Historically, I have dressed pretty modestly.
And I think there are two reasons for that.
Number one, because up until recently, I was not mature enough or old enough to wear revealing clothing.
So naturally, I wasn't wearing it.
And then number two, once I got to the point where I was allowed to wear revealing clothing, I was an adult.
Every time I would experiment with it, it just didn't feel right.
And I'm not 100% sure why.
Many of you listening are probably speculating that it's the obvious reason that dressing and revealing clothing is taboo.
It's controversial, societally.
And that might be true. There might be bits and pieces of that in my subconscious that make me feel weird when I wear revealing clothing.
However, I feel like it might be more personal than that.
I also feel like it doesn't match my personality for some reason.
And I don't know, it's something I've yet to crack.
Like I've yet to fully understand about myself.
However, as I'm getting a bit older and I'm getting more into fashion and I'm experimenting more with fashion, I've been experimenting more with revealing clothing.
Approximately a month ago, I wore possibly my most revealing look publicly on a red carpet, which is not something that I've never done before because maybe a year and a half ago, I wore something somewhat revealing.
There was definitely some cleavage going on.
Actually, I've worn quite a few looks over the last year and a half that have included a bit of cleavage, if you will.
Kind of a bold amount of cleavage, actually.
Although I think my most revealing was a month ago, I wore this red skirt with this tiny little, little string of a tank top over my nipples, literally.
And it was definitely my most revealing look.
Like I've been building up to this for the last year and a half or so.
Maybe the last year, I don't, I'm bad at time.
But anyway, this was definitely my public peak when it comes to revealing clothing.
And it's interesting because it is something that I've always had a mixed opinion about, you know, not in terms of society, but in terms of myself.
And I want to make this clear now before we continue.
I don't care what other people do.
I don't care what other people wear.
It's none of my fucking business.
And I don't judge. Like when I talk about feeling uncomfortable wearing revealing clothing on a personal level, it has nothing to do with what I think revealing clothing means about a person.
Because that is not necessarily up to me to decide.
I want people to wear what makes them feel the most themselves and the most comfortable.
And if that means walking around with a tiny piece of tape over their genitals at tiny piece, I don't care.
It does not impact me. It's none of my business, right?
I'm on a personal journey when it comes to my boundaries with revealing clothing.
And that has nothing to do with anyone else.
What anyone else is wearing.
What anyone else even thinks about what I'm wearing.
It's a personal journey.
And I think it's challenging to make it a personal journey because there's so much noise about what people wear.
And it's always been that way.
Like growing up when celebrities would wear revealing clothing or would have a fashion mishap and would have like a nip slip or something, it was national news that everybody was fucking freaking out about what people were wearing or whether or not their bodies were exposed in a way.
Like it's always been this controversial taboo point of conversation.
And I'm fully aware that that must be impacting my psyche in some way.
However, I'm at a point now where I think I'm able to block that noise out as much as I possibly can, just given the place in my life that I'm in.
And I don't know, sort of not really caring as much about what people think of me and more concerned about what I think of me.
And so I think now more than ever, I'm on a personal journey to figure out what my boundaries are.
And this really came to my mind about a month ago when I wore my most revealing look yet in a very public setting on a red carpet.
And it's sort of like, I don't even want to say morally challenge me because I don't think that that's the right way to put it because I think people should wear what they want.
I think I should wear what I want.
And I don't think that there should be a moral right and wrong attached.
So again, I think that that's the wrong word.
However, I'm lacking, I don't know what word I'm looking for.
It tested my boundaries, let's say that.
It tested my boundaries with clothing and what I'm willing to show and what I'm not willing to show.
And I think I'm in a phase in general right now where I'm sort of questioning my boundaries with what I'm willing to show and what I'm not willing to show in general in life because I've experimented a lot and I'm trying to form more solid conclusions about what my boundaries are.
That's not to say that things can't evolve and change over time, but I am trying to find sort of an answer within myself.
And that's happening with clothing, revealing clothing, and what my boundaries are with that publicly, right?
But that's also bleeding into other areas of my life.
Like what hobbies and activities do I want to share with the world, whether that's with my friends and family or with the internet?
What parts of romantic relationships do I want to share with my friends and family and the public?
You know, what do I want to keep sacred to myself?
I think that this is a particularly pressing question for me because a lot of the things I do are sort of more public than normal.
But I think we all experience these sorts of dilemmas about what our boundaries are.
And as I'm on this journey, there will be more podcast episodes about various other areas of my life and trying to conclude what my boundaries are in those other areas, such as personal life and personal activities and romantic relationships.
All of those things are things that I'm considering right now, very heavily based on my experiences, sharing everything and then also sharing nothing and analyzing what feels like what.
Anywho, today we're talking about clothing.
So let's start out with the story of wearing this most recent revealing look on the red carpet.
My stylist, Jared and I saw this beautiful look on a red carpet.
We didn't see it at the show, we didn't attend the show, but we saw it online.
And as I described earlier, it was this beautiful red skirt, the skirt won up to sort of the rib cage.
And then it was paired with this beautiful, thin, sort of tank top, top that just covers the nipples pretty much.
And we saw this look and we're dumbfounded.
We were like, this is the most amazing look we've ever seen.
We were both obsessed with it and we both were talking about how we really want to wear it for an event.
And an event rolled around and Jared asked, if I could wear it, in the brand said yes.
And so we were beyond excited and we tried it on and it looked amazing.
However, closed fit different on everyone, right?
And when we saw the photo of the model walking down the runway in this look, it read a bit less revealing on the model because the model has a different body to me.
It fit the model differently than me.
It looked a bit less revealing on the model than it did on me.
I think because maybe my breast is a slight bit larger.
So it just is a bit more of an extreme sort of look, right?
Now Jared and I are obsessed with this look.
And so I very quickly came to the conclusion like, you know what, it does feel a bit more revealing on me than it did on the model.
However, I really appreciate the design of this look.
Like I just, I really love how this look was designed.
I appreciate the art of this look and I appreciate it and love it so much that I'm willing to sort of be a bit more revealed to be able to wear it and enjoy it.
And I also think part of me was a bit excited too because, you know, I became a public figure when I was like 16, right?
And I think a lot of people still think of me in some ways as a 16 year old.
And at times I even feel like I'm still a 16 year old.
And I think that that's very common in people who maybe become public figures at a younger age.
They can sometimes feel stunted in a way and they can feel permanently that age in a weird way.
And that's actually something people have talked about in this industry like being in the public eye at a young age, it can kind of stunt your growth.
And I have made really strong attempts to prevent that from happening to me because I do think it's possible to become a public figure and then stop growing for various reasons.
And so I've really tried not to do that to the best of my ability.
Wearing revealing clothing to prove that I'm an adult has nothing to do with that journey.
That's more about holding myself accountable.
And I don't know, that's a whole other battle.
But any who, I think it's still exciting to me in a way to dress maybe in a more mature way publicly because I'm like, hey, here I am as an adult now.
I'm not a kid anymore. And I'm excited to do that any opportunity I get because I think there's this part in me that is hungry to show people that I'm not the same kid I was when people first heard about me.
Any who. So it was a combination of things.
I think number one, I was excited about wearing it because it's a beautiful look and something that I've admired for months.
But then also because I think dressing more mature is intriguing to me and exciting for me because I can then show, hey, I'm not a little teenager anymore.
I'm actually an adult despite what we all believe, what we all think.
I'm a big girl now. And let me show you that with my boobs apparently.
So I think I'd sort of built up to this in a way because I'd done a few red carpets prior to this one where I had shown a bit more skin than I had historically.
So this wasn't like a huge jump.
However, I would say that this was the most comfortable I've been in revealing clothing.
I think because I, in a way, had practice.
I was shockingly unfazed by being this sort of out there with the look.
So there wasn't this sort of anxiety that I normally experience when I'm gonna show a bit more skin.
I was the most comfortable I've ever been.
But there was still a piece of me that was like, is this me?
Like, do I truly feel me in this look?
And I actually think that I did and I think that I do.
But that underlying hesitation and question is something that I don't wanna have anymore.
It's that sort of what I want to investigate today.
I wanna indulge in sort of figuring out where I stand for once and for all on showing my body in various ways so that I can sort of begin to form a set of rules for myself because I think it's helpful to have that.
It's helpful to investigate inside of oneself where you stand on something so that you have clear set ideas about how to proceed in your life.
And I'm so torn about this subject that I want to sort of investigate it in a way within myself.
And again, this has nothing to do with you or the rest of the world and what everyone else is wearing and doing.
This is about me. And I encourage all of you to go on your own journey about various things to find your own personal boundaries because it is only you who can determine them.
And with that being said, I'm going to debate myself.
I'm gonna debate myself in support of wearing revealing clothing and debate myself in support of leaving more to the imagination and maybe having a bit stricter boundaries with what of the body is shown to the world.
So let's start with the argument in support of Emma wearing revealing clothing.
To start, I believe in the philosophy that clothing is about expressing oneself in whatever way feels best at a given moment.
Clothing in fashion should be incredibly personal and in a lot of ways instinctual.
So whatever feels good on a given day is what should be worn.
Whatever feels exciting on a given day should be worn.
Whatever you want to get out of fashion on a given day should be nurtured, right?
So if on a certain day, you want to feel comfortable and you want to feel truly yourself, then you should dress in whatever way that means for you.
If on another day, you want to experiment, you want to take a risk a little bit, you want to play, okay, then that's what you should do on that given day.
And I think that that philosophy goes hand in hand with wearing revealing clothing because if that's what feels right at a given moment, then that's what should be done.
That's what should be worn.
If revealing clothing supports my need for self-expression or it supports my appreciation for clothing, the red dress being a great example of that, like I really appreciated that look so much.
And I wanted to wear it because I appreciated so much.
So wearing it was allowing me to appreciate the clothing in the way that I want to.
Why should I then have rules against enjoying said clothing?
Why should I have any hesitation inside at all if wearing something revealing feels right to me?
And so that's sort of the first argument in support of revealing clothing.
Like my whole fashion philosophy is if it feels right, then I should do it.
And then the other argument in support of revealing clothing is it's up to us how we want to play into revealing clothing.
We're in control of our intention.
For example, some of us simply want to enjoy design.
Again, the example of me wearing the red dress.
Like I really appreciated the design.
And that's probably 75% of the reason I wanted to wear that look.
Some of us want to show our maturity.
The other probably 25% of why wore that red look.
Some of us feel more physically comfortable in revealing clothing.
Some of us don't like to feel all claustrophobic and a really covered up sort of outfit.
Some of us don't feel comfortable in more modest clothing.
Like for some of us, it's like I like having skin, you know, touching the air.
It's comfortable for me.
Some of us want to feel like hot, you know, like wait, I want to feel hot tonight.
I mean, I think we've all had occasions where we've maybe dressed in more revealing clothing because we want to feel hot for ourselves, right?
Or maybe, I mean, it's definitely a controversial take because some people are like, we should never dress hot for other people.
You know, we should only ever dress hot for ourselves or dressing hot for other people is not a respectable thing to do.
You know, there's a lot of sort of opinions about whether or not it's morally right to dress with the intention of being hot or sexy or whatever.
I, that's not a debate. I don't want to get into the societal piece of this because I'm on my own journey, you know, like I don't need to go there.
I don't want to go there necessarily in this conversation.
I need to figure out where I stand first before we can introduce that variable and that's some complicated shit.
To be human is to sometimes be like, I want to dress hot tonight or like, yeah, like I'm just in the mood.
So there are many reasons why we might want to dress in a revealing way and there are various intentions, right?
And it's easy to forget that our intention is up to us.
The message that we want to send with our outfit is up to us because with every outfit, whether we realize it or not, we're sending some sort of message.
Whether you're wearing the most minimalist, utilitarian outfit or you're wearing the most trendy, fashionable outfit or you're wearing the most modest outfit or you're wearing the most revealing outfit, whatever we get dressed in the morning, I feel like there is some sort of message that we're sending, whether it's the message that we don't care about fashion or it's the message that we love art or we love music because we're wearing a band T or we love the 70s aesthetic because we're wearing a full, like, sort of 70s get up.
Like, do you get what I'm saying?
We're always saying something with our outfit and it's not up to us how our outfit is perceived.
However, it is up to us what we want it to say.
And that's all we can really control.
We can't control how it's perceived.
We can't control the message that is received by others, but we can control the message that we want to give.
And it's frustrating that, you know, that message is not always gonna cut through.
However, it is up to us what we want to say with it.
But I think because there's so much noise about what we wear, especially when it comes to revealing clothing, that at times we can forget that it is ultimately in our control what we want our message to be.
But I think it is in argument, in support of wearing revealing clothing, if that's something you want to do, that it's up to you what you want your message to be with that to the world.
But that sort of leads us to the argument for wearing maybe more modest clothing and making that a boundary for yourself.
Because it isn't up to you how your clothing is perceived.
And that's not fair, right?
Like that sucks. That's one of the unfair parts of life that we do stuff and it's perceived, however, it will be perceived and we cannot control that.
And I think societally, wearing revealing clothing tends to be negative.
And that's, again, not an argument that I, like that's not a battle I want to go down right now.
And I don't think I'm even educated enough to go down it, right?
There's just so much nuance to that dilemma and that debate.
But arguably that is a con of wearing revealing clothing is that it is not up to us how that's perceived.
And some people perceive that as not being respectable, some people think if you're showing your body, it's because you don't respect your body and to respect your bodies to hide it or to keep it more sacred.
Some people think, oh, if somebody's wearing revealing clothing, that's because they want to appeal to people sexually, which is not always the case.
Sometimes it is the case.
Like I have literally worn like a short skirt or something because I've been like, I want to look hot tonight.
So I've done that. Now that doesn't mean that like I want to be disrespected or anything, but I've had nights where I've been like, I'm going out and I want to feel hot.
Maybe I'm single. I want to dress a bit flirty because like, so you know what I'm saying?
And I also don't think there's anything wrong with that.
That's not an invitation to be disrespected by any means.
There's no there's no invitation ever to be disrespected ever in my opinion, right?
But with all of that being said, it can be really frustrating if you want to maybe dress in a more revealing outfit, not even because you want to feel hot, but because you're like, I really think that this is a beautiful outfit.
And I like the way that it fits and I think it looks great.
And I like, I just think it's a beautifully designed outfit, whatever.
That's why I want to wear it.
There's a risk of other people being like, well, oh God, like I guess this person wants to feel hot.
I guess Emma wants to feel hot tonight.
Like she's kind of, is she like desperate for attention from guys like whatever.
There's a risk of it being perceived that way.
Is it fair? No, but at the same time, we can't control what other people think.
And that's just sort of a harsh reality of the whole thing.
And that's kind of a question that I ask myself when I'm wearing revealing clothing.
Do I care what other people are going to think about it?
Because there are going to be some negative opinions inevitably about it.
So do I care about that? But then I also have to ask myself anytime I leave the house in general in any sort of interesting outfit, am I OK with being judged for this outfit?
Because even if it's not a revealing outfit, but it's maybe something that is a bit riskier, is that something I'm willing to be judged for?
Because there's a chance that I will be judged.
So what's the difference between revealing versus just experimental fashion?
Well, I guess the difference is that revealing tends to be scrutinized more harshly.
But how much worse really is it?
I don't know, it depends.
I also think that there is something to be said for physical comfort when it comes to revealing clothing.
I am physically less comfortable in revealing clothing.
And that's always a choice that I'm making when I'm wearing revealing clothing.
Why is it more physically uncomfortable?
Well, number one, because sometimes like showing skin is just uncomfortable.
Like I like to sometimes feel sort of wrapped up and covered up.
Like there's something comfortable and secure about that physically to me sometimes.
There's also no risk of a fashion mishap, like a nipple falling out or like a butchieke falling out or something when I'm wearing more modest clothing.
There's something physically comfortable about wearing more modest clothing.
And I will say that from experience, when I'm wearing more comfortable clothing, clothing that's more physically comfortable for me, when I'm not having to think about if my nipple is falling out or if my butt crack is falling out, I'm able to be social and experience whatever social event that I'm present at more presently, if you will, when I'm not concerned about having some sort of fashion mishap or I'm not concerned about what my boob looks like when I'm sitting in a certain way.
Like there's something, there's a relief that comes with wearing more modest clothing.
And I'm able to truly experience life more fully.
And I'm going to admit, when I wore the beautiful red look with my boobies out a little bit, was I distracted the whole entire night checking to make sure my nipple didn't fall out?
Yes. Did that maybe make my experience a bit less enjoyable?
Honestly, yes. And so, you know, like I can't ignore that fact, but I was willing to suffer through it because I was so excited to wear this look that I appreciate so much from a fashion perspective, right?
So, you know, it's weighing the pros and cons in that way.
I also think too, something that I've noticed from wearing more revealing outfits at times on a public scale, like on a red carpet or something, is that it is undeniable that for better or for worse, revealing clothing is a one-way ticket to attention, whether it should be or not, okay?
Whether that is, you know, a negative part of society or not, it is just simply true.
When I wear a more revealing outfit, I can guarantee more people will be talking about that outfit.
It will inevitably get more attention.
And that can be sort of exciting in a way, like, oh, you know, people are interested in my outfit, they're intrigued by my outfit, you know?
That's cool, that's exciting.
But I am also up for the challenge of putting together an outfit that is not revealing, that can get the same amount of attention in its undeniably more challenging to get attention wearing a modest outfit than it is to get attention wearing a revealing outfit.
And I think it makes sense, it's because when you're wearing a revealing outfit, you're naturally, it's a taboo.
And taboos are always, you know, it's naughty, it's fun to discuss, ooh, her boob is out, ooh, it's exciting.
It's so much harder to get attention wearing an outfit where you're relying on the outfit itself.
It's just harder, but I like that challenge.
I'm fascinated by the challenge, like, how can you receive the same amount of attention wearing something modest?
You see what I'm saying?
Can you get creative enough?
Yes, you can, but it's far more challenging.
And in some ways, wearing revealing clothing is sort of the cheat code to getting attention for your outfit.
Again, I'm not saying that that's right, I'm not saying it should be that way, but it is.
And so it's like, okay, well, if I make it sort of a rule in life to accept the challenge of, you know, wearing an outfit worth talking about that doesn't sort of use the revealing clothing cheat code, you know, is it possible?
I don't know, I actually don't even know.
I don't even know because I'm somebody who loves looking at what people wear on red carpets and I love, and I also love seeing what people wear even to parties or to nightclubs or to whatever.
I don't really go to nightclubs very often, but I guess like bars.
Like I like seeing what people wear out, whether it's on a hyper public scale, like a red carpet or it's out to dinner or out to a bar with friends on a Friday night.
I love fashion to the point that I love looking at what everybody's wearing at all times.
And I've just noticed that the most intriguing outfits to other people are the most revealing ones, right?
In almost any setting, and it's very challenging to have that intrigue without it.
But I think that that challenge is exciting to me.
It's a creative challenge.
I also think another argument for modest clothing is thinking about my family seeing it.
Like sometimes I wear certain things and I'm like, oh my god, I'm kind of mortified thinking about my grandparents looking at me wearing this or I'm mortified thinking about my parents seeing me wear this.
I'm mortified thinking about my future children possibly Googling me and seeing an image of like my boobs out.
Like, and maybe that's a societal thing and maybe that's a limiting belief that I have.
Like, it's just a body, right?
However, there is something inside me that's uncomfortable by that at times.
And so that's also something that can deter me from wanting to be revealing or whatever.
And last but not least, I do think that there's something interesting.
And don't call me like, I don't know, old fashion or whatever, because I don't, I'm really not approaching this from any sort of, I don't know, prior societal narrative.
Okay, this is just something that I find interesting.
There is something interesting about the idea of keeping certain parts of the body sacred between me and whoever I'm dating.
Like, there's something interesting to me about it being like, well, no one really knows about my boobs, but you.
And that's kind of cool, you know?
Like no one, like you get to see my boobs.
You get to see my butt whole.
And no one else does. And that's kind of beautiful.
Like I do think that there's something sort of special about that.
And again, I think that it depends on who you are and how you sort of view your body with, because like some people are like, well, sex itself is what sacred.
The body is maybe something that you're more comfortable with sharing with the world, but obviously like sex is maybe not something that you're comfortable with sharing with the world.
So it's like, I don't mind showing my body because sex is still something that remains sacred between me and my partner.
Some people are like, none of it needs to be sacred between me and my partner.
It depends on you. But when I look inward at myself, I am sort of intrigued by the idea of like, the only people that get to see my boobs, for example, are the people I'm dating.
And again, some of you might think that sort of old fashion and I get that.
But again, I'm not looking at it from an old fashion perspective.
I just think that there's something kind of like hot about like kind of the mystery.
Like there's something to be uncovered, you know?
Like there's something to, that's sort of exciting.
And I don't know, that's definitely not for everybody.
And I don't even know if that's for me, by the way.
And it's clearly not right now because like my boobs are out sometimes, especially on the red carpet apparently.
Like the last few red carpets I've done have really had some boobies out.
But yeah, it's just like an interesting thing to noodle on in the brain.
And so I don't know, I mean, listen, that's all the bullet points I wrote down.
I don't have anything else.
And I really still don't know where I stand on it.
So this was not necessarily the most helpful thing I've ever done.
But I think what's interesting is that right now I'm sort of split 50-50, right?
In my personal life, I dress very modestly, I would say.
You know, even going to the beach or going to run errands, like my personal taste tends to be a bit more modest, a bit more covered.
Like even when I go to the beach, I don't love like a super thong bikini.
Like I just, I don't feel comfortable having my full ass out.
Like I always feel kind of, I don't know, I like the feeling of like my ass being secured into like a bit more coverage in a bikini bottom.
Now again, that has nothing to do.
I don't care. Like I'd be naked at the beach if I had to or something like it's fine.
But there's something that I feel like is just more physically comfortable about feeling like, okay, my butt is like fully snug in my bathing suit bottoms.
And I also like bathing suit bottoms that like come up a bit higher on the waist too.
Like I don't like, I feel uncomfortable when with anything low-wasted, I like higher-wasted stuff.
So my bathing suits tend to be more modest, maybe than what's popular.
I don't know, like I don't wear a lot of tops.
Like when I go out or something, yeah, I don't really, I rarely, rarely wear anything revealing just because I'm more drawn to less revealing clothes and I'm more comfortable in mentally and physically in more modest clothes.
So I just tend to wear that sort of style and vibe.
Like honestly, probably 90% of the time anyway, right?
So it's sort of this other 10% of experimental area where I'm like, is this me?
Does this feel right, you know?
And again, I still don't really know.
And maybe I need to experiment a bit more to even come to my conclusion.
So if you see, I don't know if my next red carpet look is even more revealing than the last, let's just say I'm on my self-discovery journey.
I don't know, I don't know where I stand on it.
And maybe my current sort of, maybe I'm questioning something that is not even broken, right?
My particular sort of arrangement as of now is that on a day-to-day basis, I tend to dress more modestly, but then every once in a while at a fashion event or on a red carpet, I like to experiment more with my fashion and sometimes that means experimenting with more revealing clothing.
And that's a fun thing to dabble in every once in a while.
Maybe that's exactly what works for me.
Maybe I'm already doing it.
Maybe I don't even need to question it at all.
And that might also be true.
But I feel like because I always have this little inkling of like, what am I, should I, is this me every time I'm experimenting in such a way?
It's led me to this conversation today.
I have discovered nothing today, but I had a good time talking.
So that's all that matters.
Let me know what you think.
You can shoot me a DM at anything goes on Instagram and let me know what you think.
I'm very curious about where you stand and what's comfortable for you and what conclusions you've come to and maybe that can help me come to some conclusions.
But anyway, you're on your own journey with this particular topic and I really recommend that you try your best to block out all the noise and come to your own conclusion about your own boundaries.
And maybe the answer is clear to you and maybe the answer is not more like me.
I don't know, but I think it's always helpful to really critically think about these things because we want to be living in our most authentic identity in a way, right?
And do things that make us feel good and make us feel like us, right?
And sometimes we have to think a little bit deeper.
Sometimes the answers aren't obvious.
And it's good to check in with one's self.
Anyway, with all that being said, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can stream anywhere you get podcasts although video episodes are exclusively unspodify.
You can follow anything goes on social media, at Emma Chamberlain, and you can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee, you can order online at ChamberlainCoffee.com or see if we're in a store near you.
And that's all I have. That's all I have for today.
I have really bad allergies and I have been holding in a sneeze this entire episode.
So I'm gonna go sneeze and I'll talk to you soon and I love you all and appreciate you all for hanging out.
As always, it's always such a pleasure and I will talk to you in a few days.
Okay, love you. Love you and love you.
Bye.
