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That's best of you. Hi, it's Andy here.
Welcome to Radio Headspace.
It's a Friday morning. I don't know if you ever have a situation in your life where you want to have a conversation with someone, but it's not an easy conversation.
Maybe it's your partner, could be a parent, child, maybe someone at work.
But there's a conversation that kind of needs to be had, but it's just difficult to kind of get into it.
And very often in these situations, one person has one opinion.
Perhaps we have another opinion.
And so part of our fear or trepidation is knowing that we're not necessarily going to agree.
Because if we're going to agree with the person, then there's no real fear.
We have no hesitation at beginning those conversations.
And he was chatting to a friend the other day.
And he was chatting with his partner about the potential of moving to a different place, different city, maybe even different country.
And anyway, they were having this conversation.
I should point out, by the way, as my friends always do to me, this isn't my friend, like this was me at home and my wife, we weren't having this conversation.
This actually was my friend.
Anyway, he was at home having this conversation.
And he said it was really difficult to navigate because he had a very strong feeling and a very strong opinion about it.
And he couldn't really imagine changing that opinion, equally he knew that his partner, that they had a very strong opinion.
So how do you go into a conversation like that with a genuine sense of openness and curiosity wanting to explore the subject?
Whilst knowing that you don't really want to change your mind.
I feel like that happens actually a lot more in life than we might necessarily realize.
So I think it is a skill. And some people naturally seem to have that ability.
They're not necessarily fixed to a particular outcome in conversations and in life.
And others kind of really struggle with that.
When I think about sort of my teachers in the past in meditation, those people who seem to have done a lot of practice definitely seem a lot more fluid in their thinking and in their approach to those types of difficult conversations.
They may still have a very definite outcome like a preference that they would like, but there's still in the spirit of the conversation.
There is a sense of exploration.
And I feel like that's the thing to kind of focus on when you go into those conversations.
For a moment, we put down our preference and we actually explore it.
Not through the lens of I want to get to this particular answer.
I want this particular outcome.
I want this person to agree with me.
We actually explore it and we explore it through the lens of fresh eyes.
We're not bringing our own preferences, our own story with it.
We're trying to understand it with the other person.
And hopefully they're coming to it in the same spirit or it doesn't always happen.
And I feel even introducing that as an idea at the beginning of those conversations can sometimes be really valuable.
Just so both people are starting at the same place.
The idea, okay, let's explore this from all the different angles and then see where we feel.
You know, see where we end up.
See how we feel afterwards.
I don't know how that conversation ended.
I got the impression that maybe it had been less of an exploration and more of an exchange of views, but I suspect over time that exploration will kind of happen.
And I think it's such a valuable skill, such a valuable tool for all of us to learn.
I know it's something that I could definitely do more of in my personal life.
And I think it's something that all of us can find a way of bringing into our lives again, whether it's at home, whether it's at work or wherever else we might find ourselves.
Apart from anything else, when we are able to put down our preset beliefs, opinions, and desires, we'll connect with people in a different way.
We're closer to those around us.
And even if not always we're able to come to a place of mutual agreement, we can at least leave with the satisfaction knowing that we've created the space where two people, maybe more, can share their ideas, can explore different ways of looking at it.
So if you've had a conversation in your mind that you've put on the back burner that you've not been wanting to have, that you've been putting off in some way, maybe now's the time to have it.
Going into it with a curious mind, setting it up like that with the other person, and trying to explore the situation.
In a healthier, also a spacious way.
Whatever the case, I hope you have a good day today, you have a great weekend ahead.
I look forward to seeing you back here on Monday.
And as always, thanks for listening.
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