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Hey friends, it's Rosie here.
Welcome to Radiohead Space and to Wednesday.
I was at the grocery store a few days ago, just trying to get in and out quickly when someone out of nowhere just cut right in front of me.
I was perusing the magazines and this person, no eye contact, no excuse me, just straight up cut in front, while I was standing there, clearly in line.
I stood there in shock as the grocery clerk and I exchanged an equally surprised look.
I could feel the rage bubbling up as I gripped my non -ripe avocados and thought, Oh, we're really doing this today.
But, instead of reacting, I paused.
I took a breath. And you won't believe what happened next.
So far this week, we've been talking about how anger is energy, and how holding onto resentment only burns us in the end.
But as we will see this week, even that isn't enough to stop us from reacting.
Today, I want to talk about something just as important.
That little moment, that suspended, brief blip, the power of pausing.
In psychology, this is called cognitive reappraisal, a key tool in cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT.
Research shows that when we pause and reframe a situation before reacting, it actually changes how our brain processes the experience.
A 2018 study from Columbia University found that people who practice pausing and reframing their emotional reactions had lower stress levels and made more thoughtful decisions compared to those who reacted immediately.
That pause between what happens to us and how we respond, that's where our power is.
We don't always have control over what happens, but we do have control over how we react.
And the more we practice creating space between our emotions and our actions, the more we can step into our own freedom.
So going back to the grocery store, at that moment, I had a choice.
I could let my anger take over and let it ruin my afternoon.
Maybe even say something snarky.
Or I could pause. peace.
Instead of assuming the worst, I asked myself, what if they weren't paying attention?
What if they're stressed, distracted, dealing with something heavy?
And in that moment, the person turned to me and said, I am so sorry.
I didn't even see you standing there.
I'm spaced out. The moment as quickly as it erupted, was quickly diffused.
I felt my frustration soften, and I held my little avocados with less frustration.
I just smiled and said, no worries.
That moment of pause changed everything.
Because here's the truth, our minds love to jump to conclusions.
And look, there have been scenarios where that wasn't the case, and the person, well, was just straight up rude.
My point is, we often assume the worst about people's intentions, but pausing—it gives us a chance to rewrite the story before we react.
So here's something to try.
The next time you feel anger rising, silently say to yourself, Pause.
Take one deep breath in, and one exhale out.
And then ask yourself, What's the most skillful response here?
Sometimes you'll decide to speak up or set a boundary, but you'll do it from a place of clarity, not from raw reaction.
And other times you'll realize the situation wasn't worth your energy at all.
Anger wants urgency.
It wants reaction. But we don't have to give it that.
By practicing the pause, we give ourselves the chance to respond with intention, instead of impulse.
And hopefully over time, that one -second pause can change the way we move through the world.
If you're looking for some extra guidance, check out the Processing Anger Meditation in the app.
Thanks for listening today.
If you want to share your thoughts with me, find me on Instagram at Rosie Acosta.
