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Hey everyone, we have a really fun sidebar for you today.
And it's all about a restaurant that holds a very special place in my heart.
But first, a quick story.
A few weeks ago, a bunch of people sent me a TikTok video.
I'm sure a lot of you probably saw it too.
It was of a woman who had gone on a first date with a man and she was refusing to get out of the car when she realized she had been taken to a cheesecake factory.
This is the cheesecake factory.
This is the cheesecake factory, y'all.
What's the problem with that?
This hit me in my soul.
Seriously.
And then a few days later, my heart broke again.
The list of places women supposedly will never go on a first date went viral.
I have no idea who wrote it, but it just went everywhere.
On the list, Cheesecake Factory took number one, followed by the Olive Garden, Chipotle and Chili's.
I couldn't believe this, and honestly, I couldn't take it.
The Cheesecake Factory has been this weird consistent force in my life where I know that, no matter where I am, if there's a Cheesecake Factory, I just like know I can find consistency and the same thing at every place.
And as somebody who fears change, that is important to me.
So I texted my producer, Jesse, and we decided to prove the world wrong.
We met up at my beloved Cheesecake Factory, mics in hand, and we recorded an episode to show everyone that a date
And no, this was not a real date.
Jesse and I are just colleagues, but we wanted to sort of role play it out that a date anywhere with the right company can probably be a pretty good experience.
And the thing is, there's so much to talk about at a place that you might even think is cheesy.
So I learned plenty about a producer I thought I knew really well.
And just because we were both open to having a different kind of experience, we had a pretty good time.
I also learned that Jesse is afraid of birds that are in malls.
And I think that's really interesting.
Talk about first date, good conversation fodder.
I just, you know, there's so much to learn.
So Cheesecake Factory did not sponsor this episode, but honestly, give us the money they should.
Hey, it's Meredith and I'm here with producer Jesse and we are at one of my favorite places in the world, the Cheesecake Factory, which had a pretty bad reputation lately for First dates.
People say it's not a good place to have a first date.
But I'm going to try to prove everybody wrong right now.
Let's do it.
I'm not getting out of this car.
I don't know.
So the reason I've chosen this location is because it's in the fancy mall.
It's like a little more upscale.
Also hilariously, this Cheesecake Factory has everything patio like, like like you're sitting in a tropical plant area, but the patio is inside the mall.
So we are currently on the patio looking at a Bloomingdale's home furnishing store and a Uniqlo.
It's lovely, it's like meant to look like you're outside but you are actually like fully inside the mall.
But I feel like a fancy lady and it feels like to me, like in Game of Thrones, that like southern city place, like those vibes to me for some reason.
But also there's these winter holiday decorations and i want to be clear like this isn't.
I'm not saying the cheesecake factory is the best place for a first date.
I'm just saying that, like if there are no other alternatives, it's just so um, like the inside looks like a womb or a cake or a, it's like soft and the lighting is really flattering.
And And if you're like wow, we really did not make reservations or plans, like let's just fucking go.
And then, I mean, I'm excited because, like, I have a standing order, so I know what I get.
But I want to see how long it takes you to pick something.
And I'm sure I'm going to learn a lot about you, just like based on whether you go for like, a glam burger or something else.
Like, who's to say?
I don't know.
Putting the pressure on.
Yeah.
Like, this is like reading somebody's horoscope to them.
Do you feel like you've learned about people at the Cheesecake Factory?
Yeah.
I do.
I feel like, even if it's as simple as somebody gets overwhelmed by the menu, I'm like OK, that's good to know right.
Like too many options.
I don't like too many options either, which is why I pick one thing and go with it.
You know, my friend and I, close friend and I lived together for years.
And if the Cheesecake Factory was busy, we would be good at getting the bar tables.
You have to sort of stalk them and jump on them.
And we used to call it our own little Olympic sport.
And like, is somebody good at that?
You're a real master of the Cheesecake Factory.
I wish I could tell you.
And I just want to be clear, they are not sponsoring this.
They really should.
I really should be on the payroll.
And I've, yes, done a lot of reading about who runs this place, the history.
It's all very weird and interesting and odd.
I don't know why this place is different than other places to me did actually?
Yeah, i'll get a diet coke and a water.
Have you done a podcast on a date?
So this we're making history.
Yeah, in many ways, so i'm honored for that.
The last time i was at the cheesecake factory was uh, for dinner before prom senior prom in high school.
So to me it is also that is basically a pretty fancy date.
Do you remember what you had?
I have no idea what i what i had, So is there a strategy I should take for the menu?
This is like a Myers-Briggs situation where I just want to see how you like.
Let me just watch.
Let me just.
Okay.
The chili crunch shrimp pasta.
Is that a crazy?
I would be curious to see it.
I'm excited for you.
I think the avocado egg rolls is something we should do if you've never had one.
I've never done that.
It's exactly what it sounds like.
But holy shit.
Actually, this is a weird story.
Years ago, I did a story about Shaq's ex-girlfriend.
Now ex-girlfriend.
Shaquille O'Neal.
Shaquille O'Neal.
And I did this big story about his then-girlfriend, Hoops, who you may remember.
I think she was on a dating reality show.
And he had moved to town to be on the Celtics.
And she had come.
And she was getting to know Boston as an out-of-towner.
And I did this big story about her.
And, you know, she was very nice and very funny.
And...
I went over to his place and I think it was hilarious because I was doing this big story about her and he realized really quickly how much I didn't know or care about sports.
Like I asked him where he played in college and he looked at me like, you don't know.
And I was like, I don't even know if you played in college.
I don't even know.
Does one play in college every time?
But many months later or maybe a year later, he left the team.
They moved.
They returned to pick up stuff.
And she asked basically if I wanted to get like a last coffee, which I normally don't do with sources.
But it was like one of those, like putting a bookend for her, I think, on the experience of being there.
And when I got there, she had some of his kids were there from my memory.
And she was like, I got I got to feed these kids.
Like, where do we go?
And I was like, there is only one answer, my friend.
There is only one answer.
And so you took you went to.
Cheesecake Factory with Shaq's kids?
I guess I did.
You know, like life is weird, where you're like, I think I'm just like.
But anyway, my point, my greater point is is that the Cheesecake Factory saved me that day because I was like I don't know.
You know we were in like kind of you know a neighborhood where it's harder to take a bunch of people with different dietary needs out.
Wow.
And Well, I feel like it just served you well as well, because I feel like another big part of First Dates is telling good stories, and you know, i love basketball and i love shack.
I don't know if that was intentional.
I actually have a picture and i can.
I'll post it when we if this goes in where i am sitting at the table not cheesecake factory table, but his own table This was actually.
This mall was one of the last places I went to, including this cheesecake factory, right as things were about to shut down.
So this is an important place.
I have a lot of memories of this particular cheesecake factory.
After the break, Jesse tries avocado egg rolls.
I give my thought on that viral video.
And we talk a little bit about Barbie.
Barbie.
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Yes.
Thank you.
All right, so is this what you thought it would be?
It is not.
This is a lot more avocado than I expected.
Yeah, they're not messing around.
I mean, they were doing fusion before so many were doing fusion.
They were like we're going to stick this avocado that is like kind of Southwestern straight up into this egg roll.
Another thing I'll say about this place is that TVs are minimal.
Even at the bar, they're actually not very big.
So there's not a lot of like sports bar distraction.
Yeah.
Everybody can be present with each other.
They're so present.
Cheesecake Factory is about being in the moment.
Yeah.
Understanding the moment.
Another nice thing about the patio too, is that you can, in the moment with the rest of the community, get some good people watching.
Yeah yeah, kind of like looking at it's like lady buying t-shirt.
Should we talk about the video?
Yeah, so my thing with that video is from and correct me if i'm wrong is that she was late, wasn't that?
Part of it was that one of the reasons they were going was that she had taken some time getting ready and so at the time that they went to dinner, there was not that much open.
Yeah, or something she.
She had work or something she.
Yeah, i mean no one's fault.
But, like you know, we live in a city not like new york, where people stop serving food after a certain point.
I mean, it's not as early as some other cities, but it's not like new york where you can walk in at three in the morning and yeah, And what I will say is, if you come into the Cheesecake Factory, you're not going to get a.
Oh, we're out of this.
We're not quite doing this.
Like you're not going to suddenly walk in and be like oh now there's a nightlife scene where we can't hear each other.
It's some consistent shit.
So your experience is pretty much going to be the same.
And in fact if you show up late you're probably better off, because there's like a kid family time.
That is a little bit wild.
So that was the first thing where I was surprised she didn't get out of the car and was judgmental about it, because
It just was the most convenient, easiest thing.
When I saw the list that was later put out about you know I think it went pretty viral about places not to have a first date, and Cheesecake Factory was number one.
I was baffled.
And again Applebee's.
If you want to come in and be a massive sponsor of the podcast and give us all the money you know fine, that's fine.
But they're not.
So I will say I would rather live inside of this Cheesecake Factory for the rest of my life.
Yeah.
In like a in like a apocalyptic world.
This is where you are now and you must exist here forever.
Then do that in an Applebee's or while Olive Garden's got the salad.
I just some of the other places on that list.
I was like shocked that Cheesecake Factory scored so low with people.
Yeah, it was almost compared to like any fast food chain like Diner Food Denny's, I think, was on the list.
Have they not gone?
Have they not come here?
But the list, I mean, the list was tough too because it kind of ruled almost everything out.
It was like we can't go to a bar for drinks.
One was ice cream, right?
One was like don't go get ice cream.
I'm like ice cream, unless you're horribly lactose intolerant, in which case get some sorbet.
Like just don't date.
Oh, here we go.
No, that's okay.
Thank you.
I had a thought on the, on the video that I wanted to share with you.
Okay.
So I think a lot of the reaction was calling out the woman for not going, which was like, I think, where first of all she messed up was she was filming.
Yeah, I don't even know.
How do you even get the video unless the whole thing is like – Yeah, she didn't need to do that.
But I want to say something about the guy and I have sympathy for him because first dates are hard enough.
Being filmed would make me flustered.
It's hard to say what you feel and think anyways and then you're on camera.
Then you're – I can't imagine how flustered that would make me.
But he did say one thing when he responded to her about her expectations for – you know how she wants to be treated.
He was like, I have expectations to that the woman needs to cooperate.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck that.
Yeah.
Fuck that.
And it reminded me of Barbie.
Oh, what part of Barbie?
The part I know you love as well.
When Barbie is tricking Ken into thinking they are a couple and Ken tells Barbie, can we go to the beach and can I sing at you?
And i thought for me, that scene kind of unlocked something in me that like oh, i grew up having this fantasy, as a lot of my guy friends did of like oh, i'll go, i'll have a date or something and at some point in my relationship i will sing at, i will pull out my guitar and i will absolutely woo this woman into falling in love with me.
But the way she wrote it as sing at you, It's like no, the guys have this fantasy of chivalry or whatever, where it's not actually rooted in caring and doing something for the person in front of them or making them feel seen or special.
It's about looking cool.
Well, it's interesting because, as someone who has been sung at, I feel lucky to have been sung at in my life.
And I am from an era where no one sang Matchbox 20 to me, but they might've sang Plush by Stone Temple Pilots.
So younger people, you will Google that and be like, oh, this song, right?
But I think it is incredibly sexy and exciting to see someone be good at something.
And I think it's why- Which me and a lot of my friends are not that good at singing.
But even like if you go to a concert or I have seen men in my life who are musicians play and you're like, oh my God, I am falling in love with this person.
But it's usually when they're playing for an audience, when they're playing for multiple people, when they don't know someone's looking, when they are like actively engaging with their craft without being like eh.
Like the idea that you are basically an audience of one and the other person is waiting for your big reaction and you're just sitting there like that's a.
That's a different experience.
Yeah.
And I do think just in terms of, like other films, it is possible to sing to your significant other or person you're trying to impress.
And it can be rooted in caring.
So, like, my mind... I saw No Hard Feelings recently with Jennifer Lawrence.
I did, too.
And he sang.
And I loved that scene.
Oh, but he's singing for the restaurant.
He's singing for the restaurant.
She asked him to.
He's singing a song that she... Is meaningful to both of them.
Is meaningful to both of them.
And he's great.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just watched that with Brett.
And it's great.
And that is such a great example.
And also not really a real-life example of how often you get up in the middle of the restaurant and serenade a group.
But it is...
It is different.
I mean the other thing I will say about and this could be because I'm a former like musical theater kid a little bit is that the act of singing with someone is very fun, even not for everybody, but being a part of something, even if you're not singing, but you're given something to tap while somebody else sings, that doing something together.
I will tell you the person I am with the Fiona Apple song Hot Knife.
Oh, I don't know that one.
He heard it.
It's a very percussive song.
It's pretty acapella.
He heard it.
He loved it.
He's not a good singer.
He turned it on and was like, we're going to do this together.
And this is going to be our car song.
And we learned different harmonizing parts.
We sound terrible.
We have never performed for anyone, but it was like this is not someone singing at me, nor would he ever.
It's not his thing, but like it was an activity.
So even if you're like guitar guy, you can just be like, okay, now this is your turn.
Now this is like, it's, it's involved instead of just sitting there.
Yeah.
I love that.
Update, we did finish our food.
I have a little bit of leftovers.
It just gets you.
That's what they do.
I will say that if this is going to be gross, I get ready, but if you do subscribe to like the third date is special wink wink for certain reasons, maybe don't go here on date three.
No.
Because I just ate like Well, there's a party here tonight.
You know the band is out of sight.
They'll have you jumping from your seat.
And you can eat some of the best that you can find.
I'd like to order something fried.
With smashed potatoes on the side.
Thank you for treating me to my... I feel like the problem, I barely remember the cheesecake.
This night you'll remember forever.
I will not forget.
Love Letters is a production of the Boston Globe and PRX.
Today's episode was produced by Jesse Remedios and Scott Hellman.
Ned Porter does our audio mixing, sound design, and mastering.
Maddie Mortel does our audience engagement.
Love Letters Illustrations by Ali Reza.
Our marketing coordinator is Maggie Taylor.
Special thanks to Linda Henry.
Our music is from APM.
And remember, Love Letters is an advice column.
Send all of your problems, worries, and troubles to loveletters at boston.com.
We'll answer.
Or online at lovelettersshow.
By my head, we might as well be outside.
This is nature, the patio.
You never know what's gonna happen.
No, it's like it's well behaved.
How romantic is that?
A bird, a mall bird, just landed.
I'm a little scared of birds, though.
Oh well, okay then, never mind.
I'm meredith goldstein.
Thanks for listening.
