Jennifer Lawrence is probably freaking out that she can't get to me.
The world doesn't revolve around you, bitch.
I can't just stand here anymore.
I'm going outside to get a signal.
You know what else you can get outside?
Your face eating.
Well, I'm going to go risk the life I have to go get the life I want.
Sounds like a trailer for a Liam Neeson movie.
Finding Liam Neeson.
Good luck.
That guy's been taking more times than my virginities.
All right.
I got a signal and a warning growl from a coyote.
But I talked to Jennifer Lawrence's people and she and I are gonna FaceTime in 20 minutes.
If you still have a face.
Where's Bruno?
Maybe he's back there in the sauna like a little hot dog.
Where's my big boy?
Um, seriously, where's my big boy?
You didn't leave the door open, did you?
No.
I'm sure he's in here somewhere.
Bruno!
Bruno!
Bruno!
Bruno!
Finding Bruno.
Max, I'm really sorry.
Maybe we could replace the dog with one that looks exactly the same.
Like men here do with wives.
Or maybe we don't assume he's dead after six seconds until we go out there and find him.
Okay, good luck.
You're coming with me.
Randy loves Bruno, and I like Randy.
Don't think I didn't hear what you almost said.
We need to find the dog.
But it's getting dark and there's someone out there who wants to kill us.
Trust me, there's someone in there who wants to kill you.
Flashlight.
We need flashlights.
You like him.
Now there are two people in here who want to kill you.
How could he have gotten this far on such little legs?
I don't know, Danny DeVito seems to get around a lot.
Even when you tell Randy this is 100% your fault, he's still gonna break up with me.
Rex, you've been with him four days.
I know, it's my longest relationship!
I'm really sorry, Max.
We'll find him.
Oh, my God.
What?
You see Bruno?
No, I see bars on my phone.
We have to stay right here.
It's almost time for my FaceTime.
Give me that stupid thing.
I'll put it down my pants and I'll go get it.
You?
Gotta focus.
Help me find that dog.
I don't want to ruin things with Randy or his house.
Max, this is so far past boundaries.
Don't talk to me about boundaries.
Who let the dog out?
Who?
Who?
Who?
Who?
Who?
As I said to Kevin Burlington my sophomore year of college, just take it.
This is serious.
Randy has given me so much.
Sunglasses, gift baskets, an orgasm with eye contact.
Oh my God!
I know!
Usually I have to push their face away.
No, look!
We're at the foot of the Hollywood sign!
Quick selfie?
I mean, we have to, right?
On the way back, once we find the dog, which we are definitely going to do.
Jennifer Lawrence is calling.
Did you just hang up on J-law?
I'm pretty sure that's against the J-law.
You're out here because you lost Randy's dog and there's a strange man standing over there and all you can think about is Jennifer Lawrence.
Did you just say there's a strange man standing over there?
Oh, my God, I did.
Look.
See, there, the old guy in the stained sweatsuit.
Oh, he must be Randy's neighbor.
What's he doing out here?
Oh, you found Bruno.
It's so funny.
For a second, I thought he was the cannibal murderer.
Oh, my God.
He has a knife.
Maybe he's just opening packages.
Come here.
Come here, big boy.
Run, Max.
Nothing to eat here.
I'm so creamy and chewy.
Quick.
Can cannibals climb?
Well, they're not called climbable, so that's good.
Is he still there?
We'll know in a second, because they're screaming with an earshot of a hungry people eater.
You are surrounded!
Think for yourself, I'm technically under house arrest in Connecticut.
