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Hey everyone, this is Rosie.
I'm a brand new meditation teacher here at Headspace.
And before we start the show, I just wanted to jump in and introduce myself and tell you a little bit about what we have in store for you at Radioheadspace.
So, just a little bit about me, I'm an author, a yoga and meditation teacher, and an independent podcaster.
And I'm excited to announce that I'll be hosting Radioheadspace in February of next year.
I'll share stories about growing up in East LA, how to come back from mistakes and setbacks, and why staying true to yourself can help you achieve your goals.
So, I hope you'll join me in what I like to refer to as the month of self -love.
For now, and over the next couple of weeks, we'll be playing some of our favorite Radioheadspace episodes to help you work with feelings that come up at the end of the year.
Whether it's embracing change, or finding the strength to let go of unhelpful feelings you're holding on to.
You know, all the emotions that come with another year in the books.
Today, we'll hear from my good friend Dora.
Dora. She has some advice on how to care for yourself after setting boundaries.
This time of year, you may have had to set some boundaries at work, so you can spend much -needed time with the people closest to you.
Or, maybe you've had to set boundaries with friends and family members you have complicated relationships with.
Whatever the case, Dora has some advice to help you put self -care first. I hope you enjoy.
Hello, welcome to this moment to a brand new Monday and to Radioheadspace.
It's Dora here. Have you ever felt exhausted after setting a boundary?
It can be a lot of emotional work.
Up until recently, I started to realize how drained I was feeling after having a conversation like that.
It's often said that boundaries are an act of self -care, but I'm realizing that once the boundary has been set, self -care is also needed, especially if you're not used to asking for what you want or need.
It takes great vulnerability to say that you have limits, like telling your work team that you're not working past 7 p .m because you want to have dinner with your family or letting your friends know that you're too tired to hang out on Fridays.
I love what Dr. Brené Brown says about the aftermath of putting ourselves out there after taking that big emotional risk.
It may all go south and we may not get the outcome we hoped for.
Here's the thing though.
Being vulnerable also gives life to creativity, To joy, to courage, to authenticity and can help to strengthen the right relationships.
So when we set boundaries, as much as we think it's about the other person, it really has to do with ourselves.
Can we accept that things may not work out in our favor?
That the boundary may not be well received or that we really have no idea what to expect?
In doing so, the initial sting can be soothed and not linger for longer than it has to.
Just the other day, I was sharing in a group chat with two of my friends how tiring boundaries can be, and they felt the same way.
One of my friends from the chat said that she realized how much she had outgrown a friend of hers, and this growth started to reflect in their shared values.
We all agreed that maybe she should set certain boundaries around how much time they spend together in order to preserve whatever was left of that friendship.
So in the group chat, we were all role playing, helping her find ways to say what she wanted to say, but as compassionately as possible.
Fast forward a few weeks and she ended up having the conversation and despite her best efforts, her friend was deeply hurt and couldn't understand why things had to be this way.
Unfortunately, they ended up going their separate ways, but I reminded my friend that at least she was able to voice what she needed.
Prior to my friend having that conversation, we also prepped her with the fact that despite our collective planning, something completely different might happen.
This is one of the ways that we can navigate the exhaustion that can come from being emotionally vulnerable.
Being able to look at the big picture, taking on the perspective of the other person and embracing and accepting the fact that anything is possible.
A meditation teacher of mine encourages us to practice what she calls energetic hygiene before and after having vulnerable conversations with people.
The energy of the conversation may linger with you throughout the entire day, maybe even for weeks.
Sometimes I'll imagine a thick cloud -like presence above my head or around my body.
I'll envision it forming into a ball outside of me and sending it down to the earth's soil.
And this is just one of the ways that we can begin to emotionally clear other people from our personal space and stay connected to our own needs.
Now this doesn't mean that we don't care about them, but we aren't taking on how they feel.
I'll leave it there for now, and I also love being able to hear more about your experiences and thoughts.
So if you'd like find me over on Instagram at Dorakamow, and let me know how you found today's episode.
As always, so grateful to have you here, and I'll see you next time.
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