If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee, diapers, patients, or all of the above.
Stalking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you, but at least hellow bellows got your baby's butt covered.
Hellow bellow believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products.
With their ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service, that includes seven packs of diapers and four packs of plant-based wipes.
You'll never run out of supplies.
Better yet, they're delivered to your door.
Set, change, and cancel your delivery schedule whenever you want.
Named Best Diper subscription by New York Magazine.
And winner of the 2022 Good Health Keeping Parenting Award.
Hellow bellow will keep you well-stocked on Dipes and Wipes.
Go to hellowbellow.com slash ad large to get 30% off your first customized bundle.
And a full-size freebie product of your choice.
That's hellowbellow.com slash ad large to start bundling with 30% off your first order.
Don't forget that's hellowbellow.com slash ad large.
OK, whether you're taking care of your kids, a senior loved one, or maybe you're juggling both.
Well, we all need to break sometimes.
Care.com can help give you that break by helping you find trusted caregivers in your neighborhood.
Now when my kids were young, I counted on care.com to get a break so I could be fresh as a parent.
So friends, see why 29 million families have turned to care.com.
Find background checked, highly rated sitters, nannies, and senior caregivers who can help with everything from watching kids after school to meal prep for seniors.
You call the shots and find out what's right for you, whether it's full time, part time, or even occasional help all on one simple platform.
On care.com you can search for caregivers, view rates, and find care that fits your budget and schedule.
How convenient is that?
Check out care.com to get support and the break you need.
That's based here. Greetings.
Peace there, headspace listeners.
It's Kay Sunger here. So we're on a little summer hiatus.
We're taking in the sun.
We're chilling and we're taking into some revives.
We didn't want to leave you all alone all summer.
So I just wanted to share some dear headspace episodes from earlier.
I love just looking back and seeing where this whole thing started.
So there's some episodes here where we're answering questions about when the news brings you down.
Because as you all know, this question is still hella relevant.
There's also questions about procrastination and meditation and also what to do when you feel disconnected.
All right, so here you go and I look forward to seeing you back here with new episodes on September 10th.
Have you ever wished you had a wise meditation teacher on speed dial?
Someone you can call after a long day.
Someone you could lean on for their advice.
Someone to listen and help you to see things differently.
Welcome to dear headspace.
Dear headspace. Hi, this is Mary.
I can't stop watching horrible videos online about war and death and I keep having nightmares, but I can't look away.
I want to be informed, but I think it's not good for me.
So what should I do? Yeah.
That's our first question.
That is a deep question.
It is a deep question and I think it's a question that everyone can relate to because of all of the things that are happening in this country, all of the things that are happening in this world.
So I think I would just start there just saying, yeah, I'm in the space of just feeling a bit distraught, feeling a bit overwhelmed and just accepting that this is where I'm at right now.
And I think that, I don't think I know that that's okay.
And when you say that you mean the part about being stressed out, you're not speaking about the scrolling or the watching the news.
You're just speaking about just general space of like, I am here and I have to acknowledge I'm here.
Actually, I think I'm saying okay to it all.
All of it. Yeah, I'm saying okay to it all.
Because with what's the alternative?
The alternative is judging yourself saying, I shouldn't be doing this, right?
I shouldn't be doing that.
The first step with any change that you want to make is that acceptance and that awareness.
I'm scrolling. That's fine.
Now the next step is what do I want?
It sounds like with Mary, she wants to learn how to stop.
Or in more moderation. Right.
That's what I heard. Right.
Right. We have this natural desire and urge to be informed that what's going on.
And human nature, I have to say it, we all are attracted to drama.
What? Right. A little bit.
Right. Right. And so with social media, with the news constantly feeding us, there is a level of almost addiction here where you're addicted to just information, like information overload.
So again, if you want to change, if you want to shift out of that, you have to first accept, okay, this is where I'm at now.
Now what can I do? What can that might mean putting down the phone?
That might mean as I do with my daughters setting a timer.
Right. Right. So this is step, exactly.
So this is stepping into the beauty of technology where you can set a timer for yourself.
We're just shuts off on the phone.
So that might be something to keep in mind, Mary.
Okay. But let's just say you're scrolling and you're in and you have the mindset of I want to be informed.
It's important. I'm an adult.
I'm supposed to be informed in this world and this is what I'm supposed to do.
What do I do when I'm in there and it's making me, how do I know it's making me feel bad?
And you know, how do I stop?
Like how do you know when's enough of information?
So again, there's nothing wrong with looking, right?
There's nothing wrong with scrolling.
It comes the point and I've experienced it myself when we know, okay, wow, this is too much.
Wow, I'm getting to that space of overwhelm.
So I have a mantra and I call it what if, right?
And I use it for things that I want to change.
If I want to eat something that might not be the healthiest for me.
What if I just say no for now, right?
If I want to- For now is powerful.
Yeah. Right. What if I just put down the phone, right?
And so this what if mantra, what it does it alleviates that pressure, that judgment?
Because if you should be doing something, then that means that if you're not doing it, it implies that you're wrong.
Yeah. That you're being bad.
So it creates a sense of judgment.
So whenever you hear yourself saying should or I'm supposed, let that kind of be a ping word or it might be in a space of judgment right now.
Let me allow myself to shift out of it.
And that's where the what if comes in.
What if I just put this phone, now what if I turn it to television for now, what if I go for a walk, right?
So that what if allows you to gently shift into another space, it lifts that judgment.
What's interesting about what you're saying is that the key to stop doing it is your body.
Is you're checking in with your body or a feeling, you know, in your center of like, oh, this feeling is not a feeling I want to feel.
Right. That gives me the clue that I want to make a change.
And you know, what about for those moments when there's large scale tragedies happening in the world, whether be, you know, 9-11, COVID, you know, what about in those moments, because you're bombarded with information during those moments everywhere you turn.
I mean, think about COVID, even if you put your phone down and you weren't scrolling through Twitter, everyone was talking about it.
It's all we was all in the public.
What do you do then? They're so common these days, right?
I mean, I remember, like you said, COVID hit and then I remember George Floyd happened right after.
So it was almost like these events were just like stacking one and the other and the other.
And I think that's when you have to allow yourself a space of pause.
You know, there are many tools you can use.
One such tool is an acronym that I say, stop.
And I remember distinctly with George Floyd, I use this acronym where I just stopped just everything, like literally almost like somebody pressed the pause button on you.
And you take a deep breath, mess with a T, come to the play and just take a deep breath or as many deep breaths.
They say, so what you're trying to do with taking this breath is you're trying to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
And the easiest way to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of relaxing you, bringing you down, is by taking deep breaths, right?
So take one to five deep breaths, see how you feel.
Now the oldest to observe, observe what's present.
I'm in a space of anger right now.
I'm in a space of frustration, anxiety, overwhelm.
So taking the time to observe that though, without judgment, without judgment, absolutely.
And then the P is proceed.
And proceed is moving forward, making a wise decision, making a skillful choice versus reacting.
Yeah. So you're saying that one, she's got this issue, we're not going to call it a problem because that's judgment.
She's got an issue, she's aware of it.
She needs to bring awareness to her actions.
So she needs to check in with her body.
She needs to make sure, you know, when she starts to feel that, I mean, for lack of a better word, like kind of that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that she then tries to bring in the what if, you know, what if I put this down right now, what if that's my limit?
And then she begins a practice where she could implement stop, what you talked about, to begin practicing, like a reset, and then to come back and to try again.
But the biggest takeaway I heard was the taking the judgment out of it so that she can play in this space of practicing, protecting herself and taking care of herself.
Is that fair? No, that's absolutely spot on and, and, and listen to you.
Yeah, and it's the piggyback.
And I'll say the last thing is, with all of this, just be extremely patient and gentle with yourself.
All right. So obviously, what Mary needs is to have Kassanga on speed dial.
I think we've solved it.
Okay. All right. So let's move on to question number two.
Okay. Let's do it. This is Brett Taylor.
So I've been meditating with headspace for, it's been about maybe like seven or eight years, but somehow it still feels like a daily chore.
It's important to me, I would love to be meditating on a more reliable and consistent basis.
That keeps me more present and alive to the world's inside and around me.
But I do find myself, I will procrastinate beforehand, even if it's just for like a five minute meditation I'll still procrastinate.
It doesn't feel like the treat that I know that it can be, it feels currently like it's a means to an end.
But I'm 100% sure that it doesn't have to be this way.
So as far as like bringing the fun into meditation and making it feel like something that I look forward to, I would love some guidance.
Oh, Brett, that, I mean, I am with Brett on this question.
Yeah. No, no, totally, totally.
I remember when I first started practicing and everything Brett said, I can totally relate to him.
Yeah. I'm procrastinating and knowing that it's something that's good for you, but still putting it off.
I feel like I put off most things that are good for me for no apparent reason.
Why do we do that? Why do we do that?
I think it's human nature for some reason.
That's the ultimate question.
Why, right? Why procrastination?
I don't know. I think meditation is one of those activities that kind of falls into that easy to procrastinate back.
What else is in it? It's not just exercising, exercise.
Oh, sure. So with exercising, you know you procrastinate perhaps because it's going to be hard.
And that shit is painful.
But with so with meditating, with meditation, it's easy.
I think it's one of those activities that it sounds easy, but when you sit down with yourself and with your thoughts, with your mind, it's like, wow, okay, this is a lot more complicated than I anticipated than I thought.
It's hard. I find it, I mean, I'm a person where my brain's going a million miles an hour.
And so to slow down and to just sit five minutes can feel like five hours.
Right. So I think with meditation specifically, and I can only speak, this is, this is when I, like I said, when I first started meditating, I experienced this and this is what I kind of did for myself to kind of ease myself into the practice.
So that's key, right? Easing yourself into the practice.
I want to bread if you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to, I don't know, to have to do seven days a week, 40 minutes each time.
Right. Right. I want to bread is painting some picture of how he's supposed to be practicing.
Yes. Right versus just, okay, this is how I'm practicing right now.
So I will say first paying attention to that.
What kind of pressure are you putting on yourself, Brett?
Right. I can kind of impede your practice in another itself, right?
So that could be a first step.
Secondly, I would say to do simple go to prompts.
Right. You have writing prompts.
You got meditation prompts.
A simple one, and this is the one that you might have heard me say before, is when you wake up in the morning, I don't care who you are, where you live, you have to, at some point, upon waking, place your feet on the floor to get out of bed.
Okay. Right. Unless you just floor out of bed in here.
Right. But yeah, so that can be a prompt in another itself.
Once your feet hit the floor, boom, that can be a three to five minute sitting meditation on the edge of your bed.
Oh, that's really good.
Yeah. So Brett mentioned creating something to look forward to.
Right. I look forward to waking up.
No, I'm grateful for waking up.
I look forward to waking up because I know that before I even get into anything, once my feet hit my lovely floor, I'm going to drop into a three to five minute practice.
You know what I love about that in particular is that I have the best intentions in the morning, but I've got kids and like life moves.
And then as soon as I start doing that first thing, I go, I got to go feed the cat.
Right. And so I love the opportunity that you're presenting to say before you click into your day, stop and take a moment to start the practice.
Sure. Before you click in, drop in.
All right. I see what you did there.
Look at that. That wasn't even scripted.
Well done. And, you know, and so that's what I did for a while.
That was my practice. And then evolved.
Yeah. Then it evolved organically and naturally.
So then I was like, okay, you know what?
I was taking a class at the time and class, we used these meditation cushions and I placed it right by my bed.
So I placed my feet on the floor and eventually I just shifted right down into the cushion.
Oh. Yeah. And so keeping that in mind also, it doesn't have to be complicated.
Yeah. At all. A simple cushion, a simple seat, make it as simple as possible.
Just like adding on. Just adding on.
And it'll it'll happen organically.
Yeah. Taking that pressure or just take that pressure away.
Well, and I also think, so my kids are 13 and 11 and my youngest one has got this thing in his head now where he wants to maybe work out and he wants to kind of get into shape.
And every once in a while he'll say, so I'm going to work out every day.
You know, I'm going to work on every day.
And I'm always like, you're setting yourself up for failure in some ways because that's your 11 and you also love gaming and you have school and you have all these other commitments.
Like, what if we just looked at three times a week to start?
You know, it's just I often think I know for myself that I set the goal too high, too fast, too soon.
Yeah. And then I flame out.
I love that you said that Robin because what came to mind with that is also consistency, right?
So consistency is key. So even with your example of your son, you mentioned instead of every day, you said three times a week.
Three times a week. So let's scale that back.
Let's shift that a little bit.
What if every day upon waking 10 pushups?
Do you find that a habit is better solidified if you do it every day versus multiple times in a week?
Absolutely. Like when I first started meditating, I meditated every day.
Yeah. But I put ridiculous pressure to sit for like 45 minutes to an hour.
Yeah. Those absurd Robin.
Yeah. It didn't last at all.
You know, so I had to quickly, quickly scale that back.
Yeah. Three minutes every day is doable.
Especially, again, feet on the floor, waking up, feet on the floor.
Three minutes. Boom. Do you have any sense of why we avoid the things that are actually good for us?
No, I think that's just the mystery of life, Robin, right?
Not to get to miss the cooler cosmic here.
I think that is one of the mysteries or one of the obstacles, if you will.
Or I don't know. It's one of the secrets that we're designed as human beings to experience.
Yes. Well, that's where growth comes, right?
Yeah. Like when you are able to, like, I know when I show up and I do that thing that I was procrastinating on, when I finish, I'm like, that's not my champion.
Right. Like I am so proud of myself and that's the growth.
And then there's equal learnings in the days that I missed.
Yeah. And I feel bad about myself and then I have to ask that question of myself, do I want to feel bad or do I want to feel good?
That might be the answer right there, right?
Your intention. So, so what is your intention?
What do you want to accomplish in your life?
And whatever arena we're talking, how can you best accomplish what you want to accomplish without hurting yourself, with judgment, without hurting yourself emotionally?
It's an interest. It's a great question.
I mean, I feel like that's a meaning of life type questions.
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.
And not just because I asked it.
It's truly one of the mysteries.
Yeah. And Brad, just keep us posted.
We want to know how this practice goes for you and the self-discipline and all of that.
Absolutely. Yes. Please keep in touch.
We'd love to see how you journey it continues.
Hey friends, are you taking care of kids, a senior loved one, or maybe you're juggling both?
Guess what? We all need a break sometimes.
Care.com can help give you the break by helping you find trusted caregivers in your neighborhood.
So my wife, Mary and I, you know, we don't have any family near where we live.
And this was really hard when we had two young kids.
That's when I found care.com.
Being able to find trusted, good help to take care of my kids was just a game changer for us.
Gave us peace of mind so we could spend some time together.
So friends, see why 29 million families have turned to care.com.
You're going to find background checked, highly rated sitters, nannies, and senior caregivers who can help with everything from watching kids after school to meal prep for seniors.
You're going to call the shots and find out what's right for you, whether it's full time, part time, or even occasional help on all on one platform on care.com.
You can search for caregivers, view rates, and find care that fits your budget and schedule.
How convenient is that?
So check out care.com to get the support and the break that you need and deserve.
Selling a little...or a lot?
Shopify helps you do your thing.
However you chitching, Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
From the Launch Your Online Shop Stage to the first real-life store stage all the way to the...did we just hit a million order stage?
Shopify's there to help you grow.
Whether you're selling scented soap or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere.
From their all-in-one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system, wherever and whatever you're selling, Shopify's got you covered.
Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout.
36% better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms and sell more with less effort thanks to Shopify Magic, your AI-powered All-Star.
Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US and Shopify's the global force behind all birds, rothies, and Brooklyn in and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries.
Plus, Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the way because businesses that grow grow with Shopify.
Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash start selling all over case.
Go to Shopify.com slash start selling now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in.
Shopify.com slash start selling.
Alright, let's move into our last question.
Are you ready, Cassandra?
I'm here for it. I wanted to ask, how do I process feeling like I never belong to anything?
If I were to put my stock into Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I can interpret that I would never reach self-actualization because I have yet to feel what love feels like and I have never felt like I belonged to anything.
I do not always feel like I belong to a community, especially not a black community, and I struggle to maintain supportive relationships with other women.
I have a doctoral degree, and yet I do not feel like I belong to an educational elite or circle.
Sometimes I think I landed on the wrong planet, and now I'm trapped.
I identify as black and female.
I was born human, yet my ethnicity is much more complex and I'm not even sure I like human.
