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Hey, everyone, welcome back to Podcast and Chill.
I'm Gwen, here to give you some helpful tips.
And I'm Leo, here to be Gwen's hype man.
So, Leo, have you ever been in that spot where you just draw a blank, like your tongue got tied in a knot.
Oh, you have no idea.
That's happened to me more times than I can count.
That sounds rough. And scary.
It's like my brain hits airplane mode.
I get it. It's the worst when you want to keep the convo going, but have no idea what to say.
Right, like, good conversations help you connect with people, make a solid impression.
And I'm over here like, uh, nice weather?
Well, that's a pretty common thing.
Wait, for real? I thought I was just bad at this.
It's way more common than people admit.
You wouldn't happen to have a magic trick or something that can help me become a smooth talker, would you?
Well, I don't have any of that.
But I do have five simple techniques that can help you never run out of things to talk about.
Hit me up with it. I'm all ears.
Let's dive in. So, what's the first technique?
The first one's called, Reminds Me Of...
Wait. What reminds you of what now?
No, no. That's the name of the trick.
Reminds Me Of... Oh, sounds mysterious.
What's the deal with it?
It's very simple. You just gotta find something you know, either what's going on around or what your friend is saying, and then the convo just kind of takes off.
I'm still a little lost. What's that got to do with Reminds me of...
Okay, say someone tells you they just got back from Toronto.
You could say, Toronto reminds me of my first solo trip.
How does that work?
Our brains are basically like little detectives for patterns.
When we see something we know, it's like a lightbulb goes off in our memory bank.
And then...? That memory becomes your jumping off point for more chatting.
Hmm... That's a kinda sneaky way to get a convo going.
But does it keep the ball rolling?
Totally. When you bring up something familiar, it can unlock stuff you both know or have experienced.
It's like an instant connection.
Yeah? That checks out?
Plus, hearing something familiar is kinda comforting, right?
It makes the whole talking thing less scary and more chill, so people are more likely to open up and join in.
Dang, this is kind of genius, but am I supposed to spill my whole life story every time something reminds me of something?
Please don't. Keep it short and sweet, okay?
Don't make it a, my life is more interesting competition.
What do you mean by that?
Like if someone says, I hiked a small mountain.
Don't say, Oh cool, I climbed Everest. Even if I actually did?
Then play it cool or save that story for later?
Let their moment shine first. Alright, alright.
I'll be chill. And one more thing.
Only use it when the connection actually makes sense.
Don't force it. So if someone says, I like cats, I probably shouldn't say that reminds me of when I watched Tom and Jerry?
Yeah. Maybe skip that one.
What if I can't think of anything that reminds me of something?
Easy. Just ask them some open -ended questions.
Why open -ended? why not just regular yes or no ones?
Because yes or no questions are convo -killers.
You shut the door before it even opens.
Seriously? Think about it.
You ask, do you like Toronto?
They go, yeah. And then the awkward silence.
That's true. But if you ask something like, what was your favorite part of your trip to Toronto?
Now they've got something to actually talk about.
So basically, give them room to say more.
Yep. Or like, instead of, do you like your job?
Try, what do you enjoy most about your job?
Okay, but, coming up with those kinds of questions on the spot isn't easy.
It's easier than you think.
Just remember the 5 -W -1 -H trick.
Oh yeah. What? Where?
When? Who, why, and how?
Right. Bingo, especially why.
Ugh, why, why? Because why helps people open up.
It gets into their reasons and insights.
Oh, so it leads to stories you can relate to.
That makes sense! Yup!
And when you understand the why, you're more likely to connect with them on a deeper level.
But doesn't asking why sometimes sound a little…intense?
Like I'm grilling them?
Totally get that. That's why your tone matters.
How should I ask why questions?
Ask like you're genuinely curious, not like your Sherlock Holmes.
Hey, in his defense, Sherlock Holmes does sound chill when he grills those criminals.
Well, you're not wrong, but anyway, you're not a cop.
Don't question them like one.
Haha, noted. But, hey, Gwen, I've got another problem.
What problem? What if we've got nothing in common?
If so, I will run out of ideas to ask them eventually.
Ah, I see where you're going.
That leads us to technique number three.
Oh, what is it? It's for those moments when the convo dies.
Let's use the revival questions.
Can they bring our conversation back to life?
Of course. It can even help you switch topics without it feeling weird. Amazing.
How do I use this magic?
Cool. If you're with a group, try stuff like so how do you all know each other or who plan this get -together?
I like that. It's natural and it gets everyone talking.
What about one -on -one?
Good question. If it's just the two of you, go a little deeper.
Like what? Like what's your story or how do you end up doing what you do?
Oh, that's a good one.
It's open enough to let them tell whatever they feel like.
I know, right? What if I want to change the topic?
Just follow the flow.
Their answers usually drop hints you can pick up on.
Like reading between the lines?
Yep. Say they mentioned moving recently.
You can ask, what's the hardest part about moving?
Or, what do you like most about living there?
Well, I might struggle with shifting gears while driving, but I believe I can smoothly switch topics.
Just don't turn it into a full on job interview.
That's a trap a lot of people fall into.
Copy that. I'll keep it casual and sprinkle in a little charm.
Alright, now we're getting to the good stuff.
Wait, those previous parts weren't good?
No, no, they were awesome.
But this one's my favorite.
Alright, spill it. Compliments.
Ugh, I don't know Gwen, tossing out compliments like candy can come off kind of fake don't you think?
Only if you give fake ones.
I'm not talking about the basic nice -shirt type.
Okay then, what kind are you talking about?
It's called cold reading.
Cold what now? It's when you make a compliment based on something you observe, like how someone acts, what they're wearing, or how they carry themselves.
For example? For example, if someone is interacting with kids, you might say, You seem really good with children.
And if they think I'm being weird, I can back it up with, I could just tell by how you were chatting with that kid over there.
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Yep. That's it. It's not random.
It's based on what you noticed.
You know what? I actually like that.
It feels more real.
Right? It's about picking up on something cool about them and giving it a little spotlight.
But what if I get it wrong?
I mean, I'm not quite a good observer.
No, Biggie, just turn it into a question.
How? Like if they say, Oh, I'm actually not that great with kids.
You can follow up with, Oh really?
What are you great at then?
Oh, that's smooth. Of course.
So basically, notice stuff, say something nice, and if you mess up, just roll with it?
Yep. And being a little intuitive… But you know what?
No matter what I do, awkward silences still sneak into my conversations.
You mean, like, those weird long pauses?
Yeah, exactly. I hate them.
It feels like something's wrong if no one's talking.
Honestly, silence isn't always a bad thing.
It's totally normal.
Really? How can silence ever be good?
It gives people a second to think or to take in what was just said.
It's kind of like a pause in music.
It adds depth, right?
Huh. Never thought about it that way.
I always feel like I need to fill the gap.
That pressure to keep talking – it can actually mess things up.
You might end up oversharing or blurting out random stuff.
Yeah. Guilty. So how do you deal with those silent moments?
Just hold eye contact and stay calm.
It shows you're confident and chill.
So instead of panicking I should just let the silence be?
Yep, and here's a trick.
You can try the echo move.
Echo? Yeah. Just repeat the last few words they said, like casually.
It signals you're listening and nudges them to keep going.
Why does that work?
It shows that you're listening to them and people love to be heard. Oh, that makes sense.
And, honestly, comfortable silence is a good thing.
It shows you're good being there together.
I like that. I'll probably rely on this technique next time I run into the Long Paws.
Love the energy, Leo, but just remember, you shouldn't rely on just one technique.
Why not? I mean, you can't sit in silence forever, right?
Ugh, fair point. You gotta mix things up.
It keeps the conversation flowing and feels more real.
Oh, so instead of sticking to one trick, I should just bounce between them as things go along?
Yep. And honestly, it helps if you prep a little.
Prep? Like, study for a test?
Kinda. Think about having a few go -to stories or questions ready.
Like a cheat sheet?
Yep! Even better. Make your own collection of… stories.
That sounds hard. My memory's already working over time.
Look, prepping is helpful, but don't stress too much. The key is to keep it natural.
Easy for you to say.
What if my brain just goes totally blank.
Just practice. Practice giving compliments, telling stories, and asking better questions.
Man, I was hoping you'd have some magical brain hack or something.
Nope, no magic here.
Just the good old repetition.
the more you practice the smoother it gets so practice now or panic later huh write cry at home now or cry in awkward silence later your choice okay Gwen before we totally peace out let's pick out a few useful words from today's episode love it these will come in handy if you're serious about improving your conversations first word awkward silence that's when nobody talks And it feels super uncomfortable.
Yup. It's like when you're with someone and suddenly – boom.
Quiet. You start sweating, wondering if you said something weird. For example, after he told the joke, there was an awkward silence in the room.
Next up, open -ended.
This means a question that doesn't have a simple yes or no answer.
Like when you ask, what do you love about your job, instead of just do you like your job?
For example, she asked open -ended questions to keep the conversation going.
Number three, compliment.
That's when you say something nice to someone.
Just make sure it's real, not fake.
People can tell. For example, he gave her a compliment about her creative idea.
Fourth, revive. It means to bring something back, like a conversation that's dying.
Like CPR, but for small talk.
For example, he asked a funny question to revive the awkward conversation.
Last one, Natural. It means something that feels easy and relaxed, not forced.
Like the way Leo talks when he's not trying to be funny.
Hey, I'm naturally hilarious.
For example, their conversation felt natural and easy.
Okay, Leo, time to hit our listeners with some reflection questions.
Yep. If you're listening, think about these.
Or say your answers out loud.
Or even better, drop them in the comments.
Which conversation technique from today's episode do you think will help you the most?
For me, it's the reminds me of trick.
I always have random stories.
Now I know how to use them better.
I'm team open -ended questions.
They always lead to deeper, more real convos.
Have you ever had an awkward silence in a conversation?
What did you do? Totally.
I used to panic, but now I just breathe and let it pass.
Same. Or I just echo the last thing they said, like, yeah, Toronto, huh?
It works every time.
Now it's your turn!
What's your favorite technique from today's episode?
and which one are you going to try first?
Leave your answer in the comments.
We want to hear from you.
It's time to say goodbye.
But before we wrap up, let's do a quick recap of the five ways to charm your way into a conversation.
First up, the reminds me of trick.
It's perfect for connecting your own stories to what someone else just said.
Then we've got open -ended questions.
These keep the conversation going and help you really get to know someone.
Number three, revival questions.
Great for bringing a dead conversation back to life.
Can't forget Gwen's favorite, compliments.
A genuine one can totally boost the vibe and show you're actually paying attention.
And last but not least, silence.
Don't be afraid of a little pause.
Sometimes saying nothing says a lot.
And remember, all of this gets easier with practice.
Yup! Try these out in your next conversation and see how it goes.
You might be surprised.
Just don't forget, good talk isn't about talking nonstop, it's about making real connections.
So, what's your favorite technique?
And which one are you going to try first?
Drop it in the comments below.
I'm Leo. And I'm Gwen.
Thanks for hanging out with us today.
Catch you next time on Podcast and Chill.
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