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Hello there. Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Friday.
It's Eve here. Thanks for joining me today.
It's a lovely way to end the week with you.
I remember when I lost my first job it was just after college and I gave everything to it.
I remember thinking how could this happen to me?
Did I not work hard enough?
you know I was young and perhaps a little naive in the business world and it took a while to appreciate that unfortunately things like this do happen and tough decisions have to be made.
It wasn't personal but the emotional roller coaster that followed was intense.
At first it was total shock.
That feeling of, did that really just happen?
And then a lot of fear.
How will I manage? How will I pay my bills?
Then a lot of anger.
How could they do this to me?
Followed by a lot of self -doubt and then grief.
Because losing a job is a loss.
I think about that time when someone tells me they've lost their job.
And I think about what I would say to my younger self, knowing what I know now.
Firstly, I would say it's okay to feel what you're feeling.
In fact, see if you can embrace the emotions with kindness instead of judgment.
You don't have to push them away.
I would say take a breath or two or three and know that it won't always feel like this.
perhaps place a hand on your heart center if that helps and gently name what you're feeling.
This is anger, this is sadness, this is uncertainty.
When we name our emotions, we create some space to process them rather than feeling consumed by them and you're allowed to feel all of it.
When it comes to navigating a job loss, there is no right way and no rule that says you need to feel grateful or optimistic immediately.
I know that feeling of fear can be so strong and the desperation that can come with needing to find another job as quickly as possible.
But I also know taking care of yourself in this process would allow you the space to move forward more skillfully.
So the next job you take is the right one for you.
I remember when I first got dumped — okay, that's a UK term — but broken up with.
And bear with me here.
Processing a job loss is quite like processing the end of a relationship that wasn't your decision.
It can leave you feeling vulnerable and powerless, because you see things very differently.
And of course there's also been times when someone ended a relationship and I realised, okay, that did need to happen.
And the same can apply to a job.
But either way it's hard and it doesn't feel nice.
And it's so easy to spiral into self judgment.
What if I'd worked harder?
If only I'd done things differently, maybe I wasn't good enough?
And it's interesting how we're so quick to think it's something we did and that it's our fault.
So what if, for now, you could hold just a little curiosity?
Instead of asking, why is this happening to me?
Try reframing and asking, what if this is happening for me?
It a hundred percent doesn't mean pretending to be happy about it.
It just means allowing the possibility that something good may come from this in time.
I really want to acknowledge that it can take time to process the loss of a job.
Something is ending and grief is attached to that.
It's normal to feel that uncertainty and to be scared about what lies ahead.
Mindfulness as a practice helps us make space for that discomfort without letting it take over.
So if you find that your mind is spinning take a moment to ground yourself in the present moment.
Feel your feet on the floor, notice your breath moving in and out and bring your attention to what is within your control right now.
Instead of getting lost in the big, overwhelming unknown, try and focus on the next small step.
That's all you need to do right now.
And as you navigate the road ahead, be so kind to yourself.
Losing a job is tough enough.
You don't need to make it harder by criticizing yourself.
And as much as you can, take this time to rest when you need to.
Surround yourself with support and remind yourself that you're not alone.
I know it may not feel like it, but it won't be like this forever.
It's just a pause before something new begins.
Thank you so much for joining me.
I hope this was helpful.
This is going to be my last episode for now, but hopefully I'll get to see you again at some point soon.
Take care, and as always, you can find me at Meditate with Eve.
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