This is The Playbook, a limited series by Good Inside in partnership with Nike.
I'm going to be talking to some of the most successful athletes of our time.
Leaders who have had real impact in their sport.
And I'm going to be talking with them about their highs, about their lows, about their mindset, about team dynamics, about what really motivates them, about the way they talk to themselves and recover from difficulties stages.
And I also have some of my favorite moments with these athletes where we talk about their life off the field, their early years, their family life, the things that keep them grounded, their rituals and superstitions that keep them going.
We cover so much in every conversation.
I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside.
From the outside, people see Russell Wilson as polished, professional and yes, obsessed with winning.
They see someone driven, someone who's relentlessly optimistic, guided by faith, grounded in family and fueled by a higher purpose.
But what the image doesn't always show is what it takes to be that person.
The discipline, the mindset, the daily work required to hold it all together.
The part of the story that doesn't show up on the leaderboard or during a broadcast.
Over the past decade, Russell has built a legacy as one of the NFL's most respected quarterbacks and community figures.
He's a Super Bowl champion, the Walter Payton Man of the Year and a tireless advocate for faith, family and service.
He's also a devoted partner to his wife Ciara, and a proud father of four, leading his family with the same intention and faith that guide him on the field.
At its core, Russell's story is about mindset over everything else.
The belief that mental strength, preparation, purpose, habits, systems matter as much as talent.
He spent his career seeking inspiration from great coaches, mentors and leaders who challenge him to keep growing, on and off the field.
I'm so excited for you to hear this conversation.
Hi.
What's up, Dr. Becky?
How you doing?
I'm excited to be on your show.
I am so excited to be talking to you.
We have so much to get to and I want to talk about so much of your career in sports and parenting and kids.
But sometimes I feel like the best way to understand that is actually to start by rewinding a little bit.
So I actually want to start, such a psychologist thing to say, with your childhood.
I don't know the expectations that were set by your parents, how that kind of shaped things.
And...
I learned that you grew up in a family where there were pretty high standards.
So just want you to talk a little bit about your early years, what that was like.
My childhood, I think what my parents did really well.
They always encouraged rather than discouraged.
My dad used to ask me questions.
Like you know Russ, you're eight years old right now, but you're 25 years old.
Paint a picture for me.
And I would start painting this picture as my dad was driving.
And he'd be like, that story's not good enough.
I'm like, what?
What do you mean?
That was a good story.
And he's like, no, no, no.
I want more.
I want your imagination to be even bigger.
But I think those early years, from five to 12, 13 years old, my parents and my mom and my dad, they really both just influenced me in a big way.
They painted a picture that was bigger than I could even see.
And I think that allowed me to create.
That allowed me to dream.
That allowed me to go after what I really wanted to go after.
And I think that was a big deal for me.
And next thing, you know, when I turn 12, 13 years old, I'm starting to wake up at 5, 15 on my own and say dad, let's go hit grounders.
Let's do some baseball.
Let's do some football early in the mornings before he'd go to work.
So that discipline of getting up early was a big, I would say, proponent of my trajectory later on.
Yeah.
And did, just to be explicit, you're five, you're six.
You're like, no.
Becky, at that point, someone was waking me up.
They're like, let's go.
Let's get out of bed.
Let's kind of get to work.
Yeah, my dad would knock on the door and be like, son, wake up.
Let's go.
5.30, we gotta go.
And were you like, yay?
Or were you like, oh, man.
Yeah, no, I was, I wanted to sleep extra and do all that.
But Next thing, you know, as I got older 8 9 10, especially when I was like 11, 12 years old that shifted in the atmosphere.
I was waking my dad like that.
Well, we don't.
And so that was a big piece to it.
But he instilled that in me, you know, and I always saw my mom working.
She was an ER nurse.
She was a woman that was up and trying to save lives.
And, you know, and I just saw the toughness and the grit, you know, my mom and my dad.
And I feel like they would do anything, like anything to help me.
And I never forget this.
I had this one kid come up to me.
And I had this kid come up to me and was like, hey, you know, I know what your dad does.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
My dad's a lawyer.
What do you mean?
He's like, well, I know what your dad does.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
In front of all the kids.
And he was like, your dad works at the gas station.
I'm like, huh?
My dad doesn't work.
He's like, no, your dad works at the gas station.
I'm like, my dad saw your dad.
I'm like, yeah, that's because my dad's doing a case and he's doing an investigation.
My dad's working extra because of that.
I go home with my dad.
I'm devastated.
All these kids are like, I'm going to this rich private school and I can't afford it.
I'm the one and only black kid there, basically.
I'm like, I'm like, dad, you work at the gas station?
He goes, yes, son.
I said, what do you mean?
He goes, well, I'm working extra hours.
I said, why?
He goes, you want to go to a great school, right?
Like you want to go do all the things you want to do.
I got to do extra for you guys.
I'm doing anything for you.
And I remember him saying, I got to buy those books.
And so I just remember.
What's coming up for you now as you tell that story?
I just sacrifice everything.
I think sacrifice is everything.
I think the ability to sacrifice for your kids and your loved ones.
I was playing football and I was playing basketball and to buy the bat from Dick's Sporting Goods, or to buy the new A2000 baseball glove from Dick's Sporting Goods, or to buy the new football cleats, or to whatever the new football that I wanted to buy.
I always wanted this Wilson football and I was like, I want to buy that.
Or if I wanted to buy some new Nike cleats.
It was like You know, I had to.
My dad had to work extra and I didn't understand that at the time, but he sacrificed.
My mom, same thing.
And so I think that's taught me a lot.
It's taught me a lot about, you know sacrifice, and sometimes sacrifice in my situation is different.
And I just feel like at times, you know, no matter how much we have or how little we have, there's a point in time that parenthood is all about sacrifice.
It's the willingness to do whatever it takes for your kids to have a better life than you.
And I think that's something that I've learned along the way.
That story about your dad working at the gas station, I can like my heart like it.
Just that hit me in such a deep, heavy way, way.
It is amazing when we look back on our lives and we think about these very specific examples that represent something so big about what our parents really were willing to do for us.
And clearly that shaped your attitude toward hard work and grit and determination.
And so linking that to more of your career today.
How did some of that prepare you for this career where I mean every moment of your professional life is taped, is analyzed, is talked about, right?
I mean, the good parts, the hard parts, right?
And so moments that don't go as you wanted, don't go as imagined, where a lot of those moments are very private for people.
They're not for you.
How do you feel like the way you were brought up helped you cope with those.
Could you walk through a specific example?
Yeah, I mean, I have a few examples.
I think losing my dad was one.
Yeah, I looked up to my dad.
My dad was everything to me.
He's my closest friend.
He was someone I could count on, someone I could rely on.
But I just remember going to NC State.
I get there.
My dad says to me, he says, I want you to promise me something.
I said, well, what's that?
He goes, well, I want you to graduate early.
I said, graduate early?
Like, what do you mean?
What does that mean?
Like, graduate early from college?
Like, how fast?
He said, I want you to graduate in three years or less.
I also think about in life, too, you go through challenges, obviously career-wise.
You know, I won a Super Bowl, won Rookie of the Year.
I won the Super Bowl the next year.
And then finally all the way back to the Super Bowl, get to the one year online and it doesn't work.
And...
Through that, I realized that not everybody's on your side.
Everybody that you think that's for you may not be for you.
Like they pile on or?
Just like in the sports world.
You know you carry a lot of weight and carry a lot of weight on your shoulders and people love you one day and they hate you the next.
And that's how fickle the world is sometimes.
But for someone listening to this who's an athlete, or their kid is, or you know kids get in this place let's say it's.
You know they're like oh, that game didn't end the way I want.
Or I wish I had passed the ball.
Or how did I miss an open net?
Whatever the thing is.
And there's a period where maybe this doesn't happen to you.
I want to know where there's a period of you can be really hard on yourself.
You kind of listen to the noise and it gets in.
Then maybe you have to work to get it out.
How does that actual process work for you?
Are you like, no, no, no.
I just, it never comes in.
Or no, like it comes in and I have to work to get it out.
How do you talk yourself through that Super Bowl or through something else?
Yeah, I think there's moments in life that definitely the negative stuff comes in.
And I think what true champions are able to do is it's not that it won't come in.
Negativity is going to come in and come your way.
And adversity is definitely going to happen.
What we do know in life is adversity is going to happen.
But we also know is adversity is temporary.
And I learned this a lot in my mental coach Trevor Moad and I.
He was with me for 10 plus years.
He passed away of cancer, unfortunately.
And man, he was the number one sports psychologist basically in the world.
We always talked about this idea that adversity is only temporary.
And we believe it so much that there's a thought that, you know, we believe in positive.
I'm a positive person by nature, Dr. Becky.
I'm definitely positive.
But what we found was that, yes, positivity works.
But what we know works 100% of the time is negativity.
And so we started talking about this concept around neutral thinking.
What does neutral thinking really happen?
When things go well, and you throw five touchdowns, can you stay like this?
And when things don't go your way and you've thrown three or four interceptions and it's the NFC Championship game, how do you stay okay?
Because it's still just a 16-point game, and we can still win this game.
And you've got to be here.
And so...
I've always believed as a leader, as a husband, as a man, as a father.
It's like man.
I just want to be here so you know what you're going to get every day.
And I think that's a big thing about sports in particular.
There's going to be ebbs and flows.
There's going to be challenges.
And once you realize that you have to embrace that and realize that adversity is going to come your way, I think you take on those challenges and you move forward and you're able to bounce stuff off.
We all think a lot about like, how do I deal with adversity?
There's gonna be times when life doesn't go my way, right?
In sports, with kids, personal life, that's all true.
We all wanna get better at dealing with it.
But what you're talking about with neutral thinking, In order to get better at the lows being less low, we actually have to watch for the potential for a high to make us feel that high.
Because if winning a game makes you feel like I'm a better soccer player and I had five touchdowns in a row and all of a sudden, because of that outcome, my mood goes from here to here, all that leaves me is vulnerable to when I throw two interceptions, for me to feel like the worst quarterback in the world.
And so you're really talking about how much does an outcome change my baseline level of thinking about myself?
And I think a lot of people don't realize that the more we let the good stuff make us feel so much better than everyone else, we're leaving ourselves vulnerable to a bad game, kind of plumbing us into an abyss.
Yeah, it's a perfect thought process.
I think what neutral thinking is to me is this idea that it's not outcome based.
Yes.
A lot of things in life are outcome based.
And I think that when you really learn yourself and you really start mastering the best version of you, you realize that it's not outcome-based but it's process-based.
And understanding that hey, is the process that I'm going through.
The things that I'm going through, that are the, the practices and the lessons and the things happening in life, you know, am I getting better daily, in those daily incremental gains, I think, are really critical and yeah, and so I think I've learned that a lot, that you know what I embrace adversity.
I embrace the process more so than the end result.
If Steph Curry is a 94 free-throw shooter right, and he misses a free throw or two in the NBA Finals, does that make him a a bad free throw shooter?
You know, if michael jordan misses a free throw every once, does that make him a bad?
Absolutely not.
He's still a great free throw shooter yeah, it's just he missed that one yeah, and so sometimes you have to get back to the moment of keeping your elbow in.
If a great golfer misses a putt, does that mean that he's not who he is?
It just sometimes the ball goes, doesn't go your way, and i think the big part of it is is that you get back to the process of their fundamentals.
And I think for me personally, that's something that I've been really addicted to and focused on, even when I'm going through my challenging times is understanding that hey, you know what.
Stay focused on the process of practice.
Stay focused on the process of your warmup.
Stay focused on the process of having the same routine every day.
And that's been a big part of you know, my continual just looking forward to the next moment.
Yeah.
Knowing that when I get the ball again and I get the opportunity again, or whatever it may be that you know the next moment's going to be my best moment.
You know, two things come to mind.
I remember my oldest who used to play baseball.
I remember him coming to us after a game and he was really working on shifting some stuff in his swing to get more power, different things.
And he ended up basically hitting like a lot of outs.
He hardly got on base that game.
And he's like, but I really felt this thing click.
Right.
And I'm like, really, I was like very proud of myself.
Right.
And I feel like it's just such a good example of him separating the thing under his control that is always under his control, his process, his system that he really did believe would eventually help him.
It happened not to get him on base that game, right?
But it actually not only protects our confidence, but it actually keeps us going back and eventually achieving more.
And it sounds like that's kind of what you do, too, back to the system.
Yeah, there's this...
There's this love and addiction for the process, for the great ones.
I think that when you love practice more than the game, You know everybody loves the cheers and everybody loves the moment when you get in the end zone.
But it's the stuff that happened before.
It's all the stuff when you're isolated in your room by yourself and you're laying on your back as a young kid and I'm nine years old throwing the ball up to my ceiling just to work on my spiral.
Yep.
Our brain is a muscle.
You know, you got to work it.
You know, we got to work our mental side every day.
I was talking to somebody, a close friend, the other day about this is like You know, if we can work that every day and communicate with ourselves like what's our own internal dialogue.
And you're playing baseball and you're 0 for 17.
And all you're telling yourself is, I suck.
I'm no good.
I'm terrible.
I can't hit the ball.
I can't do this.
And all of a sudden you keep believing that.
And, you know, versus focusing on just this one pitch.
Just square this pitch up. you know, just square this one pitch up and, you know, it's a home run.
You know, it's interesting.
One of the things at Good Inside we talk a lot about is this importance of separating identity from behavior.
It's when we collapse the two that we spiral.
I'm an awful baseball player.
Like, I'm a good player who's hasn't gotten on base in a while, right?
And if you know you're working on your fundamentals, separating any one moment or one behavior from kind of who you are as a person, gives you a lot more freedom to get back to the fundamentals instead of kind of spiraling essentially in shame.
Well, it's funny you said that because there's.
You know, I do these camps with kids and I talk to kids a bunch and I even talked to our son Future, who loves playing basketball.
He's really good at football, really good at baseball too.
And And it's so funny.
We do these different camps and I try to talk to the kids about.
You know, has there ever been an amazing quarterback?
You've always loved, but he's never thrown an interception.
Like every quarterback that's ever played any games has thrown an interception.
Now that person's also thrown a lot of touchdowns too.
And you have to be able to take the bad and the good and take them together.
And that's why we love the people that we love because they're able to overcome.
And I think that adversity that they are able to overcome makes them great.
And that's part of a two minute drill in football.
You know, you get down and you're down 10 and you got to find a way to come back.
And those are the magical moments.
And those are the moments we have to embrace.
That's right.
I always think sports on the field or off the field, there's no greater feeling than watching yourself do something you weren't sure you could do.
Like the high you end up getting from that, and every moment of adversity kind of sets you up for that moment.
So question in your home.
How do you bring this to life?
These lessons on the football field with your kids and your partnership?
Like what what habits do you guys have?
How do you talk to each other?
I mean, I'm sure stuff comes up all the time.
I think that if mom and dad are good. the kids will be good.
So that's been a big piece for me and Sia is like, let's focus on you and I extremely well.
Let's make sure we go on our date nights every Friday.
Like, let's make sure.
Is that something you guys do?
Oh, yeah.
Ever since we got together, I told her, I'm an old school kind of love guy.
I want old school love.
Like, let's take it back to the old days.
And I think it's important that were able to spend that quality time with each other.
And so that one on one time, like being able to put my phone down for at least an hour and say like let me just, you know, stare you in the eyes and talk, like those moments are, like what I think keeps us going at such a high rate.
Yeah.
And I think a big part of that is saying, hey, let's make sure you and I are good first.
I think for every mom and every dad back at home, like, make sure you guys take care of you first.
And I think it's so funny because I always ask, see, like, who comes first, me or the kids?
And I feel like for moms, there's that nurturing aspect of them.
Yeah, they really want to take care of the kids first.
But I think it's important that we do it together.
Yeah.
And that... you know, if dad and mom are good, then the kids will be good.
And I think part of that after that is like, okay, now each kid's different.
Especially when you have multiple kids.
Like one kid may be super high energy.
Other kid may be lower energy.
One kid may have attitude.
Other kid may not.
So how do you deal with that?
And your approach, I always say KYP, you know your personnel.
I say that in football, but I also say that in life and at home.
It's like KYP.
Each kid's different and you got to know your personnel.
And I think it's so important that we're able to understand how you talk to each one of them, but love them all the same and hold them all accountable the same.
I'm probably the more firm one.
Sierra's good at being clear and firm, but she's got a little more leeway.
But I'm like, no, my yes is yes, my no is no.
If I say yes, you can stay up extra five minutes, you got that five minutes.
So I'm thinking about the way you were talking about your dad.
It was so clear how grateful you were for the life he provided and worked so hard for.
With the life, you have the fame.
You've achieved the success.
How do you think about cultivating gratitude in your kids?
I always feel like when I walk into you know a room, or if I go to the children's hospital, if I go and eat somewhere, like I want to make sure that I clean the dishes.
I don't want to just leave the stuff on the table and not do it.
If I'm going to somebody else's house, you know, it's like Make sure you make each place better.
And I think that's important.
I mean, it's an important lesson because our kids have it different.
Our kids in particular have it different than we grew up.
Yeah.
You know our parents had to work for everything and we've had to work for everything, but we've been blessed beyond measure.
So now how do we do that?
How we give back?
And so we try to teach our kids even, you know, around the holidays, for example, making sure that we
And make them responsible for giving back.
And I think whether it's clothes or whatever it may be.
Those little things along the way that are actually big things to others.
I want to transition a little to think about Because you're in such a unique position to think about tools.
And some of them are probably emotional mindset tools for the next generation.
And especially the next generation of kid athletes who are into sports.
So couple questions along those lines your kid comes to you or you're coaching a team and a kid comes to you, i suck, i'm the worst player on the team.
What, what?
What do you feel like a kid needs?
In that moment, he needs to change his dialogue.
So you, i don't, i don't, i don't let, i don't let my teammates say that, i don't let my kids say that, for dang sure, and i'm not gonna say it to myself.
So as a coach or as somebody leading young kids, I'm not going to let you say that.
Not around me.
And they hear that tone.
Like, not around me.
Like, we're not saying that.
Like, your internal dialogue's got to be a championship dialogue.
What does that sound like after a tough game?
You know, it's like, you know what?
Today was a tough day.
You speak about your truth.
Today was a tough day, but you know what?
Tomorrow's going to be better.
And here's why.
Right?
Like, and you start painting that picture of here's the reasons why.
And here's what I've done before.
You know what?
Like, My dad used to always talk about Hank Aaron.
And for anybody who loves baseball, Hank Aaron is obviously one of the all-time great hitters of all time.
Best baseball player, arguably, of all time.
And, what was interesting, Hank Aaron always believed, even if he went 0 for 4, he always believed he was 4 for 4.
And I think there's a fundamental thought process that we have to...
We have to wire our own mentality and our own language, our own internal dialogue.
It has to be stronger than what the external dialogue is.
But you said something that's nuanced, and I think it's really important.
And again, I think this applies to so many things I think about with kids off the field.
We have to start to connect to someone.
You have to join them where they are today, some version of it. right?
And I would call that like validate where someone is.
But as a coach or as a parent, you have to see a more capable version of that kid than they can access in the moment.
This could be true at drop off.
Your kid's freaking out at drop off.
They don't want to go to school.
And you have to start, I know drop off's hard today.
And I know you're going to end up having a good day at school.
There's like, I see you now.
That's true.
But I also see a version of you that's a little more capable.
And it just reminded me so much of, okay, today was a tough day.
True.
I don't have to be scared of that thought.
And tomorrow is going to be better, right?
Like there's this duality.
Both can be true at the same time.
You can have two truths at the same time.
Yeah.
And I think part of it too is, like you said, painting that picture.
Difference quickly, difference between encouraging your kid and pressuring your kid.
Encouraging to me is you're telling them what they can be.
It's.
You're paying a picture for who they are.
You're encouraging and what they've done and when they can know when they're capable of.
I Think pressuring their kid is is you're putting that, you're putting your own mindset on them and what they, what they have to be.
Yeah, how do you balance, as an athlete, being anyone, being really competitive you want to win and being being a good sport?
I Think it's a character thing hmm um, i think being a good sport is how it's just how the game should be played.
You know, give your all yeah, but don't.
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
You can give your all.
And when we're in between the white lines yeah, you can be, you can be the villain that day.
You know what i mean?
Uh, but once the whistle blows, once it's over okay, like all right, let's move on to the next moment.
And I think there's a great balance to that.
And I think the people that really love the game and respect the game know how to do that well.
When your kids are older and someone just says, what was your dad like?
What's... And they can only say one sentence.
What do you hope they say?
One sentence?
Yep.
So I'll put in one sentence, but I can give you some words.
Okay.
He was charismatic, dynamic, loving...
He was passionate and I think he was forgiving.
Right now in your life.
What is a quiet when you're having something you're proud of?
You know really matters, but maybe isn't visible to other people?
But I just know it matters.
I would say my favorite thing right now is You know, living in New York has been pretty fun.
You know, we live in the city.
And on Fridays, I do all my work early on Friday morning.
I go through all my plays.
I highlight all my plays, all my favorites, this and that.
And when practice is over around 1 o'clock, I make sure I shower up, do everything I need to do to finish the day.
But I try to get out of there by 2 o'clock.
And I go pick up my kids every day and every Friday.
And in the past, I haven't done that as much.
It's kind of been tricky to do, whatever it may be.
But just being able to walk and pick up my kids and pick up all three that are in school right now.
Future Santa and Lynn.
And to walk with Sierra and do that just to see my daughter's face light up when dad's at the end of the step.
She's like, dad, you know.
And, you know, and they always scream mom's name.
But when they're like, dad, you know, when it's like, daddy, you know, future dad, what's up, man?
And they all run over.
Like, that's crazy. probably the loudest one internally, but probably the most quiet.
I don't think anybody recognizes.
I'm just like by myself, you know?
But I feel like that's like, I feel cool today.
It's probably my favorite time.
I love that.
All right.
Welcome to overtime.
This is my rapid fire questions.
You like rise to the adversity of overtime, right?
Everything matters right now.
Okay.
So short questions, whatever comes to mind first.
Best piece of advice you got as a rookie from a veteran?
Take care of your body.
Such good advice.
Do you have a superstition?
Even if it seems silly, you know, it's superstition that you kind of believe on the field.
I'm not superstitious.
I believe in good habits.
Every stadium I go into, I find a spot in the stadium.
Like when I play in MetLife Stadium, for example, where we won the Super Bowl.
I look at the sign where it says life and just thinking about man, everything I've been through and think biblically too, and the scriptures around that.
And so I'm like find a spot in the stadium I can look at to bring me back to ground zero, to bring me back to neutral.
Beautiful.
Proudest moment of your career so far?
Winning the Super Bowl, I think, was definitely pretty cool.
Yeah.
To win it here and just to win it in New York, like, just pretty cool to hold that trophy.
And I'm striving to find a way to win another one.
Amazing.
Parent who's listening has kids in sports.
One piece of advice for a parent with a kid playing sports right now.
My piece of advice is let them play as much as they can.
Man, like what football did for me because I played multiple sports.
Everybody said I was too freaking small.
I couldn't do it.
And there's no way.
He's only 5'11", maybe 5'10".
Like, you know, like there's no chance.
He's got to play a different position.
And you know I've been fortunate to throw for a lot of yards, a lot of touchdowns and win a Super Bowl and a lot of games.
And just knowing kind of internally what God put in you and go for that.
Well, thank you for this conversation.
Thank you for sharing so much of your story.
And this has been awesome.
Thank you guys.
So much fun.
Appreciate you.
You're amazing.
I have so many takeaways from this conversation with Russell, but there are three that are really loud in my mind.
So I want to share them with you.
Number one, adversity is where growth happens.
Russell talked about a type of joy he has in adversity.
And if you really have a long-term mindset, if you're really focused on growth, then adversity is where you actually have the most opportunity.
And that's kind of exciting.
Two, watch yourself talk.
I love when he said, not around me.
Like we have to really watch the words we say, the words our kids say.
And sure we want to see where they're at, but we really have to pay attention to the track that plays over and over in our mind.
And three, look for the ability to be addicted to the process instead of the outcome.
And I think this is really true in our own lives.
We can get so caught up in the outcome and what something looks like to someone else and to a compliment someone gives us.
All that makes us feel good.
But what's so protective for our own self-esteem and confidence and grit and resilience is to gaze in.
What do I love doing?
What are my systems?
What are my habits?
Can I become kind of addicted to the way that lights me up or gives me purpose?
Because that will protect me from kind of my mood being at the whim of the latest outcome in my life.
This was an amazing conversation.
And I am so excited for the next one with another Nike athlete.
Let's end the way we always do.
Place your feet on the ground.
Place a hand on your heart.
And let's remind ourselves, even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside.
I'll see you soon.
