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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
And let me tell you, it did. I've been listening to it while I walk, and I am absolutely loving it.
I I love Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen.
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Hey weirdos, I'm Alayna. I'm Ash. And this is A Little Morbid Called Listener Stories. brought to you by you for you from you and all about you it's all about you we love ya ¶¶
Thank you. We do. We love you. Even if you hate listener stories, we love you.
I love all of you. I love all of you. Even if you're mad that I said Naperville, I love you.
Fucking Naperville. I'm never going there.
It's okay. I don't think they want to stay after we've mispronounced it.
Our photo on like on those pictures that are like, have you seen this woman?
And it's going to be like in Harry Potter when like Sirius Black is like, ah.
Yeah, and it's going to be us screaming in these animated photos.
Yes. I bet that was a really gross noise for you all to listen to, and I'm pretty sorry about it.
But you know what? The visual that you all have in your head was correct.
I'm sorry about it. Yeah, it was great. Thanks.
Sorry? Not sorry. Sorry, not sorry. That's the 2020 anthem.
I'm saying. You know Sadie Saxton from Awkward, how she's like, you're welcome.
Yeah, actually, one of the listeners asked us, they were like, you guys say that a lot is that why or am i yeah like that's where we do it that was 100 where we In fact, my best friend's little sister, we referred to her as LB because of that show.
Little bitch. Little bitch. Anyways, we've digressed a lot here.
We want to talk to you guys about coming out to one of our motherfucking shows.
Dude. it it's gonna be awesome we want to see your faces we do all of them i want to tell you jokes i want you to see my fancy pants up close guys the fanciest pants I have only one pair of fancy pants for the New York show, so I should probably get like six other pairs of fancy pants.
Because we've talked up these fancy pants, too.
I'm going to need to get some fancy pants because we're going to Alabama.
We're coming for you, Alabama Huntsville.
Alabama, baby. That's right. Roll Tide, I think.
Roll Tide? Sure. I think. I don't know anything.
I feel like all the girls from Bama say Roll Tide.
Let's say it. Roll Tide, Alabama. Football. foots and balls let's do it okay well if you do want to hear more about our live shows uh you can go on to our website and that is www.morbid.com nope that is www.morbidpodcast.com Yes, and I just put all the live shows.
I'm going to be adding them as they come because, you know, there'll be more.
So, I'm adding them as they come on the homepage right under the part that says, hey weirdos, it's going to be right there.
I put links to each of the ticket sites.
Everything's right there. Go and do it. It shows all our shows.
It's all right there for you. It's all right there.
I'm making it easy for you. Easy breezy beautiful.
Hope that's not trademarked. It certainly is.
And while you're on our website, please go over and check out the merch that we have.
Yes. We have bought certain art from our morbid listeners.
So if you if there's like the shirt that's on there right now with Elena and Mia's cartoons holding knives.
Yes. We'll shout her out in a later episode.
But somebody like made that for us. Yeah.
And we loved it so much that we were like, hey, can we have this?
Yeah. So if you send us art and we really, I mean, we love all the art we got, but if we really fucking love it, we might buy it from you.
And put it on a shirt. Keep sending the art because we love sharing everybody's designs and getting everybody's art out there because it's awesome.
You guys are super talented. Yeah. And we're going to put it on a shirt and then you can buy it.
We're going to do it. It's lit. So yeah, check out our merch.
And then after you bought some of our merch, go over to Murder Apparel and buy some of their merch. because we love murder apparel guys and you do too you guys love them yeah it's true we've seen it we know you love them we heard you telling someone in the locker room okay wow i love that where did that come from karen it came from within that was like a mean girls moment it was i loved it well if you do need to go over to murder apparel and you're like omg how do i do that You go to Instagram, click the link in their bio.
It's MurderApparel.com. I'm pretty sure.
They have a whole morbid section. I think we do that a lot.
I think we go Mervin. It's really hard not to sometimes.
This podcast is now being renamed to Mervin.
Mervin. It's Mervin. And if you do end up buying something, which we hope you will, and we're pretty sure you will, use promo code MORBID for 20% off on Murder Apparel.
And then post a photo and tag us and Murder Apparel in it because we love to see your faces.
We do. We just love it. Also, I think that's it.
Yeah. I think we are ready to dive into listener...
I'm about to dive in Every fucking time You're welcome Do you want to go first or do you want me to or should we rock, paper, scissor, shoot?
Do you want to rock, paper, scissor, shoot on the air?
Yes, we're going to rock, paper, scissor, shoot right now.
Roe, sham, bow. I only put one finger out.
You put one finger out and I put nothing out.
I just put one finger out. I just breathed into the microphone.
Is it because I said Rochambeau? Yeah, it stressed me out a little.
It's the same game. I don't love it. Okay.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Snip. You should have known what I was going to do.
I know, I did. Because I put one finger on it instead of two.
This went awry. It went awry from the get-go.
Also, everyone that's listening right now is like, shut the fuck up and tell me a listener story.
So Ash won. She got scissors and I did paper, so.
And my first listener tale is called My Ghost Brother Listener Tale.
And I laughed in the car while reading this.
Love it. It says, hey, guys. And it says it just like that.
Hey. So this is the story of my brother's creepy ass ghost.
This happened about two to three years ago and it still crosses my mind pretty regularly because it's so fucking weird to me.
Everyone I've told this story to just seems to think I'm a little nuts but I'll let you be the judge.
I bet you're not. My boyfriend Trey and I were the only ones in the house.
We were laying on the couch together watching one of our shows and we both fell asleep around 3 a.m., Ooh.
Always. Every time. Every time. Every time.
I woke up. Trey was still asleep, but now my brother Richie was standing next to me near the armrest of the couch.
Richie lived with my dad at the time, about 20 minutes from my townhouse.
It wasn't unusual for him to randomly come over, though.
He knew my door was always open to him. He was standing about a foot away from me and he was almost translucent like a ghost.
He told me, Jen, I need to talk to you. I was racing my friend on the highway today and I crashed I died tonight I want to come to tell you myself before you had to find out another way i figured it would be less painful for you this way please just know i'm okay take care of dad this is gonna fuck him up and then he disappeared Oh, my God.
I'm getting, you know, those waves of chills.
That's what I got, too. My whole body just keeps chilling and chilling and chilling.
Your body is straight icing. I'm chilling right now.
I'm fucking chill as fuck, but like not chill. this is my second time reading it and I just got chills again I really did this is not just like hyperbolic of us like we're really I felt chills no we got affected by this shit So just for background, Richie was either 20 or 21 at the time, and I was 25, 26.
He's one of my absolute favorite people on the planet, so I was hysterical.
I immediately started bawling my eyes out like I was on my knees on the floor doing that terrible loud sobbing cry you pretty much only see in the movies.
Oh my god, you poor thing. I woke up Trey and told him what happened between my hysterical sobs Trey kept telling me it was just a dream but I'm almost always aware of when I'm dreaming and I knew this wasn't a dream also if it was a dream i would have actually woken up after seeing this ghost right i didn't so at this point i'm convinced my brother died and just came and told me I tried to call Richie, but he didn't answer, which freaked me out more.
Trey reminded me that it was 3 AM and normal people sleep during that hour.
Trey and I are night owls. Definitely stay up until 4 to 6 a.m. normally.
Jesus Christ, 6 a.m.? Damn. You guys are wildin'.
You are. But Trey finally was able to calm me down.
He didn't totally convince me that it was a dream, but he assumed that...
But he assured me that Richie would call me back in a couple hours and I'd realize I was just being silly.
So I let myself believe him for at least a while and I eventually did hear back from my brother when he woke up that morning. what so Richie was alive and okay and pretty much said I was just a nutbag but I still don't believe it was a dream if it wasn't a dream I'm not sure what it actually was but I still can't convince myself that it was a dream.
I can't get over the fact that I didn't wake up after seeing my brother's ghost.
But if it actually was a ghost, why did he look and sound exactly like my alive brother?
Was he trying to fuck with you? Yeah, maybe.
That gave me a chill. Is this a prankster ghost?
Because it's not a funny prank. Well, it could be like a...
Like a mean ghost. Like a diamond. A diamond.
Could be a diamond. So around this same time, my dad actually had a similar incident at his own house where i'd say the two things happen within the same year or so that's what makes this even weirder i totally believe in the supernatural but my dad is more skeptical skeptical I was about to say skeptical.
He's more skeptical than the most of us.
Like, okay, Ashley. Ew, I just called myself Ashley.
Gross. Okay, Ashley. That's how I know I'm in trouble.
I was just in trouble with myself. I'm very skeptical of you, Ashley.
Okay, stop. My name's Ash. Anyways, so if he's claiming to see or hear something weird, I tend to believe it.
Anyway, he was in his basement during mid-afternoon on a weekday.
It's not like a creepy basement, it's a nice finished basement with couches, a TV, a poker table, etc., etc.
So not like my basement. Or mine. Dad was sitting at the table when he heard footsteps upstairs and eventually my brother walked down.
My brother and my dad looked at each other and then Richie just walked back upstairs.
I can't remember if they actually spoke during this exchange, but I don't feel like that's super relevant.
The whole thing was weird because, again, this was mid-afternoon on a weekday and my brother works a Monday through Friday 9 to 5 job.
So he should have been at work. So my dad was a little freaked out and actually called Richie's phone to confirm he was there.
Richie answered and said he was at work.
And my dad was basically like, no, dude, you were just down the stairs a minute ago.
I just saw you. And Richie was like, uh, no, I'm not home.
I told you I'm at work. I've heard of these kind of things happening before.
It's like a glitch in the Matrix. Oh, that's it.
I feel like that scares me more than a ghost.
This seems like it's like one of those glitch in the matrix situations where somebody will see someone who's very much alive. yeah in a situation and then the person's not there like i don't like that oh This is like when we talked about the Mandela effect the other day.
Yeah, it'll fuck you up. It fucked me up for days.
I'm not okay. It puts you way inside yourself.
Because I love my life so much it has to be real. it's a simulation fuck you anyways i just said you i said that to you so angrily anyways Then during this phone call, in an attempt to seem less crazy, my dad actually described what my brother Was wearing and when he saw him standing on when he saw him standing on the stairs, he's like I just saw you you were wearing black shorts and a red hat and And now my brother was freaked out too because my dad just described the exact outfit that my brother was actually wearing.
They hadn't seen each other at all that day, so how could my dad possibly know exactly what he was wearing?
My dad just saw my ghost brother too. But in my dad's version, Richie wasn't translucent at all.
He just looked like his normal self standing there. both events are super fucking creepy to me and even if you want to say my incident was a dream how do you explain my dad seeing my brother standing on the stairs at home while he's actually at work and my dad describing the exact outfit my brother was actually wearing. that day when they hadn't seen each other i don't get it but it's scary as fuck why do we keep seeing my brother's ghost when he's still alive Because it's a glitch in the matrix.
I think Alina might have just answered your question.
And I hate that she did because it freaks me out a lot.
But I think she might have. i just blew the lid right off of this i just blew the lid right off of it so was her brother like did her brother die in like another matrix it's just like a glitch in the system like it's like whoops he's here but wait he's at work but he told her that he died in a car accident i know it's just a fucked up glitch in the matrix i'm telling you Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and t-shirts.
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I don't understand the Matrix. I don't understand glitches, but it happens.
I don't like to think that that's real. It probably is, but I don't like to think about it.
Yeah, that fucked me up. You should say that thing about that movie.
That thing about that movie? How it doesn't exist, but everyone's seen it.
Oh, that's the Mandela effect. Everybody knows this whole like Mandela effect that you are positive that you saw something or you know something exists and then the whole rest of the world proves you wrong.
So it's so creepy. I'm I've seen other people know this and I know this to be true as well.
That Sinbad starred in a movie called Shazam about a genie.
And I know it happened. I can see it in my brain.
I can see the cassette tape cover. I know he did. but it's like he's already like it's people say it's not true Yeah.
Isn't that also like the hello Clarice thing?
Like doesn't isn't it true that Hannibal Lecter never said that?
Yeah, I think he says like, I think he says hello, Agent Starling.
Yeah. And people are like, hello, Clarice.
And it never happened. He never actually says that.
Or like you'll see like certain packaging and you'll know that that was packaging at a time in your life and it won't.
Like everybody will be like, no, that's not like the Bernstein bears and the Bernstein bears.
They're the Bernstein bears. But everybody's like, no, they're the Bernstein.
But now you look at it and the man is telling us that it's the Bernstein bears and I just don't believe it.
But didn't somebody find a copy of a book that was the Bernstein Bears?
I did see that, but who's to tell? I think it was on Reddit.
Yeah, maybe they just put it together. Who knows?
But either way, we've gone down a hole. And also, I feel like now that we talked about this, like the matrix heads are going to the men in black are going to come.
And I'm really nervous. you know those matrix heads man this shit freaks me out they're coming at you Well, let's go on to another listener story that's entitled, Ma'am, Whom's to the Fuck is Fred?,
OK, so I also read I got together all the listener stories this week and I read this one and I was like, Elena, you have to read this because this one is so funny in the way you read. like you're going to be like cry laughing I'm really excited you're going to read this really well this is by a listener named Cass And it says, Hey, Ash.
Hey, Elena. Hey. Hey. Thank you. That was a nice way of putting that.
You're both super intelligent, funny, and stunning. wow girl thank you man you just gave me all the feels she won us over i needed it Anyway, into this wild ass morning brew scented nightmare of a story.
Whoa. So I live in the middle of fucking nowhere.
I mean that there is exactly one grocery store in my town and it's only there because the next town is a half hour away.
I work in the next town anyway. Pretty dumb of me because I'm gonna get straight murdered the nights I work.
But anyways, I have an amazing job at Starbucks.
Oh, my God. I used to work at Starbucks.
That's also why I gave you the story. Yes.
Barista power. So we have this 16-year-old we hired, and we'll call her V.
So V is really nice, and because she's in high school and I work nights, we're often on the same shifts.
So this shit starts with a chair. Some same ass chair.
Every time I push the chair into the table and as soon as I go back behind the counter, this bitch ass chunk of wood is scraping on the floor.
I walk out and see that it is pulled all the way fucking out and facing backwards.
So I'm like, hey. What the hell. But I go back to work because I'm a hardworking independent bitch and I don't fear these spirits.
It says parentheses lie. So then V is checking the perimeter and making sure no one is in the store. when we close up and she can't go to the she can't get the bathroom door open so i come over trying to open it i'm pounding on the door asking if anyone is inside Our boss, Kay, walks out and the door flings open.
Kay asks us what we're flowing- what we're flowing.
What we're throwing a fit for. And I'm just like looking at the door.
So the night ends with nothing more than a couple of decorations shifting around. next day me and Kay are working together the drink printer wigs out and is printing repeating drink stickers that just say Fred Fred Fred Fred Fred All the way down them, question mark.
And I'm like, okay, fuck you, Fred, you ghostly hoe.
I'm obsessed. You ghostly hoe. And I unplugged the printer.
Good call on that, you ghostly hoe. That's what happens when you can't mobile order at Starbucks.
They're being poulter. they're just having something that's just like fred fred k looks at me and says talking about spirits give them power we don't bring this up That night, me and V are vibing making whipped creams.
I used to love making whipped creams. Starbucks has the best fucking whipped cream on this planet in this major. matrix it's got like vanilla syrup in it it's really good it's so good a crash in the lobby and v laughs maybe it's my childhood ghost and i chuckle and i'm like oh yeah Because...
I don't fuck with ghosts, but I'm trying to be brave.
She says, yeah, I was haunted all through my childhood.
His name is Fred. Oh, fuck. Honey, that's not a casual statement.
I love that she's just like, oh yeah, I was haunted my whole damn childhood.
Cool. Same, but not by a ghost. So his name is Fred.
That was hilarious. I'm like, okay, what the fuck? what the fuck what the fuck but I'm like maintaining my demeanor and I just laugh and that's when shit goes haywire I walked around the corner and every single fucking cupboard is open.
Dude that's the shit that I hate. Like in Paranormal Activity, in the sixth sense, when he's just sitting there with his hands on the table and all the cabinets are open and he's like sweating.
Oh, I hate it so much. i'm getting full bod chills all right so i'm about to cry and i'm like you're not funny you're really not funny and she swears it's not her then i hear footsteps on the fucking roof oh no my heart is like pounding and so i'm trying to claim I'm trying to claim wind while closing the cupboards.
I go to see that turned around chair from the beginning and all eight chairs at the tables are pulled out and facing the same direction.
Something shatters behind us and we flip around and this glass pumpkin decoration is on the floor.
I see this and go and grab a broom. You know what?
Good for you for still being like, we got to close up.
I would run out of the store and lock the door behind me.
That's employee of the month shit right there.
She's like, I got to clean up. She better have gotten employee of the month. v gets off and clocks the hell out she works shorter hours because of high school i'd be like yo bitch this is your ghost right why are you leaving me seriously this is your childhood shit B, I just referred to you as a nice girl earlier, but like you're leaving me with your childhood ghost.
You're being real mean right now. Not cool.
Not cool. I almost said Z. I would have called her Z. I would have been like, you know what, Z?
You're Z now. And I walk her out because I'm a good co-worker who makes sure people get to their cars safe.
That is nice. That is really nice. And now it's just me and Kay.
And she's in the back. So I'm sure she's out there.
So I'm sure out here just boogieing with a ghost.
So like, who's the one who's actually unsafe?
Question mark. So I walk back behind the counter and guess what the shelves are doing?
Oh no, what are the shelves doing? At this point, I'm sure it's like a shitty dream and then the pounding of the windows starts.
What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?
So there's pounding on all the windows and I'm standing there and I catch a shadow in my peripherals but can't see anything.
And when Kay runs out, it all just stops.
She quit the next day and nothing ever happened again.
But it's odd how adamant she was about the ghost that followed V because V still works there and it stopped when K left. what so anyways i hope she's doing well thank you guys for always being amazing with the podcast and thank you for reading this you rock Bye.
Wait, so K was haunted by the ghost, not V?
Well, I guess V had a childhood ghost that was like, I think. right that's what i thought too yeah why did it leave why did it stop on k left let's see Let's look back.
Let's look back. I'm like, fuck you, Fred, you ghostly hoe.
Oh, no, it was. Oh, no. Yeah, it says that night me and V are vibing making whipped creams.
Crash in the lobby and V laughs. Maybe it's my childhood ghost.
So it was V, but I think maybe she thinks that K was haunted by V's childhood ghost, maybe? maybe it moved on to K maybe there's some paranormal activity shit remember I never saw that they passed the ghost on Oh, almost like it follows.
Or the diamond. I don't know which one it is.
That fucked me up. Yeah, that shit is real.
But holy shit, Cass. Wow, Cass. That's a Starbucks story for the ages.
That is a Starbucks story. That's a barista tale right there.
Oof. Damn. All right. Well, my next one is called Listener Story.
He likes you. He does. He loves you. I just know it.
He loves me. He loves me not. That was a great dream song from the early aughts.
Oh, okay. So this one says, hey guys, I love your podcast so much and I'm finding myself constantly waiting or wanting to listen to it. even though I have a hard time sleeping at night because of how scared and paranoid I am now.
LOL. Mom and my boyfriend yell at me for listening because I get so spooked, but I think it's great to know these cases because it's also made me more aware.
Yes. Yes, I love hearing that. I've bought a stun gun and pepper spray to have some kind of defense with me, so no one better fuck with me.
Get it. Yes, girl. Get it. Anywho, I have a story I want to share with y'all because it is big spooky and it makes me sweat when I think of it.
It is big spooky? It is big spooky. Feel free to share my name and info.
This is from Emily. I always wait until they say it for me to say their name.
I'm always worried I'm going to say it first.
So here's the story. So I go to a family friend to get my hair done, and I love her and her family dearly.
She has a son, Sam, who was five at the time of this event.
And he is so sweet and happy all the time.
I was at their house one day getting my hair done and my hairstylist asked if I could stay after she was finished with my hair to watch Sam while she ran a few errands.
I said, absolutely. And we hung up for a couple hours while mom was out and about.
We were in his room playing with cars on the floor, having a grand old time until all of a sudden I hear a knock from under us on the floor.
As if someone was knocking on the ceiling under us.
It was pretty distinct. And I was like, huh, that's weird.
This is when it gets fucked up. Then I looked at Sam and he was staring back at me wide-eyed and then shouted, help me, help me, help me.
No, no, I'm out. I'm out. See you later.
Then jumped under his covers on his bed.
I was like, help you help me. What the fuck?
So I realized I was the adult here and tried to calm Sam down.
He finally relaxed and I decided we would not stay in his room.
So we went to the living room and started watching cartoons.
Oh, no. Yeah. Seems weird. but maybe either way mom finally comes home and I couldn't get out of that house fast enough a few weeks later I hesitantly texted my hairstylist mentioning what happened that day afraid she would think I was crazy But instead she says, oh boy, I think he likes you.
Aww. We've had a discussion. This sounds like scary stories to tell in the dark.
Yeah, it does. We've had a discussion since then and she says that the things have happened to her in their house before, but nothing bad has happened so she doesn't mind.
I really don't know how you come to terms with that but she has and I'm forever spooked thanks for reading guys best Emily no Well, then I'm confused.
Does she mean like he likes you like the spirit likes her?
I think that's what she was saying. The kid likes her.
I think that's what she was saying. Either way I'm afraid.
I mean it could be the kid but either way I don't love any of that.
I hate it all. The knocking on the ceiling underneath her, that freaked me out.
Yeah, I don't like that at all. Real simple, but real fucked.
Yeah, because if somebody knocked on the ceiling right now, I would shoot through the roof.
You're like, I would shit my pants. I'm like, I would shoot through the roof.
I thought we were headed toward the same place.
But we diverged in the woods. We're like, yep, yep.
Yeah, absolutely. No, not at all. Not at all.
Wrong. The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties, I would like to address you all.
Legal proceedings have been initiated. Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption, and magic.
Binge all episodes of The Mystic and the Mare exclusively and ad-free right now on Wondery+.
Start your free trial in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or the Wondery app.
Alright, so my next one is Listener Tales from Australia.
We love Australia! Listener tales from a land down under.
That actually reminds me, if you have not seen our Instagram post that has a bunch of... of the places you can donate to help Australia out because of the crazy ass bushfires that are, I mean, demolishing the every everything there i mean wildlife people homes everything koalas oh the koalas and kangaroos stuff are like killing me it's all the wildlife it's And actually, I need to update that to add some more wildlife stuff because there's a ton more.
But if you want to have a way to help...
Go to our Instagram. I made a post about it and I'll be editing to add more to it.
But go help out our beautiful Australian. lovelies because they deserve it and they need it and we want to help them so 100 we love you australia So, this one's called That Time I Got Kidnapped and Tried to Kill the Guy.
Awesome. I already love this. This is by Alyssa.
Hey, you beautiful pair of magical unicorns.
Wow, hello. Love you. She wins. I love you.
I know everyone says this, but fuck it. I'm going to say it again.
You guys rock. So do you, Alyssa. Thank you for being you and birthing this Balls to the Walls fantastic podcast and the Facebook group.
I finally found my people. Oh, I love that.
Shout out to the spooky sisters. That's right.
Oh my god, I want people to call us that from now on.
Oh my god, it says a few girls from the Facebook group have made a group chat and we talk all day every day.
I love that. I'm obsessed with this. That just made my whole year.
I love that so much. Oh my God. 2020, that just made it. my name is ali and i'm from australia good day you can use my name if you decide that this story is bonkers enough to read we did we decided My story goes like this.
It starts off slow, but the good bit is at the end.
Me and my boyfriend at the time, now my husband.
Congrats. We're traveling from Cambodia to Vietnam on a bus overnight.
We arrive in Ho Chi Minh City. If I said that wrong, I'm sorry.
I don't think anyone will yell at me. I think it's just Naperville at around 3 to 4 a.m. we hop off the bus and go sit down to have a smoke and get our bearings after being on a sleeper bus for hours worst decision in hindsight pay the fucking money and fly you can thank me later Next minute, the human version of a clogged toilet rides up to us on a motorbike.
In this fake ass fuck leather jacket, dirty blue jeans, and goddamn thongs.
Flip flops? Question mark? And says that we have drugs and he is Taurus police.
To which I look at Wanker dead in the face and say, mate, if we had drugs, we would have taken them already. hell yeah we get up and start to walk away in the direction we think our hotel is in in reality it was the opposite fucking way to which we were walking we so we were doomed from the beginning Oh, fuck this.
My husband at this point is shitted off to the max and turns to the shit stain of a human and says, if you're tourist police, show me your badge.
The turd nugget reaches into his jacket and pulls out his tiny business card with scribbles all over it, but nothing to identify him as police.
So in an attempt to get this guy to fuck off, my husband confident as hell says, that badge is as fake as your jacket.
Next minute. Call them out 2020. I love it.
This is where it gets wild. So hold on to those butts.
The douche nozzle reaches out of his knockoff poo-colored jacket and pulls out a gun. and says this isn't being from Australia I have zero experience with guns and a lot of people asked me if it was real or not like hell I wasn't going to find the fuck out It could have been a water pistol for all I know, but it looked real as fuck to me.
We both immediately freeze and are like, whoa, okay, shit just got real.
Can you imagine being in this situation right now?
So we end up walking around the corner with this dumpster fire.
And he makes my husband sit down on the ground with our backpacks, with our clothes, and luckily our passports inside.
He made me stand next to him and put all our valuables into one shoulder bag I was carrying.
Phones, laptops, tablets, loads, cameras.
He then points the gun at me and tells me to get on the bike and trying to be a bad bitch confident. and not wanting to show my husband that I was shitting my pants on the inside I say why the fuck would I go with you Good for you.
To which this monster replied before shifting the gun from me to my husband, because I will shoot him.
I don't care. He means nothing. whoa dude that's so scary this is making me stressed like real bad i'm just thinking of being in this situation no fuck that this sounds like a movie So, of course, me and my husband are trying to telepathically communicate to each other whether we will just jump this motherfucker and beat the living shit out of him or I just get on the bike. and in the interest of protecting him i got on the bike and said what i thought would be my final words to him I love you.
Oh my God. Oh my God. My heart just fell into my toes and then it rolled away on the floor and fell out the window.
He better like buy you bacon. At every breakfast.
And with that, we were gone. Oh, my God.
You're on the bike. You're on the bike, Allie.
I'm stressed out. Oh, my God. I'm wicked stressed out.
You don't know where you're going. You don't. and now it's just me and this piece of wet lettuce okay i fucking love that like is that an australia thing or is that just like it seems like we've gotten a few australians that have used wet lettuce i love that i gotta tell you I love it.
And she said the human version of a clogged toilet.
Yeah, that's another one. Australia is really good at insults.
I think this is why Australians like get us a lot.
I think so too. Because we get you. We get you.
We love a creative insult. We're on the same wavelength.
Yeah. We really are. We love you. So it's just me and this piece of wet lettuce flying the wrong way through traffic.
All the wrong way? And my mind is racing.
I figured I had two options. One, jump off the bike into traffic, possibly die, or if I don't, he finds me.
I take this motherfucker with me. I went with option two.
Yes, you motherfucking bad bitch. you know that commercial where it's like everyone has a squad and it has like and they're all walking in slow motion Oh, do I know that song?
Because that's the song that I listened to on the way to our live show and you were making fun of me.
No, I'm just thinking that I see Allie just walk into that song at a like a burning building and then in the back Diplo and like French Montana are like step up in the party step up in the party I can just see you Allie right now Oh man.
We on fire. So I grabbed the back of the motorbike and start throwing my body side to side, trying to put the bike off balance.
Because I'll be damned if this piece of literal garbage is going to take me without a fight.
He realized what I was doing and turns and asked me, anyone know you're here?
Will anyone look for you? uh yeah a lot of people i'm really popular i screamed yes i have a son i'm the daughter of a politician i'm not but what the fuck did he know people know I'm here they will look for me I honestly didn't think that would work after watching listening reading so much true crime but I threw it all to the wall to see what stuck And something worked.
The daughter of a politician thing was brilliant.
Yeah, that's really smart. But something worked.
He pulled off down a tiny little alley and told me to get off the bike.
I did and still to this day do not know why I didn't punch that slimy little maggot square in his little squishy face.
He then told me to give him the bag of valuables to which I told him to fuck off.
His reply was to point the gun at my head, so I gave in and gave him the bag.
He then told me he would meet me back at my hotel and took off.
What? Yes, of course. down this dark alley but by the time i got to the end he was long gone luckily i had a disney moment when i got to the end and was blinded by white light servo with at least 10 taxi cars and 20 taxi bikes I ran up screaming and crying saying I was just robbed and kidnapped I have no money I have no idea where I was I was my first time in vietnam too i need to find my husband one young taxi driver turns to another older one and says white girl crazy Then the older one comes up and offers to take me to my hotel, which I had no idea where it was or the name.
All I could say was bus stop. When we got there, I
All I could hear was my husband running up and down the street, screaming my name, followed by, where are you?
Oh my God, my heart just palpitated. I literally want to cry.
This is love. i swear you could have mistaken me for superman the way i flew off the back of that bike i jumped off screaming i'm here He ran into the street and we saw each other again and like the scene from the notebook, we flew into each other's arms.
I am sobbing, Ali. I am sobbing. We flew home the next day.
I haven't been back to Vietnam since, but I'm determined to go back and conquer it.
Yes. Allie, you are my New Year's resolution.
What is your New Year's resolution? Allie.
That's it. I would never want to go back.
I give you so much credit. So that's my crazy story.
Hopefully it's bananas enough to read because honestly if I heard either of you amazing humans read it I would die a happy weirdo. don't die don't die i love you i love you so all ladies hope you enjoyed my wild ride and i hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you travel overseas and get kidnapped by the human plague.
Bye. Oh my goodness, Allie. Allie. The human version of a clogged toilet.
And what was the last one? The human plague.
The human plague. I love it. She's everything.
I love you. And you and your husband's love is just beautiful.
It's beautiful. It's inspiring. inspiring and i love it so much and i love that's that you are part of the spooky sisters and you guys chat that just that's the cutest thing ever i love you ally i love you So my next one is called Listener Stories, a collection of weird, freaky shit.
That sounds like my autobiography. I know.
Me too. Also. Me too. Also. Why did I say that?
Also, why did I say it twice? Not real sure.
It's late. alright so this says warning what you are about to read may make no sense as when I wrote this I was running on two hours of sleep and was going into work at 4am I love that bless your soul Hey guys, my name is Adriana or Annie or whatever floats your boats.
You can use my name. Like everyone else, I just want to say that I absolutely love y'all.
I feel like I can relate to you both so much. have listened to every episode while i'm working and yes i have most definitely paused at the what the fuck moments and talked about it with whoever is next to me at the time i love that my co-workers probably hate me This may be long and all over the place, but I'm not sure as I have only gotten this far.
So I've never killed anyone or been murdered.
Good for you, man. That's a win-win. You know what?
You're living that life right now. But I've had a lot of paranormal shit happen to me and my family.
Let's jump in this bitch. Let's do it. After my mom remarried to a piece of shit, we moved into this nice house and I think this is when it all started for me.
Girl, I've been there. One night I had just gotten to bed when all of a sudden my door was cracked open and someone in an old man's voice told me goodnight.
That's good. I'd just be like, good night.
She said, that's good and dandy. But like my ex-stepdad wasn't the kind of person who would tell me good night.
My mom, well, last time I checked she didn't have an old manly voice.
Plus, I had never heard this voice before.
One day, I was... Just say goodnight, girl.
Just be like, goodnight. I'd be like, nighty-night.
Bye-bye. Sleep tight. Get out of my house.
One day I was putting on my school uniform and all of a sudden I heard a, nope, fuck that, a little girl laughing and it was coming from the corner of my room.
I legit she said she said I legit told her to shut up.
That's so mean. It's so amazing. Shut up.
Shut up. I can't even remember if that worked or not.
I love that the little girl was like, mean.
And just like... You're rude. Rude. You're stinky.
She said I can't remember if that worked or not.
Shut up. My mom even had something happen to her in this house.
My ex-shitbag stepdad. I love that. How much you hate this man because I feel that.
I hate him too. I hate him. My buddy sucks.
Yeah. She thought we came home. And so she went down to see us.
And while you guessed it, we weren't there.
Shortly after moving in this house, we had to move again because stepdad was in the Air Force.
We got stationed in England and my mom refused to stay on base.
Can't blame her. Most off-base housing is so old that kind of didn't help.
I remember this one neighborhood we lived in was new market.
This was again something that happened to my mom, but this house gave me the creeps the whole time.
I always felt like I was being watched. Anyway, my mom was having coffee with our neighbor.
Her two boys and my little brother were outside playing and the rest of us were at school.
So basically no one should be upstairs, right?
Well, all of a sudden they just started hearing someone running around upstairs.
My mom checked and clearly no one was there.
Oh no. Then, after four years, we got stationed in Sumter, South Carolina.
Vomit. I don't recommend going there. We didn't say it.
I didn't say it. You can edit it out if you want to.
We lived there for a good few years so my older sister and I explored sometimes.
We went to this old abandoned firehouse.
Shit was creepy and didn't feel good. I wish I could find a name of the place or the address but it's been years it's covered by trees and way off the road I also don't talk to my sister anymore so there's no way to figure it out I'm sorry obviously I took a piece of the place with me because apparently why the fuck not my mom found it and flip and flipped shit wrapped it and burns wrapped it burned sage around it and buried it i think that's smart i do too i still make fun of her about it but she swears i brought something into the house this house already felt off to me so i didn't notice Now it's time for the fun one and one that is kind of famous.
In a town near Sumter, there is an old church.
It is called Salem Black River Presbyterian Church. fun fact they filmed a movie there before and my old english teacher from middle school was in it back to the spook spook she's like fuck that the english teacher was in it anyway she's like that's cool though So if y'all never heard of this church, basically it was built back in 1802.
It's apparently haunted, especially... especially the graveyard where in the back past another fence the ministers of the church are buried. feel free to look more into this church because it's history is just wow yeah i love that shit i know i do too but we decided to go in one night just my sister her friend and i Ooh.
Ooh. My sister was a genius, went beyond the second fence where they have the ministers buried.
A feeling of grief came over me. We left just a tad bit freaked out.
Then, because we thought it would be cool, we took my friend with us.
Ooh. That's never good. No. We all screamed and almost wrecked the car.
And then he just disappeared as if out of thin air.
After we got home, we did some looking into it, and other people saw this same dog as well.
One last thing that is kind of cool, but also ew, Oh!
She finally said yes to going on a date with him, but never went on a second one because she said he was weird and asked a lot of questions.
That's why David Berkowitz was nobody you wanted to go on a date with.
That's crazy. Gross. Obviously later she saw what he did and we were all so glad she didn't continue that relationship.
Plus, my grandpa's pretty amazing. It's like high five, grandma.
Thank you guys for reading my long ass mess of an email.
I love you both. and i mean feel free to come to columbia south carolina for a live show oh my god that was great that was amazing That was spook, spook AF.
I legit told her to shut up was my favorite part.
I told her to shut up. I just legit told her to shut up.
You're like, you didn't say goodnight, but at least you told the girl to shut up.
Yeah, there you go. I love it. That was amazing.
All right. My next one is called Listener Story.
I was either abducted or I'm crazy. IDK.
I'm both. All right. Actually, I was never abducted.
I'm just crazy. She's crazy. So this is from Jenna.
Hey, Jenna. Hey, ladies. I'm new to the podcast and I'm currently binging all your episodes. you thanks jenna my best friend turned me on to your podcast so shout out to brie love you bitch i love you too brie And she also gave me a push to finally tell my story because it's pretty fucking creepy.
I apologize in advance for the length, but there are details to the story that are important to paint the picture, so strap in for the story that sounds straight out of an alien movie.
We love an alien movie. I'm here for it.
In 2014, I was living in a small one bedroom apartment with my now ex-girlfriend. our apartment was one of those apartments that are built into a house so our landlord lives beneath us oh I've had one of those Yes, it's just as annoying as you're imagining.
And there are stairs that lead up to our apartment from the outside.
Our apartment was seriously so small that you could stand in the center of the kitchen when the first walked in and see every point of the apartment in a 360 spin.
This is important to remember. Promise we are getting there.
It started with these three baby owls that we had noticed.
Oh, I love baby owls. were perched in a tall tree that were right outside our bedroom window.
Every night before bed, we would open the windows and whoo, back and forth to them.
Do you know that if you hear an owl hoo after midnight, it's a bad omen?
Oh, I hate that. That bums me out. Well, this is cute because they would hoo back and forth to them and loves that they hoo'd back.
That's cute. Owls are my favorite and they are just so damn cute.
So at this time, this was just the best thing in my life.
But this is important because there are studies saying that aliens are somehow connected to owls.
I didn't know that. I had a lot of crazy and scary dreams in that apartment.
But I started having very very realistic dreams for a whole week.
It was dreams of these tall dark... tall dark beings for a whole uh standing over me sorry i can't read guys It was dreams of these tall, dark beings standing over me or in the doorway of my bedroom in the center of my apartment where you can see every point of the unit.
I know I wasn't sleep paralysis because I could move and I have had sleep paralysis before and it 100% was not it.
Finally, one night, I had a dream that these beings finally asked me to come with them.
We got in my car and they literally just drove me around wasting my gas. questions wasting my gas about my life who I was how old I was if this was where I was born things like that Might I note that the entire time I cannot see facial features, so they were just dark beings.
Like what the fuck? Why are you guys this creepy?
Were you answering their questions? Yeah, I was born in this stuff.
Dreams, of course, seem so short. But by the time I had arrived back at the apartment in this dream, quote unquote.
The sun was starting to come up. I walk in my apartment and bam, I am being shaken by my ex standing in that very centered spot of our apartment.
I am shaking, sweating, crying, and cold as if I had been outside in the Michigan weather all night where I lived at the time.
Did she get probed? I couldn't sleep the rest of the night so she stayed up with me and I would be lying if I didn't think some men in black fuckers were about to bust in my apartment and steal me and just erase your memory oh my god i foreshadowed without meaning to you did later that day i go to my mom's house because i am just so spooked out that i guess my five foot tall mom could keep me safe from aliens or in black haha she can but really tammy my mom is a badass and would probably make an alien run away for like like a little bitch I take a shower at her house and come out to the kitchen in a towel, still talking about the crazy experience when she points out that I have this marking.
No, I know this sounds so fucking fake, but I swear it is not on my left shoulder. it is two rows of five dots perfectly placed on my shoulder within a few hours the marking is gone sweetie you got probed You 100% got probed.
I regret to inform you that you were studied.
You got probed. Can somebody make a meme of us telling her that she got probed?
You got probed! Not a meme, like a drawing. my god this is amazing you've been proved after this experience i swear my life has never been the same Has it been good, though?
So many crazy life things have happened since that night that might or might not be related. a few months after this i left my girlfriend because i found out she cheated on me fuck her sad but fuck you lol that's what she said and then moved on to a completely different state a little more background on me i am a very sensitive person i'm very sensitive to the paranormal And have lots of crazy experiences.
But this is probably the creepiest thing that has happened to me.
Hope you enjoyed this story, and again, so sorry for the length.
Now I'm going to go back to catching up on all your episodes.
Keep it spooky, girls. Jen That was a really good one.
Holy shit, Jen. Jen. You got probed. You got probed.
I regret to inform you that you got probed.
That's insane. That's fucked. I love these.
And you know what? Some people... Like some people I've seen comment on the listener stories and be like, most of them are probably fake.
And you know what? One. I don't agree. I disagree.
So, poo-poo to you. And even if they are your great storytellers.
I was just going to say, and even if they were fake.
These are great stories. You don't like a fake movie?
But to be honest, I don't believe that 99% of these I think are real.
People are very like 100 percent. I believe you.
I believe you. I really do. OK, so I believe you got probed.
I was trying to think of a song that I could sing.
Did you see my face moving? All of a sudden now she's just like, I went into like a distant land.
I have ADD. Come back. Come back to me. Come back to me, child.
I was doing something when I was reading that story and I saw you looking at me do it.
I don't know what I was doing. And I saw you and I immediately stopped.
I'm like a small child that gets reprimanded.
Because I'm constantly being like, Ash, stop touching that.
Stop playing with that. But that was amazing.
And this was a fun listener's tales episode.
I love listener stories. I love when we end on an alien abduction.
Yes. That's fun. Perfect. So we hope you guys dug that and look forward to Robert Ben Rhodes being released.
Released. Released. Released. Still will be released on Sunday night.
Yes. So stay tuned for that. You know what?
It's going to be fun for me because I don't know that case.
Yeah. that's gonna be exciting and it's a really crazy case is it nollie it's real nollie all right well I have to drive to Annie's house, which is an hour away.
So I can listen to palate cleansers, but you don't get to.
Just kidding. Totally kidding. That sounded so mean.
But Annie doesn't want to do palate cleansers anymore because some people didn't like them.
Yeah. A lot of people got mad at us for them.
So. Yeah. We're not going to do them. I mean, we're not.
I'm going to be real. We're not listening to like the haters because when people say they don't like something, we're not like, oh, we'll stop. yeah no no no like don't worry about that it's just it doesn't really work with the flow anymore and we know what we think that you're so hardcore that you can listen to the whole podcast and not need a palate cleanser.
Maybe if we do a case where it's like the most brutal maybe we'll like figure maybe one of us will do a palate cleanser or something but like we're not gonna make them a regular thing maybe i could like sing you a song there you go Nobody wants that.
You don't need it. Well, we're going to end the episode now.
We will see you when it's time for Ben Rhodes.
And in the meantime, you can go ahead and follow us on Instagram. at morbid podcast hit us up on twitter at a morbid podcast write us a listener tale and please send it to our gmail with the headline listener tales morbid podcast at gmail.com terms and conditions apply i'm just kidding i felt like i was talking um also join the facebook group uh morbid cool in a true crime podcast facebook group go do it it's a beautiful thing and you can maybe you can be part of a spooky girls that's what i was gonna say right yeah do it i want to be part of a girls group chat that's just me texting you yeah pretty much i hit something um What haven't I said?
Go on the website. Yep, I told you to do that in the beginning.
Go do that. Go find our tour dates and click the links and buy some tickets and do it.
And we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird.
But that's weird that you get probed by aliens because that's really fucked up and you don't want to have all those markings on your shoulder because that definitely tells a sign of something really scary.
But also keep it so weird that you actually do tell a ghost to shut up because that's pretty funny.
Don't keep it so weird that your fucking brother gets a ghost.
That's like maybe not a ghost. Maybe it's a glitch in the matrix.
You don't really know what it is, but you know that he came down the stairs and you know that he told you he was in your apartment and that's really fucked up.
Don't keep it so weird that when you go to Starbucks, you see Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred.
And don't keep it so weird that the little boy likes you when he's knocking on the ceiling, knock, knock, knock, and your hairstylist It's like, oh, I got to do your hair.
But you're like, I don't want to come because that little boy is going to knock, knock, knock, knock, knock on the ceiling.
And then also don't keep it so weird that you're Allie the War Queen who fucking escaped her own kidnapper.
We love you so much. Bye. Bye. If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
