Hey, it's Mike and Ian.
We're the hosts of How to Do Everything from NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Each week we take your questions and find someone much smarter than us to answer them.
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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning. This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is that you can prepare in advance for grief anniversaries.
By proactively planning in things that will lift your spirits, you can make the day slightly less rough.
I came across today's tip because I follow Mary Catherine Hamm's Instagram account.
This journalist and commentator is known for many things.
But in addition to her political writing, she has shared a lot about losing her first husband seven years ago.
He died in a bicycle accident, leaving her with one little girl and another on the way.
In an Instagram real recently, she talked about this seventh anniversary.
The thing about losing someone on a particular day, or a traumatic event on a particular day if you have one in your life, as you're bound to at some point, is that the calendar is going to come back around, she noted.
When that happens, be prepared for it.
She went on to say, you know the date is coming.
You know, you're dreading it, at least early on in your grief, and you should set up a situation for yourself.
Mary Catherine planned a nice lunch with several friends on her grief anniversary, as a way to make sure she had something on the day to look forward to.
Instead of just dreading the day.
I think this is an incredibly wise idea.
The calendar does come back around again.
Every year, we note the anniversary of all the days that shaped us.
And yes, over time, some of the grief changes form.
Mary Catherine Hamm remarried a few years ago, and had another baby last year.
And so I am sure the shape of the grief is different than it was in the first year.
But still, whatever shape it takes, it will always be there.
You are highly unlikely to forget the date.
Not everyone in your life will remember it as you will, and you can't always count on other people to observe it and take care of you.
You need to take care of yourself.
So if you've got a grief anniversary in your life, think about what truly makes you happy.
What could you plan into your life for that day so that you will feel loved?
What will make you feel like there are still good things in this world?
Reach out to your friends.
Your closest ones will welcome the opportunity to help on that grief anniversary.
They may want to help.
They just probably don't know what to do.
So think about things that make you smile.
What would you genuinely enjoy?
Get one or two of those things.
On the calendar. What this can do is temper some of the dread the day might otherwise conjure up.
There will be something on that day to look forward to.
You won't be alone.
If you don't want to be.
Life can be tough. Especially if you are grieving.
But figuring out how to spend your grief anniversary in a way that will make you feel taken care of is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Then you can continue to show up for the other people in your life.
In the meantime. This is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Hey everybody. I'd love to hear from you.
You can send me your tips, your questions or anything else.
Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.
That's B -E the number four then Breakfast P -O -D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeartMedia .com.
That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Thanks so much. I look forward to staying in touch.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey it's Mike and Ian.
We're the hosts of How to Do Everything from NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Each week we take your questions and find someone much smarter than us to answer them.
Questions like how do you survive the Bermuda Triangle?
How do you find a date inside the Bermuda Triangle?
We can't help you, but we will find someone who can.
Listen to the How to Do Everything podcast on iHeartRadio.
Hey, I'm Jadlease Thomas, the host of a brand new Black Effect original series, Black Lit, the podcast for diving deep into the rich world of Black literature.
Black Lit is for the page -turners.
For those who listen to audiobooks while running errands or at the end of a busy day.
From thought -provoking novels to powerful poetry, we'll explore the stories that shape our culture.
Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
