I know that we're recording.
Oh, yeah. Okay, good.
We definitely are. That's how you know.
I didn't check the levels before, but it turned out okay.
Maybe there's a lesson there for all of us.
Are we recording now, though?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We've been recording the whole time, and well, and well.
Well, let's write a comic strip.
Deal. I also played...
I tried to jump back into The Division.
I heard you and Keek talking about it yesterday.
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What Keek discovered is that it is a PC game just like rainbow six yeah like that's where that engine wants to breathe yeah but i don't know were you playing on xbox one honestly xbox it might it might actually be really good on xbox one that on console that might be the best place to play it it looked pretty good i think i would need to start over again from the beginning yep that's what i'm gonna do tonight oh really on pc or xbox pc oh okay um i just i wanna i wanna because i checked it out just to like to get a sense of it when i was first playing like everybody was on everybody was playing
it on xbox so that's obviously where i was going to really invest but the tech is shocking this game this game is not new no but the the engine that's underneath that game yeah on pc resolution with pc effects is ridiculous yeah it's fucking stupid yeah it still looked pretty good even on the xbox Oh, definitely.
Yeah, I just felt lost in the— Oh, yeah.
What I found is that it's like I was saying to you and Keek yesterday, right?
Yeah. I felt like when I came back in for a WoW expansion— They've updated it for people who were— Still playing.
Still playing. And it's like, if you're playing a class like Paladin that apparently they never really knew what they wanted to do with— Yeah.
You know, they didn't know what role this hybrid took in any of this— Yeah.
then you're going to come back to a bunch of new stuff and your action bar is going to be missing about five abilities.
Right. Right? So, yeah, I'm going to start over on the hot platform so that I can learn all that stuff as it comes because there's so much new endgame content.
There's so much new open world content.
And then there's the stuff from the DLCs.
Yeah. Like new areas and shit.
The main thing for me that I think is so wild failed is just how much because they did it with the crew as well and there's just a there's a shift in thinking at least at ubisoft where they want us they want to hang around a little while yeah this uh you know maintain even if it's a small audience serve them very well yeah yeah exactly like make sure that they feel the love because it sort of looked like r6 because r6 is one of the best it's one of the best shooters ever yeah it came out and didn't really make any kind of splash well yeah and it's it's because I think it's similar to has been
in that way it's verbs like the way that you play it like it's definitely a shooter in some basic ways but if you try to play it like a regular shooter you'll get chewed up pretty bad yeah and I think that it just had some new language some new concepts that a lot of people bounced off of But they kept working on it and kept fixing it And now people come in because they're watching these league matches There's lots of ways to get there There's a very cheap version you can get straight out That includes a few people and some money to get a couple extra ones But yeah, it's like that's new Like hanging
around, not trying to make Because for a long time, even for them Like the annual route was how you did it but they did that annual route with assassin's creed and arguably drove it straight into the right what if you just make a game and then produce a year's worth of content for it right for people to come back yeah and hang out right it's just it's weird it's a different business model like i don't know how it i don't know if it is serving them yeah i don't know yeah so i i tried that and then i played that uh monster hunter beta which i thought was pretty fun i mean it's it's monster hunter
oh yeah yeah exactly like when i saw when i saw it at e3 it was during the the playstation thing i assumed it was a playstation exclusive yeah it's just a new monster hunter game and you can get anywhere you want yeah yeah i played a couple of the single player ones and then i went and did a four -player mission that was really cool actually oh yeah which is the scale yeah like the place always had big scale but the character was so big here yeah you know like actually showing it in place i think it's i mean that's pso yeah like that's good that's a very good place to be like the even more elaborate
pso the monsters were or at least a couple that i saw were very interesting too they said cool ways of attacking and oh yeah and you know they got bits on them oh yeah flavorful bits want to hack those teeth off and get them horns absolutely so what are we looking at here news waz yeah it's all jedi it's all last jedi reviews yeah all i want to do like i can't handle it anymore i just want spoilers i can't handle it no man you got a hundred percent spoilers i experienced it in the theater i feel too much pain it's only another couple days the pain of not knowing Tuesday now, you'll probably see
it Friday, Saturday Just wait It's like Maybe it's like a medicine Like I'm trying to get ahead of it, right?
Yeah, but you do that with books too You just read the last page Yeah, it just hurts too much There's too much pain No patience No, I'm just a seeker Of knowledge There's a lot of games Oh, I know We had a blast with those fucking shrines yesterday dude that that is look you know we straight up now tell me straight up now tell me do you really want to love me forever oh oh oh or are you just having fun down down d down down down no that's why all of this happened like is us solving puzzles together in video games yeah on the like on the literal couch like that's that's what we're trying to do
it was that's all i want yeah like i just and those were not easy no like those those shrines are not like the other shrines at least the ones that i've seen maybe near at the end of the game they get pretty bonks i'd say those are still pretty pretty hard yeah well they're just there's still meat yeah like there's still meat on those bones yeah so so but when you got home you didn't even play that no i played other stuff yeah i want to try that beta and well yeah because time Yeah, time limited, right?
Yeah. But, yeah, there's games galore.
We can feast on them.
I mean, there might be something in that idea of, well, no, we did that, I guess, that idea of overthinking puzzles.
We did that with Tomb Raider.
Oh, yeah, and that's a really good one.
Yeah. Well, yeah, and it's like, oh, it's also like The Witness.
Like, I don't even know if there's a puzzle.
Yeah. Right? If it's like you go in here, you know there's a puzzle.
But how you're supposed to solve it, I would be very surprised if we solved it in what would be the correct way.
Well, no, you're talking about the one.
I don't think it's a spoiler because there's no way we solved it correctly.
We're just going to tell you what happened when we were playing this puzzle.
So there's these two big boxes, these two long crates.
They look almost like a mesh version of a shipping crate or a rail car.
And they're on these tracks.
And you're clearly supposed to be smart enough to create an elaborate scaffold scaffold yeah but what we did instead being men of base character we instead got up on top of it men of initiative men of initiative and drive yeah not erudition no underneath the crate my friend mike krahulik placed two bombs and then he elevated those bombs with a column of ice space tucked them right underneath right literally right beneath it yeah and then we stood on top of it and basically just made like an elevator right it was you know what it is it's like those it's like that tower of terror yeah in a california adventure
pop the bombs and just rode it up we just rode up and then just jumped off it was i mean it was exhilarating i mean that's the thing about, uh, we were talking about the physics puzzles, right?
Like, you can solve them a number of ways, right?
Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, and I think that, I think that that's what's great about them.
Like, obviously, it lets you bust them.
Sure. It lets you bust the puzzles.
Yeah, but, I mean, there's no, you can't break them too badly, I don't think.
I mean, I, if you figure out how to get there, I think they're fine.
Like... Oh, no, but I think they, I think that they would have been delighted.
Yeah, they probably love all the ridiculous ways people are getting through these shrines and right yeah but i would i gotta go find a video of somebody solving that yeah we should right i don't remember what the shrine was called what's champion's ballad yeah i think it was called the secret hidden staircase or secret staircase or something yeah champions ballad ex shrines right yeah something staircase for sure that much i know herbosa's sung great plateau sato mephis song yeah it was in that one there we go it's the sato no it wasn't this it's the ma elia secret stairway there you go oh yeah
no that's that makes a lot of sense yeah that's not how we did it nope i just yeah i mean theirs is like hey you know stack them in an intelligent way that allows you to win and succeed because you're a smart person and you deserve respect whereas ours was like invent rocketry brute force is how we do it invent rocketry and um do something unsafe with your own body because we almost killed ourselves with bombs but that was after a good 30 minutes oh yeah of fucking around in there trying to figure out some other their way oh yeah and there's always that moment where you do something and you know
you've done something see that happened to me did you beat ori no i didn't beat the blind forest yeah i got to that kind of stuff later in ori because there's some amazing challenges in uh that game as well yeah and it's like i got a sense of it early on in this room i was like there is no fucking way that they want me to do this right and it's like i mean i have to there's no platforms of any kind like the whole way you get up this column is just by using that reverse like getting near a bullet and pushing yourself off so there's there's no there's no rest you just it's like you just have to
use this bullet hell right as your mode of propulsion yeah so you're jumping off of bullets while avoiding other bullets but getting close enough to them to use them as like a ladder yeah Yeah, and I was just, after I did it, it was just like, you sons of bitches.
Like, you cruel men.
Yeah, that's just what's best in life.
Yeah, that was fun.
Solving puzzles with your friend on the couchito.
Man, Switch hits another impressive sales milestone.
This is on IGN. Igin?
Well, yeah, it's just hard to believe it's only been out for nine months.
Yeah, yeah, it really is.
It sold 10 million units in nine months.
Jesus. That's weird. Like, I know it's great.
It's at that point, we've talked about this before, where it's like, if a new game comes out, it's like, well, you should have put that on the Switch. And that's not fair, obviously.
No. Not every game can live there, but they should.
But they should, and it's a great idea.
See, we have Hearthstone Dungeon Runs.
Oh, yeah. Did you play it yesterday?
Yeah, I did. What did you think of them?
I think it's pretty interesting.
They could expand that.
That should just be the new, you learn so much. Yeah, it needed like a solitaire type mode, I think.
Right, and not one that is really just AI versions of decks, but unique challenges.
And then the fact that the bosses that you encounter are randomized, that's good too.
Where do we draw our strip from?
Exactly. You have dungeon runs, there's monster hunting.
There's the champion's ballad.
yeah so just just new shrines honestly like by itself yeah and you also called it very well i did yeah i thought for sure but you identified the region very well i did not i did not see it i did not scale it correctly in my mind oh but you basically had it right away and then i told you that that was not it and then you had to fuck around for a while yeah that was like the seventh one I've done and I've looked at that map for a couple hundred hours yeah it's basically Portal I could do a whole new game if there was a DLC that was just like 30 of those last night I was thinking about at some point
they'll do another Zelda right?
It better have fucking shrines.
Like is this a model now?
Yeah I mean they've always had something like it.
Like their dungeons are always tricksy.
Yeah. Right? I'm trying to think what was another one What was another one that was tender?
Yeah, I don't know.
Or, the other way they could do it would be, like, Mario Maker.
Because all those puzzles are made of the same chunks.
That's true, yeah. They could do Mario Maker for shrines.
Yeah. And it would be a Hu -Ten -Nani.
Like, we play a lot of, like, Elliot and I play a lot of portal maps that are made by the community with the tool.
Really? Yeah. Sometimes we'll make them for each other.
Yeah. Like, we'll just make fucking broken -ass challenges.
we'll make challenges for each other that we think can't be solved yeah a Mario Maker for the Shrines Shrine Maker would be pretty fun oh yeah that would be a fucking killer piece of DLC yeah you don't sell that one you just put it out for free because it requires the game and then people make a bunch of free content yeah the Super Mario one the final round of the Omega Thun that had the Mario Maker level that was a hoot it was good i guess you could also put the pub g on there since we since it's out on xbox now yeah now having played lots and lots of fortnight ton of fortnight yeah yeah i mean what what are your
comparisons like having come to this game from the opposite direction i think of many people yeah fortnight is fun fortnight's really fun yeah and i definitely missed the like i ran into a building and immediately wanted to tear the roof off to tear the roof off the house yeah and build like stuff make it into a fort expose those foes with your mouth i guess yeah yeah uh and so that felt weird but once i got over that it was the the big difference i think is really just the scale how big how big it is like it is fortnite is an arcade action game oh definitely i would say and this is like a simulation yeah
it's a murder simulation yeah but i i definitely see i can can see the attraction i am yeah you get it yeah i get it you can see it from here right yeah it's just a lot more fiddly you know i feel i spent a lot more time oh yeah picking things up yeah oh i got like a new stock for like i didn't expect to be that felt weird because in fortnight it's like you're either running or hiding or built like you're never just sort of sitting and futzing with your stuff but here i was like oh i got a new stock i'm gonna put that on i got some fingerless gloves when i put those yeah i don't i'll be curious
about like how the ui works for attaching a stock uh well you if you see it on the ground and you can't attach it you can just hit a to attach it immediately oh nice okay or you can x to pick it up and it'll just go into your inventory okay so it's fast yeah honestly no drag that sounds better no drag yeah yeah because generally speaking you hit tab to go into the inventory which also shows what's on the ground oh and then being able to do that kind of stuff quickly yeah the first few games we played we died in the inventory all the time yeah i think i think i just need to get more used to it
but yeah you can get more used to it or you can play fortnight yeah i think i would just play fortnight right it's so weird to to to be in there and everything just seems so gray and brown and stock like just these little like someone drug like they looked at a drop down menu and it said you know farmhouse and they drug it over and placed it and maybe like turned it a little bit like it just seems weird it's all like a set yeah when you when you play it more yeah and you start to layer your own knowledge and in like emotional experiences over that geography yeah it becomes a lot more of a place
it becomes a lot more real yeah at first it might look stopped yeah but eventually that's the house where this thing happened right right yeah if eventually they once that other data gets gets layered on the just the topography yeah you come away like these things these places mean something important now yeah i think it's i think it's a different enough game oh i think i think you can't super no compare them straight across they can honestly i think they can both win yeah the vehicles was was interesting on one side but i don't think you can compare that to the base building on the other side
like that makes it so different oh no they they're not comparable yeah but that's the main point that i would make is that they have some superficial similarities yeah but they really aren't like you they don't really map yeah it was funny because i ran into a building and it's funny because i have a lot of the same instincts and the same like muscle memory right so i run into a building i go upstairs i'm looking for stuff i close the door and i hide to sort of go through my gear in this back room and in my head i'm like oh shit they could they They could just come in behind me, but they can't
knock down a wall. No. They would have to come in the door.
They can kill you through the window.
Sure. But if you really have a room, then you have a room.
The doors are destructible, though.
Keep that in mind. Oh, okay.
Quite destructible.
Sure. But it makes those fights so different.
They're not just going to build a ramp up to the roof and then come in through the attic.
Right. Oh, no, no. They're not going to make a scaffold.
Right. They're not going to hire a team.
Yeah. you know um yeah pub g pub g fortnite is good star wars tell last jedis i think works too it's just like i have to like i have to like i'm exactly the opposite of kiko like it's i'm in physical pain now you need spoilers it hurts like i guess you know that the knowledge is out there i can feel like my mouth is dry like i can feel the the void in my psychology which of course is mapped onto like my rib cage i can feel the void where the information would go and i know that it's out there so you're not afraid that someone will spoil it for you no i see it i'm i'm begging someone to i am begging someone
to spoil the worst case scenario now is that i'll go to some place that It has false spoilers.
But, I mean, you're going to see the movie in a couple days.
Why not just experience it and be excited and be like, whoa, wow, this is awesome.
It's not parsing as excitement.
It's parsing as heat.
Oh, wow. It's parsing as a burning heat.
Well, I can tell you that I read that Rey is Darth Vader.
Hmm. Yeah. So. Like, not returned.
Not returned. Just like the regular Darth Vader.
Just regular Darth Vader.
That's what he looks like without the armor on.
Interesting. yeah now that's the ultimate it's like twist like we had the um the bench and there was that strip where the squirrel took off his head yeah and it was a taiko it was taiko yeah and then he took off the taiko head and it was a squirrel yeah there's some weird bench strips god damn it but it's i mean it's it's the same thing right yeah like when luke helped him take off his mask in return of the the jedi he had that face he was very she was swollen yeah exactly no i'm saying oh that was another mask it's just a second mask yeah it would be ray underneath that one oh definitely yeah
and you take that mask off it's finn and you take that mask off it's jar jar what oh no oh yeah he's back dude he's back he's all cybernetic yeah but yeah i don't know i actively seeking spoilers i think is not a common behavior no generally speaking people try to avoid that yeah i'm having a hard time finding spoilers for The Last Jedi.
I can't hold out anymore.
I need all those spoilers.
But I do that. I read the last pages of books all the time.
That's so bizarre. And I'll read it and I'll be like, I don't understand any of this.
You get frustrated.
It's like, who's this?
Who's this person? I don't even know.
Why is it bad that they're dead?
I don't even know this guy.
I don't even know this Joker.
What's his deal? But yeah, just that explanation.
it's just like i know where the information would go inside here i need to know it i can't i can't hold out so it's only like four more days three more days dude you're gonna see it in like three days i mean comic wise gabe would be the one that is just burning up to know well yeah yes but But Gabe, like, there's scenarios in which Gabe will behave in a way that...
I mean, really, this just maximizes his own pleasure.
Like, the waiting is still a Gabe thing to do in this case.
Yeah. He wants to glut himself on it, and that requires that he fasts.
That's not what's happening with me.
Okay. So you're actively seeking out spoilers.
What? No. Or it's like, it could start with, like, goddamn these spoilers.
And then Gabe's like, oh, you're having trouble avoiding Last Jedi spoilers.
No, I'm having trouble finding them.
Don't know if I can trust these spoilers.
Like what the spoiler you read says could be a funny punchline.
Exactly. It's just like, it's like they've made a planet.
It's just like, cause it's just like the remix.
It's like the same way that things are at like Taco Bell.
Where there's just like the seven fundamental universal elements.
They only have so many ingredients.
and it's it's just a matter of like okay it's bigger it's like death star that's pretty cool how about this bigger whole world yeah hold the world big gun you know what last time in a taco well no it's the same no it's the same thing right where it's just like and then we wrap that whole thing in a tortilla yeah and we fry it yeah right and it's like or make it cold and put an ice cream i mean whatever i don't know it's crispy yeah it's a crisp burrito so it's like oh yeah you thought the ability to destroy one planet at a time was pretty good.
Well look at this. This beam comes out.
Seven planets are destroyed.
You know. And it's like you see the like boo boo.
Yeah. And it's like oh no. It's like seven planets.
You know what I mean?
Oh yeah. And everybody on the planet's like no. They look up and it's like what's that?
It's like that's those other six planets just got destroyed.
We're probably oh no. Shit.
Right. Yeah. And it's just like that.
It's like oh yeah well look at this.
How do they crank it up?
it's like now they need like a planet -sized darth vader yeah like they just need a big vader like that flies through the space i'm not sure i can trust so many spoilers yeah because you know there's you know that there's people in those spoiler threads and this is like a lot of fun for them oh absolutely and i said that's the person i don't like yeah you know what i mean yeah but this one says it turns out that ray is luke's father it's like i didn't see that one no ray is vader's father this one says that ray is steven spielberg's father ray is steven spielberg like not like acting like like
the real i don't know i feel like that's weird i don't know if i don't know if i can trust that one the idea that you would just flip it and rey is luke's father that's the ultimate it's like as in the man that's the ultimate twist no it's not that would be game shit that's the ultimate twist no no no stop no stop don't be impressed by that i was on the prowl for star wars spoilers but i was on the prowl for star wars spoilers because not knowing was burning a hole in my chest but i don't buy any of these dude you're gonna see the movie in like three days why wait three days when i can find out
right now that ray is actually luke's dad i don't know about that one holy shit no no no don't be him no you're not allowed we should get a couple spoilers in if we can now but it makes sense though i think we've actually literally done that joke have we oh yeah doesn't that sound like a game thing?
Have we done it in the last five years?
Is that the rule? That's the rule.
I say we make it five.
Have we done it at any recent time?
Yeah. Have we done it in a way that allows me to do it again very soon?
Yeah, you should have three.
Three spoilers. I'd buy any of these.
I don't think Ray is Luke's father.
Ray is Luke's father?
Doubt it. I don't think Ray is Luke's father.
I don't think so. I don't buy it.
I don't know, it seems unlikely Chewbacca and Finn have sex?
Hmm, maybe not Finn is Chewbacca Why do you think they already did an is?
Are they all ises? So and so is so and so?
I mean that's Star Wars I don't think Finn is Chewbacca Because I've seen they're both in the same scene Yeah I don't think Finn's Chewbacca Because I've seen them both in the same scene because they're in scenes together and I don't I kind of get that one though you know the force I kind of get that no you don't you don't get it I don't allow you to get it oh I kind of get that one you don't though I kind of get that one though you don't I won't allow you to get it I won't allow you to get it.
Yeah, I mean, because Gabe could come in and read one, too.
Yeah. If they're together, right?
Right. It's pretty old school, like, over -the -shoulder computer stuff.
This one makes sense.
Oh, no, because Gabe, he wouldn't, though, because he doesn't want spoilers.
Yeah. Right? Right.
He's like, stop. You need to stop spoiling shit.
Stop spoiling this shit, man.
These are not real spoilers, all right?
Darth Vader is not Coruscant.
He was a planet the whole time?
Stop spoiling shit.
GD, stop spoiling shit.
Just GD? GD. GD, stop spoiling shit.
These aren't real spoilers, dude.
Darth Vader is not the Millennium Falcon.
GD, stop spoiling shit.
he won't say goddamn but no says shit in the same sentence yeah these aren't real spoilers these aren't real spoilers man yeah what is the shittiest what is this shittiest also it's like i don't think finn is chewbacca because they're like that's the reason because they're in scenes together yeah it seems unlikely yeah darth vader snoke kylo ren like where do you want to go these are our ingredients oh yeah exactly these are our yeah guac our beans sour cream yeah our our cheese yeah what are the what are the ancient elements that make up our universe according to the great book of taco bell it's
ground beef chicken chicken tortilla tortilla is one of the fundamental elements taco shell well it's just a fried tortilla yeah it's not a state change right yeah um cheese cheese sour Sour cream.
Sour cream. Guac. Guac.
Salsa. Salsa. Yeah.
That's it. Well, now they have the Doritos Locos tacos and stuff.
Yeah, but it's a tortilla.
It's still a tortilla.
Yeah, it's a fried.
And lettuce. I guess they have straight up.
Well, no, lettuce. Lettuce is the true other ingredient.
Right. So those are the seven.
They have various sauces.
They have like a ranch. Yeah.
A ranchito. Yeah. What the hell is that?
They have the, but they also, like, one of the awesome things they have there is the chili cheese burrito.
I don't know where chili fits into this cosmology.
I don't know. I've never had that, no. Oh, dude, it's fucking amazing.
Like, a chili, like, there's nothing on a cold day.
Yeah. Nothing like a chili cheese.
I don't understand how you give me shit about Taco Time, but you eat Taco Bell.
Oh, I have to have something to give you shit about.
Oh, it's not legitimate shit?
No, you don't. the reality it's just very difficult I have to take it where I can get it you comport yourself in such a way that truly damaging you is hard like what if I if your weird squashy MCP face ever sort of stops long enough for me to get my identity disk in there I gotta go doesn't even matter why these are real spoilers it's like these are real spoilers okay Kylo Ren is not Jabba the Hutt But the last one we might want to switch it around.
Yeah. Like we might want to like do not is unless we have a great is.
Yeah. Right. They're not building a second Darth Vader.
It's like it's going to keep building these worlds.
It's like, no, no. The only problem was that one wasn't big enough.
Yeah. Now we're going to shoot suns.
The problem before was we were getting the energy from the sun. Now we just shoot the sun. We shoot suns like bullets.
The sun cannon. The idea that the character would also be a ship.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it sucks.
Kylo Ren is not the Millennium Falcon.
Gasp. The gasp. The gasp.
We also have these droids and the Force.
That's true. Yeah, I mean, what are the spoilers?
The parentage thing.
Living the parentage thing is good.
Yeah. What are the real spoilers?
What are the spoilers people are actually talking about?
Who the last Jedi is, maybe?
Yeah, Yoda. Yeah. They're saying that Yoda might be in there.
The last Jedi is not R2 -D2.
Yeah, it says, whatever is the last Jedi.
Yeah. The Millennium Falcon.
The Last Jedi is not the Millennium Falcon.
But what if it was?
What if it was? Yeah, that's funny.
That's good. Yeah, it's like he was agitated about the spoiler, but now that he's heard it.
Right. You good? Yeah.
Yes, it gets better when it's wetter I'm fettered by my fish gear Catch and release, get in that crease When my fish near Talk about a plant best laid Off that stray And yes I crave That tuna with his peck -finst blade But while I'm glistening from the old sea You better listen into TLC I got that, I got that wild -caught salmon It's tender and it's moist Downloadable content A podcast of choice We'll be right back.
