are we recording yes okay that's that's the new sound i've decided to make wow it's like i just i want to try to like get things just like just get them popping like okay you never know well i i guess if i'm trying to create like excitement or novel like experiences i can't i can't say bye every time no it'll get predictable eventually like like yeah you know like it starts out it's like oh man he's saying bah i love this bar guy what and then later on it's like yeah okay right yeah i don't know i'm still i'm still working on it like i'll i'll figure out what the right thing is you should write
something well yeah yeah that's that's what that's what i'm suggesting okay i'm just blowing up who is who is blowing up your phone it's all morning it's just my friends you know they're talking about that uh you see that article about the um the paul brothers trying to get into fortnite uh yeah yeah i think so they're they founded team 10 gaming well he like had a picture of ninja as the thumbnail for his this video really yeah that seems odd but ninja wasn't in the video at all well no he just had it was on kotaku it was like what a disaster it was it's true it's true so it looks like both of these
beast men are jumping in there god i don't know i don't i can't i you know how sometimes people can't even i can't even with them yeah it's like it's it's terrible because when you you talk about them they their power grows it's like they're it's like voldemort it's like fucking voldemort yeah and it's like we need a term like he who shall not be yeah yeah he who must not be named we need a term like that but for these mutants yeah we do right we need some in the same way that like i mean i don't actually know what the property brothers names are but i know about the property brothers like i need
a term that's like that where eventually i can completely forget their names but i'll still have a linguistic container yeah to describe this fucking etin you know what i mean yeah i think that their names are just brothers i think it's like the berenstein bears oh like brother bear yeah i see yeah which is weird because they named him before they had sister yeah tell me how that works dude you've you have you've split this whole thing you want to know the craziest thing they're not even bears no the craziest thing is the the fucking family that had mama bear and just named her mama are you sure
they're the names yeah papa q bear is his name oh like on his driver's license yeah oh geez man i i gotta say i didn't know how deep this i mean i guess it's a bear hole yeah in this case but i didn't i wasn't aware how deep it went because her brother her her friends call her sister bear true oh that's right even they're even her friends yeah her name is sister bear her last name is bear her first name is sister holy fucking shit oh well the main thing that people have talked about is like is that one of these beast men has 200 000 followers on twitch and hasn't streamed yet oh my god i mean here
so i want to i want to boil down what you've offered so far on this topic go ahead ah i can't yeah what's like but but but your larva i mean there's some i mean these tendrils aren't universal oh no my larva hate him yeah i mean and i think that i think that a lot of young people do but i just like the youtuber that noah loves just as i mean i don't think they're as bad it's just couple like a husband and wife which one i can't remember their name right now i'd have to look it up yeah yeah but he wants that he watches a family channel uh it's a couple yeah they're young i don't think they don't
have kids so i would probably show but they oh popular mmos they know they stream uh minecraft together yeah dude it's popular mmos okay yeah i bet i mean my that's trust me i've seen a lot of watched him and they're very they don't cuss they don't you know they're not bad they're just goofballs right but if if they were watching this logan paul shit i would have a problem you have to regulate for sure yeah um oh well here do we want to um do we want to investigate your torments last night in the boudoir well no not in i i last night last night i suspect that that went okay no oh you mean the pirate
stuff i'm talking about yeah the issues that you had there and then you could be you could go in and be alone It's a sea of thief.
Yeah. So finally, at like almost 11 o 'clock, after trying to get in for an hour, over an hour, Kara was like, just try to get in alone because that's what everyone online was recommending.
So I just jumped in.
I got in immediately by myself.
Got a couple of missions.
Found four chests. Took them to an outpost to sell them.
This is almost midnight now.
Oh, yeah, because you were rocking it all solo.
Yeah, all by myself.
But I did it. I got four chests.
But if you don't have Kara, Carrie Krahulik.
Yeah, it was tougher.
To hit chest with the first dig each time.
So I get to the outpost to sell them almost midnight now, and there was guys there waiting, and they killed me and took all my chests.
Well, shit. Yeah, so some groups were able to get in.
There was two of them in a sloop, a small boat.
Right, or they just saw each other.
Saw me. Saw you. it's like we don't have to there doesn't have to be collusion at the boat level right i mean you could also just go and jump on somebody else's boat yeah and then hear each other what i don't understand is i mean they did a stress test every weekend leading up to this that's it i mean they did not do a stress test they did stress tests yeah plural and i got in on all of them partly to make sure that when this came out yeah that it would have been tested stressfully well and what they they kept saying hey we're these are not supposed to be like beta experiences these are stress
tests we're going to be hammering our servers oh yeah and weird shit definitely happened absolutely i mean to me it's like whenever i play the beta whenever i play the beta and something really shitty happened i was like i'm glad yeah exactly i'm glad that this this happened because hopefully somebody saw it hopefully it's being worked out right but you know and if they're like hey listen we're we're stressing them as you know stressfully stressfully as they can be stressed and then they're like wow we were completely shocked by how many people got on well you can't really though you can't like
it must be someone's job to estimate that right Right.
Well, and they're very bad at their job.
Whoever that is. Whoever that is.
Well, it seems to happen.
In my experience, it seems to happen 100 % of the time.
Yeah. To everyone. To every game.
I don't understand it.
Like, regardless of how many tests they do.
I was like, man, they are going all out.
Stress test every weekend leading up to the launch. I was just so pleased.
It's worth doing because we've talked about it a lot.
We've played it a bunch on the stream and had a great time.
I feel like it's worth discussing Sea of Thief.
That's my feeling. If you go and get issues with gold and reputation upon logging in or turning in items, well, that's the whole game.
Yeah. That's it. Turning in items. Getting items. Getting and turning in items is is really it yeah right yeah it's like if pac -man had a problem with moving and eating dots well it's like you can eat the dots but if you but don't move but don't move so when you start in what happens is like is there a is there an intro like a out -of -box experience yeah there's It's a cinema.
Well, yeah, it's a cinema that plays.
Yeah. It's sort of a map that sort of unrolls and talks about the game, like your adventures being a pirate, and it does that thing where the ink drawings sort of emerge on the map.
Oh. Yeah. And then it spits you out into choose your pirate.
Oh, okay. And so then you go into shops.
Yeah. But it isn't like, hey, it isn't like, yar, go to young shops.
No, the only thing it does is it drops you onto an island, or it puts you in a tavern, just like in the beta.
And now there's a quick intro that takes about 10 seconds that says, Hold left bumper to bring up your items. Press Y to change weapons.
Yeah. That's it. Yeah.
Like I say, I'm shocked.
Like I said yesterday, this is the least Microsoft game I can imagine.
Except that it doesn't work.
That's very Microsoft. Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I mean, that's...
You're right there.
Yeah. That's on... That's on brand.
That's on point. Yeah.
But, you know, they're not doing...
They're not going out of their way to...
Like, you're supposed to experience and discover all of it.
Yeah. And I don't have a problem with that.
No, not at all. I understand why a person might have a problem with it.
Yeah. But, you know, these days you're playing games where the tutorial's like 10 hours.
Yeah. Yeah, you play for eight hours and then the fucking logo comes up.
Yeah, and then the logo pops up.
It's like, okay. But yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, do you agree that this is a...
Yeah, I mean, obviously I hate to kick them while they're down.
Well. But they might be back up right now for all I know.
Yeah, maybe this kick will put them back down.
Maybe. But no, I mean...
It was real. Like, we tried to log on for...
It's so challenging.
Yeah. Like, what they're trying to do is new and very difficult.
Yeah. And to my mind, a great launch was their only hope.
Yeah, I think it would have helped.
I think that this is really what they're trying to do.
Yeah. And I bless them for this.
Is really, really new.
Yeah. And when it doesn't do what it's supposed to.
Right. I think it's actually different than another type of game.
Because it's so loose and open -ended.
like you may not even know if you're succeeding yeah right i think that i think that there could be something in this idea that like no one seems to be able to do it like every one of these games on launch has got something wrong with it it's the bone zone yeah we were completely unprepared so the number why not just have the guy like whoever's job it is to estimate that number like have him tell you the number and then when he leaves just double it be like yeah i just i want to i just want to know where that i want to know where the problem was yeah like my expect i'm i'm like you know i don't
like the universe i think there's all kinds of problems with it sure like i get it like the idea that something would work i'd be very surprised too i mean you you know it would blow me away yeah but you know by that token i would just i'd love to i'd love to see it i would love to see one of these games come out and work yeah just going into i mean going into literally what happened this might be a good intro yeah because we're really talking about a situation where you weren't able to get in with your friends then you committed to going in solo and then after two hours of labor you were murdered
after an hour yeah right two hours Hours of trying and an hour of labor, yeah.
I don't know, it's worth talking about.
And I lost every little stuff I had acquired.
Yeah, it's like, I don't know.
It's like, is it the greatest simulation of piracy of all time?
Like, I don't... Yeah.
Is that just accurate?
Probably. The reality is that I, you know, when it happened, I asked you how it went.
That's probably the right way to start.
Yeah. It's like, if Tycho comes down in the morning and Gabe is still there, and it's like, didn't you stay up all night playing Sea of Thieves?
I stayed up all night trying to get into Sea of Thieves.
Wait, I think it's loading.
I'm in! No, it's in.
It's happening, it's finally happening.
Yeah, I haven't seen...
God, I'm just gonna put my dipstick into this Reddit.
Okay. That's when I see the heat.
Yeah, there's a mega thread See the heat See the heat See the heat Let's see Oh yeah, here's all the status updates Oh, and it's just individual item Things seem to be much more stable this morning I'm glad I hope that that's true Right?
Because that's what I want I don't actually want I don't get Who knows how it's supposed to work As like a consumer advocate or whatever in whatever manifestation of the journalistic edifice I don't know where we exist even in that continuum but I don't actually want someone to kick that's not I mean I bought it I just want to play red games I don't actually want to be mad this is not like the angry gamer show or whatever that's useless to me I don't have to perform this fucking and i don't have to be sad no on q fuck all that i i would just want the products that i purchased to function yeah
you know what i mean remember we were talking to your dad that one time about golf and we're like hey dad we're gonna play this golf game together we tried desperately to play this golf game with your dad and it didn't work he's like how could it not work you bought it you paid money it's just like but it's like we're just like can you return it no i mean it'll start start working what do you mean you'll start well they're still working on it you know yeah it's weird it's weird yeah i mean so some of it i mean could be much worse honestly i'm just people just starting to put together their may mays
from their experiences that's what i see most of this yeah i suspect there's gonna be a lot of pirate talk in this it happens yeah right no i mean what i see i think a lot of it is going to be this type of comment assuming that it functions right Right?
Having put about five hours into the game, I've experienced most of what it has to offer already.
You're not gonna like it.
It's not for that person.
No. That's like saying, having looked at all the cards in a deck of cards, I've experienced everything it has to offer.
Yeah, I've seen all of it.
I've seen all the cards.
Yeah, and it's like, yeah, there's four different kings, but they're all kings.
Come on, there's only 52 cards, Why not $60?
Yeah, exactly. Here's my...
What am I supposed to do once I've seen all 52 cards?
Because this has a list as well.
Oh, does it? Oh, yeah.
It has exactly the same list. It's like add personal hideouts to decorate and personalize.
That's already announced.
Yeah, here's our game designer.
Yeah, rework the PvP mechanics.
mechanics the pvp mechanics it's like it's a bore at the moment i do not find fighting other pirate vessels boring no i don't find that boring at all i don't i don't know what that is i don't you want you you want to shoot a boat and you want a number to show up over the top of it just fucking be honest with yeah just say it just say just say that i don't feel just say my dick can't get hard unless unless a number and the number jumps up out of an enemy that i've injured and And when that boat is done sinking, I better have gotten a little bit better cannon.
Yeah. Or something.
Or something. Listen, I'm not mad.
Unlockable shanties?
Yes. I'm all about it.
Let's get some shanties.
You could also go learn some.
Sure. And sing them on your boat.
Yeah. Trust me, there's a lot of those.
Yeah. You could unlock all the shanties you want on YouTube.
Honestly, dude, if you go after Black Flag, if people aren't tapping Black Flag.
Oh, to learn those songs?
Because those are real songs.
because it would be awesome if you joined a crew and they were all singing it's happened did you see did you see the video that this guy made of he put it together with like a real no uh no like a real singing group uh -uh they came out and they came out and they're singing that's bad and dancing no i would never say that it's i would never say that it's perfect or that they shouldn't do this i just i think that this game if looking at the the roadmap they've discussed new experiences and surprises are a norm yeah i think they'll be very common for what they wanted to do like that this is there
are reasonable arguments i think that the arguments have to do with functionality you not you not liking it like to me that's not an indication of anything yeah except for you not liking it well saying that you've had you've experienced everything the game has to offer when the game is really about about emergent gameplay yeah i think it's silly no well it's just it's a it's a it's a bunch of phenomena yeah right but no i wish there was a strip that we could do about i wish there was a strip we could do about the deck of cards i've seen all 52 cards i've seen all 52 cards in a deck yeah and i
don't i think i'm done with cards i get it i think i've seen everything cards have have to offer it's like you know i mean here's my here's my suggestions why not 54 cards 54 or an even number like make it 60 cards yeah yeah get a couple more cards and 55 cards go out yeah you know think about think about those possibilities unlockable cards we've we've managed all this like this these are all these are all things we've scenarioed out we have figured them out we know what's up so anyway for my cards to level up yeah yeah well i mean which which do you want to do do you want to do game up all night
trying to log in or do you want to do this this jackass but but for me what's what's specifically interesting about the narrative like the reality is that we're going to make a couple comics probably about we have to keep making them yeah about well no i don't just mean in general i mean i don't mean in general i mean like like specifically uh there's gonna be like your whole family plays this game it's true It's installed on my box, and I have the right kind of TV, and I got the One X, so I know how it's going to look.
Honestly, dude, I haven't played it with the new textures yet.
Oh, yeah. I'm very excited.
It's going to be good.
Yeah, so there's going to be more strips, and so I think that right now we have to touch on the pertinent issue, and then you go into the idea that the deck, the immersion gameplay is the purpose, right?
Right. But I liked the arc where it's like you try to get in together, other can't do that and then you get together and then then you have to go in but you you were able to play but you could only play solo yeah right yeah that one is just it's a lot to communicate if you're in the if you're in the first place like man we've been trying to get in there's only three there's only there's three main points yeah one you can't get in together yeah two you have to get in alone yeah three you accomplish tasks and when you go to turn them in you're murdered Yeah.
Like this is, this is like as a, as a first night, this is rough, rough, rough water.
Yeah. Right. How did, uh, how did last night's Sea of Thieves launch go?
Yeah. How was launch night?
Stormy, stormy seas, my friend.
The sea was angry. The sea was angry?
That's Seinfeld joke.
It's still good. Yeah.
He's not using it. No. He's driving cars.
With comedians. Yeah, whenever I watch it, whenever I watch that show, like I want to know what's going on with the comedians.
Yeah. I really enjoy the conversations that they have. Yeah.
I feel like these conversations are fucking legit.
Oh, yeah, I think so.
Right? It's real shit.
But it's like, I don't give a fuck about these cars.
No. And he's like, oh, it's the fucking...
But he loves cars. ...1950 whatever.
Yeah. It's like, it has the cut.
It's like, brum. And it's like, the guy will come in and be like, oh, I love cars too.
And they'll be like, oh, man, nothing I like more than a car.
I love how it moves you around.
Are you caught up on the new Joel McHale show?
Oh, sir. So the sports segment brought to you by vehicles.
Brought to you by beverages.
Beverages. and his international corner yeah with the bagpipes and then they keep adding instruments and now there's a didgeridoo in there that's offensive no it's that show fucking so good it kicks ass i want two episodes a week i can't yeah one's not enough one is not enough episodes a week didn't it used to be daily yeah i need more yeah i need more you know karen i tried to get in for two hours.
For an hour, right?
Trying to get in together.
No luck. So did she play solo too?
No. I don't see it.
She just watched me.
That's stressful. Eventually she told me to try logging in alone and that worked.
Playing alone kind of sucks.
Yeah, no one wants that.
I was having a hard time I'm just trying to navigate to an island while driving and checking the map, checking the sail, dropping the anchor.
What I like about it is the boat.
Yeah. And the crew.
I like the crew. Yeah.
I feel like that's very piratical.
Yeah. I managed to get four chests.
On my way to turn them in, I got jumped.
Somebody stole everything.
Yeah, it's like I don't...
Does that make it the...
Is that accuracy? Yeah.
I'm conflicted about that.
Yeah, I mean, it's not inaccurate.
Yeah, I ended up getting like four chests.
I mean, that's definitely panel two, right?
Yeah. How many chests did you get?
Four. Oh, there you go.
It's true. It's right from the headlines.
It is! I was trying to take one off when they got me, and then by the time I respawned, they had gotten all the rest of them off my boat, and they were leaving with the last one.
I tried to take a couple shots.
I can't even imagine.
and yeah the worst part is that you're not able to join as a crew yeah but then you go but then other people apparently are other people apparently can or something yeah yeah but then two people who apparently could log in together jumped me and stole all my treasure did you see their boat uh yeah you have the same boat with one and two right Uh yeah There's only two boats Yeah big and small Yeah in my mind it's like Trying to Trying to square up The $60 that you paid With that experience Trying to figure out That doesn't seem like $60 worth of fun Not in the first night No you know I don't know
if it's the greatest piracy simulator of all time.
But that glosses over the connection issues.
Oh, true. Well, trying to get in together for an hour, that's panel one.
Trying to get in together for an hour, no luck.
Do you even have a fantasy that boys would be able to play?
No, we sent them to bed.
We told them, you guys won't be able to play until tomorrow.
Oh, because it was night.
Yeah. Hopefully tonight it'll be all good.
Yeah, they're expecting to play, so hopefully it works.
Yeah. Getting together for an hour, no luck.
Did they do stress tests?
like every weekend i guess they weren't stressy enough yeah yeah if he has a response to the idea that they didn't do stress they did stress tests yeah that could be the start of panel two yeah i mean do we do we do we need to boil this down yeah maybe yeah i mean do we actually need to choose one thing because i mean obviously we can recount this and i feel like there's value in that but it's not a very fun strip yeah right is it i think the idea that you do stress tests every weekend and then you still people still can't log in yeah plenty for a strip yeah i think so too for an hour no luck
yeah yeah he was angry to try to get there for yeah i mean that's good right yeah panel one is still legit and did you stress test like every weekend i think they could have used one more they needed like one more like one more good one very stressful very stressful though yes yes they did and they still weren't prepared.
No. No they weren't.
What were they testing?
Yeah I mean I want to talk about the connection thing but if listen to this.
Yeah. Let me flip this on its head.
Woah what? Alright go ahead.
Dork. How did Sea of Thieves go last night?
Well once I was able to log in I managed to collect 4 chests but then i got jumped and somebody stole stole them all so i they still have absolutely nothing also it's like the greatest pirate simulator ever yeah i don't know it's like i think i want to be mad but also i think they've captured piracy yeah i think that at least has a punch yeah you know oh it's a it's a it's like both versions yeah yeah then i got on solo grabbed some chests chests it sounds like it sounds like they've captured piracy i mean if god if you really want to be mean you could be like man it sounds like they they really
captured piracy right i mean they those guys stole your chests and rare stole your 60 dollars i mean it's the game is like the game is a statement about piracy but if you really really think about it yeah i got i got jumped by some guys who stole everything i had i did get a an achievement for having a chest i collected sold by someone else oh that's great yeah what is it uh i don't remember the name of it dude that is sick yeah that is a fun thing to track you go get the chest yeah and then someone but then it's It must be identified somewhere.
That someone else sold it.
Yeah. Someone from another party.
Someone from another party sold it.
That's hardcore. It doesn't work.
And then Rare stole your $60.
Karen and I tried to log on for like an hour.
We weren't able to do it.
I feel ripped off. Hey, this sounds like the greatest pirate simulator ever.
Think about how many layers there are.
There are here. Let's get a piratical onion.
Then I went on solo.
I was able to get in solo and grab some chests.
But then somebody stole them.
So, I still have nothing.
Still greatest pirate simulator ever.
We weren't able to play together, so I feel kind of ripped off.
Greatest pirate simulator ever.
So I finally got in alone and someone stole all the chests I got.
Still, greatest pirate simulator ever.
It's like, I'm just, I mean, I got to say, I'm impressed at how far they're willing to maintain the...
I'm impressed at how many layers this works on.
Honestly, I'm impressed at how many layers this works on.
I was able to get in solo and grab some chests, But then somebody stole them and sold them.
Honestly, I feel that sounds very piratical to me.
Piratical? Is that being of pirates?
Yeah, a sadistic version of pirates.
I was able to get in solo and grab some chests.
Sounds very piratical to me.
This doesn't have anything to do with my dad.
He doesn't come into this.
Fucking just shut up.
I mean, that sounds like the most authentic pirate experience possible.
I was in all those.
I mean, I put time in those stress tests.
Yeah. I feel kind of.
Yeah, I put in all the stress tests so the game would be stress tested.
Honestly, I feel kind of ripped off.
I mean, that's what I was doing.
That's why I was in there.
Sure. it was labor like i mean playing my time is my time is fucking valuable and not just to me okay like there's a lot of people in my house that need my time is not always the best no if if i betas are not you know there was a period of time where it was 100 betas all the time can't wait yeah can't get enough yeah right those times are over if i jump into a beta it's because i want to help that company yeah that's why i do it right yeah i mean there was that one phase where there There was that horrible stutter between decks.
Oh, yeah. If you'd go from the top of the deck to the mid -ship or whatever, like underneath, it would stop, and you'd get sick because it was first -person.
Yeah. Wow. Great pirate sim.
I feel like that. You're like, it's on brand for a pirate sim.
No, no, exactly. In the last one, I still feel like that supports the overall pirate, the overall theft. And then honestly, I'm impressed at how many layers this works on.
That's the final line.
It's just Taiko's line about being ripped off, right?
Yeah, yeah. What's the line that leads into it?
I played in all the stress tests so the game would be stress tested.
I feel kind of ripped off.
Kind of ripped off.
So they stole from you.
So the developer stole from you also?
So Taiko's just so impressed by all this.
Yeah. What do you expect?
They all dress like pirates.
it's in keeping with the theme I feel very ripped off by the pirate game you think the pirate game stole from you I feel like this is on you I feel like there were clues yeah but I want to I want to talk about like how the ripoff because the end line is so good yeah it communicates the whole thing yeah I just want him to come in come in here and say it's like you know there's like they still also like everybody like the whole way down right Tycho saying that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great way to start your pirate game.
If I was going to launch a pirate game, I'd do it exactly the same way.
That's very meta. You realize how meta that is, right?
Eventually I got in alone.
loan like gabe would probably skip over it yeah exactly no it's just yeah okay so okay so the developer robbed so the developer robbed you so the developer of a pirate game robbed you you realize how meta that is right yeah honestly i'm impressed with how many layers this works on yeah how deep does this go so then gabe talks about getting a loan getting all the stuff stolen yeah yeah uh how was launch not a scene of thieves is he was angry i like it okay um karen i tried to get in together for an hour no luck i was able to get in solo and grab some chests but then somebody stole them and sold
them that sounds like the most pirate experience possible it's like i have the chests i have in here so he should mention the chests basically okay the second the line that gabe has here says that you played in the stress test so the game would be stress tested and you feel ripped off yeah and then the last line from taiko says so the developer of a pirate game robbed you You realize how meta that is, right?
Honestly, I'm impressed at how many layers this works on.
Yeah. Yeah, I like it.
Okay. Oh, when I cast the pot, it's like I cast the rod, keeping it hard like a motherfucker gas rubber.
I'm reeling cod, today's fresh catch. I mean a podcast, something about nets.
Yes, it gets bitter when it's wetter.
I'm fettered by my fish gear.
Catch and release, get in that crease when my fish near.
Talk about a plant best laid off that stray.
And yes, I crave that tuna with his pec fins blade.
But while I'm glistening from the old sea, You better listen into TLC I got that, I got that wild -caught salmon It's tender and it's moist Downloadable content, a podcast of choice
