Hey weirdos, it's Ash here, ready to share a little secret.
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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
And let me tell you, it did. I've been listening to it while I walk and I am absolutely loving it.
I love all the different narrators. I love Audible.
There's more to imagine when you listen.
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I am absolutely obsessed with a sweet treat after dinner.
And my favorite sweet treat right now is my mochi.
It's Mine, not yours. Just kidding. You can have some too.
This is a cool, creamy scoop of ice cream. wrapped in a soft, chewy dough.
It's like a sweet little ice cream dumpling or ravioli.
I'm obsessed. It's pillowy. It's satisfying.
I feel indulged. I just love it so much.
I really am obsessed with the strawberry flavor right now.
My mochi is only around 70 calories per piece, which like, hello, that's amazing.
My mochi is gluten free and each box has six perfectly portioned mochi snacks.
Do I eat two a night? Yeah. Yeah, I do because they're that good.
And guess what? My mochi is the number one mochi ice cream in the US of A.
The strawberry flavor is bursting with fresh picked fruit flavor that tastes incredibly refreshing.
I love, love, love them after dinner this August.
Look for the purple box of My Mochi ice cream at your local grocery store. and feel joyfully chill with the coolest treat around, my mochi.
Hey weirdos, I am Ash. And I'm Alayna. And this is Mormon.
It got like increasingly weirder. It got real weird real fast.
I can't do it. 🎵 Thank you. All slap happy.
Yes, we are. It's been a very long day. We are recording after... an unsuccessful attempt at getting my kids to go to sleep.
And I think we're secure now. So I think able to actually record okay let's hope if you hear anybody going One more hug.
That's Lena's kids. Every time we try to leave the room, it was like, I have to tell you something.
My bed's not pretty enough. I have to move this stuffed animal over here.
And I was like, well, I need to go record an episode.
That's exactly how she sounded. Meanwhile, I was like, I love you.
What kind of cake pop do you want tomorrow?
Yay. One more hug. One more kiss. Well, luckily today is a May listener tales.
Yay. It's that time again. It feels like it's been 100,000 years.
I don't know why. I know it really does.
It always does. It does. It does. It do.
I'm dealing with my headphones right now, which just continue to cut in and out and in and out.
So you just hear like... I hear like, it's like when you're sick and your voice is like outside of yourself. oh you know yeah that's weird well because we have like we got the headphones going We got the headphones going.
Got the headphones going up in there. oh boy you're here with us and we love you for that better be So let's dive into these listener tales because we found some good ones, I think.
Lots of murder. Lots of murder. Lots of...
Lots of LL Cool J? Lots of LL Cool J, yes.
Which is interesting. Lots of super creeps.
Let's do this. You want to go first? Yeah, I'll go first.
Can we just go down the line? Cool. We just go down the line, please.
Sometimes you go out of order and then I'm like, wait, which one did we already read?
Sometimes I feel like I want to go out of order, okay?
Okay, you know what? You go out of order, Ben.
You do you. You go ahead. No, I'll start with the first one.
All right. All right. So this one is called...
Spree-killing axe murderer? Friendly ghost?
What's the difference? I don't know. Let's see.
So it says, hey, weirdos, I ask that you don't use my name.
So we won't. So instead, you can refer to me as Kat.
Hi, Kat. Meow. Meow. the family's name in the following story has also been changed thank you i appreciate that But the names of the victims and aforementioned axe murder have stayed. because they deserve to have their story told, and he probably deserves whatever is said about him.
100. I will attach some links of this story as well, but the following is the probably still too long abridged version.
John Morgan was a man that lived near my small hometown in West Virginia.
In November 1897, John visited the... Shit, I don't know how to say that name.
I'm going to look it up. Hold on. Fold, please.
It's probably the P is silent. I think it is too, but I'm going to make sure.
Because respect. R-E-S-P-S-N-T. Fost. Told you.
Fost. It's Fost. We looked it up. We listened to somebody say it several times.
It's post. So... John visited the Faust Green home where Mrs. Faust Green and her three children lived.
John had lived with the family at one point.
It was said that Mrs. Faust Green treated him like a son.
At the time of his visit, John had learned that the family was due to receive money from the sale of a horse owned no i say hey we were just talking about horses not good not good nay nay nay nay not good On the morning of November 3rd, 1897,
John went out with James Green to feed the hogs.
Never go out with someone to feed the hogs.
I always feel like it ends... Never. Never, ever.
Don't do it. At which point, he attacked and killed him with an axe.
Wow. That's a lot. He then returned to the home where he killed Matilda Fost.
Then turned on Alice, folks. No, not Matilda and Alice.
No, like what? Come on. Striking her in the head with the axe.
Thinking she was dead, he then went after Mrs. Fostgreen.
Meanwhile, Alice fled from the home bleeding profusely from her head wound and managed to get help at a neighbor's house.
Imagine flooding. Imagine flooding. Imagine fleeing a home without...
An axe wound? With an axe wound in your skull?
Literally. What a bad bitch. Wow, Alice.
John Morgan was quickly arrested, good, and confessed to the murders.
On December 16, 1897, he was publicly hung drawing a massive crowd.
Remember those times? So he was just killing them over the horse?
Yeah, he just wanted that horse money. That's stupid.
She's killing people over nay-nay money.
That's ridiculous. Gallows has been confirmed to now be the site of the local high school football field.
Seems problematic. The same field where I graduated high school.
Wow. That town is serious. Shortly after Morgan's execution, public hangings were outlawed in West Virginia. making John Morgan even more infamous in my area.
What a distinguished title to have for the last public hangings.
Now comes my connection to this axe murder.
I'm waiting for it. When I was growing up, my family was very close with another family that I will call the Smiths.
That was very creative to the point. Wow.
To the point where Mr. and Mrs. Smith were basically bonus grandparents to me.
Okay, I love that. I'm obsessed. I love that.
And it makes sense. It does. Smiths is definitely a grandparent.
It was Brad Pitt and Angelina were your surrogate grandparents.
I love that. I think that was my history teacher's name in like sophomore year.
Probably. I was always told that the Smith's house was haunted, but didn't know the backstory until I was much older.
This is when I learned that the property where the Smiths lived was formerly the home of John Morgan, and he was the ghost which so many people had encountered.
Uh-oh. Bro. One such encounter occurred when Mr. Smith's son brought his... the same Mr. and Mrs. Smiths, but I corrected it.
I love that you corrected yourself. I was like, no, it's Mr. Smiths.
Mr. Smith's son brought his girlfriend over.
They were sitting in the kitchen when she suddenly became very cold despite the fact that she was sitting directly over the heating vent.
You know what that When she told Mr. Smith's son this, he firmly said, John, stop it.
As soon as he said this, the girlfriend was suddenly warm again.
I love that an axe murderer just listens to Mr. Smith being like, Johnny...
Cut that out. And I just love that. That's what I say to John all the time.
John... Stop it. Yeah, I've heard it. And he stops making it cold.
So when I was still a toddler, my family visited the Smith home one night.
At some point during the night, my mother realized that I was missing and went looking for me.
Alrighty then. Well, shit. Why were you missing?
But it's a happy ending that she realized you were missing, so that's good.
She found me standing in the laundry room staring and waving at someone. awesome we're in the laundry room but i was completely alone in the room I would hope that after that he would have noped right the hell out of there, but I'm pretty sure we stayed the night at the home.
Cool. Although the Smiths have always been very important people in my life, I've never felt comfortable in their home.
Part of that may just be that they're an older couple who apparently don't believe in turning on lights in the home, so the rooms are constantly filled with shadows that play tricks. on your eyes sounds like my house the house also stays eerily quiet and any sounds you might hear are constantly praying tricks on your Praying forks.
Praying forks. What's happening? Praying forks.
It's been a long day. That was really funny.
My mouth is just like not meeting. Your mouth is playing tricks.
It's playing tricks. Because it's not meeting what my brain is doing.
It's just like a little, it's a step behind.
That sounded how your youngest would have said it.
And I'm tapping my brain while I do it. I'm like, my brain up here.
This one... Like I'm looking at Ash being like, you know, my brain.
Can confirm. I'm like, oh, it's not in your butt.
No, it's not. So yeah, so the sounds you hear are constantly playing tricks on your brain.
Did the house just settle or was that an unknown someone on the stairs?
Oh, I hate that game. Anyway, anytime that I visit now, I politely try to stay outside as much as possible.
Despite the gruesome nature of the murders and how uncomfortable the house makes me, None of the encounters with John's ghosts have been negative.
In fact, by all accounts by the Smiths family, John is very friendly and even protective of them.
Weird. Not sure how one goes from spree killing to Casper the friendly ghost, but to each their own, I guess.
Maybe it's not jaunt. Maybe it's not. I don't think it is.
I don't think it is. But if they believe it is and they want to believe that, go for it.
Well, maybe he was reformed in the afterlife.
Maybe. There you go. Maybe he took a class.
I don't know. Yeah. Maybe he just like did community service.
That would make a really great TV show. It would.
Community service on The Good Place. Yeah, exactly. all right well at least you know we we were there yeah hi we have the same thought as michael schur So I apologize for the length of this story.
You don't need to. But I thought you ladies might find it interesting.
We did. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you murder a family with an axe over horse money.
And then become a friendly ghost that scared off girlfriends and plays with children in the laundry room.
All my love, Cat. Meow. I'm so glad that you also did that.
I'm also so glad that this next one is off. motherfucking pdf oh we love a pdf this one is called Listener tale.
The time I bought a hitchhiker a burger and he saved me from being murdered. okay that sounds like an adventure okay okay You know those photos sitting in your phone, the ones that make you smile every time you scroll past them?
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Hi, ladies. My name is Jennifer and I love your podcast and the story that you girls have.
The banter that brings us all into the story with you.
Just wanted to say I found your podcast about six months ago. and I've honestly already finished every episode.
I work from home full time and it's a great distraction from, well, My husband, my kids, my dogs, and then, of course, all the work that I should be doing around my house, but I don't want to do.
So... Thank you. Wow, we feel that. I feel that so hard and I'm happy that I can be your escape.
I'm begging you to be my escape. Oh my God.
That's literally, I like stopped myself from singing that every now and then I'll just stop myself from singing.
You don't need to. I know. Everyone tells me not to.
Never stop yourself. Also Reliant K. Yeah.
TBT to when one of them responded to me on Twitter and I lost my absolute fucking mind.
Anyways, I have been thinking about sending this story for a while, but I wasn't sure it fit, as it's not nearly as terrifying as some of the stories you read, but it has permanently been embedded in my brain and gives me nightmares to this day.
You know those moments where nothing bad happened, but for some reason, you know it's only sheer luck that it didn't?
Yeah. Yeah. So here is my moment that still sits with me eight years later.
To give some background, I'm a veteran. Hello, thank you.
I spent a lot of time on the road driving from my duty station in Florida back to Texas where my family was.
I joined at 17 and road trips have always given me a sense of freedom and independence.
I feel that way too. I love driving. However, I was not always the smartest road tripper.
Why is this word hard? I love that you wrote road tripper.
And I love that my brain didn't see that at all.
They literally wrote road tripper. It is hard.
I love that my brain was just like, it's not hard.
You know that. I had a tendency to pick up hitchhikers on my way, always thinking I was smart like a dumbass 17 year old would.
By telling the hitchhikers to put their bags in my trunk, they couldn't be wearing any jackets or heavy hoodies to hide murder gear.
Yeah, I was clearly a brainiac. Yeah. I love it.
I love that you were trying though. You were trying to make it as safe as possible.
Yeah, you gave it a good effort. And you know what?
I feel like you're like... an empath so you're like i gotta help this person but i gotta help myself exactly you tried your best you're working with what you got My parents and sister would lecture me constantly, mine would have too, but my head was denser than an oak tree so I kept doing my thing.
How nothing happened to me, don't ask me.
No clue. By all accounts, I should be dead or someone's stuffed animal or new skin or something that's foul. how dare you no that's awesome i love you fast forward to many years later A marriage destroyed by booze and domestic violence that at one point led to my husband ripping the phone cord from the wall so my five-year-old son couldn't call 911. and me being drugged down the stairs by my hair. and running to a neighbor to get help.
I am so sorry that you went through that. jeez for you and your son oh my goodness after a long divorce court proceedings and feelings of hopelessness i was a divorced single mother of four boys working as a medical call uh coder i i don't know working as a medical coder in a small town in Nebraska.
Yeah. Okay. I was always filled with excitement for my trip.
The drive from my house to my parents was roughly 16 hours, and the boys and I would hook up DVD players and drive straight through for a long weekend every chance we could.
I love that. I know. My young mom brain clearly had more patients than my old mom brain because you couldn't pay me enough wine to do that now.
Okay, I'm glad they said that because I was like, that's really fun.
Love that. Yeah, that sounds like a fucking nightmare.
I don't want to do that at all. No, literally never.
You drove to Florida with the girls once.
Yeah, when they were two. Yeah. Two-year-old twins, fuck that.
Yeah. I'll never do that again. Not fuck... having two-year-old twins but fuck driving driving 24 hours with two two-year-old twins On one of our first trips down, we stopped in a small town in Kansas at a truck stop and saw an old gentleman outside who was looking for food and he rides south.
For a moment, the instinct to give this guy a ride as far south as I was going was strong, but looking at my sweet boy's faces, that I that was a risk I was not going to take.
I did, however, buy him a McDonald's meal and offered to book him a room at the Holiday Inn Express across the way.
Seriously. While he took the food, he declined the room, stating he was going to try and make it south.
I slipped him a 20 and hit the road not thinking another thing about it.
Again, an angel. I know. Yes, I know there are a lot of thoughts about giving people money, but it's my firm belief I would rather help someone who doesn't need it. than not help someone who does.
I agree with you. What a wonderful person you are.
People always are like, don't give people that much money.
And I'm like, shut up. Shut up. So on our way we went.
That's a great argument. It is. Shut up.
So on our way we had a great. We went. We had a great visit with my parents and headed home three days later.
Now to the moment. Driving north from Texas up to our home in Nebraska takes us up through Oklahoma and Kansas.
Just north of Oklahoma, we stop at Fort...
I messed up. We stopped for a late lunch and some fuel.
At the time, my boys are 12, 10, 9, and 6.
God fucking bless you. Wow. I'm not a mother at all, and God fucking bless you.
Oh, man. I salute you. I normally pay for gas at the pump, but for some reason, my card wasn't working, so I had to run in.
I found out later it was because the bank had stopped it as potential fraud since I never traveled.
DV isolation is real, so real that your bank gets confused when you leave the town you live in.
Oh, man. That's wild. Anywho, now don't hate me, but I left my boys in the car at the pump when I ran into Pei, telling them to keep all the doors locked and not open them. also i'm not gonna hate you because that takes like five seconds yeah so you have like a 12 year old in there yeah exactly then that will watch them So they chilled in the mom mobile dying and I ran inside.
They weren't dying. I'm dying. I feel like I slipped that in a little too casually.
No, I'm dying. Dying. You called it a mom-mobile.
Mobile, anyways. And I ran inside thinking I would grab them some snackies while I was in there because clearly caffeine and sugar was something that wasn't gonna make my life suck with 10 hours more to go.
What was I thinking? In the store there are maybe four people, plus the young lady working the counter.
With my hands full, I wait in line, keeping an eye on my van in the parking lot and not really thinking anything... thinking of anything other than the fact that I didn't like that I left the kids in the car.
While standing there, I get the feeling that someone was staring at you.
You know that kind of feeling where the eyes of someone are boring into your soul?
And if it's your significant other, you look up and grin, but if it's not, you kinda roll your shoulders and wonder why you have a booger on your face.
Or if you have a booger on your face. Yeah, that was me.
I look over my shoulder and see the older man standing too close for my personal space and look at him and give him a tight smile.
Kind of annoyed, but also just kind of like, geez, dude, I can't push the lady in front of me out of the way.
The guy doesn't smile back. He just keeps staring at me.
I hate that. I turn around and kind of shift back and forth getting kind of nervous but blowing it off.
The man was over six feet, muscular but not bulky, clean-shaven and kind of rough and tumble look but less scary or... but less scary biker, more cowboy?
I don't know how to explain it, but think John Wayne, but creepy, not haughty.
I love this description. I think I've got it.
I definitely do. As I stand there, I can still feel his eyes on me.
So it's my turn. I hop to the counter and pay. anxious to get my kids back on the road.
When I leave, I turn to give creepy, too-close-guy one last annoyed-as-fuck look with my eyehole eye holes and realized he wasn't at the counter or behind me.
Shrugging it off but disappointed he couldn't see my evil eyes, I head outside.
I walk to my van, unlock the doors and see that my kids haven't even looked up from their cartoon.
Tossing snacks into the passenger seat, I feel someone tap my shoulder and lose my shit.
I'm not kidding. This man startled me to the point where I dropped my iced tea and yelped like someone had stepped on my dog's paw.
When I finished peeing my pants, I realized it's the man who was standing behind me looks familiar, but was not the guy from the store.
What the fuck? I'd be like, who are you?
At this point, all that is running through my head is how the fuck did i find two creepers at the same gas station in bfe oklahoma um what is bfe Are we talking like... bum fuck east oklahoma but fuck anywhere oh no everywhere i don't know I don't know.
It's definitely bumfuck. When in doubt, it's bumfuck.
I know the following will be a bit unbelievable.
And thinking back, I can't even believe. the coincidence, but I will forever be thankful for it and a bit of kindness I was given back.
I look around and seeing plenty of people at this point at the pumps, I politely say, Okay, thanks.
I am sure the question was in my voice, but I had enough of this gas station.
It was planning. i don't know but she's fucking dying over here she just said okay thanks hello you need to get in your car and you need to drive and not stop till you get home or at a police station and she just looks around and is like Okay, thanks.
Okay, thanks. I have more questions. I have a question.
This is so funny. Oh, shit. I am sure the question was in my voice, but if But I had had enough of this gas station and was planning on doing exactly what he suggested anyway.
It wasn't until the guy smiled that I realized where I knew him from.
He was the gentleman I... that I had given food to a few days earlier who was trying to get further south.
I smiled and said something along the lines of, Oh, looks like you made it south.
I kid you not. This man looked at me deadpan and said, There is a guy in a rig who was in the store with you and is now sitting in his truck.
He pulled in after you, watched you get gas, followed you in and then he left before checking out and has been sitting in his truck just staring at you through the window.
His truck is fired up, but he isn't going anywhere.
I don't know what he's doing, but I know he was staring at us right now.
And I wasn't sure if you knew him or not, but just in case you needed to know.
Sure enough, I looked over my shoulder and there he sits just staring, the same guy from in the store.
Clearly, I do not know this guy. I'm freaked out and I have a mini bus of mini humans."
So I thank him and hit the road with the sole intent of not stopping until we get home.
As we drive, this truck gets on the road behind me and follows me onto the highway.
I have no idea how fast I drove 90 150 no clue.
Oh my god, I feel... feel stressed for her it says like joyride but with children but with babies yeah As quickly as possible.
With no option to call the police in service, even with Verizon on a large section of the northern Oklahoma and southern Kansas is not acceptable. assistance.
And what would I say? A hitchhiker I picked up three days ago just found me at the gas station and told me I was basically being stalked by a truck or Through Oklahoma?
Yeah, probably not. You know that movie Joyride, Officer?
It's kind of like happening to me right now, except I have kids.
So I just drove as fast as I could down that highway, mile by mile, putting that creepy truck as far behind us as we could. looking back every mile to see if I was making the distance spread.
Eventually, he was gone from my rearview mirror, but don't I don't think I dropped speed until we got home.
Clearly nothing happened. My boys and I are all fine, safe. happy healthy I don't know why I just said happy we're so happy we are happy healthy but road trips are different now A piece of that freedom was taken that day, and I now travel with protection and a wary eye of every vehicle around me.
For months, I had nightmares of getting home from an errand and seeing that truck parked in front of my house.
That is terrifying. empty with all my kids in our home.
When driving through Oklahoma and Kansas, I always keep my eyes on the trucks looking for the big yellow rig with the black stripes and thankful for that one time I bought a hitchhiker a burger and he paid me back with what could have been the life of myself and my boys.
Anyhow, thanks for listening to my moment.
Feel free to use my name and I can't wait until live shows are a real thing again.
I can't wait to meet you. You sound fucking awesome.
Jennifer. Jennifer, come to a live show.
Jennifer. That was and that was so well told.
Also, I feel like that guy was like, I feel like we all have like a little guardian angel.
And I think that he might have been one of your guardian angels.
Well, and you did something like selfless for him.
Karma. And it came back for you. I'm so glad that he made it south.
Thank you so much for that. I know. That was great.
I'm going to read a really short one and then I'll read a regular sized one just because this one's really short.
That's fine. So this one's called I Insulted a Murderer.
Don't do that. Don't do it. But this is actually do that.
This is why did I say don't do that? that do that well because don't do it to like their face if like they're not in chains or something yeah yeah yeah don't do it when you're in danger Yeah, no, no.
Sup, you beautiful beaches. Just doing some listener tales.
How about you? I didn't think that was going to get you.
Everything's getting me right now. Very punchy.
This is a short one so I'll jump right in.
I work in the ER in a small but popular tourist town in California.
And a few summers ago, a middle-aged white dude of fucking course lost his marbs and murdered his roommate.
In the afternoon on the front lawn of their residence on a fucking Sunday.
Get a grip, my dude. That's far too much.
Anyway, he was brought in to be medically cleared for incarceration, and as I bent down to put a name bracelet on him, he said my name and then said, pretty, I'll remember that.
I'd be like, go fuck yourself. And she wrote, fucking gross.
Cut to about a year later. I'm again working when that same murderer is brought in from the jail with some vague complaints that didn't require an ER. and I again go to give him a name bracelet.
Now, I had recently gotten into the habit habit of saying spank you or shanks in place of thank you or thanks because i'm obnoxious that way Well when I walked into the room he lifted his arm without me asking to make it easier for me to apply his bracelet.
And without thinking, I loudly looked him in the face and said, oh, shank you.
To a fucking convicted murderer. And he responded with, well, I haven't been yet, but when I get back to lock up, maybe.
Maybe. I turned bright red and exchanged an embarrassing look with the CO on the back. at the bedside and left the room.
I don't feel that bad considering he creeped me all the way out when I met him a year prior.
But what a poor time for me to be so fucking quirky.
Anyway. Love you ladies. That's really funny.
I love that one. Oh, Shank you. Oh, Shank you.
Awesome. And I love not yet, but maybe when I get back to lockup.
Right. Oh, that was a good one. I love that one.
Thank you, Kay, for that. You know what's even more stressful than a packed calendar?
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The sale ends 831. Don't miss it. So this one that I'm going to read is called... one time we escaped a kidnapping attempt and nobody believed us because we were apparently drama queens.
I feel like that would have happened to me at some point.
It definitely would have. Everybody thinks I'm a drama queen. no i'm not really that dramatic we don't think that Hi.
I'm writing with this. I'm writing with this, blissfully ignoring my melodramatic kids and their Minecraft drama.
Honestly, I don't know where they get it from.
Yeah. I've been binging on your podcast for the last six weeks and I'm making great headway.
For a second, I thought that said the last six years.
And I was like, well, you're a liar. That's not the truth.
Wow. I've been binging your podcast for the last six years.
I was like... no no not us no you have not ash is in like call about 2021 mode right now she's like liar Lied like a liar.
By the way, we turned three today. We did.
Merry Christmas. What an episode to put out on Earth.
We're really evolved for this one. Yeah, truly.
Oh, boy. All right. So I've been binging on your podcast for the last six weeks and I'm making great headway.
Who knew murder could be so much fun? Yay!
Oh, man. She put a period between that. That's why it broke.
I'm not great on small talk. Me either. Let's be friends.
I love small talk. So I'll just dive right in.
I grew up in North Wales, the UK one, not the one in the US.
Not the one in the US one. That's what she wrote.
The official name for the remoteness of where I live to is It was referred to as the arsehole of nowhere in Welsh.
You know, the kind of place that reeks of the famous five-style adventures, rolling fields, forests, and rivers.
The kind of place where seeing a person in the next village driving their new car was considered a hot topic for the whole fucking family.
This of course led to a bunch of kids with overactive imaginations.
You know, shit like an old radio we found in the forest was of course from a Nazi spy that hid in the forest, like, Fuck it was, but hey, whatever gets you through the day.
Shit like this would occupy us for a good couple of weeks digging up in the forest in search of bodily remains.
Iconic. Apart from the neighbors, pet dog, and a couple of cat-slash-rabbit skeletons, we never found fuck all of much interest.
I love you. I love how people talk every now and then we do some Mortal Kombat training and create a labyrinth of secret paths hidden behind hedges, etc.
Just in case. After all, preparation is key. just in case of what well let me fucking tell you tell me it was the summer holidays We would have rather been at the beach or a theme park or even just the shitty park in town with a broken roundabout and the boiling hot metal slide that would literally brand the back of your skinnily little kid legs oh yeah instead i was out with the only other girl on the street let's call her daisy Daisy was a couple of years younger than me, making her about eight and myself about ten at the time. give or take a year.
This was fucking yonks, yonks ago to be fair.
We'd been sent to collect flowers. You know that conversation.
We're bored. We'll go and collect flowers or something.
So we did. Of course, being the little shits we were, but also just in case, I sneaked mom's ma'ams.
Ma'ams. Ma'ams. Mam's big sewing scissors out with me.
Now I sew. I can totally see how that would have pissed my mom off.
And off we went down the winding country road down from our street.
If you watch British dramas, you know the type.
I do. I'm seeing it in my head. Just about wide enough for a tractor.
Yep. With huge hedges on either side. That's literally what I just pictured.
Yep. If two cars were to meet, then there would usually be a standoff between the drivers over who would reverse first.
There we were picking flowers, using Mem's scissors to cut the wild roses with Mem's precious sewing scissors and whatnot.
We were approximately 500 meters away from the first house of our street when a silver Volvo drove past with a man and a woman in it.
The man had a shitty mustache and the woman had a perm that should have been illegal.
And huge square glasses. Look up Deirdre Barlow, Coronation Street, mid-80s to get an idea of what we're talking about.
PRB heading to Google. Now I already had a keen interest in murder stories.
What can I say? Kid growing up in the arsehole of nowhere.
You get your kicks wherever you can. Oh, Jesus Christ, this woman looks awful.
Oh, no thank you. No thank you. Say no to that.
Sorry if you're a good person, Deirdre. I commented to Daisy that the man was so serial killer and we laughed.
Ha ha ha. Like we were so fucking cool. Well, what do you know?
The car only fucking turned round and came back down the road. and stopped about two car distance away from us.
Well, shit a brick! That took a turn we weren't expecting, and the woman got out of the fucking car.
I just remember muttering, for fuck's sake.
I love that she's 10. She's 10. For fuck's sake.
For fuck's sake. I love that. Like, this was something I was fed up of happening before.
And Daisy said, it's happening. like some mini zombie killer.
Deirdre Barlow started edging towards us.
I muttered to Daisy, run. The hedge. She sprinted off.
I did that. I did that twatty tooth bearing face that kids do when trying to be tough.
And flashed my ma'am's scissors before turning the run.
Oh my god, picturing that in my head. My brain just gave me everything.
And just flash the scissors. She's just like, fuck you.
I got scissors. I just made out. Uh, hold on.
I just made out Daisy's foot disappearing under one of our hedge holes.
I knew I didn't have time to scuffle through, so I ran a bit further down to the spot where the hedge was a bit decrepit and scrambled over.
My arms and legs shredded from the blackberry bush that just had to fucking be there.
As I fell to the ground on the other side, the car sped past.
We ended up having to scramble down a little rocky cliff Not a cliff, but not really a hill.
Our hearts racing, adrenaline absolutely fucking pumping.
It took us a while until we got to the field gate that was facing our street.
We got behind the hedge until we saw our neighbor coming outside, petrified to go any sooner in case they were waiting for us around the corner.
As soon as we saw her, we screamed her name and scaled the fence.
We didn't stop and ran straight to my house whilst she stared at us bewildered.
Stumbling through the door, I screamed for Mim, who saw the state of me and asked what the hell I had done to my new shorts and t-shirt priorities.
We relayed the story and she side-eyed us and said, bullshit.
I genuinely believe that we were lying so we wouldn't get in trouble for ruining our clothes.
I was livid, insisting it was all true. I got accused of being a drama queen and sent to bed.
Next day, my aunt and uncle happened to be visiting.
He was a copper. Mom brought up the tall tale and made me show the state of my arms and legs.
Anyway, My uncle asked me to give him details.
I told him about the silver Volvo, Deirdre Barlow, and her serial killer partner.
I had a gentle chat about wasting police time, blah, blah.
I stormed off in a huff again, got accused again of being a drama queen and refused to to speak about it again until a few weeks later.
I was in the field behind our house with Daisy.
We'd actually found a dead mouse and we're trying to revive it with CPR and some Vicks.
It didn't work. When my ma'am and her ma'am started telling us to get back in the house quickly, We walked as slow as possible back to the house while discussing what they could have possibly caught us out on.
There were quite a few options, but let's skip that.
I feel that we worked up an excuse for a couple of more serious possibilities and decided to wing the rest, but generally the plan was to blame our brothers.
I can just picture them like walking up to the house, like talking out of the side of their mouth.
And they're literally like, okay, so what you're here for. to say that we fed the cat this you're gonna say that thomas told us to For fuck's sake.
Arriving at the fence to our garden. I love how they're from Wales and I went full Boston with that.
I was like, for fuck's sake. That's what they sounded like.
They were like, FFS, motherfucker. Motherfucker's kid.
Go to Dunkin'. Arriving at the fence to our garden, I instantly said, we didn't do anything.
But ma'am and Auntie Daisy's ma'am looked shaken, and we could see my uncle policeman sat in the kitchen in his uniform.
My mind was racing. What the fuck had we done that would warn a police visit?
They ushered us into the kitchen. My uncle asked me to describe the car we'd seen that day.
I told him. Then he asked us if we recognized the people.
I kind of shrugged. He then showed me some pictures. about five different men and women and asked me if I recognized any of them.
Well, I only fucking picked them out, didn't I?
At that point, both mothers started crying and hugging us and apologizing profusely for not believing us.
Daisy and I were still confused as fuck.
Hell, they even said that they'd never doubt us again.
It turned out this was a known pedophile and his wife.
They'd attempted kidnapping another two girls similar in age to us about 30 minutes away. but were caught in the act by a passerby.
Wow. So yeah, was nice to be believed, PS, I'd rather you didn't use my name.
You can use any name you want, but not Karen.
I may be 40, but I'm not a Karen. And not Denise.
Sounds a bit too Dennis-y, doesn't it? Lots of love.
Peace out. I love you so much. I'm going to call you Harriet Gladys.
Oh, I wasn't expecting that. So thank you, Gladys.
Oh my god, I love you. That was amazing.
That was a really good story. Also, do we know if Deirdre Barlow or whoever it was is a bad person or a good person?
Please hold. Pause, please. Pause. Yeah, not a bad person.
Turns out she's a fictional character. Yeah.
So that's cool. yay that tale was awesome it really was my next one is listener tales maybe kind of sorter i reckon oh and yeet whatever that means i have the olds i'm 44 and i don't know what yeet is I have the olds.
Honestly, I have the olds at this point in my life.
I love you so much already. All right, it starts by saying, Lord knows I love me some of y'all. saying a lot because i'm one scary motherfucker and you're all some spooky ass bitches Someone scary motherfucker.
She's like, I love you guys, but I'm scary as shit.
I love you so much. My name is Rhondica.
The I is a short I sounds as in... The I is a short I sound, as in dick, not a long E sound, as in fleek.
So it's Rhondica. I love you so much. It's an unusual name, but I loves it.
I loves it too. My mom... I love you so much.
My mom's name was, I really hope I know.
Roger Netta? I think so. I really didn't want to fuck it up.
And she said that she wanted to name me after her.
We love a Gilmore Girls moment. Okay, my story isn't really spooky and I'm not sure that it will make the episode, but here goes.
I was inspired to share after the story of a listener shared her about her mom coming back as an owl I will never forget that story I love that story get some tissues you may need them oh no My mom gained her wings May of 2014 after a courageous battle with oral cancer.
Oh my god, I can't even imagine that. I'm sorry for your loss.
We're on, Dicka. My husband and I were blessed to have her live out her final days in our home, and she went on for her eternal rest with my brother and I.
Oh, my God. Sorry for the run on sentence.
My emotions are all over the place. So grammar can suck it for now.
Absolutely it can. I love a run on sentence personally.
I do too. That was the biggest lie I ever told my mom.
I did not want her to go, and I definitely was not okay, but I didn't want her to hurt anymore.
I knew she was hanging on for us and she wasn't going to go until we had told her it'd be okay.
Mom's hospice nurse told us right before people pass, usually they see people or other things such as angels before they die that we can't see.
My mom was full on faith in God and I rest easy knowing that she is home with him.
Oh, God. would be the last night with my mommy.
Oh. me several times during the night to point at the foot of the bed with a look on her face that said, do you see that?
She was unable to talk clearly then because of the cancer, or excuse me, because of the cancer had, woo, this is hard.
It basically hardened her tongue. She couldn't move it much so she couldn't speak clearly.
She usually communicated by writing things down toward the end if we couldn't understand what she was saying.
She continued to point and got exasperated and rolled her eyes at me when I said I couldn't see what she saw.
My mom was a character and that eye roll meant, girl, what the hell is wrong with you?
I know you can see what I'm pointing at.
It's right at the foot of the damn bed, child.
I love it. She loved God, but she still cussed.
Oh my God, I love her. I do too. To this day, I regret not getting her notebook so she could at least write down what she saw. was exhausted with work family and just plain life she was finally able to rest towards morning and slept until she passed the next day around 10 in the morning I miss my mama every day and some days are harder than others.
During those times, it seems as if mama sends me a sign to calm my heart and soothe my soul.
One afternoon, I was taking a nap on the love seat.
I'm short. Excuse me. I'm a short stack like Elena, so I fit comfortably.
Hell yeah. Anyways, I was sleeping and missing my mama when I felt her hand brush my cheek and I felt And I felt more than heard her say, I'm okay and I love you.
Daddy died in February of 2016 and there are no words to express the emptiness I feel with both parents gone I can't imagine I cannot They still come to visit, though.
They come as the little bright dancing orbs outside the windows on our deck.
One day I saw a dark orb floating outside and I heard Mama clear as day say, don't let them in, baby.
That's not us. I just got full chills. Yeah.
Holy shit. That is wild. Oh my God. Look at.
Yeah, no, no, no. Literally look at my arms.
I wish you guys could see this. Full on goosebumps.
And you know what's wild? I read this a couple weeks ago and put it in the folder.
And I'm still getting chills. Oh, okay.
I promptly told whatever it was that they weren't welcome in our home and they had to leave in the name of Jesus.
I'm a believer, but I promise I'm no hateful Christian.
How anyone can be hateful and claim to love Christ is beyond me because he was nothing but love but I digress.
Oh my God, I really love you. I love you a lot.
You're wonderful. There was another time when I was grocery shopping when Casanova by, how do you say it? lavert lavert came on over i'm not sure i'm not sure if i'm right with that one you tried i did over the store radio while I was in the dairy section and I broke down while trying to find a gallon of milk with the furthest expiration date.
My mom loved music and loved to dance. And this was one of her favorite songs.
That and Head to Toe by Lisa Lisa. Oh my God, I love it.
And the cult jam by anything, excuse me, and the cult jam and anything by Prince.
Where am I? Oh, yeah. The dairy section and crying to, what did you say?
Laverte, I think. Yeah. A lady saw me crying and came over to comfort me.
This was in the before times when you could actually touch people. and social distancing wasn't a thing remember those days not really no Well, I told her I was crying because I was missing my mommy something fierce and she loved dancing to this song.
She smiled and said her mom loved the song and loved dancing, too.
I wish you guys just broke out and fucking danced in the dairy section.
That would have been amazing. By the time we finished talking, I felt better.
And we both said our moms are probably jamming in heaven together at this moment and brought us together.
Who knows? I know I rambled and I had to take a bit of a break and came back to this several times before I could finish.
I hope you can make sense of my garbled mess.
Keep it weird, but also weird enough that you can feel your mama's brush your cheek and tell you she loves you when you're taking a nap and miss her like crazy. and she and your daddy dance like fireflies, but in the daytime on your deck, and you have a crying dance party jamming Casanova by Levert in the supermarket while looking for milk with a stranger and you both leave saying your mommies are dancing in heaven having a hell of a good time." dance on mama i love you forever and ever poo oh That was like not true crimey at all, but it was like paranormal and we needed to read it because I fucking loved it. that I read this email like weeks ago I think I was with you wasn't I oh you were yeah yeah because I was like oh my god It just made me feel some type of way and I was like, we have to read that on the show.
Oh, and they attached a picture of her with her mom.
And can we just say that your mom is beautiful?
Seriously, you're both such beautiful angels.
Also, you guys are twins. You really are.
And also you have like a very familiar face.
You do. Maybe it's just because you're lovely.
You're gorgeous. You're gorgeous. Oh my goodness.
That was like... That rocked my shit. I can't believe the...
The amount of goosebumps that I got during that was outrageous.
The don't let us in, baby, that's not us.
Outrageous. outrageous. Yeah. That just blew my mind.
This next one is what we need to lighten things up a little.
Alright, so this one's called LL Cool J Beat Up My Grandma's Murderer.
Alright. All right. All right. All right.
Deal with it. He did. You know that person in your life who just can't stand mayo?
Call them traumatized. Call them closed-minded.
We get it. They're stuck in their ways. But here's the thing.
They just haven't tried Hellman's flavored mayo.
We're talking bold flavors that will flip even the biggest skeptics.
Spicy mayo that adds the perfect kick to your burger.
Garlic aioli that transforms ordinary fries into something extraordinary.
Chipotle mayo that turns your basic wrap into a smoky sensation.
So to all the mayo haters out there, yes, we're looking at you.
It's time to eat your words, because with mayo this flavorful, Any hater is just a mayo lover waiting to be convinced.
Hellman's Flavored Mayo. Get ready to eat your words.
Hey ladies, I'm Samantha. So my grandma Delma had my dad when she was 13.
Wow. Oh, my God. The man guilty of the crime is named Jonathan Kirby, a member of the Kirby vacuum family, by the way.
He was. Oh, wow. That's crazy. He was convicted of a voluntary manslaughter in 1988, sentenced to six years, released after only one.
Unfortunately, there's not much available to research pertaining my grandma's case.
I have a, quote, morbid curiosity, if you will.
A year or so ago, my dad's sister, also named Samantha, sent us an article from 2012 that blew our minds.
I'll attach the specific one, but there's multiple articles available online.
In the middle of the night in August of 2012, LL Cool J's security alarm was set off as his family was sleeping.
Soon he was face to face with Jonathan Kirby, the man who killed my grandma in Texas 25 years before.
Wow. LL Cool J was interviewed about the home intrusion and said he was a of Kirby, receiving a Charles Manson type of vibe from him due to his looks and demeanor.
I'm also going to include a link to an interview he did with Oprah where he discussed his fear in the situation.
Despite this, the wrath that is the LL Cool J.
Left Kirby with a broken nose, broken jaw, and broken ribs.
The wrath that is the LL Cool J. However, I'm not sure what the legal aftermath was for Kirby with all of that.
What it said at the time was he was facing 38 years in prison since he was a, quote, third striker.
It's unnerving to know his children and wife were present when you're aware what Kirby is capable of.
It's a good thing his mama said knock you out.
Oh my god, I'm fucking dead. Oh, my God.
His mom said knock you out. His mom said knock you out.
Oh, you know what? Jonathan Kirby needed love.
Yeah. oh god this is amazing that was so funny Oh, I'm glad his mama said knock him out.
You better. I love that. Wow, that was a great one.
That was really good. That was a nice little like, boop.
Yeah, we needed that to bring us up. We really did.
Because this one's fucking terrifying. Oh, Lord.
This one is called The Tale of Mr. X, or How My Daughter is Primed to be an Even Bigger Weirdo Than I Am.
Cool, cool. Hi, guys. You're the best and so is your podcast.
And I'm just going to jump right into it here.
Love that. Thank you. This story is about my four-year-old daughter and her absolute creep-fest behavior a few years ago.
When she was around two, we finally got her sleep trained to stay in her own bed So I could get more than three hours of sleep at a time and function like a normal human being without seven cups of coffee every day.
Sweet relief. Wow, you're speaking directly to my... tired tired tired soul literally the opening few lines were like part of the reason I picked this to read oh my god I just was like, wow, wow, we're one.
We set up a monologue. so I could keep an eye on her because as much as I cherish unbroken sleep, I also have an insane anxiety when it comes to my kids. and basically think they're about 10 seconds away from being abducted at all times.
Is this me? Yes. Did I write this listener tale?
I might have. My husband insists it's because I listen to true crime and paranormal podcasts on a routine basis.
I say pish posh. Pish posh. I've always been a big believer in the paranormal and a true crime junkie.
I blame on my grandma who used to tell me that her house which was in the fucking sub or where which was in the fucking suburbs, was built on Native American burial ground and was haunted.
Stupid eight-year-old me had seen Poltergeist and wow, did I believe her.
Especially when she would play tricks on me to convince me that a ghost had been present.
She sounds awesome. that's awesome what a rad grandma Like telling me how the ghost turned the lights on.
So if I woke up and a light was on, a ghost had been watching me sleep.
That's fucked. And then she turned on the light while I was asleep.
That's savage. Sadist. She said that, not me.
Anyways, I've had other spooky supernatural things happen to me, so I'm a big believer, even if it scares the shit out of me sometimes.
So we set up the monitor, got my daughter a Moana blanket and called it a day.
Love that. Things were going well. I could actually watch Netflix wrapped up in my big fluffy bed and she was sleeping well.
That is until Mr. X arrived. I hate this already.
Yeah, not into it. Some backstory on my house.
It's from 1940. Not as old as some of the shit you have in Boston.
I know, but to us Floridians, that's like ancient.
I mean, that's pretty fucking old. That's pretty old.
P.S. Boston rocks and old buildings are the best.
I lived in Salem for a year and wow, was it special. spooktacular, and also real fucking scary, but that's another story for another day.
Oh, I want that story. As do I. Anyways, my house is old as fuck according to Florida standards and is basically one central room with a bunch of other oddly shaped rooms added onto it.
I feel that. Yep. It has a ton of owners over the years, but apparently started out...
Yep, started out as one of the first houses on our street and was a goat farm.
Not going to lie, wish it was still a goat farm.
OK, side note, I watched like Farmhouse Fixer or Upper.
I don't really know what it's called, but it's the guy from New Kids on the Block. oh yeah he hosts it and he like fix farmhouses on hgtv and he bought somebody goats and now i want goats Oh, I know.
The end. The end. It's set way back from the street and has a lot of old trees that hang over it so it's always dark inside the house.
I love it. that me too when we bought it i was legit concerned that it would be haunted but my husband basically told me to stop listening to the paranormal shit and calm down I didn't, but also didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.
So at around two, my daughter starts waking up at night again, but we're not talking waking up. calling mama mama through the monitor until I come in.
We're talking screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.
Oh, no. Sound familiar, Elena? I'm still thinking I might have written this in a haze of tiredness.
Okay. This is sounding a little too familiar.
Yeah. The first time it happened, I think I fucking apparated into her room.
Did I say that right? Yeah, apparated into her room.
This is too real because I literally did that a couple of weeks ago.
Literally. I think I just materialized in her room.
Because the baby lately is screaming, waking up in the middle of the night and screaming no.
Yeah. Which is so freaky. Yeah. I was not happy.
I ran as fast as I could to check on her.
She was screaming and crying in her bed until we got there, pointing in the very, very dark corner. at what looked like nothing, at least to me.
Understand that at two, her vocab was still limited, so she couldn't really tell me what was wrong.
I calmed her down, got her back to sleep, and then went straight to Google to ask it what the fuck.
Oh my god, I did the same thing. The Goog said night terrors, although she was very little for it.
So I said, okay. And I went on my merry way with my revived seven cups of coffee routine.
The waking up happened the next night and the next night.
And the next night, the same shit, screaming at the top of her lungs, pointing into the dark corner and crying.
It got to the point where I would just lay awake waiting for it.
She was so hysterical that it freaked me out excuse me, that it freaked me out enough to call her pediatrician, who then referred us to an ENT doctor to check for sleep apnea.
They basically put her on allergy medicine and said, sorry, sucka.
Oh my god, that's literally it. Oh, that's awful.
Yeah. My husband didn't want her to revert to sleeping in our room again, though thought it was a phase.
There are no ghosts, blah, blah, blah. So I start dragging a twin mattress into her room and sleeping with her. but not sleeping, you know, just laying there with my eyes wide open, staring into that fucking corner and saying the Lord's Prayer in my head.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That kills me. Stop.
I would be so fucking mad if a ghost did this to my kids.
It all came to a head one night when she woke up screaming like a banshee.
She pointed in the corner and said Mr. X Mr. X.
I would light the house on fire and take my family and leave.
I hit him in the head out. I whipped around.
I gotta get out. Yeah, like what? Yeah. he's here he's here oh my god leave light the place on fire i'm not kidding nope literally almost shit my pants she definitely went to bed with me that night fuck sleep training And the next day I had a talk with her about ghosts, setting her up to be a weirdo early.
High five. Yeah. And how if something's scaring you, you should tell it to go away.
It's not welcome here. My very cool aunt who is also into the paranormal stuff has always given me this advice to use if I think a ghost or ghoulie is in my house.
Didn't know if it worked or not, apparently it worked for her once, but I figured at this point, anything was worth trying.
I also didn't, I also hadn't had time to buy any sage.
That night, the screaming started up, and did I mention it was always around 3 a.m., which holy mother of God freaked me out.
Ugh. same no is it you didn't fucking tell me that yeah i'm dipping in a second bye I'm dipping.
My daughter started screaming that. Oh, fuck.
Now I'm even freaked out because like we're in a house.
That I'm not into. Yeah, my daughter started screaming that Mr. X was here.
I almost peed myself and then pointed into the corner and threw her tears, yelled...
Go away! Go away! I was shocked that she remembered, but then she calmed down and went to bed with me.
And it stopped. Like, what? That should not have worked.
Not. But she never woke up again screaming like that.
And she never brought up Mr. X again. Mr. X. I know that's fucking terrifying.
So then fast forward to 2020, the year of bullshit, and we're quarantined at home. at home, mind you, so I can't fucking leave.
My daughter is now three and sitting at the table where you can see into the dark guest bathroom.
Oh fuck this. She's staring and looking kind of weird, so I ask her, hey, what are you looking at?
She casually answers me, oh, Mr. X. I about kneeled over and fucking died right there.
I hate this so much. I asked her in a high pitched voice.
Well, what does he look like? What does he look like?
She pursed her lips like she's studying him.
Oh my gosh. I don't want to know. No. Oh, fuck this.
Fuck this so hard. I like skimmed over this, but I was like, we got to read this.
I didn't read the description first. And now I'm scared.
The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties I would like to address you all Legal proceedings have been initiated Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption,
Binge all episodes of The Mystic and the Mare exclusively and ad-free right now on Wondery+.
Start your free trial in Apple Podcasts Spotify or the Wondery app.
She bursts her lips like she's still studying him, still staring into the bathroom, and she goes, he's all black like a skeleton, but red eyes.
Mm-mm. That's a Damon. that's a diamond that's a diamond I shit you not I almost ran out of the house right fucking there and then leaving her and her brother to share their veggie straws with Mr. X and all his demon friends that might also be living in my house.
I scream laughed to cover my I panicked, but she didn't think it was funny.
Oh, my God. She just screamed. She goes, mama, he's in the bathroom.
Why don't you go say hi to him? Oh, I'd be like, you know what?
That's when you look at your child and it's okay to say, fuck you.
You look at that three-year-old and you go, you know what?
Fuck you. That's what you do. Clearly I'm not a parent.
I would literally be like, why don't you go fucking say hi to him?
Like if your kids ever tell them that I said fuck you to them, it's because they asked me to say hi to someone that's not there. that they casually described as a skeleton with red eyes.
And that seems like such a... Why don't you go say hi to them, Mom?
Yeah, like, why don't you go ahead? Like, I had to say, go away.
Go say hi to them. Why don't you go check them out?
Fucking poser. Wow. Hard fucking pass on that one, but thanks.
I literally was afraid to pee for days, especially when my daughter would literally walk by the bathroom.
Oh, my God. Hi, Mr. X. Very casually, like they're fucking best friends forever now.
Finally I went to the bathroom with a stick of incense and said, bitch, go away.
It all stopped, but I don't think it's gone.
We're moving in a month or two. Thank God.
Peace out, goat farm ghost demon Mr. X. Hopefully he doesn't follow us or I will die.
That's it Bitch go away Anyways that's it thanks for having the best spooky podcast out there and also for being the weirdos that you are You're some of my fave people and it always makes me pumped to see a new episode waiting for me.
Also, please schedule a live show in Florida, like in Orlando, ASAP.
Keep it weird, Chris. chris i can't wait to meet you yeah chris please buy holy shit a meet and greet because i gotta meet you We gotta meet you.
We gotta find you. So scary. Bitch, go away.
Oh, thank you for that. I'm crying. So the last one that we'll do.
Thank God I said no to that fucking scavenger hunt.
And it's a Word document. I know. All of you sending Word documents just like... You're the MVPs.
Blah, blah, blah. Hello, you beautiful badasses.
First, I need to apologize because I'm not a great writer.
You don't need to apologize. She wrote, hashtag business student.
However, my story is chilling in the realest way possible and I had to share it with you all. i also want to say i fucking love you too we fucking love you i love you I found your podcast right before this past spooky season started and now cannot do my makeup without listening to your podcast, specifically The Listener Tales.
I love that routine for you. You have my shit hooked all my shit.
Oh also I should apologize because this may be long and I promise some other bitches out there need to hear this.
My roommates all call me a witch because apparently I have spooky-ooky abilities to predict events and also have an insane sense of being in tune with my feelings and surroundings.
Same. My name is Erica, which you are totally fine to use.
However, I'm changing the other names in this story just to set the tone.
I go to a small college out west and it gets fucking freezing in the winter.
It was my second semester of my first year of college, no car, and of course, I had a class that was from 5.30 to 7 at night.
Well shit gets dark at 5 here, so I was walking to class in the dark always.
Luckily this class was only once a week.
I remember the first couple of weeks I was analyzing the type of people in my class like I normally do just to try to catch the vibe.
Everyone seemed pretty chill and chatty except for this one guy.
He was short, scrawny, and pasty with pitch black hair.
We will call him Seth. Seth would just stare. like stare to the point where I thought he was going to take my soul, which is ironic since I'm a gender and don't have one.
Yes. Anyways, I just dismissed it as him being that one weird kid and just tried to ignore him.
But oh no, he had other plans for me. I was sitting at my apartment one day and I had gotten a DM request from some guy named Seth.
His account was private and so I did not recognize who it was at first.
I requested a follow and accepted his request.
Big mistake. I was accepted and realized it was Seth, the weird kid.
He had DM me stating how I was the most beautiful girl at this school and how he wanted to take me on a date.
I politely declined because the reminder of his dark and desolate scare had given me in class... that he had given me in class screamed to me inside, "'Say no, you dumb bitch.
Do not trust him.'" I found my feelings super abrupt, but told him that is very kind, but I have to politely decline as I'm not looking to go on dates for That's a very nice way to say no.
That really is. Clearly that was not the response he was looking for and he messaged me for weeks.
He yet again asked me on a date and I said no, then told me that it didn't have to be a date and we could just hang out and go for a drive.
Yet again, no. It was getting annoying as fuck at this point and I had started to become rude in hopes he would just get the hint and get the vibe.
This is also making me think of, we just did a Patreon episode about Christine Rothschild.
I know. Trying to be nice and say no, and they don't let it go.
Nope. That's why you gotta start getting rude.
Get rude. I was uncomfortable. But nope, he had to take this all to a whole fucking new level.
I got a DM from him one day stating, I have a surprise for you.
Fuck that. I told him I didn't like surprises, yet again trying to be blunt and rude.
He then told me that it was a gift and I would love it.
I told him I didn't need a gift from him.
Seth said, my mom told me the best way to get a girl to like you is to buy her a gift and do something special.
No offense, but what the fuck to his mom.
I'm sure you did. I'm sure you're thinking I'm a bitch and he's just trying to be sweet, but bear with me.
We're not thinking that. I don't think you're a bitch.
I think you're a bad bitch. I think you're a bad bitch.
I just didn't like surprises or gifts and would feel bad accepting because I was not looking to go on dates.
He then said, have you heard the rumors about me?
Girls on campus have been telling people that I'm weird and have been spreading lies.
I just want a chance. I told him I hadn't heard these rumors, which was true, but I can't say I was surprised.
He didn't respond, and then I got a DM later that night from him.
He said, are you home? I said, no. He said, I really want to set a scavenger hunt up for you around your apartment so you can get your gift.
What is the code to your apartment? Why the fuck?
She won't go on a date with you, but you think that she's going to give you the code to her apartment?
Come on, Seth. Let me just say I was freaked out about how he knew that.
At my college, we only have apartment complexes.
Some people get keys, some get fobs. and my place at the time had doors with a set of buttons to push your code in and the door would unlock.
I don't know how the hell he knew I had a door code.
However, it spooked me. Yeah, that's terrible.
I told him I wasn't home and did not feel comfortable giving out my apartment code.
He told me he wouldn't take too long and again I said, I am not giving you the code to my apartment.
I also have roommates and respect their privacy.
They deserve to feel safe and we don't give our code out.
He told me over and over how it would be okay and it would be worth the surprise.
At this point, I was fucking pissed. First, I'm not a dumbass, and second, all I could think of was he's going to take my panties, set up a camera or some other weird shit.
Based off of what I know now, I wouldn't be, it wouldn't be dramatic, I guess.
Or wait, it wouldn't be a dramatic guess.
Sorry. I decided to block him because he clearly had figured out where I lived.
He would try and follow me home or drive me home after class and it got to the point where I had to have my friends meet me to walk me home or would have to call someone just to make me feel safe.
I randomly got a text from my neighbor back in my home state of Indiana who just happened to go to the same school out west as me.
We will call him Blake. Blake said, Hey Erica, my roommate has been asking for your number.
He really wants to take you on a date. I asked him who it was, and can you fucking guess?
He said, his name is Seth. How the fuck did Seth know that Blake knew me and they just happened to be roommates?
I told Blake everything and begged him not to give my number to Seth.
Blake is a good guy and kept that promise.
What a good guy to, I mean, like not like what a good guy to ask you before you give out your number, but like some people wouldn't.
Yeah, like that's nice. I'm glad he did that.
A couple more weeks went by and Seth was not coming to class anymore.
I was relieved, but had also wondered why.
Hold on to your fucking titties. I'm sitting in an early morning class one day and Blake sends me a text.
I read, I thought you should know, and there was a news article attached.
Uh oh. I opened the article to read that Seth has been arrested for raping a 14 year old girl.
I'm sitting in class fucking shaking with tears in my eyes.
I guess this girl had made a Tinder account in which her and Seth had matched.
He found out about her true age of 14, not 18, but decided that love didn't need an age.
He had fucking raped this poor girl and claimed he, quote, found love in the wrong place.
Let me say it again. He fucking knew her age, still pursued her, then took that poor baby's virginity.
He told this girl he wanted a fucking family with her and wanted to settle.
What's even worse is all news outlets stated that this was not his first time having sexual relations with a child.
But this was his first conviction. That is so fucked.
Seth, as far as I know, has only been sentenced to four years with the potential of 10.
Some fucking bullshit if you ask me, yes.
I walked home from class that day counting my blessings that I had said no and did not give in.
That is where this story ends. But I wanted to share this story because I need all my fellow podcast listener friends to know. that it is okay to trust your gut, even if you don't know why.
It's okay to be rude and you have every damn right for your personal safety.
Do you get those feelings for a reason? Who knows what could have happened to me?
But thank God I trusted myself enough to say no.
I love you all so much keep it spooky and keep it weird the end of that gave me goosebumps wow That's terrifying.
That is horrifying. Imagine if she said yes and like, or I mean, like, I don't.
Imagine if she gave him her apartment. Yes.
I don't know anybody that would do that.
And I'm glad she did it. But like, you never know.
Yeah. Some people are just smooth talkers.
And he's very manipulative because he's doing the gift thing.
He's like... bringing his mom into the whole thing.
It's very strange. It's far too much. He should also get a lot more than 10 years.
That was very stressful. Hate it. Unreal.
Seth, gross. Ew. And you know what? She's right.
It's fine to be rude. Don't feel bad being rude if somebody keeps pursuing it.
Yeah, just trust your gut. You got to do what you got to do.
And there's this really great button on Instagram actually that I will tell you all about.
Instead of blocking somebody, you can restrict somebody so that they cannot message you if they're bothering you.
I don't know what it tells them, but at least they don't think that they're blocked.
Yeah, because that's really, that's a good one.
Mm-hmm. Because that is the thing. Like one, those people take blocking as like a rejection and get angry.
Get real mad. And then some people also take blocking as like a trophy or like a thing that they can like hold up.
So that's good for both of those things.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Restrict them, bitches.
Restrict them. You're restricted. You're restricted.
All right, my dudes, that was like a super fun, terrifying, spooky, ooky time.
Emotional, beautiful, horrifying moment.
Yeah, every last thing that you just said.
I felt a lot of things. I felt essentially all the emotions that one could possibly feel in an hour. it's a smattering of things smattering so guys thank you so much for sending these in keep sending them in I swear we would do these every single week if we could because they're so much fun to do.
Seriously. You guys rock. you guys rock my socks you rock you roll you rule Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
I really like that. Did he say that? No.
Oh. I just said The Rock. You made it sound like he said that quote.
I did. I did. Maybe he did. Perhaps. Would we be surprised?
No. Nay. No we wouldn't. A bunch of nays.
Nice. Okay. We hope you keep listening. We really hope you keep listening.
Please do. And we hope you keep it weird.
But not so weird that you live in a house... Well, you don't live there.
Not so weird that Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith live in a house where you feel really unsafe because a murderer ghost lives there, but apparently...
He's reformed and nice now. Not so weird that you buy a hitchhiker a burger, but maybe you should, because he might save your ass later.
Not so weird that you insult a murderer, even though I think that story was absolutely fucking hilarious not so weird that you escape a kidnapping attempt but like definitely escape a kidnapping attempt like keep it that weird Not so weird that you don't know what yeet means.
Come on, Rondica. Just kidding. I love you.
Not so weird that LL Cool J beats up your grandma's murderer, but I think you should keep it that weird.
Honestly, this whole thing has just turned into how you should keep it. it that weird until we got to this part where you shouldn't keep it that weird because mr x should not be living in your bathroom and your child should not be telling you that you should go say hi to him because that seems like a challenge like elena said definitely keep it so fucking weird that you say no to a fucking scavenger hunt.
I love you, bye. If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
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