This is Jenny Garth from I do part two.
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Welcome to before breakfast, a production of I heart radio.
Good morning. This is Laura.
Welcome to the before breakfast podcast. Today's tip is that regret is inevitable.
Big decisions inevitably mean giving something else up.
But once you accept that, you can make decisions with far less angst. Today's tip, like a few others this week, comes from Nell Wolfhart, who is a decision consultant.
She helps people make better and swifter decisions.
You can check out more about what she does at her website, decideandmovefoward .com.
Nel shared some of her favorite decision -making tips with me so I could pass them along to the before breakfast audience.
One of my favorite tips is about regret.
She tells me that the decision -making business is really the regret minimization business.
We are all trying to avoid regret, but Nell says this is impossible.
Almost every big decision comes with regret because you are giving up something you want.
Does that sound a bit Depressing?
Perhaps. But as Nell tells me, it is actually liberating.
If you accepted there was going to be regret either way, which option would you choose?
I think this is a wonderfully practical way to frame decisions.
Life is never perfect.
When we remove one source of stress with a certain decision, Then we might then fixate on others.
We lament the others, not giving ample credit to the fact that the first is gone.
This was beautifully illustrated in Jane Austen's classic novel, Sense and Sensibility, when the cad Willoughby expresses his regret to Mary Ann that he didn't marry her for love and instead married someone else for money.
Marianne's wise sister Eleanor points out that Willoughby can focus on his regret about love now, because his material needs are amply met.
Had he married differently, he still would have his extravagant tastes, and he'd no doubt start fixating on his regret about all the material things he couldn't have – even even if he did have slightly more romantic feelings for this alternate wife.
Regret is inevitable.
But once you know that, you can also turn down some of the angst on even rather large decisions.
Some longtime listeners have heard the story of how I wound up choosing where to go to college in 24 hours.
I thought I couldn't afford to go to my first two choices where I'd gotten accepted, and then a relative offered to help my family out, which made them more feasible.
I was about 24 hours away from the deadline.
So, I needed to make a decision between those two schools.
And so, I did. I think of that massive decision now sometimes, because much of my life could be very different if I'd chosen the other place.
I don't think it would be better, because my life is pretty awesome.
him, but whatever I would have chosen in those 24 hours, I would still be me.
And I'm a pretty positive, happy person.
So if I had gone to the other school and the details of my life were now different, I would no doubt think that was pretty awesome then too.
Life will play out as it does.
And so it wouldn't have been a huge mistake to choose the other school just as alternate universe Laura probably wouldn't be thinking she had made a huge mistake either.
There were going to be upsides and downsides both ways.
When you realize this, you can just make decisions more practically.
Should we buy this house?
Well, if you like the house and you have the money, you will probably be quite happy there.
But if you don't buy the house, you will no doubt be be happy in your current home or whatever different one you wind up buying.
Either way has its advantages, and either way will have its regrets.
Should we go to the beach or to the mountains for our vacation?
You will probably make good memories either place.
There may be some things you miss out on.
But unless you go to the beach during a hurricane or the mountain during an avalanche, neither set of regrets would be particularly more profound than the other.
It's going to be fine either way.
So you can choose based on something like whether that resort at the beach is running a sail, or whether you went to the mountains last year, or which just sounds like more fun.
Regret is inevitable.
All decisions involve giving something up.
But all decisions can lead to some good things too.
There's really no need to worry too much about that.
Life will keep playing out as it does.
Accept that and you will probably be more satisfied in general.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.
Hey, everybody. I'd love to hear from you.
You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.
That's B -E, the number, then breakfast, P -O -D.
You can also shoot me an email at beforebreakfastpodcast at iHeartMedia .com.
That before breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Thanks so much. I look forward to staying in touch. Before breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
this is Jennie Garth from iDoPart2, if you could lose 10 .4 pounds in one month would you try?
With Future Health you can.
Future Health gives millions access to affordable weight loss meds for less than three bucks a day.
Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just three minutes at TryFH .com.
Results vary based on start weight and adherence to diet, exercise and program goals.
Data based on independent study sponsored by Future Health.
Future Health is not a health care services provider.
Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion.
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