I woke up this morning with a craving. Not for a specific pasta dish, a specific pastry.
No, nothing of the sort. Today I woke up with a craving for self-exploration, to learn more about me.
And I know exactly what that means. I need to go online and take personality quizzes.
Not ones backed by science that will give me real accurate results, but unreliable personality quizzes with questionable results.
That's what I need today. And so that's what I'm going to do today.
I've taken the personality quizzes that are backed by science.
In fact, I actually just took one recently.
I paid $60 for it. And it was weird because I spent like 30 minutes taking this test.
And then at the end, it gave me my results and asked me if I thought the results were accurate.
And to be completely honest, I didn't think they were.
So I said no. And then it was like, okay, well, here's some information on all the different personality types.
Which one do you think is the most like you?
And so I selected one. And then it was like... congratulations.
That's your personality type. And I was like, okay, but why did I just take a 30-minute quiz and pay $60?
What? So now I'm just going to take the free quizzes with questionable results because it's more fun.
So that's what we're going to be doing today.
I tend to find my quizzes on wikihow.com.
Some of them actually have a little bit badge on them on the website that say expert, like an expert created the quiz.
I don't think the ones I'm taking today are made by experts, but maybe.
The first test I'm going to be taking today is a maturity test.
My prediction is the result is going to say I'm mature.
I've always felt kind of mature for my age.
But then again, when I look back at when I was like a teenager, I actually wasn't that mature.
Like I thought I was a lot more mature than I actually was.
So the same thing could be happening now.
Like I think I'm super mature now, but in 10 years, I'll look back and be like, not really.
So we'll see. This will potentially be really humbling.
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Now back to the episode. The first question is, do you feel like you have a good handle on your emotions most days?
I would say yes. I can be struggling and put a smile on my face.
You know, I can fake it till I make it. But sometimes...
I can't hide it. I'm not the best at hiding emotional challenges from others.
I don't know. Sometimes I need to vent about it.
Sometimes I'll be obviously grumpy, but I'd say I'm moderately good at handling my emotions.
However, I am somebody who in private can very easily become overwhelmed by emotions.
Publicly, I'm moderately good at handling it.
Privately, not the best. I would say kind of.
I would say I kind of have a good handle on my emotions.
Okay, next question. Your teacher just gave you constructive feedback on a project.
How do you react? To be honest, I think it depends on how much I respect the teacher.
Like if I really deeply admire a teacher and then they give me feedback, I'm going to take that feedback warmly.
In fact, I'm going to be excited to receive that feedback.
However, if I don't respect the teacher, I'm not going to take it as well.
I'm going to answer that I thank them and make a mental note for later, assuming that the teacher giving the feedback is someone that I genuinely respect and admire.
Okay, moving on. Next question. You and your friend get into a pretty nasty argument how do you patch things up?
I really don't like arguing. I mean, I think sometimes it's necessary in relationships to confront differences and to confront bad behavior.
However, I don't like a lasting argument.
A confrontational conversation that turns into an argument is one thing.
But I want that to be like an isolated incident.
I want it to be resolved by the end. I don't like a lasting argument.
And so I'd say in the case of a nasty argument, and I really need to patch things up, I would say I'm going to answer, I acknowledge the role I played in our argument and take accountability for my actions.
That feels like me. Okay, next. How often do you ask, how are you doing to your friends and loved ones?
Honestly, every single time I talk to someone.
So I'm going to answer at least once per conversation.
I'm pretty good about that. Okay, next. You just received a bad grade and are feeling super frustrated.
How do you react? In that scenario, I tend to turn inward and attack myself.
And And it might put me in a bad mood that people around me can sort of sense, but probably not to the point that like it's harming other people, but other people might be able to tell like, oh, something's wrong with her.
But majority of the frustration would be turned inward and I'd be beating myself up, just kind of like analyzing what went wrong, how I can do better next time and just being bummed out.
I'm going to answer, I don't talk about it, but I'm a little bit snippy for the rest of the day.
To be honest, that does feel like me. I wish I could say, you know, when something like that happens, I can fully push it out of my mind and handle it emotionally later.
But sometimes I can get a little bit snippy if something like that happens.
So... Next, do you feel comfortable expressing your feelings in a respectful way?
Yes. I actually think I'm very good at that.
I take pride in the fact that I'm a really diplomatic communicator.
Let me Google the word diplomatic, though, and make sure that I'm using that word correctly.
What is the definition of diplomatic? Of or concerning the profession, activity, or skill of managing international relations.
Okay, not, well, that's not what I mean.
Okay, hold on, I'm reading. What is a diplomatic behavior?
Someone who is diplomatic is careful to say or do things without offending people.
Yes. I am very much that. I am by nature a people pleaser.
And so becoming confrontational has been somewhat unnatural and terrifying for me.
And I think it's safe to say that I'm very diplomatic about the way that I confront people. and express my feelings.
So I'm going to say yes, definitely. I can share my feelings without blaming other people.
That's my answer. Locking it in. Moving on.
The new gadget you want costs $200, but you only have $100 saved up.
What's your next move? I mean, if I really want that thing, I'll try to find a way to make $100.
That's kind of the plan, I guess. The options are ask my neighbors if I can do some chores for a little cash.
I ask my friend to loan me the rest of the money.
I patiently save a little money over the next few months, or I guilt trip my parents until they give me what I want.
I'm going to say I ask my neighbors if I can do some chores for a little cash.
That feels me coded. Okay, next. In a given conversation, how much time do you spend talking about yourself?
See, it depends. If I'm talking to somebody who is not particularly chatty, I will just talk the whole time because you can only ask so many questions and get so many short answers before it's like, all right, I don't know what to do in this conversation other than just tell stories about myself because otherwise there will be no talking.
However, if I'm talking to somebody who's particularly chatty, I might not talk about myself at all.
I'm very much a chameleon with conversation.
So I'm going to say about 50%. It's an even split between myself and the other person because I really do determine how much I'm going to talk based on the other person.
When I was younger, I think I used to talk a lot more about me and people got much less airtime.
But now that I'm older, I'm a bit more tired.
And so it's closer to 50%. How often do you set aside time for self-reflection?
Um, obviously a lot. Look at me right now.
Literally look at me right now. You know, this is a hard question to answer because I don't feel like I necessarily set aside time to self-reflect.
It more just happens naturally. I think I self-reflect every day in one way or another.
Maybe that's a bit generous. Maybe twice a week.
But I don't plan it out. Like, I don't think I have to do that.
I'm not at a point in my life where I need to plan it out.
I kind of am in a routine of constantly sort of checking in.
So I'm going to answer once every few days.
Next, a friend just disagreed with something you said.
How do you react? I'm pretty open to that.
If I'm friends with somebody, that means I respect them and their opinions.
So if they disagree with me, I'm all ears.
However, how I respond depends on what they disagreed with.
If they disagreed with something that I truly really believe, I might say, oh, I guess we disagree on that.
And then... move on. If they disagree with something and maybe I'm not super firm in that belief and them disagreeing makes me question my own belief, then I might ask them further questions about why they disagree.
I'm going to say I ask them about their opinion.
I'm so intrigued to hear their thoughts.
That's my answer. This episode is brought to you by Chime.
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Get tickets now. Okay, next question. Do you like to gossip with your friends?
Whoops, sorry. Yes, I do. And I'm not proud of it.
It's one of my toxic traits, I would say.
I do love a little gossip. I love to know who's dating who, who's breaking up, who's in a fight, who did something bad.
Like, I love that. So I'm going to answer absolutely.
I love to hear the latest tea. So Ari, that's my answer, sorry.
Okay, next. Your peer wins an award that you were hoping to get.
What do you do? Listen, it never feels good to lose.
However, I'm not such a competitive person that I can't handle it.
I'm really good at playing it off. Like, I don't really care.
Like, if my peer won an award that I wanted to win, I would clap.
I would smile. I would congratulate them.
And only on the inside would I be a bit frustrated.
I would be a bit frustrated on the inside, though.
I'm not... so morally advanced that appear beating me, like wouldn't bother me on the inside.
I'm not there yet. So I would say, well, let's see what the options are.
I smile and congratulate them. They earned it.
That's option one. Option two, I give them a shout out, but I don't really mean it.
Option three, I roll my eyes. They probably became a teacher's pet in order to win.
Option four, I complain to my friends about how I deserve to win.
Fff. I would say the closest answer to me would be I give them a shout out, give them a shout out, but deep down I'm like, ugh, that sucks.
Okay, let's see what my result is. It says, wow, it says I'm really mature.
It says here, you're about as mature as a person can be, which is really saying something.
No matter what happens, you're able to stay cool, calm, and collected, all while keeping your fingers on the pulse of a situation.
Keep up the great work. You're definitely someone that your friends and loved ones should be looking up to.
Wow. Okay, that was a huge ego boost. Maybe that's why I like taking these quizzes because I feel like they always give me the result I wanted to get.
Or maybe, maybe I've just done a lot of work on myself and I've earned these good results.
Okay, let's take another quiz. I'm going to take a quiz that tells me if I'm funny.
It says, take this quiz to see how funny you really are.
I'm a little bit nervous. Question one, what kind of response do you usually get when you crack a joke?
It depends. I get good laughs, but sometimes I make a joke and it falls completely flat.
But I don't really take it personally. I don't put that much effort into the jokes I make.
I don't really think a lot about what I say, to be honest.
I just say shit. Some of it's funny. Some of it's not.
I don't know. I don't put enough effort into my jokes or into my humor to pay that close of attention to the responses.
Do you know what I'm saying? I'm going to say it's hit or miss.
That's my answer. Okay, next question. Which classic gag is the funniest?
Prank calls? A gun that shoots a flag that says bang?
That is not funny to me. A pie in the face?
None of these, honestly. I'm tempted to say none of these, but I do think a prank call can kind of be funny sometimes, maybe.
Although it's usually funnier, like the idea of it is funnier than actually doing it.
Like actually prank calling somebody is not that funny.
It's almost never funny. I'm going to say none of these, honestly.
Okay, next. Would you ever do stand-up comedy?
Probably not. but it's not impossible. Do you know what I mean?
Like I could weirdly see myself getting into that, maybe.
There's like a 10% chance that I could get into that.
So that's high enough that it's not impossible.
I would say maybe, but I'd be sort of nervous.
That's the answer that seems the most like me.
Okay, moving on. Choose the joke that you think is the funniest.
Number one. My IQ test came back. My results were negative.
Thank goodness. That's not funny. Next. What happens when you park your frog in the wrong spot?
It gets towed away. Okay. Option three. I spent all that money childproofing my house, but somehow my kids still get inside.
Option four, knock, knock. Who's there? No bell.
No bell who? That's why I'm knocking. No bell.
That one was funny to me. Oh my God. Why am I laughing at that?
That's so embarrassing. That's actually so embarrassing.
But that one was the funniest to me. Um, okay.
Next question. Choose a set of TV shows that you think are the funniest.
Well, knowing me, I'm probably not going to know any of these TV shows because I barely watch TV.
I've watched a few TV shows, but compared to the average person, I have not watched a lot of TV shows.
Okay. Option one, The Office. I have watched that.
Parks and Rec. I have not watched that. Ted Lasso.
That's like option one. I've only seen The Office and I did love The Office and it is hilarious.
Okay. Category two, option two, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Rick and Morty.
I've seen all of those and they are pretty funny.
They're a little bit too like obviously funny.
Do you know what I mean? Like they're making these broad, brash sort of jokes.
But I like those shows, though. They're fun.
And then option three is It's Always Sunny, Arrested Development, The Good Place.
Haven't seen any of those. I'm going to say The Office, Parks and Rec, Ted Lasso.
I've only seen The Office out of this category, but I feel like I like The Office so much that I feel comfortable selecting that answer.
Next question. Do you ever laugh at your own jokes?
Yes. Yes. Every time I make a joke? No. I would say now and then, but not always.
I think a lot of times I'm funniest when I don't even think I'm being funny.
My dad told me that once. He was like, you're the funniest when you don't even realize that you're being funny.
It's just you being you. And it's like, well, are you laughing at me?
But that is true. Like sometimes a funny thing will come out of my mouth on accident and I won't laugh at it because I didn't think I was making a joke.
But then later I think about it and I'm like, oh, that actually kind of was funny.
So yeah, now and then. Next, what kind of joke do you usually find the funniest?
Okay, my options are, number one, all kinds of jokes.
As long as they're witty, I'm laughing. Option two, slapstick or physical comedy.
I like to use my body. I don't like that.
Option three, quick one-liners or dry humor.
Option four, dark humor or controversial humor.
Honestly, I kind of like all kinds of jokes as long as they're witty.
I feel like that's my answer. I usually don't like physical comedy or slapstick comedy.
Like, that's not for me. But listen, if somebody does it well, I might laugh.
So I'm going to say all kinds of jokes. Next, have you ever gotten in trouble for telling a certain joke?
Yeah. I mean, probably, especially when I was younger.
Not anymore. Okay. But when I was younger, I think I was a bit riskier with my humor when I was younger.
Like I would say whatever to get a laugh.
I would push the fucking limits. Okay. I had no bounds.
I'm going to answer. I've taken a joke too far now.
And then, yeah, that's only because I used to make crazy jokes.
Whereas now I don't. They were never like super like rude or insulting.
They were never like morally wrong. But when I was younger, I was more experimental and I'd maybe say something that was a bit insensitive, like jokes that I wouldn't maybe make now.
Okay, next. Choose the funniest insult. Option one, stop stealing my oxygen.
You just waste it. Not good. Option two, I'd never underestimate you.
It's not possible. Not good. Three, oh, your face just reminded me that it's trash day.
That is a horrible insult. Like not funny, mean.
I don't like it. Option four, you seem smarter in your picture.
I like you seemed smarter in your picture.
It's like lighthearted enough to not be too mean, but it is kind of funny, I guess.
Okay, next. What role do you play in your friend group?
Option one, the responsible mom friend. Option two, the party animal.
Option three, the reliable and level-headed friend.
Option four, the friend who's hard to get a hold of.
I feel like I'm the reliable and level-headed friend.
I might also be the responsible mom friend, but I don't really give mom vibes and I'm very much the youngest in my friend group and in my social circle.
So I don't necessarily feel like the mom, but I do feel like the reliable, level-headed friend.
I'm not the party animal because I don't drink.
I don't really party very much. I don't go out very often.
I'm not the party friend. And I'm not the friend who's hard to get a hold of.
I'm actually pretty easy to get a hold of, at least with my closest friends.
I'm the reliable, level-headed friend, I would say.
I do give a lot of advice to my friends, sometimes unsolicited, but they're still friends with me, so the advice must be pretty good.
Okay, next. Choose the joke format that you like most. stories with a punchline at the end, puns or anti-humor, your mom jokes, or practical jokes or pranks.
Don't like your mom jokes. I'm not an 11-year-old boy.
Don't like practical jokes or pranks. In fact, I hate them.
I actually, like, it's a pet peeve of mine.
I don't want someone to hide behind a corner and jump out and scare me.
That's not funny. I don't want someone to call me and say, oh my God, I lost my dog.
Can you come help me find it? And then I go and help them try to find their dog.
And then like our other friend is hiding in a bush dressed up as a dog and like jumps out of the bush and like bites me in the leg as a joke.
That's not funny to me. I don't like that shit.
It's not funny. It causes me anxiety. None of that.
Stories with a punchline at the end and puns or anti-humor, I would say those are the strongest options, but puns are rarely funny.
So I'm going to say stories with a punchline at the end.
Okay, last question. When was the last time you cried laughing? cried laughing.
It's been a while. I don't cry laughing very often.
It kind of takes a lot for me to be crying laughing, but when it happens, it is magic.
I'm going to say in the last couple months, I cried laughing.
Okay. I have a bad feeling about the results.
I'm about to get my results. It's loading and I don't think it's going to be good.
Oh, it said you're naturally funny. You're a total natural when it comes to comedy.
This is This fucking podcast episode is turning into like me just stroking my own ego by taking these quizzes.
Like I'm not going to be coming off of these quizzes, like puffing my chest or anything, but the results are shockingly positive.
Like I need to take a quiz and get a bad result for the sake of entertainment.
But anyway, okay, fine. Well, while we're at it, let's just read my result about how I'm naturally funny.
You're a total natural when it comes to comedy.
It's like you have a sixth sense for humor that most other people don't.
You always know just what to say to get a laugh.
And you know just how to say it to make sure the joke lands.
But you also know when it's not the time for a joke and how not to overdo it.
Wow, that's wonderful. See, you know what?
It's nice to receive this result because I feel like I've gotten less funny over the years.
Just with growing up, I do feel like I've lost a little bit of my humor.
I think because when you're younger, you're just less aware.
Like I'm almost too afraid to be funny sometimes because I'm like, sometimes being funny, it does require a little bit of edge and risk.
And that scares me. more now that I'm older.
Well, it's nice to hear from this WikiHow quiz that I still got it.
Okay, next. What kind of girl am I? Take this quiz to find out what kind of girl you are.
I don't know what this is. I'm very curious about what it's going to say.
It's a very broad quiz. What kind of girl are you?
I'm curious to see what girly pop stereotype I fall into.
Okay, first question, how would your best friends describe you?
Option one, passionate, smart, and kind.
Option two, wild, free, and courageous. Option three, loyal, driven, and confident.
And option four, bubbly, energetic, and friendly.
I would probably say my friends would probably describe me as probably bubbly, energetic, and friendly.
I feel like that's the side of myself that my friends see the most.
Yeah, that seems right. Next, what do you think of when you look at a sunset?
I mean, usually when I'm looking at a sunset, I'm just like...
Wow, that's super nice. Look how beautiful that is.
I'm just kind of thinking about the sunset and that's it.
I'm just thinking about like, wow, what a bright orange color.
I'm going to answer how beautiful the world can be.
I feel like that's the most me. Okay, next.
Be honest. What are you daydreaming about?
Option one, my crush. Option two, my dream closet.
Option three, I don't daydream. I just worry.
Ooh, that kind of sounds like me. Option four, weekend adventures.
To be honest, I'm probably daydreaming about a crush.
And then if I'm not, because perhaps I'm like in a relationship, I'm worrying.
But for the sake of like, I don't know, I want to answer optimistically and positively, I'm going to say my crush.
Even though if I'm in a relationship, which I usually am because I'm just such a girlfriend kind of girl, I am probably like I'm worrying a lot and I don't have a crush.
But But I mean, not that I don't daydream about a boyfriend that I have, but it's just different.
When I have a crush, I'm obsessed thinking about them 24-7 because it's such a good distraction from my worries.
It's like the only distraction that actually works.
No other thoughts are consuming enough to distract me from my worries.
Next question. Which flower are you? Option one, tulip.
Option two, sunflower. Option three, daisy.
Option four, rose. I feel like I'm a daisy.
That feels like my aesthetic. You know, like the cute little like wild looking daisy with like the...
It's very simple, not super perfect. Like tulips are really stiff.
Roses are really stiff. Daisies are more like unusual looking, like the little petals can be kind of bent and stuff.
I don't know. That feels more me. Next question.
If you could only do one of these activities for the rest of your life, what would it be? reading, texting and calling my friends, traveling or making art.
I'm going to say making art. Traveling is a close second, but I really like being at home making art.
Like I think that's something that I like 24 seven.
Like I never get sick of that. Whereas traveling, sometimes I get homesick and I'm like, all right, I'm done.
I can't do this anymore. You know? And I love texting and calling my friends, but like, I don't do that that much.
I hang out with my friends in real life for the most part.
We don't text and call that much, so I'm going to say making my art.
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Next question, what does your dream home look like?
Option one, an artistic tiny home on wheels traveling across the country.
Option two, a quiet cottage hidden in the woods.
Option three, a glitzy apartment in a bustling city.
Option four, a cozy house nestled in a quiet neighborhood.
I'm going to say a cozy house nestled in a quiet neighborhood.
A quiet cottage hidden in the woods sounds nice too, but I do like having neighbors.
Like one of my neighbors is like this guy who I feel like if something bad was happening to me, I could call him and this guy would come over and he would fucking handle it for me.
I don't know how to explain it, but this dude who lives next to me just seems like a protector.
Yeah. And we don't live that close. He doesn't hear me listening to music.
I don't hear him doing whatever the fuck he's doing.
We're far enough away that we're not like, I don't know, on top of each other.
But he's also close enough that if some shit was going wrong, I don't have his number, but I should get it because I could call him and I feel like he would run over and he would help solve the problem.
I like having neighbors. I don't want to be alone in the woods.
That freaks me out because if something goes wrong, something gets weird, you're alone out there.
Two of my grandparents live deep in the mountains, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep in the mountains.
Like you got to really drive into the mountains to get to them.
And every time I'm there, I feel oddly calm and at peace and safe, but also oddly more in danger than I've ever felt in my entire life.
I can't explain it. There's something really unsettling about knowing that if you call 911, it's going to be two hours before anyone shows up.
But also it's hard to be found there. Like if someone wanted to find you, they'd really have to know where they're going.
You know what I'm saying? I don't know though.
I don't like it. So anyway, I'm going to say a cozy house nestled in a quiet neighborhood because at least there's neighbors.
Next question. Which of these things do you always have with you?
Option one, my water bottle. Option two, my planner.
Option three, a jacket. Option four, my pocket mirror.
I really do bring my Stanley cup with water in it everywhere.
I'm going to say that because I am a big planner girl, scheduler girl, but at this moment in time, I'm doing it all virtually on my phone.
So I don't have a physical planner these days.
I'm going to say water bottle. Next question.
When you're shopping, what do you gravitate towards?
Basic tones like white, black, and gray.
Neutral tones like green, navy, and burnt orange.
Bright jewel tones like pinks, blues, and purples.
Or soft, happy colors like yellow, purple, and red.
I would say the first two are the most me.
Basic tones and neutral tones. But I'm going to choose basic tones.
I wear a lot of black and white and gray.
In fact, those are my favorite colors to wear.
So that's my answer there. Some people think it's boring, but I think it's really chic and classic.
Sorry. Call me boring. It's probably what the result's going to be for this quiz.
It's going to be like, what kind of girl are you?
Fucking boring. But let's not jump to conclusions.
Let's wait for the results. Next question.
Which of these scent combinations are you most drawn to?
Lavender and vanilla, vanilla and cedarwood, rose and lemon, orange and mint.
I'm going to say vanilla and cedarwood. I do like sweet, rich scents.
Not super into florals. I do like citrus scents, but not as much as I like vanilla.
I'm going to say vanilla and cedarwood. That's the most me.
Next, which of these quotes speak most to you?
Oh, I'm going to love this. I love a quote.
Okay, option one, beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.
I like this quote. It's true, but it's also, it's a little naive.
Do you know what I mean? Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.
It's like, yes, that's true. But also we do live in a society.
We do where there's like so much pressure to look good.
We live in a cruel world. And I think that that's, It lacks balance, this quote.
This quote lacks the reality of like beauty standards and how hard it is to not feel the pressure from them.
Anyway, I think I'm overthinking the quote.
Let's move on to the next quote option. Whatever is in me is stronger than what is out there to defeat me.
This quote's okay, but I also feel like, at least for me, there are things out there that could defeat me.
No, you know what? I'm going to be optimistic about this quote.
I'm not going to be so literal. I do like this quote because I do think that, as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
And it is true. So I do think that that is a decent quote.
Okay, next one. Be happy with what you have while working for what you want.
Ooh, I really like that. I do think that that's something that I've learned over the years in a very visceral way.
Throughout my career journey thus far, I've really learned this lesson to be happy with what you have while working for what you want.
Because you'll almost never be satisfied.
You know what I mean? You'll always be working towards something.
So you have to enjoy the moment and be happy with what you have, not be yearning for the happiness that will come with getting what you want.
Does that make sense? I don't know, whatever.
So I like that quote. That might be the one that I choose.
Ooh, but this last quote is really good too.
Mistakes are the portals of discovery. I'm snapping.
I really like the last two. I think, wow, they're both really good.
I kind of like mistakes are the portals of discovery.
I'm going to choose it because it's also a quote that I need to remind myself of more often because I'm kind of a perfectionist.
And so when I make a mistake, even though I know it's a portal... of discovery, as this quote says, even though I know that deep down, I can sometimes forget that and get really angry at myself when I make a mistake.
So I'm going to choose that quote because I need to hear it more often.
Next question. What ice cream flavor are you?
Option one, mint chocolate chip. Option two, strawberry.
Option three, chocolate. Option four, vanilla.
I'd like to think that I'm mint chocolate chip because out of these options, mint chocolate chip is the most interesting.
It's the most unique, but it's also an acquired taste.
Not everybody likes mint. I feel like that's very me.
Okay, last question. Close your eyes and imagine your future.
What do you see? Option one, new horizons every day, culture, traveling the world.
Option two, I'm in my dream home, grabbing clothes from my dream closet, rising to the top of my career.
Option three, my family around the fireplace, we're all outrageously happy.
Option four, I have advanced degrees and I'm following my dreams.
I like to imagine my family around the fireplace and we're all outrageously happy.
You know, I have experienced living in a wonderful home, having a closet with more clothes in it than I could possibly wear and peaking in my career.
I've experienced that already in my life.
And there's nothing like being with family.
That is still the most wonderful, powerful thing.
And I hope that that's in my future. I don't really see like my idea of like a dream home is not, I don't even have that anymore.
I don't know. So yeah, I'm going to say my family around the fireplace.
Okay. Let's see what my result is. I'm waiting.
It's loading three, two, one. What is it?
I'm a girl's girl. Yes. That is an amazing result.
Wow. This is amazing news. If any of you guys thought Emma's not a girl's girl, well, fuck you.
Fuck you. Because WikiHow just told me that I'm a girl's girl.
And it says, I'm wise, mature, and undoubtedly kind.
It says, yeah, you're pretty awesome. It's saying this to me.
Yeah, you're pretty awesome. There's this elegant grace about you everyone admires.
That is so nice. You're not afraid to lend a helping hand or take someone under your wing.
You're practically mother nature. Okay, that's a little bit weird.
It says, people likely come to you for advice or when they simply need a friend, and that is not something to be shy about.
Own those motherly instincts, girl. They're more powerful than you may think.
Wow, I'm blushing. That's so nice. Okay, that's a wonderful result.
I'm happy to be a girl's girl. I do think I'm a girl's girl.
Are there moments when deep down, maybe I get jealous of other girls?
Maybe I feel a little bit competitive with other girls?
Absolutely. But it is my number one priority when I feel those feelings to rise above and to let it go and to support and love other girly pops.
Listen, I'm saying I accept my result as being a girl's girl, but I'm not perfect.
Like I still have thoughts that feel like they're not very girl's girl, but I think that's normal.
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Next quiz. This quiz is going to tell me if I'm too nice.
You know, I'd like to believe that I'm no longer a people pleaser.
This quiz is about to tell me if that's true or not.
Okay, first question. Let's say your feet hurt, but somebody else wants your seat.
What do you do? I'm immediately giving them my seat, to be honest.
If somebody, like if I'm sitting somewhere, like if I'm on a subway, let's say I'm on the subway in New York, which doesn't happen very much.
If I'm on a subway in New York, Somebody comes in and they're like, I really, I really need a seat.
Fuck it. They can have mine. Like, even if somebody doesn't necessarily like need my seat, if somebody needs my seat, no questions asked.
And there's no feelings of resentment, nothing like that's one thing.
But if somebody wants my seat and they don't need it, like perhaps our feet hurt an equal amount, but they ask like, Hey, can I have your seat?
Fuck it. They can have it. I just don't, I don't need drama.
You know what I mean? I'm going to choose the answer, quickly stand up and give it to them with a smile.
I'll be okay. Okay, next question. You run into someone that used to bully you in school.
They're not doing so well and need some spare change.
What do you do? Option one, give them all the cash in your wallet.
Option two, give them a few dollars, but keep enough for yourself.
Option three, tell them to stop bothering you.
They don't deserve any money. Option four, ignore them and walk away laughing.
I'm going to say, you know what? I'm at a place in my life where I would give them, would I give them all the cash in my wallet?
Probably not. All the cash in my wallet?
I mean, what if I just got cash? What if I have $300 in my wallet?
I'm not going to give them $300. But I would help them out a little bit.
But I don't need to give them all of my money.
That's okay. I mean, unless, you know what though?
If I had a really good conversation with that person and we talked about everything that happened, perhaps we talked about the situation that they're going through in their life.
Perhaps they share with me their plans to, you know, like how they're working on themselves, their goals in life. then I might give them all my cash.
But if a conversation like that isn't happening, I'm not just going to give them all my cash.
Is that selfish? I'm going to answer, give them a few dollars, but keep enough for myself.
That's not the most perfect, accurate answer, but that's what I'm going to choose because I feel like it's the closest to where I stand on this.
Do you know what I mean? I don't think you need to give all of your cash to someone.
Like, eh, it's a little weird. Okay, next.
You're walking and accidentally spill coffee on someone's shirt.
What do you do? I would literally freak out.
Like, this is my nightmare. I would do anything to help them.
My goal would be to just resolve the problem and get them back to normal.
I would offer to go to the store and buy them a shirt and bring them a new shirt.
I would offer to give them money to buy a new shirt.
I would give them my shirt. Like I would literally do fucking anything just so that they could get back to their normal lives.
Because that's what I would feel so bad about is like, oh my God, this person was like living their normal day.
And now I just fucked up their whole routine.
I just threw a wrench into their entire day.
And I personally hate when that happens to me.
And so I feel terrible when it happens to others.
I think the answer that feels the most me is apologize sincerely and offer to buy them a new shirt.
I think that's just the right thing to do.
Next, a classmate's birthday is coming up.
What do you do? Option one, surprise them with a basket full of their favorite things.
Option two, wish them a happy birthday, but that's it.
Option three, nothing. I don't know them all enough.
Option four, buy them a simple gift like candy or something.
If it's just a classmate that I don't know very well, I'm just going to wish them a happy birthday.
That's it. Sorry, I'm not going around buying gifts for just anyone.
That's not my love language. Ooh, maybe I should take a love language quiz.
Not today, but like another day. I don't remember what my love language is, but I know it's not giving gifts.
I don't care about receiving them. I don't care about giving them.
Sorry. Next, let's say someone is trying to start an argument with you.
What do you do? Option one, quickly apologize and drop the argument.
It's not worth it. Option two, stand my ground and match their energy.
I'll see this through. Option three, threaten getting physical.
I'll probably throw a punch or two if I have to.
Option four, drop a few good comebacks, but avoid stooping to their level.
I'm pretty non-confrontational in unnecessary argument.
Like if somebody's trying to pick a fight with me for no good reason, like it just feels like a fight for a fight, I might just apologize and drop the argument, walk away.
If it's with somebody I'm really close to, it's different.
Like I want to sit down and figure it out.
I'm going to say quickly apologize and drop the argument.
It's not worth it. I feel like if I'm not close with somebody and they want to argue with me, it's like, what's the point?
What's the point of arguing? What am I going to learn from that?
If it's with a stranger who's angry at me for some sort of surface level reason, that doesn't feel like a growth opportunity.
Like arguing within relationships, close relationships, there's opportunity for growth there.
But yeah, someone just trying to start an argument.
I don't know. I would say I'd drop a few good comebacks, but I don't even think I'd do that.
I think I'm too scared. I don't want to fight with people.
Next, someone intentionally knocks over your block tower after you spent ages working on it.
My block tower? Am I eight years old? I didn't think that this was a test for four-year-olds, but I'm just going to humor it.
I'm just going to proceed. Someone intentionally knocks over your block tower after you spent ages working on it.
What do you do? Option one, tell them it's fine, even though I'm upset.
I could make a new one. Option two, brush it off.
It wasn't really that nice of a tower anyways.
What the fuck? Okay. Option three, throw a block at them.
They deserve it. Okay, because I'm a 24-year-old adult and I'm going to throw a block at someone.
I don't understand who this quiz is for anymore.
Okay, anyway, option four, get mad and tell them off.
I worked really hard on that. I mean, if somebody like, I'm gonna try to put this into a context that actually makes sense for me in my life.
Like, let's say I was drawing a picture and somebody purposely like poured a cup of water on it.
I would get mad and tell them off. That's fucked up.
Would I throw the paper at them? Would I throw a pen at them?
No, but I would get mad and tell them off because I worked really hard on that.
Okay, next. A childhood friend misses your birthday party to hang out with another friend.
What do you do? Option one, yell at them, but eventually forgive them.
I guess life just happens. Option two, tell them it's okay.
It was a boring party anyway. Option three, cut them off completely.
I don't want to be friends anymore. Option four, not show up on their birthday.
See how they like that. To be honest, I might cut them off.
Now, I know that that seems extreme, but like my circle is pretty small.
And if somebody is not showing up, then maybe the friendship just isn't working anymore.
If I'm friends with somebody and they're not prioritizing me in their life and I'm prioritizing them, that's an imbalance.
That doesn't feel good. So I don't want to be in friendships like that.
So I would say cut them off completely. And I know that that sounds extreme, but I might do that.
OK, last question. A bully asks you for your lunch money.
What do you do? This is such an unrealistic, like I'm an adult.
Nobody's asking me for my lunch money. I'm not giving anyone my lunch money.
I'm going to answer, tell them no sternly.
It's my money and they can't have it. Okay.
That was like the worst quiz of my life, to be honest.
I didn't like that one. That one just, it was like the questions were not that good.
And like, I feel like I don't even trust the result.
It says I'm too nice. The result is that I'm too nice to people.
It says, it's official, based on your answers, you're too nice for your own good.
Kindness goes a long way, but you may have trouble standing up for yourself every now and then.
Try not to let other people take advantage of you.
Remember, your kindness is a strength, not something to be taken for granted.
Okay, I don't want to end on that quiz because I feel like I didn't learn anything.
Is it a coincidence that that was the first quiz that had somewhat of a negative result?
And I'm like, I hated that quiz. No, but we all know that those questions were not good.
Okay, let's take one more quiz. The last quiz I'm going to take is a quiz that's going to tell me my mental age.
Am I mentally a six-year-old? Am I mentally a 40-year-old?
Am I mentally a 90-year-old with unbelievable wisdom?
Let's find out by taking the quiz. Okay, question one.
You look out the window of your dream home.
What do you see? I would say something pretty peaceful.
Probably like a quaint, charming neighborhood with lush grass and beautiful trees.
Okay, that's one of the options. And I feel like that's probably what I'd choose.
Next question. A present arrives in the mail.
What do you hope it is? Option one, a box full of all the arts and crafts supplies I could ever need.
Option two, the brand new gaming console I've been wanting for months.
Option three, a warm plush blanket in my favorite color.
Option four, a shiny new robot vacuum for cleaning my floors.
Honestly, I do love a good blanket. So I would say a warm plush blanket in my favorite color.
I love blankets. I have a lot of blankets.
I don't really need any more. But out of all those things, that's what I want the most.
I do like arts and crafts supplies, but I'm happy with what I have.
And I don't like having too many arts and crafts supplies.
Actually, I'm going to go back. Maybe I do want that.
I think I actually might want that. Oh, Well, what if I got a present in the mail and I got a plush blanket and a box full of arts and crafts supplies?
That would be ideal. You know what? I think I'm going to choose arts and crafts supplies.
More fun than a blanket. Okay, next. It's a Friday night and you can't wait to... Option one.
Watch that honeybee documentary my friend was raving about.
Option two, have friends over for a low-key game night.
Option three, curl up in a chair with some tea and a new book.
Option four, go dancing with friends and stay out until dawn.
My favorite Friday night activity is not listed on here, and that's going out to dinner.
Out of these options, I'm gonna say have friends over for a low-key game night.
That sounds fun. I would love to do that.
Next, your alarm clock starts ringing at 7 a.m.
What do you do? I normally get up at around 7 a.m.
So out of all of these options, I'm going to say turn it off, get up slowly, and say hello to the new day.
That sounds like me. Uh, although sometimes I do wake up before 7am and so like my alarm ringing at 7am wouldn't even be waking me up.
I'd already be awake, but I'm just going to say for the sake of it, turn it off, get up slowly, say hello to the new day.
Okay. Next on your bookshelf, you're most likely to find magazines, filled up journals and my sketchbook.
That's option one, option two. Photos of family, treasured mementos, cute knickknacks.
Option three, my vinyl collection, candles, funky thrifted lamp.
Option four, old copies of National Geographic and rows of historical fiction.
I mean, the one that seems the most me coded is my vinyl collection, candles and funky thrifted lamp.
But I do have a lot of photos of family, treasured mementos and cute knickknacks as well.
And I think I actually prefer those items over the vinyl collection, candles and funky thrifted lamp.
Like I actually prefer the more sentimental stuff.
So I'm actually going to choose photos of family, treasured mementos and cute knickknacks.
But that I do really have a bookshelf that literally has a funky lamp, vinyl collection and candles on it.
That's just so true that I think actually I have to choose that one.
Never mind. Okay, I'm choosing that. Next, your wardrobe is packed to the brim with comfortable basics, business casual attire.
Who knows? I just wear whatever I grab first and whatever's in style.
I like to keep up with the trends. I'm going to choose comfortable basics.
That's a lot of what I have these days. But I do also have a lot of business casual stuff.
Oh wait, it's saying like comfortable basics is like sweatpants.
I'm going to choose business casual attire.
I have like skirts that look business casual, but to me, they're comfy.
Does that make sense? So I feel like business casual is the most accurate.
Okay, next question. If the world could see the most used app on your phone, what would it be?
Ooh. This is a good one. Wait, but the options are terrible.
The options are Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
Out of all of those, YouTube is definitely my top.
But my top used app in general would be texts.
I'm on text all day long. I work on text.
I'm like chatting with various people throughout the day on text.
Like I'm always on text. but also Google Calendar, but also Notion, my like document software that I use, an organizational note-taking app.
I'm on there for hours every day. But those aren't options, so I'm gonna say YouTube.
Okay, moving on. How would you describe your day-to-day emotional experience?
Option one, like a carriage. Slow, predictable, and pleasant.
Option two, like a lost ship, swaying and unsure of which way to go.
Option three, like a train, some jolts along the way, but steady overall.
Option four, like a roller coaster, up, down, and all around.
I'm going to say like a train because there's definitely some jolts along the way, but I do think my day-to-day emotional experience is pretty good.
I don't feel like a lost ship and I don't feel like a roller coaster, but I'm not as steady as a carriage.
I do think I'm very much trained. Okay, moving on.
Next question. When your closest friend describes you, they probably say that you're, oh my God, I've been asked this already today.
I'm going to say out of the options that they're giving me here, I'm stable, accomplished, and confident.
The runner up though would be playful, energetic, and hopeful.
But also I could see wise, contemplative and content as well.
The only one that definitely isn't me is wild, adventurous and always up for a good time.
I am always up for a good time. But I also like to like make dinner reservations, buy tickets for like an event ahead of time.
You know, I'm not the most spontaneous girl in the world.
If it was like just a friend describing me, I would say playful, energetic, and hopeful.
But because this question said your closest friend, how does your closest friend describe you?
I'm going to say wise, contemplative, and content.
Okay, next. You're on Jeopardy, and the category is TikTok trends.
How ready are you? Ooh, not at all. I haven't been on TikTok in like years.
Yeah. I'm going to say not ready. Okay. Next question.
You're daydreaming. What are you thinking about?
Wow. I also got asked this question earlier and I said my crush.
So I'm going to say the same thing again, because that's the answer.
Whenever I have a crush, that's all I think about.
And it's so much fun. Okay. Last question.
Which of the following quotes speaks to you the most?
Wow, this quiz is really just similar to the last one I took.
Maybe it's by the same person. Maybe the same person made it.
Anyway, I'm catching on to them. Option one, in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years. That's true.
Okay, I like that. I'm not obsessed. I'm not like, my jaw isn't on the floor.
You know, I'm not snapping. but I like it.
Okay. Option two, life will take you to amazing places if you have the courage to try.
I don't really like that one. It's true, but it's not hitting.
Option three, make the most of yourself for that is all there is of you.
That one stresses me out. That one has toxic vibes to it to me.
Okay, option four. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
That's true. I'm going to say my favorite out of these is in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years. Okay. Oh, interesting.
Okay. My result is my mental age is 30 to 35.
Interesting. See, that's interesting because I wonder if I was like 50, what result would I get?
Am I still going to be 30 to 35? Because my brain is almost done developing.
Am I going to be like mentally a 30 to 35 year old forever?
Or am I just that right now? Because perhaps I'm, you know what I'm saying?
It's very fascinating. Anyway, it says, you're more responsible and level-headed than most of your peers, but you still know how to cut loose and have fun.
Basically, you're the best of both worlds.
Wait, it doesn't know how old I am. Oh, but I guess just 30 to 35-year-olds are just kind of mature in general.
Okay, I see what it means. Because you understand the importance of balance, your life is stable, but also rich with exciting and fun experiences.
Going traveling with friends? Check. Trying that hip new restaurant downtown?
You're in. But you're always home at a reasonable hour, so you get a good night's sleep.
Taking care of yourself is important to you.
You're secure in who you are and don't really care about what other people think of you.
As long as you're happy and healthy, that's all that matters.
Honestly, amen. That's kind of true. Can I be honest?
I'm starting to realize these quizzes are pretty fucking accurate.
Me after getting a bunch of really like flattering results today.
If it was like, if I got like results that I didn't like, like if I took the like, am I funny quiz?
And it was like, you are not funny. I'd be like, it's so silly that I took these quizzes and that the results are unreliable.
But because I got results that I liked. Now I'm like, yay, I love these quizzes.
I actually think they're really good. I actually trust the results.
Anyway, that's all I have for today. Thanks for hanging out with me while I took these quizzes about myself.
I don't know what you got out of that, but I hope you got something out of it.
I hope at least you fell asleep while listening to this.
If this lulled you to sleep because it was so fucking boring, I'm happy with that.
I hope you got something positive out of this.
And if you enjoyed hanging out with me, have no fear.
New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.
Anything Goes is on Spotify and on YouTube with video so you can watch me talk and on all other streaming platforms, just audio.
So you can just listen to me talk. Anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes.
I'm on social media at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is in the world and online at Chamberlain Coffee.
I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always a joy to hang out.
Luckily for both of us, we get to do it again very soon and I'll talk to you then.
I think I need to go to bed. I'm like feeling really exhausted.
Something about taking those quizzes made me feel exhausted.
I feel like how I felt when I went to school and I would take finals for like hours and hours on end.
And I would just be so exhausted at the end of it.
I'd have to go to bed. I feel the same way.
Except the only difference with this is these quizzes don't matter.
But I'm equally as exhausted. It's so bizarre.
Anyway, okay, I'll talk to you later. Love you all.
Appreciate you all. Talk to you in a few days.
Love you and bye.
