Hello? Oh my God, I'm hungover. I'm hungover today, okay?
I'm going to be honest. I am hungover. I went to an event last night.
I'm feeling it today. I'm feeling it the funny thing is I went to bed at 1145.
Like that's not even that late. But I am in pain now.
Today I am in pain. But the weird thing is when I'm hungover and in pain from a night out, The only thing I wanna do is record a podcast.
It's so weird. I don't wanna do anything else.
Nothing else sounds appealing to me. I don't want to go to the grocery store.
I don't want to take a shower. I don't want to brush my teeth.
I don't want to move more than two inches.
Nothing sounds appealing to me except for recording a podcast.
So this all worked out today. I'm really happy we could get together and do this today and just talk and just hang out.
I'm. Just thrilled. I'm thrilled. This is exactly what I wanna be doing today.
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So let me tell you a story recently. about two weeks ago, I went to the Harry Styles concert in Los Angeles.
It was amazing. Harry Styles is a force of nature.
Harry Styles is... A magician. He's incredible.
The concert was. incredible I sang my heart out it was great I mean it was great but something did happen at this concert That was interesting.
I was sitting kind of far up so I could see. the whole arena, the whole concert venue.
I could see all of the other concert goers.
I was kind of able to see everything. Right, and when Harry first came on, everybody took their phone out, which is like normal, right?
Everybody took their phone out and filmed him come out and, you know, filmed him starting the show.
And I didn't really think anything of it because I was like, okay, like whatever.
Everybody's going to post Harry. coming out on stage on their IG story.
Like I get it. I didn't think twice about it.
But then. 15 minutes go by and I still just see this wave of phones up in the air.
And I'm like, geez, people still have their phone out.
Like it's been like 15 minutes. Like it's still happening.
And then like another 15 minutes go by and I'm like, geez, this wave of phones just up in the air. has not stopped.
And I started to get a weird feeling in my tummy where I was like, wait, Maybe this is weird.
Wait. Maybe this is... kind of a bad sign.
And at the time I was like, I'm not going to think about this now.
Like, I'm not going to analyze this now because I'm enjoying Harry Styles. singing my favorite song satellite.
I don't want to think about, you know, whether or not everybody filming everything all the time is the sign of the downfall of our society.
Like, I don't wanna think about that right now.
I'm singing Satellite by Harry Styles. I don't wanna think about this. don't really think about this again.
And then a few weeks go by and yesterday or no, two days ago, I go to an event.
Not the event that I'm hung over from right now, but a different event.
I go to this event. And everyone is taking photos and videos. of everything.
Like for example, it was someone's birthday.
And everybody was singing happy birthday to this person.
Instead of everyone just singing happy birthday to this person and enjoying this moment of appreciation for this person.
Everyone's phone was out. filming the person whose birthday it was while they're singing happy birthday.
And they're not even really... looking at the person whose birthday it is, they're just looking at their phone filming the person and I was like, this is actually weird.
And you know, we've normalized it. I think it's become so routine and so normal to see everyone filmed. these big moments, concerts, birthdays, everyday life, like it's become normal to capture every moment.
It's become so normal that it didn't dawn on me how bizarre it was until recently.
Like, it's always been kind of bizarre to me.
I was like, oh, this is weird. but I didn't really think twice about it.
It was like, yeah, this is weird. It's probably not good, but also like.
I don't really care. But for whatever reason recently, it's actually started to bother me.
And I think the reason why it started to bother me is because I'm no longer really participating in it.
I used to be someone who was the same way as everyone else. would take photos of everything would take videos of everything and i was a part of that pack So although I thought it was kind of bizarre that we were all doing it and something about it maybe felt a little bit weird,
I didn't really care and I was also participating.
So it just didn't hit me. But now that I don't have this desire to capture every single moment anymore, which we'll talk about. later, I'm really aware of how weird this is.
And so today I wanted to talk about why we are so obsessed with taking photos of Because it is a fascinating phenomenon.
Like if you really think about it, if you just look at the concept of people taking photos and videos of everything. objectively or subjectively.
I still don't know the difference between those two words. somebody please tweet me and let me know.
You'll realize that it is bizarre. Anyway.
Why do we feel the need to take photos and videos of everything?
Here's what I think. I think part of it has something to do with this fear of losing a memory, you know? we're afraid of a magical moment in our lives happening and us not having that a permanent version of it in the form of a photo.
I think that is part of it. this sort of compulsion to capture all meaningful moments and out of this sort of uncomfortable fear that if we don't get it in photo version, video version, That it'll be gone forever.
That our own memory in our head is not enough. the fear that our memory in our head is not enough and that we need this photo.
We need this video. We need this to be. permanently frozen in time in our phones. in photo video version or else it's gone forever.
I feel like we've sort of been programmed weirdly in a way. to think about memories in that way nowadays.
I know personally I've felt pressure to capture important moments in my life on photo or on video because I was like, I need to remember this forever and I need the photo to help me do that.
I need the video to help me do that I think that's part of it.
But I think that it's more than that now.
I don't think that that's the core reason why.
People are snapping photos of every moment and taking videos of every moment.
I don't think that that's the main reason.
I think the real cause of this weird behavior that we're all participating in is it's social media.
Woo woo, there it is, woomp, there it is. it's social media of course it is because i love talking about social media i don't know why but I do.
If you really think about it, we're kind of building a second version of ourselves online. almost like an avatar. a digital version of ourselves.
We all joke about the metaverse and how it seems dumb.
You know, if you don't know what the metaverse is, it's like, This concept of like, I don't know, another world that only exists digitally that you can enter into and you have another life in there.
Maybe by putting on a headset or something and being fully immersed in another reality that's digital.
We joke about that being like crazy and not ever going to happen or whatever. we're kind of already doing it by creating this specific version of ourselves online through what we post and how we edit those posts and, and, what we're wearing or doing in those posts, we're creating this sort of ideal version of ourselves that lives on the internet permanently, you know?
I mean, you can delete your account and then it's over, but unless you delete it, it's permanently there.
You know what I mean? And people can scroll back and look at who you were two years ago, what you were doing back then.
They can look at you. Now, what are you doing now?
But it's all hand curated by you. So you're kind of creating this person. that is a combination of you and who you really are and what you want people to think you are.
Now I know this is old news, we know this.
But I think the reason why we're so obsessed with taking photos of videos of everything. and posting those things on social media is because I think that subconsciously we all know that Our identity online is not inconsequential.
It's not like something... It doesn't... it's not like it doesn't matter and it's not like, nobody is judging us based on it.
The truth is, is that the online version of ourselves are perceived the same amount, if not even more than our physical being.
And this begs the question, what is more real to other people? the online versions of ourselves or the real version of ourselves.
Like when people think of us, Do they think of the us that... they know in person or the us that they see online or, uh, Is it a combination of both?
I would say it's a combination of both. But depending on how much you see each other, it might be more the online version of you.
Like you might be known for the online version of yourself, more than the physical version of yourself.
So when someone thinks of you, they think of...
What you're doing on Instagram, they're thinking of the version of you that's on Instagram and on TikTok and on blah, blah, blah, blah, YouTube, wherever.
That's the version of you that they have in their mind. combined with the version of you that they know in person, but there aren't many people that you see every day.
There aren't many people that you talk to every day, but there are a lot of people that see you on social media. every day if you're posting on a frequent basis and so My point of this is whether we know it or not, whether we're conscious of it or not.
We all know in some way how powerful our online identity is and how it's not just like a fun little hobby.
To post on social media. No. This... affects the way that we're perceived by others.
This is not inconsequential. And so we need to curate this image of, to the best of our ability for our own personal gain.
Like we all know that this has become something very powerful.
And I think that that's why we feel so much pressure to capture everything is because we want everyone to know online that, We're doing shit.
We're at the Harry Styles concert. We're at lunch at a park in New York City.
We're at a cute cafe in Los Angeles. We're wearing a cute outfit in Paris. we're eating a croissant in a cafe in Paris.
We want people to know when we do these things. that are exciting and fun and beautiful and ideal because they build our online identity and make us look interesting and busy and successful and productive.
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Mentos gum, yes to fresh. There's two things going on.
Number one, there's people taking photos and videos of everything so that they have as much content as they can to portray themselves a certain way on social media.
And then there's also this pressure to capture every single moment. out of fear that if we don't capture it, we'll lose it.
This is what's happening. These are the two Reasons I think for this behavior now the next question is I'm asking myself, is this even a problem?
Like is this hurting anyone? Because if it's not, then it's not a problem.
Well, I think it can be a problem. can be a problem.
I don't think it has to be, but I think it can be.
And I think it's hard to find balance enough for it not to be a problem.
The obsession with getting photos and videos of everything really doesn't allow you to just enjoy a moment.
And I know that that's a cliche and that's something that everybody says, but it's. very true.
And I know that because I've compared moments in my life when I've just kept my phone down and just taken the pressure off myself and said, you know what?
This is a memory I'm just gonna keep for myself.
I'm not gonna post about it. I'm not even gonna take a photo of it For my own memory, I'm just going to live in the moment and take the pressure off. and not stress out about whether or not I'm going to remember this moment perfectly or if people are going to know about it.
I'm just going to sit here phone in my bag and just exist.
I've done that. numerous times in my life, but I've also been concerned with capturing the moment. hundreds and hundreds of times.
And what I've noticed is, is that there is a big difference The truth is when you're concerned about getting a photo of something or a video of something, You're focusing on getting the photo or video right too much to a point where you're not even thinking about where you are anymore.
For example, when I'm at a concert and I take my phone out and start filming, I'm not even thinking about the music anymore.
I'm like, wait, are they in frame? Wait, is my phone still recording?
Wait, you know what I mean? Or if it's someone's birthday and I'm trying to get the perfect video of them blowing out their candles.
I'm not even thinking about them blowing out their fucking candles or even the fact that it's their birthday.
I'm thinking about how the video looks on my phone. lighting okay should i like tap the exposure over here because it's like kind of bright or like whatever.
And I'm thinking about that. I'm not thinking about the moment at hand.
And so yeah, I think taking photos and videos of everything can really ruin a moment.
And that's not necessarily a good thing, but also there are many moments that I've captured on my phone. that I've been so happy to be able to look back at.
And that's why this topic is so confusing to me.
Because I enjoy going back in my camera roll and looking at years and years of memories of And part of me is happy that I've done that.
So I am conflicted. I would say another problem that comes with this whole situation is that what happens when You don't have anything to take a photo of.
You don't have anything to take a video of.
Nothing's happening. What happens when there's nothing to capture?
People can freak out about this. I freaked out about this.
Some of us feel like our lives are boring if we have nothing to post. it's like our obsession with wanting to record and take photos of everything has not only made us obsessed with that, But it's also made us obsessed with always having sex. that, like always having something to take photos of and record and post about or whatever.
I remember when I was younger, I don't really feel like this as much anymore, but when I was younger, if like a week would go by and I didn't do anything memorable necessarily.
I didn't do any anything cool or interesting.
I didn't wear any cool outfits. I didn't go do any cute things with my friends.
I didn't go to a concert or an event or any whatever.
I would feel like my life was boring and I'd feel genuinely sad.
I'd be like, oh my God, what's going on?
Nothing's going on. I would feel this pressure. to make it seem like I'm doing things on social media when in reality I wasn't.
I can't even tell you how many times my friends and I have gotten dressed up just to like go take pictures of us to make it look like we're out and about doing shit when in reality we literally got dressed up to go take photos in an outfit that we're only wearing for the photo that will be taken off five minutes later just so that we could have like a cool Instagram photo to post.
Now listen. Do I think that that's fun?
Actually, yes. I've had fun doing that before. shitting on that activity completely.
It is kind of ridiculous when you think about it, but At the same time, it also is a sort of art form in a way, like putting on a cool outfit taking cool photos with your friends.
Like it's not all bad. but also what was it rooted in?
When I really think deeply about it and I really look back, It was rooted in this pressure. to look like I'm doing shit on social media.
It was like, I was, something photo worthy because I didn't have anything in my life. organically that was photo worthy and that's just interesting again i don't know if it's bad But it is a little weird that I would put on an outfit just to go take a photo.
And I'll still do it sometimes. Like if I have a cool outfit that I'm really into, I'll be like, Hey, I'm going to wear this today so I can take a pic in it.
You know what I mean? Whatever. I guess when I look back in the moment when I was like putting on cute outfits and stuff to go take Instagram photos with my friends.
I didn't really think I was participating in this sort of, pressure and obsession to like make sure it seems like I'm doing shit.
I think in my head, I was like, No, this is just like me having fun, putting on an outfit.
Like this is not... because we feel the pressure. to constantly look like we're doing something on social media?
Like no, I think I was kind of in denial.
A little bit because... Now that I don't really do that anymore, I realize that... there was this insecurity looming in the back of my mind. at all times feeling like if I'm not constantly posting myself on social media doing things, then people will think I'm not doing shit.
And that's kind of embarrassing, whatever, whatever.
So although I used to enjoy getting dressed up and taking photos with my friends, it still was kind of rooted in insecurity and fear at the same time.
So that's an interesting problem, you know, this sort of pressure to have things to take photos and videos of all the time or else you feel like boring in the eyes of social media.
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The unfortunate part about that is that being boring if you will. not doing crazy stuff, not getting into your coolest outfit every day for the whole week. you know, not leaving your house very much.
All of that is normal and honestly incredible.
Sometimes that's what you want. You just want to hibernate and live a simple life.
Sometimes we just crave that. I think that this pressure that we feel to constantly be posting ourselves doing fun shit. cool shit doesn't allow us to enjoy those moments of relaxation and solitude and quiet.
It makes us feel like those moments are almost embarrassing. in a weird way.
I also think that a lot of people without even realizing it make decisions and do things for the sake of posting it on social media. they're not doing it for themselves or because they really want to necessarily even. but they're doing it for the photo.
So for example, I've gone to events before, like events. where I didn't even really want to go to the event.
Like I wasn't really that excited about the event itself.
But I was excited about the photo. Because I was like, I'm all dolled up.
I'm in a cool outfit. I'm in a cool setting.
I'm going to get a cool photo while I'm here and that's the value. in this event for me.
I might meet a few cool people, maybe. But really why I'm going is because I'm going to get a cool pic.
Like I've fully felt that before. But a more sinister example would be someone doing charity work. so that they can take a photo of themselves doing it. so that they can post it on social media and look like a very charitable person.
But the truth is, couldn't post it on social media, they wouldn't do it.
That's not a good sign. If you're doing things. and taking photos of you doing these things and you're posting it on social media and you wouldn't do the thing unless You could post about it on social media.
You're doing it for the wrong reasons. Whether it's something small, like going to have a picnic in the park with your friends that's aesthetically pleasing and stuff. when deep down you just want to postmate with your friends in your living room. in a very non-Instagrammable way.
That's really what you deep down wanted to do. you plan this whole picnic in the park because it's an Instagram sort of thing.
And it'll look pretty on the internet and it'll be like aesthetically pleasing and whatever, even though.
Maybe you're allergic to grass and you don't even really want to do it, but you're like, oh, but it'll be...
Good for Instagram, whatever. Whether it's something like that or it's something much more extreme like doing charity work. only so that you can take a photo or video of you doing it for social media.
I don't think it's a good thing to do things for others.
Just the sake of your online. identity.
Like I don't think that's a good thing. Here's the issue I have with all of this.
Here's the confusing part of all of this for me.
Sometimes this pressure we feel to post everything photos of everything can be a harmless thing you know for example sometimes a moment on photo or video can give you a photo or video to look back on for the rest of your life.
That's a beautiful memory. And you have this snapshot of that moment that will last forever. that you can look back on forever that will bring you so many laughs and smiles.
Sometimes the pressure to make your life look interesting on Instagram can actually bring you to some amazing places. give you an activity to do with your friends.
It might force you. to do things that you wouldn't normally have the motivation to do that are good and because you want something to post about on Instagram.
Sometimes it can be neutral. It can be fine.
It can be harmless. but sometimes it can be really bad and even kind of sinister and, You know, it's bad when you can't enjoy your downtime because you feel guilt about not having anything to post about.
It can be bad when you Don't get to live in the moment at all because you're so focused on capturing every moment.
It can be bad. when you start to become too obsessed with the online version of yourself. and you become too obsessed with curating that perfectly to a point that becomes maybe obsessive you stress and anxiety and insecurity in some ways.
It can be even sinister. If you're only doing things that are charitable or nice for others, because you want to just post about it on Instagram. of your own heart like that's not good I mean I guess doing positive things for the community is good no matter what your intent is and why you did it. it's still helpful, it's not any less helpful But it's just not morally good.
It's not morally good to do things out of a selfish intent, especially when it's something like charity.
That just is icky. It's icky. Is it still helping people?
Sure. But it's still fucking icky. You know, that's something that needs to be looked at. if that's why you're doing charitable things.
I don't know. I don't know if there is an answer to the question. is our obsession with capturing every moment and feeling the pressure to post every moment or every good moment, should I say.
Is that good or bad? I don't know if there's an answer to that question.
I don't know if all of this is good or bad.
I don't know if it's that simple. It's interesting because My own experience has been personally, I don't. feel a pressure anymore to take photos. of everything or videos of everything.
And I don't feel bad. If I don't have anything cool to post all the time on my Instagram, I don't feel bad if.
I'm not doing anything interesting and I'm just in my fucking sweatshirt for seven days. straight and my hair is dirty and I'm breaking out and I'm in my house and I'm doing chores and I'm just doing boring shit and like I
I don't feel bad about that anymore. I'm over it.
I didn't get to that place overnight and to be honest, I didn't even mean to get to that place.
It happened on its own. It happened because I felt fatigued. by this pressure to take photos and videos of everything all the time and planning interesting things to do on my days off. to make sure my social media remained interesting.
I was tired of pushing myself to put on a cool outfit and go do something cool with my friends.
Just because I wanted to take an Instagram photo when what I really wanted to do was just relax that day.
I used to kind of push myself to make myself interesting on social media.
When now I'm like, no, like, I'm interesting sometimes, naturally.
Sometimes there are weeks when I get all dolled up and dressed up. in a cool outfit every day and I'm doing cool stuff and I'm going to concerts and I'm going to, you know, this and I'm going to that and it's just like, and it happens naturally and I don't even need to like,
Force it and other times I just don't do anything and there's nothing to take a photo or video of you know, it just depends
But I've actually even taken it a step further.
And now, even when I do interesting stuff, sometimes I don't film it or take a photo of it at all because I'm like, eh, I don't really need to share this.
For example, when I went to the Harry Styles concert, I didn't take a video of it or a photo of it.
And I didn't post about it because I was like, well, there's a lot of content, you know? out there on the internet of Harry Styles singing in concert.
So, No one really needs to see my version of that.
And nobody really cares that I'm here either.
I don't think anyone cares that I'm here.
So I'm just going to enjoy it, you know?
And I didn't take any photos or videos. I don't know.
I just didn't feel like it. So I did. I challenge some of you to Put your phone in your bag during a moment when you would normally take a photo. or video, maybe you're at a concert, Maybe you're having an aesthetically pleasing picnic in the park.
See how it feels to just put your phone away for the whole day. experience and do this as an experiment to see.
If it's more enjoyable for you, if it's the same level, of enjoyable for you or if you're stressed out and upset that you didn't get to capture the moment.
Test this in your life. How does this make you feel if you feel happier? not capturing the moment, then there's a good chance that you've been taking your phone out and capturing these moments because you felt pressured to by some sort of force, whether that's this pressure to capture every moment so you never forget it or it's this pressure to capture every moment so that You can post it on social media to curate your own digital identity and by not taking a photo of it, you've set yourself sort of free from that pressure.
You've eliminated it. You didn't succumb to that pressure.
And that's a good feeling. So if you're feeling good when you do this experiment, then that's probably what that means.
If you feel neutral, and you're like, well, nothing really changed, then that means that you probably have a healthy relationship with what you decide to take photos of and what you decide to not take photos of.
And you probably aren't a victim. of this weird pressure that we put on ourselves. to look interesting on social media and capture every moment.
And so you might have nothing to worry about.
You might you might already have this figured out.
You might already have a healthy balance.
And so You can just continue living life as is.
And if you feel stressed out and upset about not being able to capture the moment.
You need to ask yourself, why? Is it because... you're bummed that nobody's going to know that you were doing what you were doing. because now you can't post about it.
Does that upset you? Because if that upsets you, then that means that you might have an unhealthy relationship with your online persona, you might be too obsessed with curating that. to a point where it's becoming almost too emotional for you, which is not good.
You know, that's like... You're almost too dependent on that online persona and what people think of it. if you're deeply upset by not being able to post a the activity that you're participating in and if you're upset because you're like, I'm going to forget.
Like this is not going to be – like I won't have access to this memory anymore because –
I won't have a concrete photo of it. Wait a week and See if the memory that you have of that moment in your head fills you with joy, or if you can't remember anything about it, like, like, analyze how well you were able to remember it.
And I think you'll be shocked to see that the memory that you have in your head of that moment is powerful just like a photo it's but it's powerful in a different way because A memory in a photo is interesting because you can see it. physically see it.
It is a real snapshot of that moment. But a memory in your head is special because when you close your eyes, you can actually be there almost.
And our brains have an interesting way of processing memories where actually when we remember things. we don't remember them exactly how they were because it's impossible to do that.
Like, our brains I don't think are capable of that.
Our memories are sort of, a spark noted version of what happened.
Our memories call out the key points that were maybe the most memorable and that's all you need.
You don't need to have every memory documented in photo.
And there's something kind of magical about a memory that's just in your head.
Because there's just something beautiful about it, too.
There's something beautiful about that type of memory as well.
Not to say that. there isn't something magical about a memory in a photo, there is.
But not every memory you have needs to be documented in photo.
So I don't know, try this out, try this out in your life and see how it all makes you feel.
And from there, you can become more aware of how this works sort of societal pressure is affecting you or not.
It's interesting. I'm curious. Let me know what you think.
You can tweet me at AG podcast or send me a DM on Instagram at anything goes and let me know what you think.
Do you feel like this is an issue or do you feel like it's fine?
And it's like, who cares? Yeah, I might not be as present but at least I have a video to look back on. or a photo to look back on.
So I don't care. Or do you think it just depends on the situation?
Let me know. I'm so curious. Thank you guys so much for listening per usual.
I am hung over as we know. I really want to take a nap and eat something warm.
Don't know what it is. yet but it's just like something warm and yummy like I just want something warm and yummy like a warm breakfast burrito or something like wow that would be delish yeah that's all i have for today thank you guys for listening Thank you guys for hanging out.
Also super exciting announcement. you might've seen on the Anything Goes Instagram, but come 2023, Anything Goes and Spotify. are now in an exclusive partnership, which is insane to me.
I am so excited and I've just been the biggest fan of Spotify forever and I've been listening to literally everything, music, podcasts, everything on Spotify since I was like 14 years old.
And it's just been my place that I go to listen to everything for as long as I can remember.
And I'm just so excited to... be partnering with them next year.
It's going to give me the resources. and tools to make anything goes even better but don't worry by the way i'm still going to be recording an episode every week from my bed that is...
Nothing will change there. Like that is not changing, but I'll be able to add more, you know, it's not.
Like the podcast, what it is now is not gonna change, but rather I'm gonna be able to add even more.
I'm going to be able to provide even more every week, not just one episode from my bed, but also some other ideas that I've had for ever that I've Always wanted to try, but just haven't had the resources to do necessarily.
Thank all of you. for listening every week and supporting this podcast.
Because without you listening and hopefully enjoying it.
I wouldn't have been able to make this partnership happen.
So I'm so incredibly grateful. for you.
And I truly just love doing this every week.
And I can't wait to do even more. in the future.
That's all I got today, you guys. I will talk to you next week.
Okay. I love you. Bye. Here's a list of reasons to use Instacart The game is on The game just ended The next game is on Life is busy, but with Instacart, you really don't ever have to leave the couch.
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