Oh, the mug has the little apple.
I love that.
It's all details here now, you see.
Very sweet.
I know.
After 10 years, we finally got ourselves into shape.
It's about time.
Very apple.
Any and every opportunity to see you, to say hello to you, to find out how your spirit is.
I'm so glad that all of the above is happening in real time.
How are you?
Thank you.
I feel the same way as I was walking in.
I was thinking I talked to you, definitely more than some of my family members, in the sweetest way, just because you have been so wonderful and you've seen me through a lot.
And it's been wonderful to see all of this happen for you.
Thank you.
I'm just, yeah, I'm in a really good place and I'm excited about what's happening.
We're going to talk about that.
And I just want to get this out of the way because it deserves to be honored and acknowledged.
Congratulations on finding, you know, happiness with someone in your life.
You get to share your experiences with.
And I'm sure that it was a wonderful, a wonderful occasion.
But doesn't it just get better in the days that follow, in the months and the years that will follow?
I definitely can agree to that.
It has been such a dream so far.
And I know it'll come with ebbs and flows, but it's the most beautiful person that I could do that with.
Yeah.
No, congratulations to both of you.
I feel like when we first started speaking, you'd lived so much life already.
And so it was actually pretty natural, I think, for the two of us who are curious about what goes on behind the music and is going on in the spirit of the human being.
Yeah. to fall into a deeper place pretty quick.
That being said, you have honored that work with increasing dedication in the years that have followed.
I think about the last 10 years even, and all the changes that went on when you put out revival and the anniversary that's upon you, and how much you've done for others, not just for yourself, in that time.
I guess my question Selena, is that when anniversaries come back around, do you allow yourself the grace to be able to acknowledge how far you've traveled?
Definitely.
It doesn't mean that it's easy to, because sometimes...
You can get stuck in a place and I'm just finally happy to say that I don't feel stuck.
It feels so beautiful.
And it feels wonderful and I think that's what I want to be now is everything and more of what I've been given in the past three years have been such a blessing.
Does that change the way that you go about doing your work around Rare Impact Fund, helping others nonprofit organizations to increase awareness around mental health?
When you're able to take a step back and have done the work, have better tools to help yourself, does it alter the way that you approach the work for others than it did when you were in it, learning and contributing at the same time?
I think when you have experienced something that another person has maybe felt in a different way, there's naturally this connection, that you're able to connect with someone on a level of maybe it's trauma or grief.
You know, codependency or whatever it feels like you, you can walk through that with someone, but it's never good to lean on someone.
So it's always important to find, you know, the point of all of this, which is.
I'm grateful Rare exists.
You know, Rare Beauty has changed my life, and I'm so grateful.
But before we sold a single product, we made a promise that 1 of sales will go directly to the Rare Impact Fund, which our goal is to raise 100 million in 10 years for mental health for youth all over the world.
So we're already global, and we reach over $2 million worldwide.
And we have already seen the groundwork.
We've seen what's been going on.
And to know that behind every product that's going on is the biggest gift.
Yeah, it's interesting you know the idea of rare being helping people to discover, you know, to enhance their own external beauty, but also using it to contribute to that really important part of the equation, which is how do I feel about myself on the inside?
Right.
I think that was the whole reason Rare Beauty was created.
Because I'm not going to lie.
I'm not sure.
I was really sure what would happen to me in the beauty space.
I'm very comfortable in my lane with music and film and TV.
But I thought it would be interesting to give it a go as someone who has never had real experience.
I'm not that great.
You know, I made people do this.
So I feel like it's more so relatable.
I wanted people to feel like they were able to tangibly do something because I'm not.
And then, at the same time, you know, even our products have designs that are uniquely for people who have dexterity issues, like myself.
So arthritis or any sort of, you know, immune system, it kind of all helps.
It's all a part of it.
Brilliant balance between the aspiration of something like that, but also the acknowledgement that everybody's experience is going to be different.
You talked about relatability.
I think that comes from people recognizing that you've always been very unfailingly honest at where you are in your life.
And I haven't had a chance to talk to you about what it is for people to look up to you, even when you can't really look at yourself at that moment in time.
And being happy now on some of those times when you were trying to establish a relationship with people and inspire people, but perhaps you weren't feeling particularly inspired yourself.
In a way, yeah.
That's why they say giving back actually, in a way, fulfills a need in you.
I think when I was younger, the idea of being someone, someone looked up to it was way too much pressure.
And now I just want to feel like I'm not someone to necessarily always look up to.
It's more that I just have a mission.
I have a purpose.
And behind everything that I do there's always going to be a purpose, from the projects I choose to the music I release.
There's always a reason.
There's always a meaning for me.
At that moment in time.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's exactly where I can.
What I can offer is where I'm at, who I am in that moment, whether that's complicated or not, I've always been honest.
What's your relationship like with an album like Revival, taking that honesty into account?
Because, like we said 10 years on, what a beautiful life you have laid out for yourself.
Now to enjoy and to benefit from all that work.
But you'd reached a crossroads, from what I can remember, back in 2015, where you were leaving some stuff behind and making some new choices.
Yeah.
Man, it was fun.
I just remember feeling so liberated.
And however that looked from good for you to all of these other, you know same old love.
It felt like I had a whole new rebirth.
And I just look at that time fondly, and I'm so happy to celebrate it.
What about reflection in general, though?
You've got so much to look forward to.
When someone tells you hey, it's been 10 years since you put an album out, you're just like whoa.
That's not on my bingo card right now.
I know.
I'm like, wait, why?
Wait, what?
How did this happen?
It's like, don't remind me of that.
What are you talking about?
Oh, I know.
That makes me feel weird.
But when you think about your music and do you leave it behind when you finish?
Have you received what you need to get out of it and you leave it to other people to enjoy, or do you like to reflect on your music after it's put out?
Yeah, no, I think I'd just say it and leave it.
Move on.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't really think too into a certain song being anything other than what it was to me.
And I love how people have interpreted my music and what it stands for.
I'm very proud of that.
But I'm also just I don't know I'm just equally as proud to do what I do every day, and It frees you up to enjoy music as a fan.
I hope so.
You know, and so let's talk a little bit about what that experience is.
A few years back, I had a pretty sort of mind blowing experience where something I'd never really given my time to a form of modern ambient music presented itself to me.
Yeah.
Just showed up out of nowhere and changed a lot of things for me.
I believe that.
Really did.
Like it put me on a path to starting a chill station here and change the way I make music and listen to music.
And even how I heard heavy music.
All of a sudden I could hear the ambience and it just opened up a whole side of me.
So I'd love to know sort of how music shows up for you just in your life and how you choose to use it and not just to have a good time, but I mean, is it a tool in other ways?
Is it a friend in other ways?
I think music is just the language that you want to feel and speak.
Sometimes I'll listen to, everyone's different, right?
When you listen to a song, what do you listen to first?
I'm a lyrics girl.
So I always am enticed by the cleverness, by the sadness, by the hidden meanings behind anything.
And that That's thrilling, because then I take it in as my version and I just.
Those are the songs I remember the most.
And they're usually associated with some probably painful times, but those are the best moments.
Sometimes when you want to cry, that's why people say, just put on, you know, for me...
Yeah, what's one of yours?
Joji.
Glimpse of Us, Joji.
That one kills me every time.
Yeah.
I need a good cry.
Yeah.
I have playlists.
Oh, me too.
To cry to.
Yes.
Like one of them is called Not Gonna Lie.
This shit is really sad.
That's what the name of my podcast is.
I'd actually be intrigued to listen to that, though.
Super honest, though, at the very least.
I think mine just says sad.
That's it.
Happy.
I just super do it.
Only link positive.
I actually have a folder called Positive Music.
So if I want to only hear things that I can digest.
So back to your point.
Music plays a huge part into what...
Happens, I think mentally.
I was actually talking about it before we came in.
Not sure if this is true, so I might be totally making this up right now, but there was a study about how they used three mice and they separated them and they had mazes each of them and And in one they played a certain type of music and another they played death metal type of really fun but headbanging music.
And then they did classical music.
It affected each of the mice differently and how they went through the paths and how they went through the mazes to get to their end point.
And all of them were different.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's true, guys.
Well, all I know is there is something neurologically that you feel.
It's a visceral.
100%.
I see it with my mother who has advanced dementia and we can't communicate conventionally anymore.
There's just no conversations.
Thanks, Lena.
And it's happening a lot with a lot of people I know.
So I only bring this up because I think it could help people who were in a similar situation to me, where you sort of feel like you're lying to the person that knows you the best.
And when you're not able to communicate conventionally with someone who really knew when you were lying, even as a kid, you feel like the biggest fraud of all time.
And so the only way I could truly communicate with her was I would play music that she could relate to and boom, she'd be in the room.
Right there.
Oh, that gave me chills.
And, you know, I get an I love you back when music is playing.
And so it's really beautiful.
It's taught me a lot about the power of music and frequency and the notes and the truth that comes out of that.
And you feel that more than anyone when you make music.
Oh, definitely.
Even when I'm able to perform it live, I feel it viscerally.
I feel the passion behind every word I say, every beat, every moment I can hit.
It just makes it more satisfying because it comes from a place of honesty.
I had no idea.
I'm really sorry, but it's really beautiful that you were able to find that.
And it is true.
That way of communicating.
There are studies being done to look into that.
I believe it.
Do you miss the cadence of performing live?
I got to ask it.
I know.
I think the only thing I genuinely miss is...
Probably the interaction.
I don't know about ever performing and I'm not going to say I would never again because who knows.
And I'm always saying I'll never and then I'm back.
So.
I'm fully aware of my tendencies.
Of all of ours.
Of all of our tendencies, by the way.
But I do feel the connection is so strong when I'm on stage and I can actually feel the power of what my music stands for.
And I don't know about award shows or any sort of shows.
That's always very too vulnerable.
It's also just Not everyone's there to support what you're doing.
There's a different feeling when you're on stage.
It's very performative.
It is.
And sometimes I'm not good at that.
I can act-ish, but I'm also like, not good at faking when I'm on stage.
That I'm, you know.
I think I did one performance where I thought I looked like a pop star.
And I remember thinking actually all of that looks so awkward because it couldn't have been the opposite of.
You know who I am.
But it is, it's performative.
And I'm not sure that's something I'm willing to entertain again.
However, the idea of doing I don't know an acoustic set or some sort of soft version, I would love to do that.
I miss being with fans for sure.
Whether you realize it or not, I've been working really hard throughout a lot of your young adult and adult life to shed that skin of being quote unquote a pop star or being something that can put on the costume.
I think I just maybe got a little tired of that.
And I think what I get so much out of film and TV or any sort of performative creativity that isn't music, is actually
It is another feeling that I can't really explain other than I connect with a character.
I connect with the character's pain or I connect with the character's joy or relationships and with you know, mother or fathers, and
All of that's so interesting to me and I can dive into somebody else's world.
But when you put yourself out there and it's just you, it can be a bit more frightening.
And I think I was just a little tired of it.
We saw it in the documentary.
Totally.
The beginning of the documentary is really hard to watch.
I think the way you were describing it before, about whether it's being in character or being in an environment where it's you and just the songs, isn't it a form of getting lost, like in a healthy way that we're searching for?
Of course.
I think that's the beauty of music too, and film and TV at that, is the escapism.
Being able to drown in whatever feeling or whatever emotion entices your brain in that moment.
It's interesting what it can feel like.
It's the closest thing to being present, I think.
I agree.
That's why I do this.
Because you're paying attention.
Yeah, that's why I do this.
No, I know.
And you're very good at it.
I'm honestly, I don't need my therapy session later today.
But you know what I mean?
Like I can only focus on what we're doing right now.
I'm only enthralled in this experience right now.
And so whatever's happening around is.
That's the best thing in the world.
And that's something I think I have to practice every day.
And it is a practice.
It is.
It's a real practice.
I'm very interested in, you know, rare impact, because I think that the conversation again in the last decade of what it is to be particularly young and experience mental health challenges, that there is a conversation that can be had now which is kind of broad right.
You can find people to have specific one-on-one conversations, but there's also macro help.
Yeah, of course.
Big funds like you're involved with coming in and saying we hear you, we understand.
It's really important.
When you think about purpose, even through all the challenges you've been through, can you sort of ladder it up to a greater purpose that ultimately, your generation and who you were as a young artist, everything you went through is this your purpose?
In a strange way,
A thousand percent.
Just because I love being able to look at someone and say, I know, and not exactly your way, but I do know that feeling.
And it's really difficult.
One story that will forever be in my mind to the day I die was this young boy.
He was eight years old.
And he was in the hospital.
He had lupus and he was waiting to get diagnosed and also for a transplant.
I had experienced both.
And when I walked into the room, he kept looking down and he was very nervous.
So I kept asking the mother, is it okay that I'm here?
Should I maybe just step out?
And they insisted that he'd like me to stay.
So I just kind of talked about the surroundings and tried to make him feel comfortable and, you know, didn't get in his space.
And all of a sudden, as I'm rambling on about the drawings on the wall, he just looks down and says is it true that you have lupus too?
And I looked at him and I said, yes.
And it was the first time that he looked up and he finally acknowledged me.
And I remember thinking, That's really powerful.
That's really, that's something I register in my mind as that's why I went through it.
So I don't look back and feel, oh, how miserable and I can't believe I had to go through that.
I look back and say, All right, now how can I be there for someone else?
Now what's going to happen to someone who feels the same way?
And I don't think my life's any easier than it was.
I just have a better understanding of where I'm trying to regulate my emotions and what I need.
So my mission is simply based on history.
My life, I'm grateful, not at all sad.
My life wasn't easy, but same as anyone, it could be worse, it could be better.
I think everybody has their own life and their own experiences, but it should all be acknowledged for what it is to each individual.
And I hope that's what I can do while I'm here on this earth.
I'll try to do the things that make me happy, but I'll equally try to do the things that make me feel like I have a right to be here, in a way.
You talk about in the new song, there's a brilliant line in the new song that reveals itself.
I think, you know, the one I'm talking about, like when you're low, I feel low.
And you know you could listen to that and you could feel like oh, that's a personal statement towards someone you care about.
And it can be.
But I feel like it's more like what we're searching for and what we're missing as people is this idea that it's all transferable.
And when you feel pain, how could I not feel pain?
I agree.
And I think that's something I really admire about the song.
Now to go back on it.
It was a song that was from a long time ago, but it's become this gem that we've always kind of carried as eventually it'll have a home, and then it did.
But yeah, that's what the ultimate meaning of that song is, is that you are exactly...
Any sort of thing that you are walking through, good or bad, I'm equally there.
And no, it's not about anything or any relationship.
It can be interpretive, but I genuinely think it is just a beautifully written song.
I agree.
And I had a great time working with everybody on it.
I love that you could have had that and it meant something to you that was different, in a way, than how it feels now.
Like what is time really in relation to songs?
I don't know, but hopefully it just ages like fine wine.
Music is just the best.
You've had such a fascinating life today and it's so wonderful hearing music come from you, and it's a blessing to be able to talk to you intermittently about life and things like that.
And I don't want this to be too lofty a question but in doing Rare Impact Fund and in caring about the greater and not just the individual, what is one thing that you have or are learning about?
The human experience that that you feel is a through line for all of us, that something like Rare Impact Fund is trying to highlight?
The lack of connection.
I think I'm guilty I'm sure we all are of the fact that our life is definitely, you know, ran by things that social media and stuff, all of that's given.
I don't need to talk about it.
But the lack of connection is real.
So yeah, of course, take your breaks from Instagram or whatever platform you're on.
But the end of the day these things are unavoidable and you either have to figure out how to live with it or just what i do.
Sometimes just choose not to live with it for a while.
Um, but i miss it.
I find when i take a break i'm able to actually miss and know and be curious about my friends and The world and life.
You know, I knew the important things happening.
It was just more so how do I find any more information or what my friend was doing last week?
I think it's great to be able to find that information.
As a surprise and not just say, oh, I saw that and just heart the thing, you know, I don't know.
Does that make sense?
It makes total sense.
And it's interesting.
I was talking to your friend Taylor about the lyric in her new album where she talks about the era of careful discretion.
Oh, love that.
That was when I began Careful Discretion.
And I talked about how it feels like she's living a life less attached to careful discretion and living a human life, regardless of how people perceive or read or comment or gossip that she's actively moving forward with her life and not being beholden to that.
Does that make sense?
Facts.
One of the things I love about it is that I feel like we are now getting to see you enjoy being you and not have to shield that because of fear.
That's accurate.
Oh, I'm still terrified every day of my life.
But it's gotten a bit easier when I just...
Kind of let it go a bit.
You know, I was working today this morning and I was doing interviews with Steve and Martin Short.
And I just they asked me one of the biggest lessons I could take away.
And I said it's honestly not to take yourself too seriously, but also don't give up on a joke until it doesn't land.
Because they will keep it going until it's so bad that it's funny.
It is a gift they have and that's something I cherish.
That's something I feel deep down inside of how I look at life now.
It must have been wonderful to have worked with them and know that at that point in their life, as they've lived, getting close to living a beautiful, full life.
Yeah.
That you can see like okay, both of you have been exceptionally famous and yet they just seem to move with the – they dance through it.
I'm telling you.
They dance.
You would have the best time with them.
They are just the best people and I'm so lucky.
But I'm getting off track.
Sorry.
Yeah.
No, no, I don't even know what track we're on.
I just get any excuse to talk about Steve and Marty.
Yeah.
To me, it's all one big track, which is that, you know, it's the life you've built for yourself.
At the point of doing this interview is we near the end of this conversation?
All too brief, but beautiful nonetheless.
The gala is ahead of us.
You know, Jimmy Kimmel hosting it, the Maria's performing at it, which is really cool because I love that band.
Just nice for you to be able to acknowledge, even just in a single moment, all the work that happens left and right of that.
So every year, well, it's only been three years so far.
We're still pretty new.
We've thrown a gala, and it's very traditional.
We have things to auction for hopefully people to come and donate.
And all the funds will go to the Rare Impact Fund.
It's grown every year.
But yeah, to have had Jimmy Kimmel, the Marias, everyone who's involved, is nothing but elevation from where we've been, and I couldn't be more grateful because every year gets better and better.
And it wouldn't be possible unless I felt like we were doing that work.
And I know and feel and can identify with so many people and it's probably one of my favorite parts of the entire creation of my cosmetics brand.
Well, you know ultimate respect to you for not just focusing on building a strong and powerful self-owned business, which in itself is an incredible achievement, but to take the time to be able to share the rewards in an environment, in an area which
Again, I feel like we bonded on this at the start.
There was something to where we landed very quickly, which was it's bigger than just music.
Like, if you'll allow me, let me try to.
This is back in the day.
Let me try to figure out a pathway for us to talk about the deeper stuff.
Absolutely.
And you were unafraid back then.
I feel like you still are.
Yeah.
If anything, I'm caring less and less in a good way.
That's good.
