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New Year's is my least favorite holiday.
I don't care for New Year's.
I don't celebrate New Year's.
If you're able to focus on just one thing that went well this year, one thing that surprised you, one thing that made you happy.
What would you say to someone who feels behind at the start of the year?
Behind who?
Behind according to who?
Is there judgment?
No.
You can.
Slight judgment.
Setting intentions is good, but you don't have to do everything in January.
There are days where I'm like, please, someone.
This is the first year where I feel hopeful.
I'm shaking her hand.
We did it!
Very voice hugs-y.
Voice hugs 2026.
Welcome back to Voice Hugs, a podcast on becoming your best self and embracing all seasons of life with open arms.
This is your host, Viv and Ro.
So for those of you who are tuning in, through video and you're seeing this.
Hi, this is Viv here in post-production on her webcam.
So we actually lost the first minute or so of the audio in this week's episode and we really didn't want to start the season off with wonky audio.
So here I am, I'm going to fill you in on the first minute-ish of the conversation.
We have a new addition to the Voice Hug Studio.
We recently got these really cute bubbly pastelly ceramic letters that spell out voice hugs.
We actually ordered these in the summertime.
It took a long time for them to make it because of the ceramic process.
And then we also didn't realize we had ordered it from a different country.
So that took a while for it to get here and we'll be adding hopefully more to the wall as the season progresses.
Before we hop back into the episode, Ro and I just want to share a huge thanks to everyone who has tuned in to season three thus far and to all of our day ones who have supported us throughout the years.
It means so much to us.
If you'd like to continue supporting us, ways you can do that is by sharing our episodes with your friends, your loved ones, subscribing to voice hugs on spotify youtube, apple podcasts.
We have been loving reading your comments and your dms and responding and chatting with you guys, so please don't be shy, continue to say hi and, as always, we appreciate you so much and we hope you enjoy today's episode.
We just talked about this right before we hit record, but this episode is coming out in january, but currently, as we are recording, it is still december, almost january.
Yes, so we wanted to do a classic voice hugs new year episode to talk about just what's on our mind the new year goals dreams, wishes and just answer some questions Yeah, about the new year and how sometimes it can be a great thing.
Sometimes it can be like a lonely thing or a time where you're really hard on yourself or you're judging yourself.
Lots of pressure to set goals and intentions.
And so we're going to get into all of those new year things.
January things.
January things.
We will start though with our... feelings jar to describe our week for this week.
Yes, you can do the honors.
Okay.
Viv is reaching into the jar.
Viv is pulling a card from the jar.
Okay, this week, we're going to describe our week with a popcorn flavor.
Oh, popcorn flavor.
The one that comes to mind is one from Costco.
It's popcorn, that is, it's basically chocolate covered popcorn.
No, but i actually baked a cookie, not a cookie i.
I baked a dozen cookies using these popcorns and it was really good.
How does that describe my week, though?
Maybe a little sweet, a little salty.
Why was it sweet and salty?
You might ask.
Why was this so deep?
What a great start.
This is really hard.
You can give as much or as little context.
I think, okay, so we are in the holiday season right now.
That's why the timing of this is really off.
Okay.
I think the timing of the mental gymnastics of what time it is now and when this will come out is messing with us.
So, you know what?
Christmas is in two days.
Christmas is in two days, but this episode is coming out a month later.
Anyways, this week was sweet and salty because...
I don't know.
I feel like the holidays, it's just like a really sweet time.
But the salt is maybe like a little kick, a kick to the sweetness.
Yeah, like I'm so unprepared for this holiday season.
But in general like, I love Christmas and I love the cold which is surprising because I didn't think that i did until more recently and i think yeah, the holiday season is just like such a sweet time now, but i feel very unprepared, very unprepared.
It makes sense because you literally just planned a whole thing for your.
Can we call it a wedding celebration?
Wedding celebration yeah, and we can talk a little bit more about that in the next we will.
We're gonna dive deep into that, why i can't even call it a wedding.
Sometimes like, it's just hard for me to even say that yes, but yeah, all the tea will be spilt.
Yes yes anyways, your popcorn.
My flavor the week oh, my god, what was this week?
I don't even remember.
This week i just a good good old butter caramel, like a little sweet, like a sweet um, kettle corn, kettle corn yeah, just sweet, short and sweet, i like it.
I should have said that.
That would have been easier to explain.
Classic flavor yes, there's like any other week.
No, i'm just kidding, every week is very special, but i think, as of right now, even just like my son, i love my son.
But sometimes being a mom is just, you know, some days are more demanding than others, and today viv came over.
I was like i love being a mom.
No, but really i love being a mom.
But there are days where i'm like please, someone help, you should tell your massage story.
Oh okay, so the thing is, this thing always happens to me.
Every time i'm like oh, my god, today's gonna be a great day.
Um, like i love being a mom, i do love being a mom.
It's like oh, like i love this life that i'm living.
I get humbled real quick.
So woke up this morning.
James usually takes care of the baby from like 8 to 10 when he first wakes up, because I just take care of him overnight and feed him many, many times, which is all biologically very normal.
And today I was like I'm just going to book in light of the new year, right in light of having been thinking about what I want my life to look like in 2026.
I was like okay, I need to take better care of myself because me having my cup fuller will allow me to show up fuller in person and just like be happier and be calmer and all that.
And so I was like, I'm going to book a lymphatic drainage massage, right?
I just saw some girl on Instagram get it.
I was like, oh, this is something that I've wanted to try.
Let me go try it.
So I was researching and I found this lady who's just like a miracle worker with her hands.
Like all her reviews were like, I could not get pregnant.
But after going to her, I got pregnant like right after.
Because she just does like a lot of like pregnancy postpartum, fertility massages on top of all these other types.
So anyway, long story short, I go there.
I'm like, yes, tell me everything that's just wrong with my body because I'm so stressed.
And then she first starts with the lymphatic.
So like I told her, I was like, okay, you can start with the lymphatic drainage.
But if at any point you're like okay, she really needs help in this areas, or she needs to relax, or she's really stressed, or she needs a deep tissue,
Like I was like, please just do whatever you want.
And so she starts and she's like, oh, you're not that swollen.
I'm like, great.
Yeah, pretty healthy.
You know, your lymph nodes are flowing, which is great.
I'm like, great.
It's like, oh, yeah, you know, my shoulders like because I hold the baby.
It's like, oh, you're so breastfeeding.
I'm like, yeah, I'm so breastfeeding.
She's like, oh, let's work on your shoulders.
And she she feels it a little bit.
And she's like, oh, yeah, not too tense.
Yeah, I'm not. i compared to other moms you're breastfeeding like you're you're doing amazing and i was like oh i am wow okay well i was hoping you would tell me i'm very stressed so i can go home and wave it in front of my husband i am so stressed i'm working so hard I mean, obviously all of this is a joke, but yeah, I was like, oh, like I was actually surprised that.
Well, am I surprised?
I'm relatively healthy.
Like I don't really get sick that often.
I think you're really healthy.
Yeah.
So I don't think I'm that surprised, but I did like it does feel like my shoulders are really tight.
I think you wanted some validation that you're going through a lot too.
Yeah.
Your body is like, no girl, you got this.
Yeah, fragmented sleep you good um, but yes.
So that was my week in popcorn, kettle and drizzled chocolate.
Have you thought about anything for the new year?
Yet i feel like i'm always thinking about the future.
So yes, what have you thought about?
And do you have any dreams and or wishes and or goals?
So I just got married, right?
So I feel like that just aligned with the new year timeframe.
And thinking about the new year and I think some of this I'll talk a little bit more in the next episode too, but it's like a new chapter.
Like it's...
When you have these milestones in your life, like entering high school, and you have classes all day long and you're walking into the different buildings which is new from middle school or elementary school, you kind of just approach it with a new mentality.
It's almost an opportunity for this new newness.
And so, for me, I think, entering 2026, there's a lot of hope, there's a lot of excitement, there's a lot of new traditions or memories that I want to create and capture.
New hobbies.
There's just so much.
There's a lot of newness.
And I haven't really felt excited for a new year in a long time.
So this is really refreshing.
And yeah.
So it's like everything's exciting.
You're very hopeful.
Were there specific things that you were looking for or like you're looking forward to?
The first one that comes to mind is junk journaling.
And Ro and I are going to start junk journaling together.
I actually didn't even know what junk journaling was until you mentioned it.
And then I looked it up and I was like, oh my God, this is so cute because I keep all of my...
I don't keep all my trash, but like I like to keep my like tickets and stuff.
And I used to collect business cards.
You know, I was just thinking, I was like, we should call it something that's not junk journal.
Cause I feel like it's not junk, but like I get it.
But then I'm also like, but what else?
A joy journal.
I don't like that.
Yeah.
So I'm looking forward to junk journaling.
I still want to continue ceramics and maybe a little bit more traveling.
Hmm. yeah i'd like to go to europe yeah and yourself myself well i don't know if this is funny or not but literally two weeks ago we came back from san diego from a trip with our friends in new york friends from new york and i was like james i get it now you go out and and do your thing work on your businesses have fun go to coffee shops like i want you i want to support you so that you can be the breadwinner and just go out and do your thing right and so this guy literally fell on his knees threw his hands up in the air was like hallelujah like when did you come to this realization when did you come to this enlightenment and this I will also talk more in the next episode where it's just this like journey of motherhood and identity throughout.
So that was literally two weeks ago.
Okay.
And then this week I was like well um, there's still the podcast that we need to record and i really want to work on this notion worksheet for a new new year reset thing, because i'm going to do it for myself, so might as well make a video out of it.
Um, and i also think i thought of 24 video ideas for next year, which is just, you know, documenting month by month me going through my you know notion worksheet and then accompanying that it's every month I want to do like a 30 day challenge, like meditation, sleeping early, et cetera, et cetera.
So, um, yeah.
Like, can you spend some time taking care of our son too?
And he just goes, what?
That was so short lived.
I know.
So I've been thinking a lot.
And it's this like ongoing journey of what do I want to do?
What do I want to be like?
How do I show up?
I think like with motherhood, identity, YouTube creator, all of these things.
I just I don't know.
I think I sat down a few days ago and I was like, why is work important to you?
And I think the fact that it is like something bigger than myself, that it is very like purpose driven.
It is very trying to help other people, or help people like my younger self, because that those are the reasons I was like okay, this is actually very important to me.
So what can be done?
Or like, how can I change my schedule without affecting James's schedule too much?
And this is like a huge thing.
Like if you're not, if you don't have children yet, it's not as relatable.
But if you do have children or if you're thinking of having children and you also are kind of type A when it comes to taking care of your kids and you just want to be there for your kid all the time or, like you want you or your partner to be there for your kid,
And then if both parents want to work or like have something to do, there will be like a trading off of schedules.
And like it's always shifting.
And that's like the tricky part.
But what we found is we just talk about it every week.
And then sometimes, yeah, we just talk about it every week.
No, I mean, I think it's hard to be.
I think you have to be super fluid and flexible when it comes to that.
And also to kind of help paint a picture, both of you guys work on your own businesses.
That's like what your career is and you both work from home.
So it's not like someone goes out and does a nine to five job and then comes home.
And so the separation is very clear.
I think to start off with the separation is there is no separation, and so, if you just think back to, for example, the pandemic right, a lot of people had issues figuring out how to work from home, because you're at home and the environment is very blurred.
But i definitely like see that with you guys, because your jobs are at home yeah, your schedule is made by yourself both of you, not just one.
Yeah yeah, and so like figuring that out together yes, so i think the thing that i was trying to get at is yes, the thing that i'm trying to connect and link everything to is i realize what i need to do is just sleep earlier with the baby, like i already i put him to sleep and i just lay next to him, but a lot of times i'm like reading, or sometimes i'm playing games, or sometimes whatever right, So I should go to sleep with him so that I can wake up early before both of them and have at least a few hours for myself to do what I need to do, so that it doesn't cut into James's time.
Like the daytime.
Yeah.
And i think that is, in my mind, what i'm really honing in on, especially beginning of this.
I'm already starting now, but then, like for sure january um, just sleeping by 10, 30 if not earlier, and just kind of see where that goes.
And yeah, i think for a lot of us, if we can fix our sleep or if we can scroll less, Or if we can be less, um like bombarded by like quick hits of dopamine through social media or through our phones uh, it could do a lot of wonders for us.
So that is what, that is like the main thing that I like funneled everything down to.
But yeah, I've, I've thought deeply about 2026 because I'm doing the notion worksheet.
It's pretty, it's pretty lit.
I haven't thought that deeply into 2026, so this will be really fun.
Question time yes, we have a list of questions that we would love to go through, and these are more.
They're less like what we want and or what we're doing, but just more the feelings that come with new year and the feelings that come with newness and new beginnings.
Yeah, um could be both um a happy, positive thing, or it could be a time of grieving or um, not as positive moments.
Yeah, i think, especially when i think about the new year, we're always like oh, new habits, new routines.
We got to be productive right, this is when everyone goes to the gym and whatnot.
So less about that and more about the feelings behind that.
Yeah yeah, very voice hugsy, Voice hugs 2026.
Okay, first question.
Are we ready?
We're ready.
I feel pressure every January to reinvent myself, but honestly, I'm tired.
How do you set intentions for the new year without burning out before February?
This we know about burnout.
Yes, when was the last time you burned out?
I don't think i've.
I think about burnout as much these days okay, i was gonna say the same.
Oh, she's continuously burning.
The fire is just always burning.
There's no out, but this is.
But this is great.
You haven't thought about burnout for a while?
Yeah, i haven't.
So this is actually a great question for my like 2025 year, because one of my goals for 2025 was to not burn out.
Like I wanted to be able to live a balanced life and achieve like the things that I wanted for myself, without burning out.
Granted, we did take a whole year off of voice hugs.
But you did so much.
Yeah, I did so much in 2025.
So I think it's still really important to set intentions, to visualize where you want to be, to manifest the life that you want.
But how i approached 2025 was i know i want to travel.
I'm going to travel this year.
I know i'm going to quit drinking i'm going to do that this year.
I know i'm going to move move like my body more and work out and eat healthy.
And my goal was also to get married, which that happened right, so It was not doing it all at once.
So I did not touch those goals in February at all.
The only thing I did– Sorry, in January at all.
The only thing I did in January was I booked my Korea trip because that was a big travel that I wanted to do.
And then I just went into ceramics.
It was like, let's just do one thing at a time.
It wasn't, I'm going to do ceramics and then I'm going to also eat healthy.
And then I'm going to go work out after work.
It was like one thing at a time.
And what I found throughout the year was, as I was done with one or like over doing one of those tasks, then the other one just kind of naturally came.
So, for example, with drinking, i knew i was going to drink in korea and i wanted to enjoy my vacation there, but i also knew that i was going to quit right after, like i was going to stop, and so leading up to that, you kind of take your time to adjust your.
What was korea?
Korea was in april.
Okay yeah, a little.
A little mental timeline for the.
So january to march was ceramics, korea was april.
May i quit drinking.
I started working out in september, so it was almost like i know it's like just throughout yeah, the no, but there was a time jump, oh yeah.
So summertime i just kind of enjoyed summer.
Oh, that's yeah without, without drinking yeah, mm-hmm.
I did work out throughout the year, though just more inconsistently.
But I kind of felt like the drinking tied with the working out because once your body just feels a little bit healthier, it helps with any healthy things that you do, right?
Like when I work out, I just tend to eat healthier.
When I don't drink, i have energy the next day because i'm not hung over or like um things like that.
So yeah, i think setting intentions is good, but you don't have to do everything in january.
Yeah, you can just do it as it comes.
Yes, this is beautiful, because this is exactly what my worksheet is.
Oh, is it really?
I'm excited.
Yeah, I'm excited for you to see it.
But it's basically, by the time this episode is out, it'll be out, so I'll link it down below.
But it's basically setting your values.
So then values, as we did before, it's just buckets of your life, right?
Like, whether it's physical health, whether it's financial health, whether it is mental health, whether it's career, whichever.
You basically pick three to five and then you brain dump everything you want to do within those categories.
And then you slot it into the quarter so that you're not overwhelmed.
And then within every quarter it breaks down into just the three months, and then you also slot it in.
And I actually – creativity is one of my pillars.
Mm-hmm.
And then I wrote junk journaling and then it's starting in Jan because we're going to do or like for us.
We're going to start in January.
Right.
And so I like added in and it was like Jan and then it just January.
Just seeing it on the calendar made me so excited.
I like seeing it on the worksheet.
Yeah.
And like you said, I feel like a lot of times when we want change, we want to change everything now.
But I think that is what makes it hard and what makes it unsustainable.
And I think what... you shared is so beautiful because it's like in retrospect too, right?
You realized like you had the foresight to be like don't do too much, but these are all the things I want to do.
So you naturally gravitated to them anyway.
And, like you said, I feel like very similar to my goals of like i want to wake up earlier, i want to do qigong, i want to meditate, i want to eat healthier, i want to work more i mean, i want to work out more and just all these things kind of all tie together because if i wake up earlier i'll have more time to do qigong and meditate, etc etc.
And so yeah, i think, to be very honest with yourself of what you want and then just allowing yourself, i think just putting it, setting it for a later time, but like having it somewhere so that you can see and reflect and be like oh, these are all the things that are so important to me.
They can still guide you in the right direction.
And, whether it's like in a worksheet, whether you write it in a notebook, just have it somewhere where you can refer back to on like a monthly, weekly basis or whenever you feel crazy.
That could be really helpful.
And also to not go too hard yeah, with the, with the things that you want to do.
Yeah, like definitely have moonshot goals, definitely challenge yourself and stretch yourself, but if you're already feeling tired, then maybe rest is what you need.
And I can say that this past year was like a resting year, even though it's like momming full force ahead, but like everything, like everything else just kind of sat on the back burner, which I wouldn't trade for anything.
And being a mother forced me to stop everything else.
Right, sometimes you need that, sometimes your body is the thing that's forcing you.
But yeah, if we're, if we listen to our heart and if we listen to ourself, you will know what you need.
And also to remember that we're in this for the long haul.
Yeah, we don't need to do everything this year.
Right, we have many, many years to come.
Um, but what are like the foundational things that you can work on that you know for yourself will help you get out of the funk.
I think, also with the foundational stuff like the values, that was really loud in my mind this year, like working out wasn't just I want to get in shape or I want to look a certain way.
It was, holy crap, I'm middle-aged now and I'm in my 30s and your body's not the same and I have to work out because I want these habits and these routines to, I want to feel the effect of it in my 40s, And so some of these things that I've always had as my intention, or like a bucket like oh, I want to be healthy this year.
It was actually really important to me.
And so that made it easier to.
Yay.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Okay.
Question number two.
How do you tell the difference between a goal you actually want and one you feel like you should want?
Just get off social media for like a few days and just get back in tune with thyself.
Yes.
Yeah.
I agree with that.
Period.
Yeah.
Like all those new year recaps, just don't watch anything.
Yeah.
I mean, it's too, by the time, by the time this episode's out, we're into Jan.
Well, it's okay, because I still think– Okay.
So right before I got married, I was asking a lot of my friends who are married couples if they had one piece of marriage advice.
And one really stood out to me, even though it's so simple.
He basically said are you on social media?
And I said, yes.
And he was like, don't compare your marriage to anyone else's.
Like your relationship with your partner is just yours and your partner.
So like, don't compare.
And I feel like that's relatable for everything, right?
Like don't compare your body.
Don't compare your career.
Don't compare your wants and your needs.
Everyone has different needs.
Everyone has different like desires.
So yeah, i think like the best example is like pilates is trending right, but maybe you hate pilates, right?
So like don't, that is a very clear thing of.
The most annoying thing is, i feel like my hobbies are all trending and i actually like these hobbies, like i actually like ceramic, but i think that's also the thing, right.
Maybe you can spend the time to try out the trending things to see if you like them.
And if you do it and you're like, oh my god, i hate pilates, but i love like sprinting or running or doing this like more niche type of workout, that's not like cool or cute, but just do the thing that works for you.
Yeah right, or like same thing with like note, like never mind, i'm gonna, we don't need to give another example okay, Exactly.
So don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself.
Okay, next question.
Do you ever go into a new year still grieving parts of the last one?
How do you hold space for both hope and heaviness?
I feel like we're both very forward thinking people.
I'll say this.
New Year's is my least favorite holiday.
I don't care for New Year's.
I don't like celebrate New Year's.
Huh?
Do you love New Year's?
No, just go.
You're heartbreaking.
I don't like plan a party or like countdown as I just watch TV with, you know.
I love the New Year in the sense that it It's just an easy way to compartmentalize a period of time.
But kind of bringing this back to what I was sharing in the beginning.
This is the first year where I feel hopeful.
And I don't know if it's because all the previous years maybe there was this like continuity of grief or like heaviness that I had held on to.
But this year feels different.
I don't know.
I feel like I need to be more specific.
No, but I think what came to mind was I think it's the glass half empty or half full, where you can see the new year as another milestone or like another checkpoint where you haven't done anything that you told yourself you wanted to do, or you can see it as like a new chance to try again.
And I think sometimes, when life is already heavy and you already feel so blah, it's hard to see the glass half full, to be like okay, I can try again.
It's more just like, oh my God, again.
And then maybe Oh, here comes the new year.
Let's see what crappy things happen this year.
Yeah.
So I think it's a matter of perspective.
And yeah, you know, it's easy for me to sit here and be like you can just change your mind and you could, you know, see it a little differently, because obviously we don't know your situations and all your situations but i do believe that a little bit of gratitude you know like we talk about this in every episode, we have episodes dedicated on gratitude um, that if you're able to focus on just one thing that went well this year, like one thing that surprised you, one thing that made you happy, and like sitting in that feeling and then allowing that to kind of maybe turn things around.
Yeah.
And then also that, like when a year ends, that doesn't have to define how you define your time and your timeline right.
Cause your timeline is your whole life.
So the 12 month period doesn't have to be like, what did I achieve?
Or like, what are all the things that happened in that 12 month timeline?
You don't have to see it that way.
And you can just see it like the long we're in it for the long run, right?
Where do I want to be later on in the future?
It's all man-made time, right?
This concept of time is wild.
Yeah, so i think like the.
The last thing i will add is you can restart any time of year.
Yes, so if you just want to sit in your feeling, if that's what you need right now, just do it like it's fine.
You can start anytime, anytime.
That's why we love the concept of seasons more, because it's more fluid.
Yeah,
I feel like this episode is all about fluidity and flexibility.
And gentleness with thyself.
Yas.
But also if you need some toughness, just change your perspective.
I'm just kidding.
I just showed a fist to the camera.
Anywho, what are your non-negotiable routines and which ones have you intentionally let go of?
I feel like your routines drastically changed this year after finding out that you sometimes don't even do your skincare. yeah all routines went out the window my routine is my baby's routine yeah and i was very okay with that but i think i'm getting to the place now where i'm like okay i think we can we can prioritize yourself myself again or just get my routine in check i'm glad i think that's important for you it's wild and good for you yeah non-negotiables yeah i don't have any non-negotiables right it's crazy your baby's routine is your non-negotiable yeah you absolutely have to do that yeah yeah yeah giving myself time but next year next year will be different yes we'll report back but then again it's it goes back to like the trying the early morning routines and seeing where that goes that's the sleeping early is the new yes routine yes i don't really have non-negotiable routines either do i I have habits that are in place for so long that they don't even feel like routine.
Like I mean, I like wash my face.
Do you miss drinking?
Oh, well, that feels like a habit.
I don't miss drinking.
Yeah.
Because I know it's like a big thing.
Yeah, that was really hard.
So, to give context, I don't even know if we maybe already talked about this, but I wanted to quit drinking for years, like years.
And it was tough, too.
I think I wasn't in the right environment and it wasn't a priority.
Yeah.
To be very clear.
You don't have a problem.
No, i don't.
It's just, it's just a lifestyle decision.
I just i just want everyone to talking about drinking like i like drink on a daily basis, which you know.
If you do that, it's okay.
I understand the habit and the need and the desire and like, the inability to like put a drink down right, and so i mean that's why there's all these programs and stuff.
Anyways um Yeah, it wasn't to that extent, but I just didn't want to rely on it to take the edge off.
Yeah, on a weekly basis.
Ceramics takes the edge off now, right?
Yeah.
Does it or does it add more to the edge?
A little bit of both.
Sometimes it adds more to the edge.
Yeah.
Ceramics is a humbling process.
It teaches you a lot of life lessons that you don't always want to learn.
But yeah.
The only other routine that I feel like is non-negotiable for me but it's not like a hard non-negotiable is I always start my week planning for that week.
So I have a planner.
I have a to-do list every day.
It's a fluid list, but that really helps me set my week every week.
Beautiful.
Okay, my non-negotiable for next year is to do the yearly quarterly monthly weekly, daily planning, to do all of that.
Well, just to review, right.
So, like you do the doing the yearly planning now, bringing into quarters that, like i reflect, i like review every quarter and then every month you like review the monthly, but then you also look at the big picture and the little and then anyway, that's why i created the work, the work sheet.
I don't even know if it's worksheet is the right term for it, but because this year was so fluid, i wanted structure for once in my life.
That's not true, i had a lot of structure yeah, but it was kind of like for structure of like you go into work and then you come home and then things are built in um, but this is kind of like creating new.
Yes yeah, Yes.
Dovet.
Okay.
There are two more questions.
Okay.
And then we get in and out.
Yay, i'm so excited we'll have to share in and out.
I know what's.
What is your in and out order?
Okay, so my in and out order is a cheeseburger, toasted buns extra, extra lettuce, whole grilled onions chopped, chopped chilies um, with light well fries.
And then, fun fact, on my usc college application, there was like a short 10 questionnaire thing.
It was like what's your favorite non-fiction character?
What's your favorite book?
What's your favorite food?
I put my entire in and out order.
She knows.
And she got in.
Yeah.
Okay.
My, my, I don't even know if this is a flex, but I share a similar palette as Zendaya.
Zendaya.
Zendaya.
Zendaya.
I really liked the grilled cheese, so the grilled cheese is basically just i gotta judge me, i'm just kidding.
Please tell me you're.
It's a grilled cheese with one slice of cheese, because it usually comes in two, but it's too much.
One slice of cheese, grilled onions.
Sometimes I will do whole grill.
Sometimes I'll just do grilled onions, extra lettuce.
Oh, so there's lettuce in there.
Yes.
It's not just... It's a cheeseburger without the patty.
Patty.
But everything else like the... Oh my God, you thought I was just eating two buns and cheese?
Okay, but then...
If you order a burger without the patty, that still sounds crazy to me.
But okay, context, even more context, okay?
So growing up, I was vegetarian.
Yes.
Like ever since I was in my mother's womb, my mother was already a vegetarian.
So when I came, and this is like, I lived in Taiwan with my family's in Taiwan.
And then when I would come to the States and my mom would take us to McDonald's and she'd be like, order your own thing, just to teach us how to be like independent.
And so i'd go up to the counter as, like a little five year, i'm like hi, can i get a cheeseburger without the meat patty?
And they'd be like okay, it's gonna be the same price, because this is like in the 90s, so like veganism, like non-eat meeting is kind of it's kind of weird or like it wasn't.
It was just not as it wasn't common.
Yeah, yeah.
So they're like openly, yeah.
So like okay, it's still gonna be the same price.
I'm like yeah, it's okay.
So then i remember my first in and out burger my cousin took us to one summer.
I like got a cheeseburger without the buns, right.
So then that was like my youth, right.
And then when i was in, when i was older, in high school, i would like, obviously just get a cheeseburger.
But then one day i was like oh, my god, grilled cheese is a thing.
Oh yeah, it's like an order, yeah.
So then i was like wait, but i've been like, i like it, yeah.
So that is that what you're ordering tonight.
Yes oh i, literally i get it every time i go.
What?
Yes, why don't i remember this?
Because i know i've been to in and out with you once.
I think it was oh yeah, around here, vegas road trip.
No oh, maybe.
Okay, our baby's coming.
Is there judgment?
No, You can.
Slight judgment.
Slight judgment.
But that's only because like... It's not a cheeseburger.
It's not judgment if you're like vegetarian.
Yeah.
Right?
But now that you say it.
See, this is why you should never judge, because you don't know the full story.
You don't know the full context.
Is it because I'm using my free will to choose?
No, I think now that you painted the picture of this is your childhood, this is nostalgic.
You were vegetarian since you're in your mother's womb.
I'm like, okay, yeah, I like it.
I like it.
Yeah, I'm okay with it.
But that's why you don't judge.
There.
Okay, we just did a huge detour.
Two more questions.
Okay, two more questions.
And then Buddy's outside.
He just crawled over.
Okay.
How do you celebrate growth that isn't visible or measurable?
So something that's not quantifiable.
I feel like this is hard for me.
You know what?
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
I want to know what i think by how good you feel like.
I think in general, i feel so much better in life, like this year, like 2025 was probably like one of the best years and in the last 10 years, for so many different reasons and layers and all of that.
So and it's part of that is because i feel like i'm a different person.
I feel like I've grown and there's nothing that can quantify that.
It's not how much is in my bank, it's not how many workouts I went to or my mind's blanking on other quantifiable things, how long I haven't been drinking yeah, I've been doing so many therapy sessions I've been to.
Like that's not the growth.
It's how I feel showing up in life every day.
And it's really – not scary to say that out loud, but I never thought I would say that out loud.
I never thought – that I would just sit here and be like, my life is good.
That's like crazy, you know?
Like everyone should feel that way.
But I think like being here now and knowing how hard I work to like work through all these thought patterns and habits and routines and like rewrite the narrative in my mind.
It's a great feeling.
And it's important to celebrate and indulge sometimes and just be present in it.
And so-
I think that's the growth.
And even stuff like with you, being a mom and feeling the... Sorry, my hands are so cold.
It's okay.
I'm so proud of you.
Being able to execute the life lessons you've learned, I think that, again, not quantifiable.
You can't put money on that.
You can't put a number on that.
I'm shaking her hand.
We did it!
We did it!
Yeah.
You're like, ditto.
Yes.
No, I just said it was hard in the beginning because I feel like I'm not the type to...
Some people are really good at vocalizing or just sharing their wins.
I'm like, it's okay.
People don't need to know, want to be more low-key in that way.
So I think sometimes again, you could log on to social media and just start scrolling and see what everyone's doing and feel very very, very small about yourself.
But then that takes away from you spending time just being with yourself, being present with your feelings and realizing that wait, maybe I actually had a great year.
It just doesn't look like what it looks like online.
So yeah, what was the question?
Something growth quantifiable.
Oh, how do you celebrate growth that isn't visible or measurable?
Oh, how do you celebrate?
Oh, how do you celebrate it?
Man, with friends.
Sharing it with friends, I think.
Being able to say it out loud with someone is so special, right?
You don't have to share it with the world, but if you share it with one other person, it makes that win real one.
And then two... someone who has seen you go through it.
That was a feeling that I felt at my like wedding celebration, where I was like damn.
This is the care team that I nurtured for the last five years.
And they all showed up to celebrate this like moment with me.
And that is like, that is like a growth celebration.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think like sometimes just looking around you too and seeing the people around you and the love around you.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, and be like, yeah, I did that.
Yeah, we did that.
Yeah.
That is beautiful.
I take some of the credit.
Okay, last question.
What would you say to someone who feels behind at the start of the year?
Take your time, girl.
You can stay behind for as long as you need.
And when you're ready, you might be sprinting while other people are slowing down.
Mm-hmm.
I made up a holiday in my 20s and I would celebrate that holiday in the middle of the year.
You can make up a holiday too.
And that could be your new year.
It was so funny because I texted you this year.
I was like, happy Viv Day.
And you're like, oh my God, I didn't realize.
Yeah.
Because she didn't need it anymore.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, just what she said.
Your timeline starts whenever you want to start it.
It can start on your birthday.
It can start on Lunar New Year.
That's a trick that I used to do when I was younger.
I'm like, oh, I'm Chinese.
I get another try.
A month from now?
Yeah um, or you know, august 12th, who knows like, whatever you want, and it's also behind who behind, according to who like.
Who are you like?
Who are we grading you?
Yeah like, and it's also worth taking some time to figure out.
Like, who are we maybe comparing ourselves to?
Because if it's anything external, then maybe it's not worth your time.
If it's internal, it's just things that you need to reflect on.
Reflect on yes yes, amazing.
Can't wait for 2026.
Yay, maybe we can.
Yeah, we'll do like a mid-year check-in to see how everything is and then at end of year, as always amazing, ready for some.
We are ready for in and out in it, in it, that's wait.
I want to ask about the whole grilled onion.
Do you like that better than grilled onion?
I feel like sometimes it gets very like onion-y.
I like both.
Sometimes I put both in.
Oh.
Yeah.
But it's whole grilled, right?
Not raw.
Because you can get it raw.
I don't get it raw.
I like it grilled.
Okay.
Yeah.
Why do I get whole grilled onion?
Because she's different.
Because she knows the secret menu.
She knows fries light well.
Fries light well.
Only way to go.
Okay, I think that's it.
Okay.
Time to eat.
Voice hugs.
Love you.
We're hungry.
Bye.
We got this.
Sending love.
Wherever you are in the world, the biggest voice hug.
