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Hello, dear friends.
It's Eve back here with you.
I can't actually believe it's been a whole year since I hosted the show.
I've really missed it and I also want to welcome any new listeners to the show.
Let me introduce myself.
I'm Eve. I live in L .A.
but I'm from the UK originally and I've been with Headspace since the beginning and I'm one of our meditation and mindfulness teachers.
So, if you've used the app before and you're thinking, wait, I recognize that voice, yep, that's me.
Even though I've hosted the show hundreds of times at this point, I still get a little nervous, especially seeing as it's been a while.
So, let's take a moment to briefly ground ourselves.
It's also Monday so a wee reset is never a bad thing.
So, getting comfortable wherever you are, softening the jaw, relaxing the shoulders, connecting into your body, perhaps feeling the sensation of your feet on the floor, your body being supported and right now focusing on this moment, stopping any multitasking and taking a couple of slower, deeper breaths.
Acknowledge how you feel in this moment, focusing on your breath, easing the mind.
Thank you for that.
I certainly needed it.
So, when I last hosted the show, I'd recently lost my mum and I spent a few episodes talking about grief and loss.
My world has been dominated by loss over the past few years as my dad died very suddenly in 2018.
So, sadly, this wasn't a new world for me to inhabit.
But a year on from losing dad, I want to take a moment today to acknowledge the journey of grief.
I want to make some space and acknowledge that the grieving process will look differently for all of us.
And if you are grieving a loss, my heart is with you.
Be so gentle with yourself.
Your reality has changed forever and it takes time to inhabit your new world without them.
I came across this quote the other day by the author Claire McIntosh and it says, I promise it won't always hurt like this.
It's actually also the title of her latest book on grief, which I think I'm going to get.
Grief is often talked about in waves, this notion that you get hit by a wave of grief.
It can feel so strong, powerful, and all -consuming.
In the early days of losing my parents, if someone had said to me, I promise it won't always hurt like this, I wouldn't have believed them.
It was an all -consuming and powerful grip of sadness and heartbreak.
Like a wave that comes crashing down you and then tumbles you around.
It's also not uncommon when we lose someone to feel guilt.
Did I do enough? What if I'd said this or done that?
I know that's something I've struggled with immensely.
But reading that quote the other day, I have to say she's right.
The intensity of the pain has softened somewhat.
My capacity to live in this world without them has slowly expanded.
In the early days, weeks, and months, it was hard to remember the happy times.
All I could see and feel was the loss, their absence.
Slowly but surely I find myself smiling or laughing about a memory or when I see a photo, I can cherish that love.
Some days though, the waves still come crashing down.
I may have had a dream or it's an anniversary or I just simply can't call them to share some news with them.
A couple of months ago, I desperately wanted to hear my mum's voice.
So much has been happening in my life that I wanted to talk to her about.
I'd saved several of her voicemails and I lay down outside looking at the stars and I played them.
A year ago, I would never have been able to do that.
I lay there with tears streaming down my face but also so much gratitude and love for everything she did for me and the value she taught me.
But alas, loss is a part of life and we will all join that club at some point in our lives.
That is the one guarantee.
So to bring this episode to a close, I wanted to share some of my biggest lessons on life, loss, and healing.
So number one, things can change in an instant.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
It's so easy to say, much harder in practice, but we truly never know what's around the corner.
Number two, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
And despite the common belief that you cycle through five stages of grief, it's not linear and in my experience, there are not just five stages.
So don't think you're doing anything wrong if the way you're experiencing a loss looks different to someone else.
Number three, it's okay to get additional help from either a grief counselor, therapist, or support group.
I've needed it. I really struggled with the loss of my mum and coming to terms with having no parents anymore.
And a year on, I still need that extra support and that's okay.
Number four, saying nothing is often way worse.
If you don't know what to say to someone who is grieving, say just that.
I don't know what to say, but I'm so sorry for your loss.
And I want you to know I'm thinking of you and your family.
Saying nothing only alienates the person who's grieving and it doesn't acknowledge the elephant in the room.
And number five, no, it didn't happen for a reason.
It would be much better if they were still here.
Sometimes in life, really, really shitty and painful things happen.
It's not fair and it sucks.
So dear friends, thank you for listening and allowing me to share some of my story.
I don't think you're ever done grieving someone.
It's part of my daily life.
But the one thing that does bring me some comfort is that it won't always feel so painful.
And whilst they're not here in person, they're always with me.
I truly do believe that.
I'll see you back here tomorrow.
How do you feel when you switch to Geico and save on your car insurance?
It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday.
But then somebody in the elevator says, Happy Friday.
Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday.
So yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator.
Happy Friday indeed.
Yep. Switching and saving with Geico feels just like that.
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