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Hi, Sam here.
Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Thursday.
So one of the most common issues people seek mindfulness for is emotional regulation.
Whether it's anger issues or self-doubt, having emotions get the best of us impacts our relationships, our work life and our overall health and wellbeing.
I was so fascinated with the world of emotions that I pursued a master's degree in emotion science.
So I want to highlight two ways that we tend to regulate our emotions.
One is beneficial. and one much less so.
They're called reappraisal and suppression.
You may already have experience with suppression.
I think all of us suppress urges, impulses and emotions at times when we think that expressing them may be inappropriate.
This kind of restraint is often appropriate and perfectly healthy.
So, for example, if your coworker says something infuriating, you may suppress your anger temporarily so that you don't flip the table and take time to figure out how you want to handle the situation wisely to preserve your job.
However, if we use suppression as our primary way of regulating our emotions, it can have some serious consequences.
Like if you shut down whenever you and your romantic partner have an argument.
Maybe you're standoffish or quiet instead of saying how you feel.
This can lead to resentment and a rift in the relationship.
So you can see the difference between a brief moment of suppression and using suppression as a primary coping strategy.
So here are some research findings regarding those who use suppression as a primary mode of dealing with difficult emotions.
Suppressors have reported experiencing less positive emotion and more negative emotion, including symptoms of depression and feeling inauthentic.
In controlled experiments.
They're less liked by their social interaction partners and the blood pressure of their interaction partners increases during that interaction.
Now let's consider reappraisers.
First off, reappraisal occurs when we change how we interpret or appraise a situation.
So, for example, if someone cuts you off on the freeway, you may immediately assume they're an inconsiderate jerk feeling angry, and if you haven't had lunch yet, maybe even enraged.
But if you imagine an alternate cause, like maybe there's an emergency and they're trying to get to the hospital as soon as possible, then you may have a more empathic or at least less emotionally charged response.
Research has shown opposite patterns for suppressors when compared to reappraisers.
They show decreased negative emotions and increased positive emotional experiences.
Those who choose to reappraise show reduced physiological stress responses and fewer depressive symptoms.
Reappraising has been shown to improve memory and is linked to closer relationships with friends.
So let's just take a pause and consider where you feel you fit along this continuum.
Are you more of a suppressor or appraiser?
See if you can let go of judgment or self-criticism as you start to consider your tendencies.
Wherever you are on your journey, here are a couple of healthy emotion regulation tips that you can start using right away.
First off, whenever you encounter a difficult situation, or what you deem to be one initially, you can pause and ask yourself What else might be true.
This helps us to imagine alternative scenarios to our initial knee-jerk appraisals and remember that there's a whole world of possibilities that could play into what's happening.
Another helpful question is, what is one generous assumption or interpretation that I can make?
And this really invites us to cultivate a generous and compassionate attitude toward ourselves and others.
Now I know that if we're used to suppressing emotions, these tips, though they may seem simple, can be really difficult to put into practice.
But that's the thing.
It takes practice and a lot of self-kindness and compassion.
And just remember that change takes time.
So the more you do it, the easier it will become.
Just imagine the possibility of a world where we're all giving each other the benefit of the doubt.
Thanks so much for listening.
