly impressive, but he sets a nearly impossible standard.
Inspirational, sure, but hard to connect with.
Stitch is powerful, too, but he's also deeply flawed.
He tries to be better, fails at times, but always tries again.
So, relatable.
He's an underdog.
Well, an under alien pretending to be a dog.
And who doesn't want to root for that?
So I'll say it loud and I'll say it proud.
Team cute and fluffy all the way.
A true blue argument there for Stitch.
Frankie, what stood out to you about Sam's argument?
You were really good with the emotional moments.
You made some good points towards the beginning, and it was a bit campy.
Yeah, Stitch does look like a koala.
Yeah.
He really does.
I liked it, especially around the emotional parts.
Why didn't you include Elvis, Stitch?
I like Elvis, Stitch.
There might be time for Elvis Stitch later.
Yeah.
Okay, Peter, it is time for your rebuttal.
You get 30 seconds to tell us why we should ditch Stitch.
And your time starts now.
Oh, okay, let's compare two things.
Absolute agent of chaos that's going to destroy your home and you've got to take care of it like an army of toddlers destroying your house, or the universe's most powerful and wise creature who, by the way, also is introduced with a full slapstick routine, a truly comedic character who can turn it on and turn it off in the appropriate context.
Ah, flawless.
Yoda for the win.
And time.
Yeah, I mean, if you think Stitch is bringing chaos to the galaxy, I would like to remind everybody that Yoda was overseeing the Jedi Order when a Sith Lord overthrew the entire galaxy.
So Stitch was created as a monster and got loose and learned to be better.
Yoda was at the wheel when the galaxy was taken over by the bad guys.
So who really brought chaos to the world?
That's really good.
I blame Qui-Gon Jinn.
Whoa.
How dare you?
How dare you?
All right.
This debate is off to a stellar start.
We're going to hear more in a moment.
Stick with us.
All right, time to get back to Stitch versus Yoda.
We've heard from Team Stitch.
Now, Peter, it's your turn to tell us why the greatest Yoda is.
Now, before we begin...
I'd like to tell you about a mystical power I'm mastering.
It's an energy that binds the galaxy.
It runs through all living things.
It lets users do amazing feats with their mind.
And it's called... The Farce!
You thought I was going to say the force?
Sorry, that's way out of my league.
The farce is kind of like the force, only different in every single way.
Instead of manipulating minds and moving things with your thoughts, the farce lets you tell a good joke.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Peter.
Peter who?
Peter McNerney.
Oh, that's...
That's not a joke.
That's literally just my name.
Sorry, I'm still learning.
Luckily, I've got the greatest teacher.
Yoda!
Punchlines you must work on.
Master the end before the beginning you try.
So wise, Master Yoda.
Yoda is a tiny, green, 900-year-old alien.
Imagine if you took your lovable old grandpa and your favorite elementary school teacher and a skilled warrior and you put them all in a giant blender.
I don't know why you would have that.
And actually, if you did that, you'd get arrested because that's dangerous.
And actually, let's forget that.
But if you combine them all together in a safe, non-blendery way, you'd get Yoda.
He first appeared in the movie The Empire Strikes Back.
Luke Skywalker was on a swampy planet looking for a Jedi Master when he ran into a troublesome little goblin.
Luke tries to shoo him away, but... Twist!
That goblin was the Jedi Master Yoda.
Judge a book by its cover, you must not.
Ah, a valuable lesson.
Yoda also teaches us that even the smallest can be super powerful.
He lifts huge objects with his mind, does sick backflips and takes on whole armies with his lightsaber.
It's so fun to see a tiny old creature do all that.
But Yoda would rather solve problems with words.
A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense never for attack.
Another lesson?
Yes, please.
It's exactly why I solve problems with humor.
For example, why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
Because he was...
At the crosswalk, ah, darn it, I forgot to come up with a punchline again.
The greatest teacher, failure is so true.
That's another great thing about Yoda.
He gives great advice, but then lets people make their own choices, even when he sees they are about to make a big mistake.
Because he knows that's how we learn.
Also, Yoda is lovable.
When Empire came out, some critics said he was the best part, and they were right.
And that movie had Harrison Ford.
Stitch and Yoda are similar.
Short, colorful, big ears.
But guess what?
Yoda came first.
Stitch is just coasting off of Yoda's lovable style.
And speaking of lovable, have you seen Grogu, a.k.a.
Baby Yoda?
He's so cute.
I love him so much.
I want to hug the force right out of him.
I know!
Yoda is super powerful, wise, a great teacher, and adorable?
What more could you... This debate ends now.
Oh, no!
Darth, uh... Darth... Whoa, actually, who are you?
Darth Stephen.
Vader's my cousin, and I'm stopping this nonsense.
Oh.
All right, well, in that case... Peter, use the farce.
Huh?
Oh, right.
But I gotta think of the punchline first.
Like Yoda said.
Got it.
Hey, Darth Steven.
Hmm?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know.
Why?
To get to the dum-dum's house.
Huh?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me, the chicken.
Huh?
I didn't realize you lived here.
Wait, or does that mean I'm the dum-dum?
It's because it's my house?
Oh, Peter.
That's funny.
You got me.
I'll leave peacefully.
Dum-dum.
I did it! thanks to some help from the best teacher ever, Y-O-D-A, Yoda.
Incredible.
A lovely, lovely declaration of greatness there for Yoda.
Frankie, what stood out to you about Peter's argument?
I like how it was like less of an argument and more of a story.
That was really good.
And it was really funny, especially with the farce.
I felt like that was a Spaceballs reference.
The Schwartz.
The Schwartz.
May the Schwartz be with you.
I definitely liked the reference to Grogu.
He's cool.
And yeah, it was very good.
And I'm torn, honestly.
This is a tough one.
All right, Sam, you get 30 seconds to say no-duh to Yoda.
And your time begins right now.
So what's always fascinated me about the Star Wars movies, especially after the prequels came out, is that we see Yoda try to fight evil, power versus power, and it didn't work.
But then, like you said, Yoda is very wise.
So why didn't Yoda train up Leia instead of Luke?
Because Leia doesn't fight fire with fire.
She's a senator.
She's also secretly part of the rebellion.
She's wise.
She's using ways of influencing the good in people through words.
So why didn't Yoda train Leia?
She's also a Jedi.
She's as much a Jedi as Luke.
And time.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll tell you why.
Because Luke put in the effort.
He took his X-wing to Dagobah and splashed in that water and he showed up.
And Yoda's there to let people make their own choices, be they good or bad.
Yes, Luke did crash his space plane.
That's true.
That's true.
As undeniable.
Okay, Frankie, it is time to award some points.
Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over.
You get to decide what makes a winning argument.
Did one team's jokes make you laugh?
Did another team bring stronger arguments?
Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to.
Have you made your decisions?
Yes, I have.
Oof.
Very good.
Sam and Peter, how are you two feeling so far?
Boy, I'm amped up.
I'm excited.
It's electric.
Bazzap, bazzap.
I feel the electricity through the cables.
All right.
It's time for a quick break.
Charge up your lightsaber or flip your Elvis record over.
And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
You're listening to State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
Hey, debate pals.
This is Taylor Lincoln, and I'm here with my argument amigo, Todd Douglas.
Hey there, Taylor.
Or should I say, a-woo!
Todd, you good?
I sure am.
It's a full moon tonight, so I'm getting into the spirit.
A-woo!
Todd...
Wolves don't actually howl at the full moon.
So I've been perfecting my howl for nothing?
That's real rough.
But your lunar know-how has reminded me of a logical fallacy I overheard.
A logical fallacy is a weak argument that makes a debate easy to beat.
It sure is.
Let's take a listen to the argument so we can spot the fallacy in motion.
Wow, you can really see all the stars once you leave the city.
I know, and the moon looks so bright out here.
It's incredible.
But that's the power of cheese for you.
What?
You didn't know?
The moon is made of cheese.
Either Munster or a white cheddar.
Dave, the moon isn't made of cheese.
That's an old fairy tale.
Beth, I think I know what I'm talking about.
I'm a cheesemonger.
I make and sell cheese for a living.
Just because you're a cheese expert doesn't mean you know about the moon.
Yeah, but it does mean I know about cheese, which the moon is made of.
When the moon hits your eye, that's a fallacy.
Yeah, specifically the appeal to authority fallacy.
That's when you believe something must be true because an expert supports it.
Just because Dave knows a lot about cheese doesn't make him a moon expert.
Now, all this cheese talk is making me hungry.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Oh, yeah.
Let's fondue it.
And we'll see you next time on State of Debate.
Smash Boom Best.
You're listening to Smash Boom Best.
I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
And I'm your judge, Frankie.
And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners like this one.
Hi, my name's Harriet, and I'm from Dunsbrough in Western Australia.
My debate idea is Sea Best Land.
Nice, it made up planetary proportions.
We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Harriet thinks should win.
And now, back to Stitch vs. Yoda.
Get ready for round two.
It's the... Micro Round.
Sam and Peter, you will each get three chances to make a micro argument backed by a cool fact.
Sam started things off last round, so Peter, you get to go first this time.
Let's hear your first fact.
You know, it makes sense that Yoda is so lovable because he is literally a Muppet.
Yes, a Muppet, like Kermit, Gonzo, and Miss Piggy.
The original Yoda puppet was made by Jim Henson and his team the people who made Sesame Street, The Muppet Show and the actor who gave Yoda his voice is none other than Frank Oz.
He did the voice of such incredible characters as Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and Grover.
Heard of them?
He was the one who did Miss Piggy?
Yeah.
Yes, he was.
So Yoda has the perfect puppet pedigree.
Oh, you want to talk about voices?
Stitch was originally supposed to be a silent character.
But the movie's director, Chris Sanders, did such a good job recording like a scratch version of Stitch's audio, which is basically what they just kind of use for storyboarding.
And everybody loved it and they couldn't find anything better than that because you know it was the director's own passion going into the character.
Oh, yeah?
Well, guess what?
Yoda's confusing vibe in that movie, boy, it's on purpose.
When they were designing the character George Lucas, the guy who made Star Wars he wanted Yoda to come off less like oh powerful, big guy.
And more like a little Dalai Lama, you know, someone who you underestimate.
He wore shabby clothes and he lived in a swamp to teach Luke to pay attention and respect even the lowliest of people.
More great life lessons from Master Yoda.
Yes, please.
Stitch. resonates with audiences and Stitch literally resonates.
Stitch can play a record just by putting one of his cute little claws onto the record groove and then opens up his mouth and bam, he's a Victorola.
Speaking of records, Yoda has been honored with maybe the most incredible prize in pop culture.
No, it's not an Oscar.
He was parodied by Weird Al Yankovic.
That's right.
Weird Al wrote a song about Yoda to the tune of the King's Lola.
Yoda, O-I-O-D-A, Yoda.
It does not get cooler than that.
I didn't listen to that, but now I want to.
Oh, it's so good.
You got to listen to it.
That one got me.
Okay, I got to go out of left field here.
I don't – to come back to that one.
All right.
Okay.
This is really maybe just some more Yoda trivia than Stitch trivia.
But okay.
So you know how George Lucas directed Star Wars?
George Lucas' earliest, like his second movie ever was American Graffiti, which is about a bunch of teens in Modesto California, driving cars around.
So you know how Grogu loves playing with that little metal ball inside of the razor crest?
And Mando is always like, don't play with that.
Give me back that little metal ball because it goes on like the stick shift.
The Razor Crest?
Mm-hmm.
So in American Graffiti when?
What's his name?
Milo, the guy who drives the really fast red hot rod.
When he picks up this little girl by accident, she is also like.
I want to play with the little stick shift knob.
And he's like, don't play with that kid.
And by the end of the movie, when they become friends, he gives her the stick shift knob.
And I think that's where they got that thing for Grogu.
Oh.
I actually really like that.
That's really cool and niche.
That's a great argument for Yoda, yeah.
It's a great argument for American Graffiti or Mel's Diner.
So you both get one.
Yay!
Okay.
I...
Was into all of those facts.
I learned a lot.
I don't know about you, Frankie, but Frankie, which facts were your favorite?
I liked Frank Oz and Jim Henson and how they worked on Yoda.
On Stitch's side, you made some good references to the movie. which I feel really sold me over.
But really, I did, but also Yoda's design.
I liked Yoda's design, the reference to the director.
So, yeah.
Okay.
A lot of good facts there to sift through.
But, Frankie, only one of them can get a point.
Did it.
Whoa, that was so fast.
Okay.
Hold tight.
We'll be right back with more debate after this.
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Thanks.
We're back and it's time for our third round, the super stealthy Sneak Attack.
This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot.
Today's attack is called Running for Mayor.
Your side is delivering a speech to a city or town of your choosing about why they should elect your side mayor.
You could choose to embody Yoda or Stitch or someone else campaigning on their behalf.
It is Sam's turn to start us off.
You're going to have 60 seconds max.
You can go shorter than that if you want.
Let's hear your rousing campaign speech for Stitch.
Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you with my proposition that we are all Ohana.
And as Ohana, this city must work together, and that will be very nice for everyone.
And that means that if somebody isn't feeling good, we all take care of them.
Because Ohana means no one gets left behind or forgotten.
And if somebody is doing really well, they help everybody else out.
Because a rising tide lifts all floating spaceships.
This voice is getting a little hard to do.
Hasn't done 60 seconds yet.
You can stop whenever you want.
Okay.
Stitch is going to rest now.
Oh, Stitch, that was beautiful.
Stitch, we all love Stitch.
So, Stitch, you are cute and fluffy and everybody loves you.
I can see the campaign posters.
They say Ohana with a graphic silhouette of Stitch on top.
Yeah.
All right, Peter, it's your turn.
Please try to win our votes for Yoda's mayoral candidacy.
New leadership this small village needs.
Elect me, you shall.
There is a dark force creeping through the village, and it is the distinct lack of composting.
Yes, little green bins we need to put in fruit scraps.
Methane gas is released when buried in landfills.
You should compost.
Good for the environment it is.
I also believe in child care for three-year-olds.
Vote Yoda, you shall.
Yes.
Wow.
And these aren't the droids you're looking for.
Goodbye.
Wow.
I really liked both of them.
And I drew like a little drawing of a guy sitting down with his hands up.
And that's a meme called Absolute Cinema.
And I did that for both of your voices, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Wow.
Highest praise.
The absolute cinema meme.
All right.
Reporter from the Star Wars Daily News, can I ask a follow-up question to Yoda?
Sure.
Yes.
Do you support childcare for children who may be, you know, still babies but also 80 years old?
Hmm.
Yes.
We all know the dangers of training children too old.
But yeah, 50 for one of whatever species I am.
That's like fresh out of the oven.
Yeah.
Peter, as a reporter, do you have any questions you'd like to ask Stitch over there?
Yes, Stitch, while Yoda was speaking, how many things did you destroy?
Well, you know, if I just stuffed it into my mouth and I can still regurgitate it in mostly one piece, is it destroyed.
That is the question.
Deep thoughts here.
All right.
Frankie, it is time for you to vote.
In a sense, you're going to choose which side is going to get a point.
But please keep it a secret.
Should it be this difficult?
It is very difficult.
Who is going to get your point?
Have you made your decision?
Yes.
Wonderful.
Then it's time for the...
The final six.
In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side.
Peter, please tell us why we should side with the little green guy.
Nothing cooler is there than Jedi.
Very nice.
Sam, you are up.
Please make your final pitch for Stitch.
What?
Yeah, I like that.
Incredible work.
All right, Frankie, it is time to award a final point for the final six.
Have you made your decision?
Yes.
Frankie, are you ready to declare one side the smash boom best?
Yes.
Okay, drum roll, please.
And the winner is...
My career is over.
I've never been so heartbroken in my whole life.
Oh, man.
Well, Frankie, please tell us, what was the thing that pushed it over the edge for you?
It was really tied between the first and last one.
Oof.
Because they were both really good, and it was just honestly like the flip of a coin for me.
Oof.
And sometimes it was just really hard and I had to pick one.
Yeah.
And I think I was struggling a lot with the sneak attack.
Oof.
Because I like both of your voices a lot.
Thank you.
And I think I just like Elvis Stitch singing more.
Mm-hmm.
This was so much fun debating with you, Peter.
Yes, your Yoda was fantastic.
And I was terrified when you brought out the Weird Al Yoda song because I had no counter for that.
And I didn't know if you were going to bring it up.
And you did.
And really, that shook me.
That shook me like a photon torpedo going into a ventilation shaft.
Serious design flaw.
Yeah.
Sam, I am humbled.
Incredible work.
I must say, the thing that really got me is yes, Stitch is an agent of chaos, but ultimately he tears apart our expectations so that he can bring us all together.
And that's what you've done today.
Here, I'm shattered by the loss, but I've gained a new family, and for that, I am grateful.
Ohana.
Beautiful.
Ohana.
Well, that is it for today's debate battle.
Frankie, crown stitch the Smash Boom best, but what about you?
Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
This episode was produced by me, Molly Bloom, Sandon Totten, and Mark Sanchez.
We had sound design by Rachel Brees and Mark Sanchez.
We had engineering help from Mitch Rackin.
Our announcer is Marlee Feuerwerker-Otto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman.
Peter, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
I would like to give a shout-out to Mr Olsen, Molly and my band director from high school, and also the Story Pirates, as always.
And how about you, Sam?
Any special shout-outs?
Yeah, I'm going to give a special shout-out to my favorite Yoda-sized creatures out there Calvin Casper, Phoebe and Gus.
Okay.
And how about you, Frankie?
Any special thanks?
My dad for picking me up from school early to come here and record it.
My sister, who really loves Stitch and is really amazing and she made me happy to come to this debate.
And she'll be very happy to see that Stitch won.
My friend Nate, who's a Star Wars fan, is going to kill me when I tell him that's the other one.
Oh yeah, Daddy, I like to thank my family, Daddy.
Thumbs up.
And James Brown.
Before we go, let's check in and see who Harriet thinks should win the land versus sea debate.
I think sea should win because there's parts of the sea humans haven't discovered yet.
And there's animals of the sea humans haven't discovered yet.
If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown, drag out debate, head to smashboomorg, slash contact and drop us a line.
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We'll be back next week with a new Smash Boom Best episode, Bass vs. Bass.
Bye.
May the force be with you.
Toodles.
Well, I just want to say, fun fact, I also have a freckle in the back of my eye.
Yay, team freckle eye.
I also have a freckle in my eye.
The camera's off, right?
