Grownups.
Whether your state requires testing or you set your own benchmarks, now is a great time to review foundational skills and make sure your child feels prepared and capable.
IXL is an award-winning online learning program that fits seamlessly into homeschooling.
It offers interactive practice across math, language arts, science and social studies from pre-K through 12th grade.
IXL personalizes learning for each child, keeps them engaged and gives parents clear insight into progress.
For me, when I was a kid, and now as a parent, I have found that play is the key to learning.
If you're having fun while you're learning, then tests don't have to feel like tests.
It's just more play, and that lowers stress and improves results across the board.
What your kid sees is IXL's fun interactive practice, along with clear explanations, reinforcing learning and preparing them for those end-of-year assessments.
And on the back end you grown-ups get detailed reports that clearly show growth and areas to strengthen in real time.
Make an impact on your child's learning.
Get IXL now.
And What If World listeners can get an exclusive 20 off IXL membership when they sign up today at iXLcom slash?
What If?
Visit iXL.com slash what if to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.
Hey there folks, and welcome back to What If World, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off-the-cuff stories.
I'm Mr. Eric, your host, And today, we're celebrating a big milestone.
Our 40th episode of Stump Mr. Eric.
Stump Mr. Eric is a show we started releasing monthly for supporters of What If World.
And we occasionally tease out little bits of it in the public feed as well.
So you're getting the first two thirds, which includes a completely improvised story answering one of your questions.
Grownups, if your kid can't get enough What If World and wants to hear...
All 40 episodes of Stump Mr. Eric, plus all our other episodes ad-free.
Just head on over to whatifworldpodcast.com slash support.
You'll be helping me make this show and getting loads of content in return.
Thanks.
Now we're going to take a quick break and then come right back with this bonus teaser of Stump, Mr Eric.
Welcome back to Stump Mr Eric, the What If?
World game show, where we probe the mind of Mr Eric to see what lies within.
I am your host, Miss Lynn, and I am joined by the probee himself, Mr. Eric.
Okay.
Does that sound weird?
We're just going to skate right by that.
So we'll start out our episode as usual.
With our round zero.
Round zero is a trivia question about you, Mr. Eric, so you have no chance of getting it wrong.
One percent chance.
This episode's round zero comes to us from our patron, Sean.
Sean asks, what is Mr. Eric's favorite drink?
Ooh, so beverage time, Mr. Eric.
What's your favorite?
Wow.
Oh, man.
There's too many.
Okay, so...
I stopped drinking soda for a very long time.
But now there's this Olipop vintage cola that's like 35 calories, but it's mostly fiber.
And I can have it on occasion.
It's like when I'm going to pick up the kids and I've just been working all day and I'm so tired.
I just need like a little caffeine boost.
I can have one of those.
And, you know, I'm not a soda drinker.
My kids don't drink soda.
But it's just this every once in a while.
And Olipop really, really does hit the spot.
All right.
That is interesting.
There are so many quote unquote healthy sodas on the market nowadays which I am, you know, very dubious about, but I also am not a big soda drinker.
So our soda is still terrible.
It's terrible for your teeth.
It is not a healthy habit, but we were like, it's like, I really had to work hard when I was a kid.
I had really bad skin.
I, but we always had soda in the house and I didn't realize, I didn't know it was bad for me.
Sure, right.
How would you?
Yeah, I just was like, it makes me feel good.
And then, and then, you know, so for like 20 years, no soda.
And now, every once in a while, just for you know, a special sometimes treat, I have one of these vintage colas.
Yeah.
I mean, sometimes you have to feed your bunker, Mr Eric, or your brother thirst, i don't know.
Yeah yeah, you're bonger.
I think that fits in with still part of your.
Still sorry kids, no caffeine, you gotta wait till you're a little bit older.
Yeah yeah, even if it's only a little bit of caffeine, you should try and get along without it for as long as you can.
Absolutely well, of course, you got that one correct, mr eric.
Let's move on to round one, our short story.
And the questions to prompt our short story today come from two of our patrons.
First, our patron Ilhan asked, what if Fred the dog could ice skate?
And our patron Keelan, whom we've had many questions from in the past but we've not heard from her in a while.
Keelan asks what if Fred the dog got really attached to a sweater and he never took it off and the sweater made him like that?
So fred is ice skating, probably wants to dress warmly.
While he's ice skating, it's pretty typical attire to be wearing a sweater, but he gets so attached to it that he never takes it off and it makes him like baths.
That's what we have.
Oh wow okay, ilhan and keelan, Thank you so much for these questions.
I love, I love getting to answer these stories and you know, get get a little, get a little funky in my improv.
I don't know.
So, Miss Lynn, when you are you are you able to ice skate?
Do you know how to ice skate?
I don't because of a this is probably more than anybody wants to know but because of a physical quirk my feet and my knees aren't in alignment.
So I literally cannot ice skate, because my knees would be like knocking up against each other if my feet were parallel.
Okay.
So yeah, I've never been on ice skates.
I've been on roller skates.
It did not go well.
So, yeah.
No, so similar experience, not because of the way my body is shaped, but just because of the way my body is coordinated.
Perhaps
Or probably because I just didn't practice enough.
My memory of ice skating is me being about, you know, four years old.
One of my earliest memories like just sitting watching my parents ice skate while eating snow, you know, beside a frozen lake.
Yeah, so I do not know how to ice skate.
And I wonder how if having four legs, you know, it makes you more stable when it comes to walking.
But is it going to be harder or easier when it comes to skating?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
All right.
Well, let's find out.
What if Fred the dog could ice skate?
And what if Fred got really attached to a sweater and it made him like bats?
It was early morning.
Although by looking out your window you probably couldn't tell, because it was still dark and snowy out.
In fact, It was in a stretch of time.
You've all been there.
Well, if you live in a part of the world that gets snow.
Where it had just been snowing and cold and then more cold and then more snow.
And it had just kind of built up.
A lot of people were barely getting out of the house.
And Fred the dog was one of them.
Oh, it's too cold.
I don't want to go outside, said Fred.
He was, of course, living with J.F.
Cat in a cozy little apartment.
But outside, it was not so cozy.
Come on, Fred, you gotta get out of the house.
No, it's winter.
I'm gonna hibernate.
Dogs don't hibernate.
They just sleep a lot.
Well, so you can't.
I know, but I also get outside sometimes and you know dart, after things climb, other things slip around and then I come inside and let the snow melt off my fur and, you know, sleep for the remaining 20 hours of the day.
But Fred wasn't having it.
Until... Ding-dong!
Aw, man, I really wanted to get one of those novelty doorbells.
Why don't we have one of those yet?
Oh, like one that does, like, La Cucaracha or something?
Yeah!
Or, like, makes a Cocker Spaniel noise, or, no, like a Frog Ribbit, maybe?
Okay, well, let's work on that after we greet our guest.
Oh, hi, Miss Lynn.
How you doing?
Hi, Fred.
Sorry to stop by so early, but I was really excited because I've been so busy for the last two months making this sweater just for you.
See, it has the same zigzag stripes as on my Outside the Lines album cover.
And I just made it just for you, because I know that you don't like the cold, and it's been so cold lately.
It's like that hat that you made for Callie and Rory in What Is World, but stretched out with arm holes so I can wear it as a sweater.
Exactly.
I also made.
I don't know if you want to wear these or not, but I made these little matching, you know, foot mittens and front paw mittens for you too.
You don't know if I want to wear these, said Fred incredulous as he was slipping into his cozy.
New knitted clothes.
I am so delighted.
I have never felt so warm and cozy.
It's like having an extra layer of fur.
I feel like a bear.
I have on my super warm sweater that I actually got in Iceland.
Why don't you come out with me and we'll enjoy the splendors of the snow-kissed, And virans.
Okay, as long as you pick me up.
Okay.
And Miss Lynn, knowing that you pick up a dog from underneath its body.
Most dogs prefer to be picked up that way and never by the front legs.
And honestly, rarely by the butt either.
They don't really like that.
But that's just some dog facts for everybody out there.
The heavier the dog, the more likely you want to... Come on!
He's already doing it right!
Let's just go!
Can we get to a point where I can set him down, please?
And just like that, they were in front of a wide stretch of frozen water.
A lake!
Yes, Squid Lake has frozen over.
Which I would normally be devastated about.
Most of the squids are in a sort of squiddy torpor for the rest of the winter.
But I, being an interdimensional squidapuss, figured I'd just host an ice skating rink for a little while, said Cthunkle, waving his arms and tentacles in a welcoming manner.
Uh, uh, uh, I, I, uh, don't, you need, um, skates to ice skate?
Oh, yes.
Ah, but I can create them.
By willing my brain powers.
That's great.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
I did not see that coming.
I've never been ice skating, y'all.
Yes, but in what if world with Cothunkle's magical skate, anyone can skate.
No matter how many or how few limbs you have or how they're built.
And even if you're bad at ice skating, you will be slightly less bad.
Uh, okay.
I'll give it a try.
Just make sure that you don't accidentally nick yourself on the skates.
You know, they are enchanted.
So I can't really predict what would happen were you to nick yourself on these interdimensional blades.
It might send you spinning out into the multiverse.
Who knows?
All right, well, here goes everything.
This is weirdly high stakes now.
The stakes really just exploded, but you know.
Here we are.
Okay, what's the worst that could happen?
Whee!
Miss Lynn took off.
And just as she bikes and dances, you can imagine Miss Lynn was wondrous on the ice.
Oh, could I be like that too?
Come on out, Fred.
Okay.
And with one little ice skate on each little paw.
That's cold on my belly.
Okay, let's get back up.
And it's okay.
You don't have to be as coordinated as a cat to do a flourishing spin like me.
Wow.
Okay, but it probably wouldn't hurt to be that coordinated.
Fred tried to skate a little faster, go a little further, catch up to Miss Lynn.
And hey, I'm doing it.
And I feel so cozy still!
You're doing great, Fred.
Let's do a doubles routine.
Okay.
And some music started piping in from nowhere.
Interdimensional speakers, Mr. Eric.
From interdimensional speakers.
Wow.
And Miss Lynn and Fred the dog, as if they'd been rehearsing together for months.
We have been, but we just didn't do it in ice skates.
It's kind of really easy to just add the skates, when they're magic, did their extremely rehearsed dance together.
I'm going to do a septuple axel.
And from the crowd, septuple axel and all of his six siblings cheered.
Whoa, that was amazing.
You did my move.
And you nailed it.
This story is making very little sense.
Whew, we've been out here for hours.
I need to take a break.
Uh yeah, and I'm As much as this knit sweater is really lovely and wool is, you know, kind of moisture-wicking.
Um, I am starting to feel pretty wet.
I think I need to get cleaned up.
Oh, no.
No, Fred.
Don't you dare say it.
Yeah, DevCat.
I think I need a bath.
Bump, bump.
Um, good thing.
I also made a little steam pocket here for anyone to uh, you know, just have have a schvitz after their ice skating time.
It's always nice to go from cold to hot, you know, but then you need a towel.
That's the really that's the horrible part, and i can't help you there.
I won't need a towel, i have my sweater, Okay.
Uh, well, I mean, I can help you take a bath, but I don't have any soap.
Uh, hey, Septuple Axel, you have any soap?
Of course, man.
I am a bar of soap.
Oh, I forgot.
And Septuple Axel shaved off a little bit of his hair and flung it like a boomerang towards Miss Lin.
Oh, thanks, Septuple Axel.
All right, Fred.
Anytime.
You're not You're not gonna fight against me in this bath, are you?
Normally I would, but there's something about this sweater.
Oh, wait.
You know you have to take off the sweater in order to have a bath.
So let me just.
What are you doing, Miss Lin?
I'm...
I'm washing you with the sweater on.
I'm rubbing the soap on the sweater.
Onto you.
That was smart.
Yeah, but no, I should take the sweater off so that I can finish the bath.
Nope, nope, nope.
Keep the sweater on.
Keep the sweater on, Fred.
Hold on.
Close your mouth right there.
Yep, yep, yep.
Okay, all soapy.
Let's get it rinsed off now.
Fred the dog. had for the first time ever in What If World taken a bath without complaint.
This is amazing.
It's like I have superpowers.
You know, personal hygiene is actually very important for dogs, squids, and humans alike.
Yeah, I get it.
Uncle, can you help Fred out with some magic drying power?
He's going to get a cold in this wet sweater now.
That depends.
Can you knit a sweater for a squidopus with an infinite number of tentacles?
Deal.
The end.
Okay, all right.
Yes, indeed.
You know, ice skating is hard.
With a magic sweater and magic ice skates would make it easier.
But you know, I think one of the main things that makes anything easier is practice.
Sure, and fred was finally brave enough to practice.
He still even fell down, despite having four legs and magic ice skates.
But i like that.
I like that he kept going yeah, and tried new things.
I mean, he didn't know that that sweater was gonna make him like baths, but maybe maybe, now that he's had that experience and realized that the bath was not so bad with the sweater on maybe, you know, He could have a bath without the sweater on.
Yeah.
How about you, Lynn?
Was it enjoyable to ice skate in What If World?
You know what?
It was so Well, I felt so safe because I knew that it being What If World, nothing bad could happen.
And even if I fell, you know, I wouldn't have like a big bruise the next day or anything.
Right.
It was enchanting to be out there.
It felt like flying out on the ice.
And I wish the folks at home could have seen you and Fred's dance routine.
It was stunning.
Thanks.
I mean, we did spend a lot of time on it.
We just didn't know that we were going to be on the ice when we finally did it.
But he's a great partner.
Bye.
Hope you enjoyed that story.
Thanks to all the kids submitting their what if questions and stumpers.
And of course, thanks to our host, Miss Lynn, for putting it all together every month.
Grownups, remember.
If you want more Stump, Mr Eric, and to listen to What If World ad free, just head to whatifworldpodcastcom.
Slash support or go to the show notes and try out Star Glow Plus today.
Thanks for listening.
And until we meet again, keep wondering.
Hey there, folks.
The What If World family is moving.
So we want to raise money for the ACLU and clear some merch out of our garage.
We've got stickers, postcards, pencils, our own custom storytelling card game, and so much more.
All the proceeds go to the ACLU and the cost of shipping is included.
This is one of a kind What If World merch that will never be made again.
So go to whatifworldpodcastcom slash shop and go for the Mega Pack for 25, shipping included, or just the sticker pack for 5.
Help us get ready to move and raise money for the ACLU by going to whatifworldpodcastcom slash shop today.
Thanks, friends, and keep wondering.
