I have recently taken a lover.
Well, that's great.
Congratulations.
Who's the lucky lady?
Pam's mom.
What?
Pam's mom, Helene.
Remember from your wedding?
You're messing with me.
About what?
You did not have sex with Pam's mom.
Oh, big time.
What kind of car does she drive?
She drives a green Camry.
And the seats go all the way down.
All the way down.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
What?
Okay, never tell Pam.
And then secondly... Good, a pact.
A pact.
Although I may have to break it tonight when Helena and I tell Pam over dinner.
You all right?
Oh, my God.
Hey, Jim.
Not now, Toby, my God.
Get the hell out of here, idiot.
What did I do?
Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that.
And please, for both of our sakes, never, ever, ever see her again.
I think you're underestimating Pam.
I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy.
No.
Not more than anything.
Okay.
I have a good thing with the mom.
Don't call her the mom.
She's right on my way home from work.
Then take a different way home, man!
All right.
I'll take surface streets.
The last thing in the world I would want to do is upset Pam.
Okay.
So, we're good.
Yeah.
Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two?
Sure.
Oh, is it okay if I put out some candy that Pam brought back from Puerto Rico?
Sure.
Thanks for asking.
Pam, we're all set.
Black Eyed Beans!
Black Eyed Beans!
So, what'd we decide for Michael?
The bottle of rum or the seashell alarm clock?
You know what?
Can I have the weekend to decide?
Bottle of rum it is.
Alright, shall we?
You know what, I am really slammed trying to catch up on everything here.
And I know that Mike is slammed too.
So maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy.
Come on, it'll take two seconds.
Oh, wow.
That is amazing.
I feel like a real Puerto Rican.
Michael, you're all set at Botticelli's.
I changed the reservation to two people.
Here, look.
Fun!
Yeah.
Wow, Botticelli's.
That sounds like a special occasion.
Yeah.
No, it's nobody.
I don't know.
I think Michael has a date.
No.
I think you have a date.
I don't.
I don't.
Come on.
I think we should just drop it, because obviously he doesn't want to talk about it.
I don't deserve this, guys.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
Just take the parrot.
OK.
Back to the old grind.
I was probably going to break up with her anyway.
Oh.
Don't.
That's too bad.
Pam, it is very complicated.
There are a lot of moving parts here.
Sounds complicated.
Yeah, but I mean, if you really like this person, then you should see where it goes.
You want me to be happy?
Of course.
Part of the problem is, she is the mother of a close friend of mine.
Oh.
More than a friend.
A co-worker.
Who is it?
Who is it?
Who is it, Michael?
Who?
It's okay.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
Oh, my God!
Oh!
That could have gone one of two ways, but I never expected her to get upset.