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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeart Radio.
Good morning.
This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is that you don't need to explain your every move and request.
As long as you are being reasonable, saying less might keep you from causing a bigger problem.
People are also too wrapped up in their own lives to obsess much over your actions.
So, you can usually just live your life.
This episode is first airing over the holidays.
It's a time when extended family and friends gather, and people go to parties and the like.
Often in these contexts, we feel the need to explain our various choices.
You might mentally prepare explanations of why you are asking visitors to take off their shoes in your mudroom.
You might come up with a list of bullet points about why you gave some folks gift cards instead of presents.
You tee up arguments about why you are not drinking alcohol or eating the brownies that everyone else is raving about.
Maybe you feel like whatever you are doing is conspicuous and if it is not what everyone else does, you might be self-conscious about it.
But if you ponder all the mental energy that you put into your own choices, you can quickly see that there isn't a huge amount left over for anything else.
Have you been obsessing over whether your colleague is drinking at that party?
Did you notice if Aunt Gertrude ate your cheese dip?
Did you demand an explanation from a relative who gave your kids gift cards?
My guess is no.
Most people are too busy worrying about their own lives to worry all that much about anyone else's.
So if you tend to explain yourself a lot, try pulling back.
Wait to see if someone asks for more detail.
If so, you can provide it.
If not, maybe just let it be.
For instance, if you are getting an end-of-year eye exam, your eye doctor's office doesn't need to know why you are asking for a hard copy of your prescription.
They don't need to know that you prefer an online company's frames to the ones in the office, or that you want to minimize the cost of glasses this year because you are saving up for a down payment for your first home.
Just request a hard copy of your prescription and then everyone can move on with their lives.
Your hairstylist probably doesn't care why you need to reschedule your appointment two weeks from now.
You can just ask whether she has another opening later that week.
Now, if you are canceling your appointment for today, that is a different matter.
That is a lot more inconvenient to the stylist.
So you should probably let her know that you woke up with a fever and don't want to expose her to your germs.
There is a good reason you are inconveniencing her.
But for much else, that is not the case.
Your boss doesn't need to know the exact purpose of the medical appointment.
That is necessitating that you come in late one day next week.
You can provide a doctor's note documenting your absence, if need be, but you probably don't need to explain about your mole that is being removed.
I feel like people go through an evolution in their lives.
When we are young, we worry that everyone is thinking about what we are doing.
At some point, we realize that most people aren't thinking about us all that much.
At first that can be a little alarming, especially if you made any big life choices based on what you thought other people thought was right.
But then you realize the fact that no one is thinking about you is absolutely liberating.
The clerk at the grocery store has seen 100 orders this morning already.
He really doesn't care that you are buying cookies and soda.
He doesn't need to hear that you bought broccoli the last time you were there.
You don't need to explain yourself.
You can just live your life.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at LauraVanderkam.com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey there, Dr. Jesse Mills here.
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA and I want to tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom.
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
And like most guys, I haven't been to the doctor in way too long.
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't.
Every week, we're breaking down the world of men's health, from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility.
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
So check out The Mailroom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favorite shows.
What up, y'all?
It's your boy Kev on stage.
I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Moment, where I talk to artists athletes entertainers creators friends, people I admire who had massive success, about their massive failures.
What did they mess up on?
What is their heartbreak and what did they learn from it?
I got judged horribly.
The judges were like, you're trash.
I don't know how you got on the show.
Check out Not My Best Moment with me Kev on stage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is an iHeart Podcast.
Guaranteed human.
