Maybe we should have talked about this before.
Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Oh, no, no, not at all.
We're just moving in right now.
We'll see where it goes.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
For me, it's as far as it can ever go.
What do you mean?
Look, Phoebe, I love you very much, but I never want to get married again.
Oh.
Wow.
No, it's just my first marriage.
Was, you know, such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea?
Was it really that bad?
At one point near the end, she deliberately defecated on me.
Okay, well, that's bad, yeah.
But don't you think it might be different with someone else?
Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet...
Except for once in the ocean.
Look, it's not about who I would marry.
I was certain the first time I got married, it would last forever, and I was totally wrong.
But it just... Look, Phoebe, it's not about you.
I just never want to get married again.
Huh.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay with that?
Because if not, maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
No, oh, I definitely don't want to get married.
No, I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to, too.
Because you know, if we move in and you start changing your mind, there's going to be hell to pay, mister.
Trust me, I will never.
Yeah, I get that, yeah.
Hey Pheebs, you know I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
Oh, yeah, you were helpful.
Yeah.
No, thank you.
Good, good.
Yeah, because the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.
What do you mean?
Well, I know, the other day in the coffee house you were all caught up in the whole soccer mom thing.
But is that really you?
I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
They are awfully boxy.
I mean, I don't know.
You'd be so bored with marriage.
I mean, it's so normal.
Uh-huh.
Hey, hey, can I help?
Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pit bull.
But these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.
Hey, where do you guys want this?
Yeah, seriously, because this is really heavy.
I mean, not for me because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
Just one last time, the marriage thing, there's no wiggle room, none at all?
No, but you don't want to get married either, right?
Right.
Except that I do want to get married.
Couldn't have had this conversation down at the truck.
Huh, you want to get married someday and hernia, I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt like I was missing out on anything, but it just it feels like now it's my turn to have some of the regular stuff.
If you want to get married, why didn't you say something before?
Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it and I and I love you and I wanted to live with you.
Well, I want to live with you too.
I mean, let's do that.
But I don't think I can.
It was OK to move in when I didn't know what was going to happen.
But I can't move in knowing nothing is ever going to happen.
Can you at least try living together?
I mean, you might change your mind about marriage.
Are you going to change yours?
No.
Me neither.
Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
But I don't want this to end.
No, I don't want it to end either.
I can't believe this is going to end.
I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
Yeah, OK.
Okay, so, uh... Bye.
Take it easy, Mike.
