Ango.
I said Ango.
That's crazy.
All right.
Do you know what I realized?
I realized that most people do not treat themselves as somebody that they get to experience.
And I'm telling you, this shit changed my entire life.
It changed my relationship with myself.
Trigger warning.
I grew up in a way where every name in the book i was called okay.
There was just so much violence and just so much verbal abuse and just so much.
It was just terrible.
It got to a point in my life where i will tell people there's nothing you can say to me that can move me, because i've heard it all at home.
My childhood made me believe that everything about me was wrong.
Every time you relate to people, they are giving you information about how they see you, about your place in the world, how they accept you, how he allows you to move through the world.
Why do you think people pleasing is a sin?
So I had to figure out a way to create a relationship with myself where I could gather information about myself outside all that I had been given.
And the only way I could do that was by treating myself as a separate entity.
Entity, a separate person.
Sometimes, the reason why we struggle so much is you're moving through the world.
Your entire way of moving through the world is about how other people relate to you and how you relate to other people, but i had to turn it around where i included myself in the other people that i relate to.
How Do I treat Pearl?
What does Pearl need?
What does she like?
I thought about it this way.
When somebody comes to you, when a person comes to you to talk to you and you care about what they're saying you sit down and you listen, don't you?
You listen to them.
They talk about their problems or they talk about what's on their mind.
You give them your hundred percent attention.
I started treating myself that way.
I will sit in silence for hours.
Yeah.
And I'll try to hear my thoughts.
What is going on?
What is coming up for me?
This is part of the reason why I don't drink.
I don't smoke.
I don't use any substances because I told myself I want to be somebody who knows this person.
I want to know Pearl so much.
That nobody can tell me something about Pearl that I don't know about Pearl.
I have full conversations with myself.
Sometimes, when things are swelling in my head, I will just stand for a few minutes and I'll be like Pearl, what's going on?
And I will speak and I will answer and I will go.
You know, this is what I'm thinking.
And I'll allow all parts of me, all my tension, I'll speak it all out.
As if there are like two people or three people in the room.
If I'm mean to me, I go, oh my God, I am sorry, babe.
I kiss myself.
I have my lip gloss on now, so I'm not gonna do it.
If, if something good happens, the way people hug you and they're like oh my god pearl, i love you.
I love you and you know my friends, sometimes they hug you and they kiss you.
When i get the kisses and hugs from everybody, i kiss myself too.
I go, i love you so much, thank you.
Thank you, i packed my bum.
Let me keep this ipad.
I packed my bum.
I'm like well done.
I'm like boo, well done.
I do it all the time.
By treating myself like that, I allowed myself, I allowed myself to exist fully.
I still haven't met anybody who has told me something about myself that I don't know.
I'm just telling you because I make studying Pearl a daily task.
Wow, i didn't know this about pearl.
That's so interesting, babe.
Wow, this has changed from this time.
Oh, my god babe, and it's a whole thing.
It's as if there's another person in the room.
Okay, when you're with people that you love what you do, you're learning, you're trying to accommodate them, You're trying to know what works for them, what doesn't work for them.
You're trying to see how you guys merge, how you work together, you do your best.
But because you're like merged with yourself, you just let it go with yourself.
You're rude, you're mean, you're nasty, you're unkind.
Maybe some people you don't need this, but i'm speaking to people who struggle.
Maybe your entire sense of self has been built by a lot of trauma and a lot of pain and a lot of struggle.
This might help you, because now you become a trusted adult.
You know how as children, they will say, bring a trusted adult.
What is a trusted adult?
A trusted adult is a person who holds on all the information, all the necessary information, about a thing, about a person, about a situation.
When you call a trusted adult, the person you're calling them for trusts that something will be sorted in one way or the other.
The reason they are trusted is because when they come into the situation, something will change.
When someone says, call your manager, I'm the manager, okay?
In this business of Pearl, I am the manager.
So when I say something about myself, I mean it because I know myself.
Genuinely, I am so curious about myself.
I know myself enough to know my limits.
I know myself enough to know not just my limits, my shortcomings.
It's basically treating yourself like somebody you are in a relationship with.
You will not ignore your loved ones for so long and then be wondering why the relationship is terrible.
And that's what happens to most of us.
You ignore yourself.
You don't know yourself.
Things have been happening giving you information about who you are, what you are, about what you do.
You never catch it because at no point in your life are you looking at yourself as an entity that you also get to experience.
And now listen, some people might think that this is too much.
You shouldn't try to know yourself.
So too much awareness is bad.
Honestly, when I say stuff here, I'm not trying to convince you of anything.
When I come in here, it's like, girl, did you know?
Did you know?
Did you know I learned?
That's all I'm here to do.
I just know that there are people who really struggle honestly to take up space in this world, to be okay with themselves, to love themselves, to hold their boundaries, to move with confidence and with love and with care for themselves.
As somebody who was never taught, I'm telling you, what I was handed about myself was hate.
You are worthless.
You are useless.
I wish you were never born.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I started hearing these things from a really, really, really early age.
You are ugly.
You're this.
You're that.
You're demonic.
You're a liar.
I want you dead.
I heard all these things.
Okay?
Okay?
No one told me I was beautiful and that I'm confident and I'm this.
No one told me that I'm strong and I'm able.
No one told me.
I learned this because I met Pearl.
Because I asked about her.
Because I watched her.
Because I read her.
I listened to Pearl.
So that's how I know because, by relating to Pearl as an entity that I get to experience, the information is fact.
So it countered all the words and the lies because I have eyes, I can see who Pearl is.
So no, The lies mean nothing.
They don't mean anything anymore, because I know Pearl and I seen her and she's kind and she's firm and she's assertive and she's powerful and she's sweet and she's not always nice.
But her heart is so good.
Honest.
Oh girl, she's honest.
I knew this.
So when someone calls me names and when someone says stuff about me, it just falls off my back.
Because you don't know Pearl.
I do.
And people who know Pearl wouldn't say that.
This is a very, very tiny shift.
Tiny shift.
Because when I tell you, oh, love yourself, treat yourself better, don't criticize yourself.
It's not about feeling out of habit.
Treat yourself like a separate entity that you get to experience.
I spend all my time with me, almost all my time with me.
And even people who don't like spending time with themselves.
Whether you like it or not, you will spend almost all your time with yourself.
So it's not even a choice.
If I know that I'm always with myself, no matter what, everywhere I go, there I would be.
I have no option, absolutely no option okay than to realize that, at the end of the day, the only person I should be people pleasing for is me, that entity that is me.
Because everywhere I go, the effects of my action will follow me.
There, neurocosmic notes is back.
There is my newsletter.
Okay, i know some of you signed up and you're like where are my notes?
Pearl pearl girl, where are the notes you promised?
The notes are back to celebrate my welcoming back, or is it to celebrate my coming back?
I made a little guide for you, just a small gift.
Download it in the first link, just the first link.
It's a free guide, a self-inquiry guides that i've made for you.
Now that i've figured out a system for myself.
You'll find me on neurocosmic notes.
You'll be hearing from me often.
So run jump, hurry and download your free guide and i will see you in the next video.
Bye bye bye bye, bye.
I am saying bye bye bye bye, bye.
I am saying bye, Bye to a friend.
Bye to a brother.
Bye to a sister.
Bye to everybody.
Bye.
Bye to a brother.
Bye to a sister.
Bye.
Bye.
Oh, I'm saying bye.
Bye.
I'm saying bye.
Bye.
