I've got a show to recommend that I genuinely think you and your kids are going to love.
It's called Lightcatchers, a brand new award-winning cinematic audio adventure from the team behind Batman, High Volume and Story Pirates.
If your house is into pinna favorites like Grim Grimmer, Grimmest or Hero Hotel, this is absolutely your next play.
Stick around for a preview at the end of this episode.
Then search Lightcatchers wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz.
I'm an author.
I'm also a storyteller.
I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales.
You may think you know grim fairy tales, and you may think that they are sweet and boring.
But listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions of the grim tales.
The original grim fairy tales aren't like that at all.
They're weird and sometimes gross and often scary.
In other words, they're grim.
And I'm about to walk into a classroom and tell one of the original grim, grim tales to a bunch of kids.
Do you want to join me?
Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale?
Let me help you decide.
On a scale of grim, grimmer, and grimmest, the story I'm going to tell today is grimmer.
It is a little scary, a little gross, and it has some serious suspense.
If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do.
You could turn down the volume and count to five.
Then turn the volume back up.
If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, just turn the volume down and count to five again.
You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for.
You know what you need.
Okay, I'm at the classroom door now.
There are kids inside, waiting to hear a grim fairy tale.
So, are you coming in?
Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest.
This story is called Little Chick.
Once upon a time, a newborn baby was stolen out of his crib by an eagle and taken to the eagle's nest.
Why did the eagle steal the baby?
We don't know.
Some people think the eagle thought that the baby was food.
Some people think that the eagle wanted to raise the baby as its own.
We don't know the real answer because eagles can't talk.
So asking it a question like why did you carry off that baby?
Would be stupid, because it would just say caw and we wouldn't know what it was talking about.
Any ideas why you think the eagle carried the baby away?
Because he probably thought it was a branch.
A branch?
Oh, maybe.
Breakfast time.
Breakfast time.
He needed a babysitter.
I like that.
Well, the eagle didn't eat the baby or raise him as her own.
The eagle left the baby in her nest, flew away, and never came back.
The next morning, a woodcutter was walking in the forest.
He heard a baby crying way up high in a tree.
He climbed the tree and found the baby boy.
The woodcutter said, What are you doing up here, little chick?
He called the baby Little Chick because Chick is the name for a baby bird.
The baby said, The woodcutter didn't know what the baby was talking about.
But the woodcutter carried the baby down the tree, took him home, and named him Little Chick.
The woodcutter also had a baby girl who was just the same age as Little Chick.
Her name was Lenshin.
Everywhere Lenshin went, Little Chick went.
And everywhere Little Chick went, Lenshin went.
They were best friends.
Also living in the house with the woodcutter and the two children, was a mean old cook and her grown son, whom she called Big Boy.
Old Cook did not like Lentron very much, but for some reason she hated Little Chick.
Little Chick, Little Chick.
She would grumble as she worked.
Little Chicks are made for stews.
No one took the old cook seriously when she said this, but maybe they should have.
For one day, when the woodcutter was out deep in the forest, Lention saw the old cook chuckling to herself and chopping a pile of turnips as her son put kindling under a huge pot of water.
Lention approached the old cook and asked, What are you doing with that pot?
Come closer and I'll tell you, replied the old cook.
So Lention came closer.
Old cook whispered, If I tell you what the pot is for...
Do you promise not to tell?
Okay, I have a question for you guys.
If an adult makes you promise to keep a secret, should you keep it or should you tell somebody?
It depends on what they tell you.
Okay, explain.
What do you mean it depends on what they tell you?
If they tell you, like, I'm going to kill him, it's like, I would probably tell someone.
But if they were like, mint chocolate chips with your ice cream flavor, I would tell them.
You wouldn't, okay.
I would tell them either way because What if they're lying?
Oh, yeah.
So you think if they ask you to keep a secret, it's probably bad news no matter what?
Yeah.
You agree?
Yeah.
Because there's no point in it when Dave would tell you a secret.
But if it was super bad, I wouldn't go around screaming, Daddy!
So I'm just doing it.
I'll pretend I'm keeping a secret.
Then when she's not looking, I would tell her.
Ah, very smart.
Because then she would just say Okay, well then, I'm going to have to make you not do this and like, make you not talk.
So I totally agree with you guys.
If an adult asks you to promise to keep a secret, they're probably up to no good, unless it's like a surprise party or a birthday present.
Don't spoil a surprise party.
But if it's a weird secret or makes you feel weird, definitely tell another adult.
So here is a weird secret.
The old cook whispered to Lenten.
Finally found a pot big enough to boil little chicken.
Once the water is hot enough, my son will grab him and throw him in.
After all, little chicks are made for stews.
See what I mean?
Boiling a child in a stew is like the definition of up to no good, right?
Well, Lenshin wanted to tell her father what the old cook had said, but her father was deep in the forest chopping wood and he would not return until after dark.
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So Lenshin hurried over to Little Chick and said to him If you never leave me, I will never leave you.
Immediately, Little Chick replied, I will never leave you.
So Lenshin said, Then I will tell you a secret.
Old Cook is making a stew to boil you in.
Run away with me.
Little Chick thought for a moment, and then he said, I will run away, but you cannot come with me.
If she catches me, she will kill me.
But if she catches us both, she will kill us both.
Lenshin said, You promised to never leave me.
But... And I promised to never leave you.
So we are going together.
Well, little chick couldn't argue with that.
So the two children snuck behind the house, and when they got to the woods, they began to run.
But the cook's son, Big Boy, saw them go.
And he ran and told his mother.
Mother, the children are running away into the forest.
Quick, go after them.
If they find their father, they'll tell him my secret.
He'll drown me in the lake.
Go!
So Big Boy went running after the children.
At first, Little Chick and Lenshin were far in the distance.
But Big Boy's legs were longer than theirs.
And he drew closer and closer.
Is this a buddy park over there?
Maybe.
Lenshin looked over her shoulder and saw him coming.
If you never leave me, she said, I'll never leave you.
I will never leave you.
Then quickly, turn into a rose bush, and I will be a rose on that bush.
What?
Yeah, and the little chick said, What are you talking about?
Turn into a rose bush?
I'm a kid.
Kids don't just go turning into rose bushes.
Or rather, he probably should have said that.
What he actually said was Little Chick turned into a rose, bush and Lenshin turned into a rose.
On that, bush.
Does anyone have a question about this?
No?
Good, we'll continue.
When Big Boy came to the place where he last saw the children, all he saw was a bush with a single rose on it.
So he went home again.
Mother!
Mother!
I saw the kids, but then they disappeared.
All I could find was a rose bush with a single rose on it.
You potato head! shouted the old cook.
Little Chick was the bush.
And Lenshin was the rose on that bush.
Go back and tear them up.
Meanwhile, Little Chick and Lenshin had turned back into themselves, and they continued on.
But they hadn't gone much further when they saw Big Boy running after them with a furious look on his face.
Lenshin turned to Little Chick and said, If you never leave me, I'll never leave you.
I will never leave you.
Then quick, turn into a church, and I will be a steeple on that church.
And Chick said, what is this, some kind of surreal bedtime story?
A Salvador Dali painting?
People can't just turn into bushes and churches.
Get yourself together, Lenton.
Actually, he didn't say that.
What he said was, okay.
So little Chick turned into a church, and Lenton turned into a steeple on that church.
Any questions?
No questions!
When Big Boy came to the place where he'd last seen the children, all he saw was a church with a very pretty steeple on it.
So he went home again.
He told his mother what had happened.
You guys.
She shouted, Um, any questions?
No questions!
The old cook said, The old cook ran into the forest herself.
Meanwhile, Little Chick and Lenshin had turned back into themselves and continued on.
But they hadn't gone very far when they saw the old cook barreling towards them through the woods.
Lenshin turned to Little Chick.
If you never leave me, I'll never leave you.
And he said, Why do you keep questioning my loyalty?
I've turned into a bush and a church for you.
Somehow entirely contrary to laws of physics or logic and a great risk to the listerous.
Suspension of disbelief.
And you still ask me to make this redundant promise.
Yeah, he didn't say that at all.
He said, I will never leave you.
And she said, So turn into a pond and I will be a duck on that pond.
So he did and she did.
When the old cook came to the place where she had last seen Lenshin and Little Chick, all she found was a pond with a duck swimming on it.
But the old cook was more clever than her son.
She knew what the children had done.
The old cook knelt beside the pond and she put her face to the water and she drank and drank and drank the water up.
But as she was drinking, the duck swam over to her and grabbed her by the nose with its beak and dragged her to the bottom of the pond.
And the old cook drowned.
Then Little Chick and Lenten took back in themselves.
But since the cook had drunk some of the pond up, Little Chick now only had nine toes.
Also, presumably the old cook was somehow inside of him, right?
Because she drowned inside of the pond.
I guess.
Honestly, I don't know how this whole thing works.
Lenchen and Little Chick went home.
When Big Boy saw them coming and saw that his mother was nowhere to be seen, Big Boy became afraid and he ran away and never came back.
Later that night the woodcutter did come back, and he and Lenchen and Little Chick all lived happily ever after.
The end.
How did he end up with nine toes exactly?
How did he end up with nine toes?
Why did he only have nine toes?
Oh, yeah.
And then someone drained his toes.
She drank his toes, right?
The old cook drank his toes.
I got that right on each foot.
Oh, not on each foot.
That would be weird.
Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Pinna Original Production.
Created and written by me, Adam Gidwitz.
Author of A Tale Dark and Grim.
Produced and edited by Ilana Milner.
Casting and voice direction by Paula Gammon-Wilson.
Sound design and mixing by Beat Street NYC.
Location recording by Jason Gambrell and Evan Viola.
Narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz.
Special thanks to the staff and students at Brooklyn Friends School and Manhattan Country School.
You guys are amazing.
Far away on the high Caribbean seas roams a swashbuckling pigeon-loving, burrito-gobbling pirate who's well a bit different than the other pirates.
Bless my Brussels sprouts!
Introducing the new podcast Lightcatchers, Season 1, Bob the Bad Pirate.
Bob the Bad Pirate wasn't bad because he liked to hurt people or call other pirates' names like Petunia Pillow Pants.
Bob the Bad Pirate was bad because he just wasn't very good at being a pirate.
Give her me tutors!
Listen now to Lightcatchers, wherever you get your podcasts, and learn more at BeALightcatcher.com.
Light up the lanterns and follow me.
Patrick, let's go.
The clue is floating away in a hot air balloon.
I just need my detective's notebook.
Hey, sorry, this is kind of a bad time.
Claire and I just found a major clue and now it's airborne.
Long story.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know that the parents behind Law and Order have something brand new for families.
Our podcast, Patrick Picklebottom Everyday Mysteries.
It's full of wild mysteries, surprising clues, quirky characters and big adventures hiding in small places.
Claire and I are solving a new mystery every episode and we'd love your help.
Seriously, we can't crack these cases without you.
Patrick, it's heading towards the water tower.
Gotta go.
Listen on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts.
And bring snacks.
Okay, I'm going.
