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well we're just two best pals talking about pop culture dating and also exposing each other's deepest darkest secrets and if you've ever been ghosted we have a little segment called left on red where we call the person who ghosted you and say hey why'd you do that?
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ACAST .com Hey, welcome back.
You're listening to Podchill, where we talk about real -life topics in slow, clear and thoughtful English.
I'm Leo, our messy host. And I'm Gwen, our informative host. Ah, I have something to tell you and our listeners.
What's that? Last weekend, I missed my bus.
Then it started raining.
Oh, that's unlucky.
Yeah, and when I finally got into a taxi, the driver said, Bad day, huh?
I almost said yes. But then I thought, wait, is it really a bad day or just a bad five minutes?
That's such a real question, because sometimes we let one tiny moment decide everything.
Like one slow morning becomes, today is ruined.
But maybe it's not the day.
Maybe it's the way we see the day.
Exactly. That moment in the taxi stayed with me.
It made me think, what if one small thought can change how we speak, how we act, how we connect.
You're so deep today, Leo.
And yeah, that's what we're diving into today.
Positive thinking. Not just smile and be happy, but real, grounded mindset.
The kind that helps you listen better, speak more clearly, learn faster, and even forgive yourself.
So here's something to think about.
Have you ever lost a chance to make a friend or quit something halfway just because a little negative thought said, you're not good enough?
If yes, we've got you.
Let's break the myth about positive thinking and see what it can really do.
So we just said that one thought can change how we see the day, but what about how we see other people?
Oh, I love that question because positive thinking isn't just something that helps you.
It also changes the way you speak, listen, and connect with the people around you.
I mean, we all know that one person who always sees the worst in every story, right?
Yeah. Like, you tell them, I got a new job, and they say, but it sounds stressful.
Or you say, I started learning English, and they go, that's hard. You sure you can do it?
That kind of thinking can make people close up.
But a positive mindset opens the door.
So, let's talk about positive communication.
What is it really? At its heart, it's about listening to understand, not to reply.
It's about creating a space where the other person feels safe, not judged.
There's this theory I read about… Wait, Gwen, help me with the name.
you mean the broaden and build theory that's the one Barbara Fredrickson right yep back in 2001 she found that positive emotions help people expand their social awareness that means when you're feeling good even just a little your brain becomes more open you notice more you connect more easily you listen more deeply that's so true like when I'm in a good mood I'm actually interested in people's stories.
But when I'm grumpy, even my best friend's day sounds boring.
Exactly. And when you approach a conversation with a positive mindset, here's what changes.
You listen without jumping to judgment.
You look for the good in what they're saying.
Yeah, you're not just hearing words.
You're hearing the feeling behind them.
I see that shift of thinking a lot in my students.
There was one girl, very quiet, She smiled, surprised, like, wait, that was okay?
Aw, that's sweet. Did she speak more after that?
A lot more. Not because her English magically improved, but because she felt safe enough to try.
Cool. People don't open up when they're scared.
Man, now I feel bad about laughing when my friend said I have hungry last week.
Leo. I said it was adorable.
That counts as encouragement, right?
I'll let it slide. Just this once.
OK, Gwen, let me ask you something.
Have you ever done better than you expected just because someone believed in you?
Oh, yes, I have. And what's wild is, sometimes that belief felt stronger than my own.
Same. I once joined a singing contest in high school because my friend said, you're actually not that bad.
I didn't win, but I hit a high note I'd never reached before.
Power of belief, baby.
That is such a perfect example.
And it connects directly to something called the Pygmalion Effect, Sounds like a Greek statue thing.
You're not wrong. It's named after a myth where a sculptor falls in love with a statue he made, and it comes to life.
But in psychology, it means this.
When someone believes you'll succeed, you're more likely to succeed.
Just someone expecting good things from you can actually make you perform better?
Exactly. It's not magic.
It's mindset. Amazing.
I once had a classmate.
super quiet, always looked nervous.
One day the teacher said, I know you've got ideas.
I'm looking forward to hearing them.
The guy looked shocked, but later that week he gave this amazing short speech, like, he lit up.
That's the Pygmalion effect in real life, especially in learning.
I had a student too.
She used to say, I'm bad at English.
I told her, I see a great communicator in you.
You just haven't practiced enough yet.
And slowly, she started believing it.
By the end of the course, she was leading small group discussions.
From I'm bad at English to I'll take the lead.
That's transformation.
And all it took was someone seeing her differently.
And helping her see herself differently too.
That's the heart of this idea.
When we believe in others and ourselves, we raise the bar.
And we give people a reason to reach for it.
so if you're listening right now and thinking I'm not good at English maybe try changing that thought to I'm getting better at English because honestly you probably are yes and even if you're not perfect yet that belief will move you forward so Pygmalion was onto something if you build the right mindset everything around you starts to change nicely said Leo you might be a poet it after all told you i'm a star respect me so here's a story i've never told publicly i once went on a first date and spilled coffee all over my shirt white shirt hot coffee big brown splash right at the start no that's
the worst i froze in my head i was screaming you idiot you've ruined everything i wanted to disappear under the table what happened next next.
The girl said, Hey, it's okay.
It happens. But my brain didn't hear that.
It was too busy attacking me.
She thinks you're a mess.
You always ruin good things.
The usual playlist, you know?
Oh, I know. That's exactly when mindfulness becomes important.
It's not about pretending you're fine.
It's about pausing and noticing what's really going on.
Like asking, Am I really a mess or just a guy who spilled some coffee.
Yes. Mindfulness is just naming what you feel without judgment.
I'm embarrassed. I feel awkward. That's not weakness.
That's awareness. So I went to the restroom, looked in the mirror, and instead of panicking more, I took a breath.
I literally said out loud, okay, this is not the end of the world.
That's already a win.
And then I did something I'd never done before.
I smiled at myself.
I thought, hey, you cared enough to show up.
You're trying. And weirdly, I felt better.
That's a real example of mindful gratitude.
You didn't deny your embarrassment.
You just gave yourself space to be kind to it.
Gratitude doesn't mean saying everything is great.
It means saying even in this mess, something good is still here.
Like, at least the coffee was good.
Oh, right. What happened?
She made a joke about it.
I laughed. We talked about embarrassing moments for the rest of the date.
It turned out better than if everything had gone perfect.
That's beautiful. Now let's continue.
Can we talk about something that really messes with people when they learn anything, especially a language?
Let me guess. The fear of getting it wrong?
Yes, that little panic voice that says, don't speak unless you're perfect.
So you just say nothing.
That fear is so common but also so dangerous.
Because the truth is, you can't grow without making mistakes.
Yeah, but most of us were taught to avoid mistakes.
Like, red marks on a test meant you're failing at life.
Exactly. And that's where positive thinking comes in.
It doesn't mean pretending mistakes are fun.
It means seeing them as necessary steps, not final judgments.
I like that. So instead of thinking, I failed, you say, that was one more rep at the gym.
Yes, because the people who succeed aren't always the most talented.
They're the ones who can handle failure and come back again.
Sounds like something we should be taught in school, right after math and before exams. exams?
Honestly, yes. Because if you can't tolerate failure, you'll quit early.
But if you see failure as feedback, you stay in the game longer.
And the longer you stay, the more likely you win.
It creates long -term motivation.
Not the hyped -up, fake -it -till -you -make -it kind.
So, if you're learning English and keep messing up, congrats!
That means you're learning correctly.
Exactly. Ah, you know what's funny.
We've talked so much about failing, trying again, learning.
But we never asked, what do we say to ourselves after we fail?
Good point. Most people blame themselves.
And that mindset doesn't push you forward, it pulls you under.
So even when we keep going, we're dragging all that shame behind us.
Right. And that's why self -compassion is so important.
Wait. Wait, self -compassion?
Isn't that just being soft on yourself?
That's a common myth.
But real self -compassion is actually brave. It means looking at your failures and still choosing kindness.
Sounds way harder than blaming yourself.
It is. But it's also much more powerful.
Kristin Neff's research in 2003 showed that people who practice self -compassion have less anxiety, less depression, and more motivation.
So, being nice to yourself helps you do better?
Exactly. Because when you treat yourself like an enemy, you fight against your own mind.
But when you treat yourself like a friend, even when you're struggling, you heal faster.
That actually makes sense.
Like, if someone else messed up, I'd say, it's okay, you're learning.
Of course, it has to be learning from the mistake and growing from it.
But when I mess up, I say to myself, nice job, loser.
Utterly harsh, but common. So the practice is simple.
First of all, catch that voice.
Secondly, ask, would I say this to someone I care about?
If not, change it. You know what?
That's actually harder than grammar. But way more important in the long run.
Here is one important thing.
Even when we start being kinder to ourselves, it's still easy to get tired.
Tired of the effort?
Tired of showing up, trying, repeating the same things, and not seeing much change.
And that's where a lot of people just… quietly stop.
Not because they don't care, but because they think the effort isn't worth it anymore.
That's why I think we need to talk about something people often overlook, look.
That's the ability to keep going, even when the rewards aren't instant.
Patience? Not just patience.
More like staying loyal to the process.
Even when you feel like nothing's working.
You mean like people who study for two years and still struggle with basic conversations?
Yes. When they don't get it fast, they think something's wrong with them.
Progress often often feels like nothing until it doesn't.
Until one day you understand a sentence without thinking or speak without planning every word in your head.
And you can't always see when that moment is coming.
So the only thing you can control is whether you keep showing up.
Right? And that's where a positive mindset helps.
Not in the everything is great way.
It's in the I don't have to be great yet.
I just have to keep going, kind of way.
That feels quieter than motivation, but maybe stronger.
That's the kind of mindset that gets you through month three, or year two, when no one's cheering and it's just you and your notebook and a really slow podcast. This one's not that slow, I hope.
Just slow enough to learn from and, yeah, chill.
Fair. Enough advice for now.
Let the mind rest a little.
Right. Let's learn some new phrases from today's episode.
Phrase list unlocked.
Let's go. We have the first phrase, keep going.
It means to continue even when it's hard or slow.
Example, we don't see progress right away, but she should keep going.
I respect that. I usually keep going until I see food.
Whatever you want, Leo.
Next we talked about show up.
It means to be present and try, even if you don't feel ready.
Example, even on days of low motivation, showing up to class helps build progress.
I like that one. It's simple, but powerful.
Because showing up is often the hardest part.
Then we have safe space.
It's a place or feeling where someone feels accepted and free to express themselves.
example the classroom became a safe space when the teacher praised effort not just perfection and that's when people start to open up the next phrase is lit up the meaning of it is suddenly looking excited inspired or alive example the student lit up when the teacher said I believe in you that's sweet the last phrase is mindful gratitude it means the mindset of being aware of something good even in a tough moment example she was nervous but felt mindful gratitude that she showed up anyway that's great mindset and those were the useful phrases you can watch the video again to fully understand the whole
story all right as we almost come to the end i think it's time to slow down and reflect yup let's take a moment to reflect on what we've talked about through a few questions.
And here is my question.
Why is it important to see mistakes as part of learning?
I think it's because mistakes are not signs of failure, but signs of effort and growth.
Seeing them this way helps people stay motivated and keep trying.
Cool answer, Gwen. Thank you.
Now it's my turn. How does being kind to yourself change motivation?
Well, I guess it helps reduce reduce anxiety and self -blame.
This creates a healthier mindset that supports long -term effort, even when things are difficult.
That's right. Our dear friends, what do you think?
Don't forget to share your answers in the comments below.
It's not about right or wrong.
What matters is growing and understanding together.
What we've shared today has been really helpful, hasn't it, Leo?
Absolutely spot on.
Before we wrap up this episode, let's slow down for a moment and ask ourselves three quiet questions.
First, when things go wrong, how do you speak to yourself?
Is there room for a little more kindness?
Second, when you face failure or hear something negative, if you take a breath instead of reacting, what insight might show up?
Third, who's helped you see things more positively?
Maybe today's the day to send them a thank you.
Positive thinking isn't just about feeling good.
It's about seeing clearly and choosing thoughts that help you grow.
One small shift in mindset today can create real change in how you speak, connect, and show up for yourself and for others.
So stay kind, stay open, and keep choosing thoughts that move you forward. If this episode gave you something to think about, share it with a friend, or leave us a message.
We'd love to hear how it landed for you.
We'll catch you in the next one.
Keep growing. You're further along than you think.
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Well, I'll just say what just came to mind, which is to be careful with yourself.
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It's not easy always, but it's simple.
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