Greetings, my name is Keisunga and I welcome you this Thursday to Radio Headspace.
So I recall when I first started practicing meditation and mindfulness, I had this notion of going super hard.
I had heard that certain popular meditation experts or quote -unquote gurus meditated for like two hours a day.
So that's what I stood out to do.
Naturally it was a bust because I wasn't doing it authentically.
My intention was ego -driven.
They do it for two hours, so I have to do it for two hours.
But once I aligned my practice with my true intention, then my practice started to shift.
I was now in a space of authenticity, which really made all the difference.
My practice, intention, and life was in full alignment.
As my practice started to shift, I also noticed that my everyday behavior also shifted, which rubbed off on my wife.
We didn't have any children at the time when I first started practicing.
Our relationship shifted in a more positive direction.
And naturally once the children did come, I continued to lead by example.
And so now that my children are older, 16 and 12 years old, they pretty much know that papa is all about that mindful life.
And I notice how it rubs off on them.
Well, most of the time because they definitely have their hellacious moments, but overall they are able to govern themselves in a mindful manner.
My point is for motivation and inspiration with your practice, I invite you to bring to mind how your practice will affect others, especially those closest to you.
And please believe that the opposite also holds true.
Case in point, when I was in private practice as an outpatient psychotherapist, I had a client who came to see me with an initial complaint of high stress and anxiety.
Besides his job, a major source of stress was his son.
He explained that his son, who was 16 years old, was totally out of control.
He was cutting class, partying, and drinking with his friends.
And when my client discovered his son was also smoking weed, he became very afraid.
Right before my eyes, he was getting angrier and angrier.
For my fellow comic book fans, it was like he was turning green like the Incredible Hulk.
As soon as he paused just for a little, I jumped in quickly and asked for us to take a pause with some relaxation breaths.
He realized how fired up he had become.
When he settled down, I inquired if he spoke to his son in that type of manner.
He said that he did.
I just lose it, he said.
I asked him what he did to cope, to calm down.
And he stated that he himself smokes weed for relaxation.
I inquired if his son knows he smokes weed and he said, yeah, he knows.
And he also knows it's only for adults.
I immediately told him that it doesn't matter if he told his son that the behavior is for adults because he sees what you're actually doing.
My father is angry, loud, and smokes weed.
So I'm going to essentially do the same thing.
My client saw the correlation immediately and then asked for some solutions.
And this story of my client is actually a great example for all parents.
Your kids are following you.
If you want grounded and mindful children, then guess what?
It starts with you.
Your personal practice has to be consistent, present, and with authentic intentions.
For my client, I suggested that he starts meditating in places where his son will see him because before he would practice in private.
I then suggested that after a while, gently invite him to join in without any pressure or judgment, a kind and gentle invitation.
My client followed the instructions and within two months, he noticed a difference in his son's behavior.
It wasn't a super drastic change, but these transitions don't happen overnight.
It's the journey that's also important.
So I hope this was helpful.
Thanks so much for listening today.
I look forward to connecting with you tomorrow.
Hi, everyone. K. Sangha here.
If you're here, I assume that you like Radio Headspace.
And if you like Radio Headspace, you will love Dear Headspace.
Dear Headspace is our weekly talk show featuring every teacher on the show and our wonderful host, Robin.
We talk about life.
There is a level of almost addiction here where you're addicted to just information like information overload, relationships.
Before you can spread love and kindness to others, you have to first cultivate it within yourself and anything else you can think to ask us.
The first step with any change that you want to make is that acceptance and that awareness.
You can find it on the Headspace app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
