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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeart Radio.
Good morning.
This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is that you can reshape a memory.
Particularly if you have had a negative experience in the past that continues to bother you to some degree, you might be able to highlight a particular part of that memory that shows something you like about yourself.
That can make a negative memory a little less bad.
I am sure we have all had experiences in our lives that haven't gone exactly how we wanted.
If we're not careful, these can scar pretty deeply.
For instance, I know someone who had a rough start to college and wound up needing to withdraw with failing grades.
Yikes, right?
This person was smart enough to go to college and had family members who were incredibly proud of them for doing so, and then that happened.
The first story that comes to mind is failure.
But after some dark months this person decided to try again, with lots of studying and organizational help.
And she wound up doing okay.
With some work, she was able to reshape the original memory.
There is a difference between failing at something specific and being a failure.
She was able to rewrite the memory as being willing to try hard things and that when something didn't work out, she was tough enough to learn from her mistakes.
That reshaped the memory into something more positive.
Perhaps you have something similar in your life.
I probably don't have to nudge you to call up the unpleasant memory.
Maybe you already think about it way more than you intend to.
So the next time you are doing so, See if you can reshape it a little bit.
Think about what you like most about yourself.
What traits make you proud?
When you've been at your best, what were you doing?
Now think about this unpleasant memory.
Were there any moments in this event or moments afterwards that could have featured these traits you like about yourself?
Yes, the business went bankrupt, but you were a really good mentoring boss with your employees while it lasted.
Yes, you shouldn't have lost your temper and you are now dealing with the fallout from that.
But that also stems from being intensely loyal to the people in your life and not wanting to see them be unhappy.
That in and of itself is not a bad thing, even if there were ramifications that weren't great.
Anyway, we have all had low moments in life and it's good to learn from these when we can.
I am not in favor of letting ourselves completely off the hook when we have made big messes.
But when all we are learning is that we are failures or that we are terrible people, that is not going to be particularly helpful.
Better to see if there is some good trait to hook on and then reshape the memory with that in mind.
It becomes part of life's story rather than something we can't get past.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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I'm Ben Higgins.
This show is for you.
Listen to if you can hear me on my heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.
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