Hey weirdos, before we dive into today's twisted tale, let me tell you about a place where the darkness never ends.
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Hey weirdos, I'm Elena. I'm Ash. And this is A Listener Tales Morbid.
🎵 Thank you. Bye. Yeah, it is, because October deserved two listener tales.
And because this week is Halloweek. And we have three live virtual shows this week.
So it has been awesome. bonkers and we went live on instagram twice and we had crime countdown recordings twice and you had to record for scream Yeah, it's been a real experience.
It's been a blast because we've gotten to do so much, but it's been so much.
It's a lot. I tweeted the other day as crazy as this week has been and how little sleep both of us are running off of.
I'm going to be really sad when it's over.
I know because it's been such like a crazy whirlwind.
I know normally, to be honest, we probably should have taken this week off. from like recording regularly seriously because I we can't even begin to explain to you how how much work it's been, but we did not.
And you know what? Here we are. And we decided that we're going to do one Listener Tales episode, which is this one, and then the other one that's going to be released on Sunday.
Saturday on Halloween. Tomorrow. Is going to be an actual case and it's an Ash-centric case and it's a really good one from Australia.
We got an Australian serial killer up in here.
So, yeah, so you're getting your two episodes, but, you know, one of them's a listener tale is because...
It's just that kind of week. But you know what?
We found good listener tales. Yeah, we did.
So we're making it worth your while. And we're going to read like more than we usually do.
Yeah, we're just going to go. We're going to go crazy.
Because we love you. Because it's all Hallow's Eve Eve.
It is. It's all Hallow's Eve Eve. It's Samhain.
So blessed be and all that. All right. So you start.
Yeah, I'm going to start with mine. Oh, cool. and let's do this.
Okay. So my first one is called The horrific murder that happened in my hometown.
A listener tale. Wow. Yeah. Okay. So, well, hello, you wonderful weirdo.
Hello. I've decided to write to you again with a different story from my weird hometown. except this time you can use my name.
So hi, I'm Trisha, pronounced like Patricia, but without the puh.
LOL. That was Patricia. I'm 18 and I work a full time job from 6 a.m. to 4.30 p.m.
And your podcast is the only reason I haven't thrown my shoe at some of the old men I work with.
But moving on to the story. For clarification, my hometown of Waynesville, Ohio is technically a village with not that many people in it.
We really don't make the news, no matter what, and this story did not reach a national level.
So that's interesting. Huh. So the first story I have is the story of 18-year-old Justin Back.
Justin Gregory or Austin Gregory Myers and Timothy E. Mosley were convicted of murdering Justin in his own home.
Oh, my God. The real reason for the murder is unknown, but it's claimed to be a safe that was kept in his family's home.
Justin had graduated in 2013 from Waynesville High School and was a few weeks away from entering the Navy.
Justin and Austin had both attended Waynesville Middle School and were best friends.
According to Timothy Mosley, Austin had asked Timothy if he wanted to make some money.
And of course, like any other teenager, he was interested.
They both discussed if they wanted to rob a local drug dealer or Justin's stepfather, whose name I will leave out.
I love that it's just like, hmm, how should we make money?
Work? Nah. Let's just rob people. Who should we rob?
Our friend? Or a local drug dealer. It's like both of those seem like really bad options because everyone is a bad option to rob.
Yeah. Like... Maybe, I don't know, rethink your lives.
Maybe just like try to get a job. Rethink them.
Try to make an Etsy shop. I don't know.
Do some babysitting. Try. Just try. Just try.
Just give it a shot. Austin knew that Justin's stepfather had a safe that held money and a gun in the home, which he believed to be up to $20,000.
Myers and Mosley drove to the family home, planning on robbing the safe, but upon arriving, they realized Justin was home and decided against it.
Remember, Justin is their friend. Yeah, literally.
What the fuck? Who's about to leave for the Navy.
Yeah. They then left and talked about how they could get the money.
Myers came up with the idea to strangle Justin with a wire.
And then make the crime scene look like Justin stole the safe then ran away from home.
What? What the fuck? Trigger warning, it says.
On the morning of January 28th, 2014, Myers and Mosley purchased septic enzymes, ammonia, Tactic tank cleaner and rubber gloves.
I am real scared to see what they're going to do about this.
The fuck? They then drove to Justin's family home around 1 p.m.
The plan was for Myers to distract Justin while Mosley strangled him.
Mosley armed himself with a wire and a six-inch pocket knife.
Myers knocked on the door and Justin let them both in as he knew both of them.
Yeah. They talked for a while and then Justin went to the kitchen.
Mosley saw this opportunity and attacked Justin from behind and attempted to strangle him, while Myers held Justin from the front.
Justin fought against them, and there was a struggle causing all three men to fall to the floor.
Myers then realized the wire was wrapped around Justin's chin instead of his neck.
Mosley, in an act of panic, pulled out his pocket knife and stabbed Justin from behind.
Oh my God, his friend. Justin was stabbed a total of 21 times, which resulted in his death.
You know what this sounds like? Remember the Sarah Stern case that I covered where her friend, I think his name was Liam.
And he wanted to get her money. Yeah. Yeah.
And that's it. They were friends forever and he was like, well, I want her money.
Yeah. So after they left the house, they began to become paranoid about being followed and discussed where they wanted to dispose of the body.
They decided to put Justin behind a log in a field in a different county.
Myers then poured ammonia and septic enzymes onto Justin.
Myers then wanted to shoot Justin's dead body, so he grabbed the stolen gun and fired two shots into Justin's back.
What? The fuck? After they left Justin, they went to the Englewood Ohio- went to Englewood, Ohio and bought a crowbar to get the $20,000 that they thought was in the safe.
Oh no. Instead... they found some paperwork, loose change, bullets, gun accessories, and random items.
The case received detention because Mosley, who used the knife to murder Justin, received a sentence of life without parole because of a plea bargain.
While Myers received the death sentence, the murder caused proposed changes in Ohio state law to increase penalties for murders named Justin's Law.
Myers was sentenced to death at the age of 19 on October 21st, 17th, 2014 and is currently on death row awaiting execution.
Mosley was sentenced to life in prison on November 14th, 2014.
I remember the day we were told at school that Justin Back was found dead.
We sat there for a minute in silence in his memory.
All I heard were sniffles and his little sister in the back of the classroom letting out the loudest cry.
The mood was altered from then on. Waynesville High School has his football jersey hanging up.
His locker is no longer in use and is covered in notes and pictures.
From what I could remember of Justin was that he was the nicest person...
There were many times where he would see someone upset or struggling and he'd always go out of his way to help them.
He was always smiling and was never not laughing.
He also graduated from Warren County Career Center as a firefighter. fighter and worked at Hamilton Township as one too.
He made it his job to help as many people as he could.
To this day, on January 28th of every year, we hold a moment of silence in his memory at school.
And she included a picture and he's so handsome.
And he has just like... He has one of those faces where you can tell he was just a genuinely nice person.
He has kind eyes. He does. He really does.
He does. She also included a link, which we'll post in the show notes.
This is a link to the only apology the family of Justin had back received.
Fast forward to 40 seconds if you'd like to play the sound on the podcast.
His family is accepting donations that go towards a scholarship in his name and towards helping military families and other murder victims' families.
You can email them about donations at jbb A-H-E-R-O, so J-B, be a hero, at gmail.com.
And finally, I'd like to end this story with one of Justin's favorite sayings, and remember to always be a hero.
Thank you for reading. Go hug your family and friends because you never know when the last time will be.
I apologize for the length of the story.
It just needed to be told. It did. It did.
Trisha, you just like... You pulled at my heartstrings.
Yeah, you set me up with all the feels. And you know what?
We'll play that apology really quick now because she included it.
So here it is. This is from Timothy Mosley.
I keep asking myself the past nine and a half months why I did it.
And I just can't give you that answer right now.
I hope someday that we'll be able to give you that answer. there's not a day or night that goes by that it doesn't haunt me of what I did.
And there's absolutely no excuse. And I just want you guys to know that I really am sorry.
You're right, Timothy. There's no excuse.
I'm glad you will be haunted. I was gonna say, like, I don't care that it haunts you every night. fuck right off right so there you go cool wowzer oh that was really sad i know that like really gave you the it did if you will well always remember to be a hero i love that i know i love that oh And we'll include that email address and all the information.
In the show notes for sure. Yeah. Okay, mine was my listener tale because I don't like to talk correctly during My listener tale is that one time I was almost murdered.
That one time. That one time. So first off, I just want to say that you guys are amazing and listening to you throughout my days has made things so much easier. and has brought me out of this weird funk I was finding myself in.
I'm happy about that. I'm always glad to pull people out of funks.
Me too. I'm a nanny and while the babe is sleeping and I'm doing all the mindless tasks around here, laundry, cooking, tidying up, blah, blah, blah.
It goes by so much faster and much more entertaining listening to your insand... insanity and banter.
And it makes me feel like I'm just hanging out with my bestie talking about fucked up shit and it's awesome.
So thank you for finding your way into my life.
I even got my wife hooked on our anniversary getaway last weekend.
We listened to The three part fucking Dennis bullshit on the drive there and back.
Ha ha ha. So romantic. So romantic. I love that.
That made me feel good. Thanks for finding your way into our lives. seriously thanks to thanks all of you for that thank you so anyway on to my story use my name if you want it's okay The case has already been to court and has been closed and the dude is in jail.
So we are jumping into my DeLorean. Is that how you say that?
Yes, I love that you just had to ask that.
That's like a back to the future car, right?
Yep. Cool. That's like a back to the future car, right?
Shut up. And going back all the way to the year 2000.
I said I bet. Oh wait, that's 3,000. Nevermind.
17 year old me and my two friends, Beth and Mary.
I did go ahead and change their names because I don't talk to them anymore and I don't know if they would want their names to be out there with this.
All right, Beth and Mary. Beth and Mary it is.
Well, they were driving around the back roads of Lebanon, Ohio around 10 o'clock at night, jamming out to System of a Dawn, Tori Amos.
Oh my god, System of a Down, Ash. What is that?
Oh, I don't know. System of a down. You're so young.
I know Tori Amos. Tori Amos. System of a Don.
Nin. Oh my god, nine inch nails! What the fuck?
I gotta get out of here. I didn't know that you could abbreviate.
I gotta get an old person. Nibs. Give me an old person.
Okay, if she had said Nine Inch Nails, I know who that is.
Nin. Nin. Nin. David Bohé? I'm just kidding.
David. David Bowie. Annie DeFranco? Yes.
Okay. Thanks a lot for this, Carrie. Oh man.
So they were listening to a lot of old people.
We may or may not have been smoking a bit of Mary Jane.
See, now you're talking my language as well.
Ha ha ha. We literally had no destination just driving around until 12 a.m. curfew at my house as the girls were sleeping over at my house that night.
And we wanted to stop at Dunkin Donuts for some blueberry donut.
Oh, the best. Before we headed back too.
So we were in my car and I had been doing the driving.
And at the time Beth and I were dating, but Mary had been in the front seat with me all night.
We decided to switch around seats. Beth was going to drive and I was going to ride shotgun and Mary was going to be in the back seat.
So along this very, very dark, isolated road, we were looking for a decently safe place to pull over and do the exchange.
I finally saw a little pull-off and a street lamp, so I pulled over along this very… wait.
Sorry. So I pulled over. We all got out of the car.
And as soon as we were all walking to our new seats, we heard a male.
Oh, fuck. Fuck a male voice. We heard a male voice yell, help me, please, someone help me.
No. No. I won't. Us being stoned dumb teenagers jumped back in the car and drove off as fast as we could.
Good. We discussed, should we go back? No.
Should we check on him? No. This is me answering you.
But the issue was, and... Maybe call someone.
Yeah, definitely call someone. But the issue was, and the problem, we all felt what we heard was the male voice sounded so calm, sounded so monotone. so very much not in need of help.
Oh, gross. Hate that. Sounded more like a trap to get three teenage girls to come over down to the ditch.
You are right. I'm glad that you didn't we were totally freaked out chilled to the bone scared shitless we drove back to my house in complete silence I was just going to say, I hope you stop to get your blueberry donuts.
But you literally told me never even stopped for our blueberry donut holes.
That makes me sad. I'm disappointed in you little stoners.
Also, on the way to our virtual live show today, we're getting blueberry donut holes.
Fuck yeah, we want you to know that. No, no, no.
We're not getting blueberry donut holes.
We're getting blueberry donuts. Good, good, good, good.
Fuck the world. Good, good, good, good. Fuck the world.
We went to sleep and woke up the next morning and got some coffee and I hope some fucking donut holes.
And we went and joined my mom in the living room where she was watching the news.
Big story of the morning. A car fire on the road we were on the night before, but not just a car fire.
A car fire with a body inside. We freaked out.
Was it the man who was calling out for help?
Could we have saved him? We told my mom everything that happened and she had us call the police.
After what felt like hours and hours of questioning and days and days of waiting for any kind of answers, it turned out that no it wasn't a man in that burnt car it was a young woman she was shot too burned to tell what else happened to her They put the time of the car fire to have started around 1045 p.m., 45 minutes after we sped off.
Shit, so it was totally the killer. Yup, 100%.
100%. Also, who does that to somebody ever?
That's so fucked up. Especially at random.
Oh, and he was literally trying to lure them down the ditch.
Right. Holy shit. Wow. Wow. Good for you.
And I believe this to be the day that it saved our lives.
They were eventually able to find the guy, thank God.
We had to give our testimony in court, something about putting him there earlier than he says, squashing his alibi.
So that's my fucked up story about how I was almost a murder victim.
Wow. I would like to think though. If things had not worked out in our favor, you all would have done an episode on me.
Haha, what? Too weird? Love you both. Keep it weird.
Carrie, I won't say your last name. Honestly, never too weird.
Never too weird. But I'm real glad that we're doing a listener tales episode from your point of view and not a tale about you.
Me too, and I'm also so glad that you reminded me about blueberry donuts.
Wow. You know blueberry coffee is a thing too.
Yeah, it is. It's a little too sweet for me.
It sure is. The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties, I would like to address you all.
Legal proceedings have been initiated. Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption, Binge all episodes of The Mystic and the Mare exclusively and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.
Start your free trial in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or the Wondery app.
All right, let's see what the next one we're going to get is.
It starts off with Yo Fam, and I feel like I love that.
With Yo Fam. So this one is called A Plague Doctor and His Cursed Right Foot.
Cursed? His Cursed Right Foot. The cursed right foot.
Nin and cursed. Nin. Brought to you by Nin.
You're going to tell John that as soon as we go downstairs.
100%. You will live with that till the day you die.
Among many others. So it says, yo fam, heart emoji.
No, no, no, not heart emoji. Old school heart with the fucking... less than sign and then the three.
You know what? I'm going to go ahead and say that Ash is really shaming us olds here.
Because I call that an emoji. Because that's what an emoji, an emoticon.
Yeah, it's an emoticon. They didn't even do the, like, alt three.
No, and you know what? I appreciate that.
So thank you, fellow old. I do too. So here I am, just having finished the Dybbuk box thingy episode whilst yeeting garbage into the void of a compactor that is my livelihood.
And I think to myself, yeah, I've died a few times.
Let's send my life summary to podcast weirdos who can get a chuckle from a fellow basement goblin.
I'm obsessed with you. I love you. Oh, but before I delve into the what the fuck that is, coinkydinks.
Feel free to use my name and stuff and butcher whatevs is written here for your own means.
I probably will because you write really fun.
Okay, so the title hitter, that's a thing, right?
Well, long story short, I became a Rennie, Renaissance fair enthusiast. over the course of my youth and fell head over heels for the plague doctor aesthetic. same not with the Ren Faire stuff like do you I was gonna say why are you lying to everyone right now plague doctor aesthetic I would live as a plague doctor if I could yeah I have a mask in my living room I find that disturbing it's amazing it's So dank basements of stone buying cursed paintings from antique shops and hoarding all the books, bottles, and knowledge I could get my grubby little crafter's claws on related to the spoopy arts.
Ironically, I had just finished my first Plague Doctor getup as of October 2009.
Then Corona hit. And yes, all of my outings were in garb.
I think my favorite reaction was a child running around a corner in Walmart and nope. the fudge right out of there only to be egged on by siblings to go say hi to the spooky bird man.
The parents were busting a gut and I loved it.
At one point, several friends attended a protest and I decided to load up on wipes and candy to hand out as the Hufflepuff mom friend.
This is the way. FYI, candy was black licorice in a jar labeled leeches.
How dare you say that you handed out candy when you actually handed out... nasty.
You handed out the black death is what you did.
That's exactly what that is. You were a plague doctor handing out the plague.
Black licorice is... Like, yeet that into the garbage disposal.
It was a liberating experience to offer a small bit of levity in an ever-growing intense situation.
I like the way you were looking at it. I know.
I'd like to think I helped in some small way.
Every chuckle is progress. Yes, you're right.
But yeah, so I died, like twice. Both from bleeding out.
Nice seg, I know. Alrighty. I've had some 16 major injuries in my life, all being my right foot.
Weird. And the only hiccup otherwise would be when I snapped my arm like a Twix candy.
But that was a Boys Will Be Boys hijinks involving jousting with pool noodles on bicycles wearing rollerblades while playing basketball.
That's exactly how it sounds. Yep. Hold on.
I need to read that again. With jousting with pool noodles. noodles on bicycles wearing rollerblades while playing basketball Boys will be boys, man.
Wow. So it says rabbit braining back to death.
Yeah. So the first time I died was when my family was out swimming with distant cousins we no longer speak to because reasons.
And a six year old. I love you. And a six-year-old me is jumping off the docks having a hoopla of a time when I notice all the adults have a grand old hissy fit screaming and looking back. behind me.
Now me being the Sherlock that I am, I turn around to look at what they were gawking at. to see a scene from Jaws, Hershey squirting several yards behind me into a lovely cone of gore in my wake.
Now my seven-year-old brain be thinking shucks.
Oh shit, I couldn't read it, sorry. My seven-year-old brain be thinking, shirks are eating me.
And it's... In the unlikely chance that I survive, I'll be grounded for weeks for forgetting myself.
Forgetting myself almost eight. You're going to get grounded for being eaten by a shark almost?
Yeah. Cue panic attack and blackout. The next thing I remember are fuzzy memories of being in a bathtub with my blood everywhere.
Full-on psycho streams up the wall and everything fade to a long bumpy ride in a wee-woo wagon. fever dreams of loved ones screaming at each other that I'm going to die or something to that effect.
My next cohesive moments are several days later, chilling in a hospital bed with my new best friend, Mr. Rat, a plushie.
The story for my fam is that my crazy bird aunt bad bitched out after she found us all trying to first aid in the bathtub of the beach house.
And she Vin-dieseled our way back. She Vin-dieseled our way.
The long trek back to civilization, at least as much sooner as my mom's minivan would have allowed.
The scary part of this is that we were hours away from any town with more than a Paul Blart-esque medical facility that could hardly handle boo-boos. let alone geyser foot and soccer aunts rage.
So were you bit by a shark? That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Like, what? Something happened. That, and there was a 10-mile stretch of construction, because of course there was.
Luckily, my aunt knows of the secret lane and spat dust down the shoulder resembling the flood scene from But were you eaten by a shark?
Do you have your legs still? I have questions that need answers.
After a short-lived coppa chase, she pulled over, leaped out, and yelled something about a child bleeding to death while covered in blood. and then glared them into becoming her escort and got us to the hospital in time.
Mostly, I would say, but did I die? Except I did.
what i love what happened and technically died yeah it sounds like there was an actual shark uh was there to see yeah see well it sounds like it's just something happened to your foot i don't know something happened So let's see.
Fast forward a decade and three years of being a squire for local Renaissance equestrian guilds.
I am a goat faced man child that thinks my four shaggy hairs are cool.
Smell it. Like the goat I resemble and have just been elected as king of the fairies due to being the sole male that entered the contest. fuck is your life i love it i mean i mean that in like the best way like i love it it's great you are awesome Shallow victory, but my eagle will take it with pride.
Good for you. I would too. I am thereby gifted with a basket of gift from this fairy blossom reward ceremony for the royalty.
This event was fantasy themed. I highly recommend.
And in said basket was an assortment of fruits, coupons for various vendors, honeys, and a freaking knife.
But that'll come back into the story later.
I love, like, nicely made honey. And then he just said, okay, it's later.
Yeah. So the fair wrapped up. My knight lost his joust, but won the sword fights, and the merchants and fairgoers were all leaving. leaving just myself, the equestrian manager, and the other squires in the middle of an empty field waiting for word if we were meeting the rest of the gang to go see Mad Max Fury Road in theaters or hitting a Cracker Barrel for dinner first.
You know, Renfrew things. Both would happen, but sadly it wasn't meant to be.
So while we were waiting, I'm sitting in the truck carving into an apple with my new knife.
And I set the knife on my lap and forgot about it.
Stress memories intensify. Well, a few minutes go by and we get the call.
So I turned to hop out of the rig and everything went slow motion.
Guys, the knife leapt from my lap, somersaulted and hit the ground right as my foot came down.
With the full weight of my body driving the four inch shaft into my foot completely vertical.
I have to go. Big ouch energy here. A lovely picture of the end result is attached below.
You're welcome. I'm totally going to look at it.
Is it real bad? Oh, that's foul. That is absolutely motherfucking foul.
Can we post? I feel like this person would not care if we posted this at all.
I really feel like you wouldn't care. We're posting.
That's literally just going to be the trigger warning.
Luckily, the manager's day job is a nurse of 20 plus years.
Like all things considered, it was the best case scenario for me to die in.
Panicked, I did the worst thing possible and pulled the knife from the wound.
Cue immediately fountain spurts, spilling with my heartbeat from the two-inch slit in boot not a good not a good not a good i dropped to the ground like a turnip head i like the turnip head i am And ripped off the boot, having watched all the murder medical dramas, I went straight to applying pressure to the wound and alerting the confused squires and my manager about the blood guy. are erupting from my foot that by now I was becoming far far too familiar with One squire went pale and with quick thinking pulled off his belt and... Oh, good. and started to tourniquet my leg while the nurse manager kept me sane and distracted.
The nurse manager. But high key, y'all, I'd be mad sweating right now just recalling the event. brain voodoo is brain voodoo is some mad stuff can we live the pain if you think about it enough true story oh my god Months later, when I was finally recovered enough to drive, I about flipped my Jeep thinking I had a vein rip.
The pain was so real. Back to dying. So yeah, we rip into the local hospital, me being honeymooned by one squire while my boss in the other one. are keeping me from bleeding out in the entrance to be welcomed by the most disinterested nurse on the planet.
But she saw the blood and led us to a room and then just left.
Are you kidding? After a very... long while.
I was getting rather pale and my boss was quite livid as she went after anyone to help.
Eventually, the nurse returned having been goaded to prioritize this and was all, so how's the flow?
And all I can think of is, Like I was stabbed by a knife.
She was not amused and shooed the squire hand away, pulling back the sock clot.
Y'all, her eyes bloated to saucers at the gush and moved like lightning to the big ol' red help button they keep on the wall.
Apparently I may have severed my artery like in two completely and did a hell of a lot of other damage.
Enter enter Phil Swift quote. And yeah, shit got intense after that.
But the drugs were lit, so there's that.
They ended up having to crimp off each side of the artery.
You could have, you did die. Like that is dying.
So my body had to grow new root veins or something.
Either way, the healing process was like a combination of wiggle worms under the skin and pins and needles.
From there I have a lot of vague memories.
Asking to hold one squire's hand, crying, thinking I was going to die again. joking with the nurses that they can take the legs so long as i don't have to pay i wasn't joking But the strongest memory was the cold.
Now, I'm a big boy from the north, so I'm good with the cold most of the time, but this was different.
I was like standing, it was like standing in a barren winter wood, the cold biting your flesh into alabaster silk.
Beautiful. You paint with words. The kind that doesn't go away willingly.
I don't know how else to describe it. When you're so cold, everything feels smooth and painful.
I do know that colds. Did you? Oh yeah, you almost died too.
I did almost die. I don't know. Super Spooksville.
10 out of 10. Don't recommend. That's actually a really great way to say it.
Needless to say, I've lived an interesting life.
Yeah. hours about fairs, pranks, and world exploration.
Australia's sick, totes go. But we will keep to the spook spook themes.
And maybe, okay, maybe my deaths hardly count as they were only seconds, but any good story is worth over-embellishing, right?
So long as it's tasteful, at least. Or tactful?
Eh. As for other injuries, they range from drop mason jars that bounce shatter shrapnel, old barn wood... hidden under hay, getting caught in between sandals, causing the worst grouping of splinters. finding any and all needles, Legos, gopher holes that ever existed, and stubbing my toes a gazillion times a week.
Minor injuries abound. But I think it's a severe lack of injuries anywhere else that makes this really weird for me.
Thinking about why or how I could perceivably be cursed, maybe because my initials are M-A-L, but much doubt, I bet I'm missing out on a super bomb ass story my gramps is holding out on me with.
I could have demon ninja grudges for all I know.
Man, what a tale I could have told. Well, I hope this randomness that is my spur of the moment at 2.23 a.m. while guzzling gin martinis entertained y'all for a smidge it did got lots of wild entails in me but sadly not much spook past these So, thanks for reading and keeping it weird.
But not so weird that you obsess over being a plague doctor, but are really just a goat in a trench coat trying to be cool enough for the turtle club and not so weird that your right foot becomes a knife magnet.
And you bleed out every 12 years and are encroaching on that time of the decade again.
Okay, bye. P.S. Maybe I should just make chain mail socks.
Hmm. Maybe. That's a good idea. That is a good idea.
P.P.S. New fan goal shoot. Few fangirl schticks to get out can leave out or mush in if y'all use this for a tale one day.
I'm a groundskeeper and work with a very large compactor.
The compactor case you covered has brought me a few concerns to my attention.
And now I peek in every so often, just in case.
But for reals, I love the show and I'm now caught up in... up and look forward to more interesting spooks to bother my coworkers about.
I love this. What else does it say? My initials are M-A-L, enrolling into the Plague Doctor vibe to eventually have skits and whatnot to educate peeps at fair. and sell nerdy-ass bottles of Gatorade is low-key my dream.
So excuse the bad joke, but my handle is Mal's Practice.
Oh my god, I love that. M-A-L-S underscore practice.
I was a leather worker for most of my life, a squire, blue collar, everything, an all-around weirdo with bard energy.
I love it. I apologize for the rabbit brain email thingy, but I failed English class, so womp womp.
Okay, I'm no writer and it's nearly witching hour and my gin is done.
So been fun, ladies, and I'm done proofreading and I'm off to die till tomorrow.
Rest well and hydrate, you weirdos, and keep it wild.
Mal, you hydrate, though. You are. Wild.
Absolutely wild. And I believe it's Mikkel.
Yeah. Right? I think so. Yeah. So you're amazing.
That was awesome. I'm just staring at your foot wound.
That gin-fueled That rampage was everything we needed in our lives.
I loved that. I mean, always write us with a gin-fueled rampage.
I think that sounded a lot like my inner monologue.
That was great. It was. It really was. Wow.
I'm sad it's over, to be honest. I am, too.
But I am excited that the next listener tale is my family and the Manson family.
Sure is. I'm so ready. I'm ready. My body is ready.
Hey fam, I wanted to write this email since I was in 8th grade, but because you weren't podcasting in 2003, How old was I in 2003?
Wow, that was the year before I graduated high school.
So I was seven. Wow. Cool. So since we weren't doing that in 2003, yeah, I've held on to it since now.
My dad is a baby boomer. baby boomer and grew up in San Jose in the 1950s and 60s.
Back then, his neighborhood was full of date orchards and his neighbors next door were basset hound breeders.
The puppies were super groovy. Goofy. I'm like really in the Manson flow of things.
Super groovy puppies, man. Wow, those puppies are far out.
So groovy. were super goofy and would adorably trip over all their own ears.
Oh my god, shut up. The family next door had three kids and the middle daughter was in my dad's class.
Who was this girl next door with the cute puppies?
Was it Alicia Cuthbert? The girl next door.
That's a movie. Oh. Nope. I got it. I got your joke.
Nope. It was Susan Atkins. I got that. You got that.
The soon-to-be member of the Manson family.
Fast forward to 2018. My dad's 50th high school reunion was this year, and he reconnected with some of his classmates.
Did they all sit around and gossip about what happened to Susan Atkins?
You know it. Hell yeah. The Lee High School class of 1968 were all a bunch of murderinos, especially my dad's friend, Deb. who kept a copy of her eighth grade yearbook.
Like the rest of the eighth graders, Deb passed her yearbook around the classroom and had each of her classmates sign it.
When the book was passed back to Deb at the end of the period, Susan Atkins had signed it too.
Duh. And not only did she sign it, she used her pen to scratch big X's over Deb's eyes in her yearbook photo.
Wow. Susan. I'm not saying that was a red flag, but I'm not not saying it.
You can say it. I hope you guys keep slaying the podcast game.
I'm torn up that I didn't get to listen to your podcast when I lived in Boston.
RIP. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you joined the most infamous cult in the history of infamous cults.
Mikayla. Oh my god, Mikayla. I wish Deb had a picture of her yearbook.
I know. I want to hear it. I want to hear it.
I want to see it. I was just reading. All right.
Let's see. That was a really good one. I loved that.
I can't believe she scratched out X's over her eyes already.
In 8th grade. I mean... Like that's a situation.
She was messed up. That's a real situation.
She was messed up and then she found other messed up people.
All right, the next one I am going to do is listener tales.
I was almost kidnapped. Uh-oh. Hello, amazing ladies.
Hello to you. Hey. My name is Aaliyah. I want to start off by saying I love your podcast.
I listen on my long-ass drive to work every morning and I love your banter and the cases you cover.
I find myself laughing and shitting my pants at the same time and I live for it.
I wanted to share my story about a time I was almost kidnapped in a sushi place parking lot in East Longmeadow, Massachusetts.
Oh, shit. We have family from there another western mass gal okay here we go buckle up bitches i'm buckled up click click I got off work at like 9 15 p.m. and I was like wow a bitch could really use some sush right now are you ash you just Spoke to my motherfucking soul.
It's your name, Ash. Also, I think I'm gonna get sushi today instead of donuts.
So I ordered at this place down the road and I went to go pick it up.
I secured the precious package and as I'm walking my fat ass all the way across the parking lot.
I see a van turn its lights off and I hear a door close.
NBD. I keep walking. I'm almost to my car and I hear a man's voice say, ma'am, you dropped some cash. don't care bye don't care you can keep it it's fine me being hella sus was like nope not mine I don't ever carry cash His response was, I saw it fall from your purse.
It has to be yours. So I was like, dude, nah, keep it.
Merry Christmas, pal. Goodbye. You are me.
He got closer to me and said, I wouldn't feel right keeping it.
Here, please take your money. And at this point, my blood is lava and I have my keys gripped, ready to throw hands.
I begin to walk faster and this dude matches my speed towards me.
I immediately screamed and set my car alarm off.
Good for you. and ran like the fucking wind towards my car.
This man ran to my car, too. and slammed his hands on my window, called me a skank and told me to open my doors.
Who even says the word skank anymore? Who are you?
Get the fuck out of here. I ripped out of the parking lot and drove 9,000 miles home and called the police, etc., etc. scariest moment of my entire life and I would not be here if I hadn't gotten some real good advice on how not to be murdered from your podcast.
Ash and Elena told me, don't trust anyone.
Get away from me. Yes. Literally. We are here to tell you everyone sucks.
Don't trust anyone. Get away from me. Anyway, I love you guys.
Keep doing all the good stuff you do and obviously keep it weird.
But not so weird that you walk up to random women and try to tell them they dropped money even though they know they don't actually carry cash, you cock breath meanie.
You cock breath meanie. Ew. That's amazing.
And I am so glad you are alive, Aaliyah.
Seriously, you killed it. You did all the right things.
And I hope you enjoyed your sushi. I do too.
Once your adrenaline went down. I do too.
Because we know an adrenaline crash is tough.
Alright, my next one is called Always Use the Goddamn Motherfucking Buddy System, okay?
K. And what good advice that is. And also, this is Hallie, and she's the funniest writer ever.
I love that. Hey, weirdos, I'm Halle, like Halle Berry.
Like Harry Berry. Like Harry Berry. Like Mary Berry.
Like Halle Berry, I've been binging your podcast hard for the last few months because I fucking love it.
I love that you offer a variety of morbid shit and not just true crime because I am also said to be spoopy. and strange and unusual as well.
So thanks for bringing all of us weirdos together.
Aww. You're so sweet. I listen to listener tales and think about my freakiest moment by far in my long-ass 26 years of living. so I figured I'd shoot my shot and write in.
Anyway, let's dive into the story. I must first preface this by saying... that I have an awesome mama who also loves all things serial killer and spoopy, and have had a lot of paranormal experiences in life, but we will save that for another tale.
With that being said, I also learned a lot about serial killers and how to protect myself, but I never thought I would need to use any of this bizarre knowledge.
I hope my kids have the same kind of knowledge.
I mean they don't. I hope I succeed in that they have both of us so yeah it's true they're good I'm just gonna like pat us on the back real quick.
They're good. I grew up in the middle of bumfucknowhere, Iowa. where the number of livestock literally outnumbers the number of people.
That's amazing. That is incredible. I grew up in the country and lived there for 19 years before I finally was brave enough to move 25 minutes away. to the crime and bar riddled town of Fort Dodge.
Fort Dodge is an old river town with tons of bars, a community college that I attended, and tons of fun stuff and tons of stuff to do.
But just like any bigger town, Fort Dodge always gets a bad rep.
I mean, some of its nicknames are Fort Dirty, Dirty Dodge, and Lil' Chicago.
Lil' Chicago. I like Lil' Chicago. But just like any town, it has great people and a community that really can come together and bring out the best in people.
But I digress. I was 20 when my best friend at the time and I considered looking at places to move in around Fort Dodge.
When house hunting, we also considered some very important things. meaning how close we were to our friends and how close we were to the bar, to the nearest bar.
A huge selling point to the apartment was that we had a bar almost in our backyard and and some of our closest friends lived only three blocks away.
That sounds terrible, not gonna lie. What?
A bar in your backyard. No, thank you. Yeah, but when you're like 20?
I think even at 20, I would have been like, no, thank you.
Wow, we're the most different people that ever existed.
I would have been like, fuck yeah! Will they accept my fake ID?
This was awesome because they always they always threw some crazy ass parties. and we could just always walk home if we got too crazy.
So one night I did just that. It was a normal Sunday summer night when I got off of work and my friends asked me to come over for some Cards Against Humanity. and a couple drinks.
I made some bomb ass chicken Alfredo, threw it in a bowl, grabbed my keys, phone charger, and my just in case i ever have to stab a knife love it and walked happily to their house where my roommate and all of my other friends were It was still light out at this point, and there were a ton of people around. a ton of people out and about, so I didn't think anything of it when I decided to walk after.
Oh, when I decided to walk. After all, their house was three blocks away.
My roommate had to be home before 10 to get ready for her grown-up job the next day, but me, being the jid-
Me being the degenerate dumpster fire that I was in my early 20s stayed until 4 a.m.
This is very relatable. I was literally just thinking that, but I was like, I'll let Ash say it.
I just got out of my dumpster fire phase.
Because you know what? And I just need to clarify, like in my 20s, I would go to bars, but I would not want one in my backyard.
Yeah. Because I don't want like drunk people in my backyard.
No, I get that. I just want to clarify that I'm not a total wet blanket.
I just was a drunk person all the time in my early twenties.
So like I would, I wanted other me, I would want other me's in my backyard.
Yeah, you would. And I feel like I've kind of had other me's in my backyard.
So anyways. We decided to call it a night and I gathered my things.
My guy friends wanted to walk me home but they were just as plastered as me and I really didn't want them to walk me home.
I was in that strong, independent woman that don't need no man phase.
That's a great phase. It is. It was only three blocks away.
After all, everything was normal for the first block.
Just your usual siren and cricket sounds in the night.
I didn't see anyone else out on the roads or sidewalks for the first block or so.
I was naive of the city and evil people, but not stupid.
That was when I saw a man on the other side of the street.
Not good. The man was on his cell phone and going the opposite direction of me.
But as I said, mama prepared me for times like this.
So I took mental note of what I could make out of his face and what he was wearing.
I opened my knife and I had 911 ready to call. when he looked up and noticed me.
Good for her. She's really on it. I know.
I love that she did that. I definitely was not this smart.
There's many times that I should have died.
Yep. This is when my freak flag went off. flying he started to pick up his pace and even turned around going in the same direction as me Still not super weird as he was still across the street from me.
That's when he hung up his phone and started running toward me At full goddamn sprint.
Nope. At a full goddamn sprint. Nope. Bye.
Nope. I kicked off my sandals and started to run.
Like I said, my mama didn't raise no dummy.
No, she did not. and being that my dad only had us two girls i knew how to fight yes girl i love this girl I love you Halle Berry.
Your parents did so well. They did. Wow.
He was running so fast that he dropped his phone in the middle of the street and had to go back for it.
Wow. I was more than ready to stand my ground and stab this dude and maybe even possibly kick him in the dick or stab him right in the eyes.
But I thought about how boring courtrooms are and how much this... She is me. how boring courtrooms are and how much time it would take out of my drinking schedule if I had to go to said boring courtroom for stabbing this lowlife.
So I kept running as fast as I could, which wasn't super fast.
I had put on some weight from all the booze and half-priced Perkins appetizers after nine.
This is my early 20s. I could hear that he was just right behind when I finally made it to my apartment.
I threw my knife down and locked the door and I yelled for my roommate.
And sure enough, about two seconds after I locked the door and yelled for her, He was, this nasty, sweaty dick bag was knocking on my door, demanding that I open it. like you think she's gonna open the fucking door for real he heard my dog barking and losing his shit at some point so he just ran away We called the cops immediately and I gave them my description.
My friend was on the force at the time and stayed with us when he heard it was my address.
He brought back my sandals to me. Aw, and three other cops set out to find this nasty dick bag.
Sure enough, they found him in an alley just chilling a few blocks away from my apartment.
What the fuck? He had a warrant out for his arrest on a domestic violence and a drug charge so they arrested him ASAP.
My friend and I finished our lease with no other issues.
It didn't really do much to traumatize me, But my dog still has really bad anxiety when anyone is at the door and he can't see me.
Oh, what a douche. He's like, oh, the best.
Oh. That night taught me to always be aware of your surroundings and always use the goddamn motherfucking buddy system.
Yes. honestly sorry this was so long and super random at times if you spoopy goddesses read this all the way through thank you so much Keep doing what you're doing.
You guys literally make my day with every episode.
And remember, keep it weird. But not so weird that you're a drunken degenerate dumpster fire of a girl that stays out way too long playing cards against humanity with her friends until 4am and then mocks them alone because you don't need no man and then she gets chased home by a sweaty criminal bag, criminal dick bag.
Don't keep it that weird. Bye. Oh my god, I love it.
That was amazing. That was incredible. Why are you guys so fucking hilarious?
That's what I need. you guys the way you guys write is just perfect and you're just you're smart You are.
And I appreciate that one. To get out of your sandals, that's smart.
That's smart. Dial 911. You got all the details of his face real quick.
You took out your phone. You pretended that you were talking to someone.
That's smart. It is. He really, I mean, and look, when the cops came you were able to give a description and they found him.
Boom. Roasted. You were on it. Boom roasted.
Man, I love you guys. Love you. So I think the last one we had. is called an intruder a gun and my half naked husband uh oh Hello, morbid mamas, babes of badassery, sisters of spook.
Wow. I'm obsessed already. Thank you. I love you.
My name is Courtney. Feel free to use my name.
Thank you, Courtney. Thanks Court. Before I begin, I want to be cliche, although always warranted and profess my love for y'all.
I've been listening to your podcast for about a year and I feel like I'm just chilling with my girlfriends when a new episode drops.
I love when people say that. The best compliment of all time.
Honestly, that is the best compliment because that's exactly how we feel.
Yes. I even turned my husband into a weirdo and he's a particularly picky podcast person.
Ah, I love an alliteration. Yay. I love that.
My babes, three and five. Yes. Even bust out Ash's mini morbid intro when they know I'm listening.
Oh, my God. You take me away from my daily mundane routine and the way y'all tell stories, advocate for victims and research your topics is so admired and much appreciated. you just you know what this has been a long week and you just that really just gave me some feels it did So here goes my tale of the spook spook in my life.
I'll try my best not to ramble, But let's be real, probs won't happen.
Anywho, my little fam and I live in a small Mayberry-esque town in eastern Pennsylvania. about an hour outside of Philly.
I say this because where we live, there's essentially no crime, and walking down the street is like walking into Cheers.
Everybody knows your damn name. So flashback to 2015.
My husband was working middle shift in a warehouse, coming home between 11 and 12. each night.
I know, I break your rules, but at the time I would sleep on the couch until he would come home each night.
Yeah, I'm a fucking mother hen, cluck cluck. honestly I do the same thing if Annie like goes somewhere at night I wait up for her on the couch yeah I wait up end up sleeping So in the middle of the night, I hear my back door knob being twisted.
Thought nothing of it. knowing Zach, you can use his name as well, was coming home, but for some reason the knob just kept being jiggled and he wasn't coming in.
Our doors are old AF and often stick so I was about to go let him in but before I did I quickly peered at my phone to check the time.
3 a.m. My stomach about fell out of my ass.
He had to have been home already, and I slept through it.
That wasn't fucking him at the back door.
I quickly opened my front court curtain to see if his truck was parked out front and damn it to shit.
There it was. I channeled my inner Usain Bolt and darted up the stairs to wake him up.
There he was asleep, snoring like a damn bear, getting into that precious REM cycle.
I flipped on the lights, hopped on the bed, ripped the blankets off and shook them like a wet dog.
Oh my god, yes. Someone is breaking in, I yelled.
Huh? He mumbled, still half asleep. There is someone at the back fucking door.
Dude sat up like Billy Butcherson in his grave and grabbed the gun from a hidden compartment in the bedroom.
My six foot, 250 pound hunk of a hub stormed down the stairs, boxers only, firearm at his side, ready to pop a bitch to protect his fam I'm obsessed stay here and don't move he told me we went to the back door peered out the curtain nothing no one He opened up the door and I hear him yell, you're messing with the wrong house, motherfucker.
That's my man. Nothing. No one. No one.
He came back in. We sat on the couch to cool down and decompress and finally he told me to go to bed and get some rest.
We decided to sleep on the couch to play it safe with the gun right next to him on the end table.
I mean, let's be real. I wasn't about to sleep knowing my luck.
Some murderer was trying to get into my house.
But as I kissed him goodnight and turned the corner to go upstairs to bed, No. in an octave I didn't know was physically possible, and Zach, boxers and all, undid the deadbolt.
I'll shoot, motherfucker, he yelled, and the doorknob shook again. have a peephole in the door so just then he flung the door open and there stood a wait for it Little old lady.
Why? Behind her, a middle-aged woman trembling as my beastly- half-naked husband stood there with a gun.
Zach took a deep breath and put the gun down and baffled, asks, What the hell is going on?
It's the middle of the night. The middle-aged woman asks, do you know her?
She says she lives here. She tried getting into another house too, and she didn't live there either.
Just trying to figure out where she lives.
Oh! And often does not know where she is.
Oh, my God. She from time to time mistaken other homes for her own.
Officer even said she walked into another home a month prior while the family was eating dinner and became irate when she was told she didn't live there.
She even tried to pick up that family's toddler child.
Oh, no. this particular night, we were the lucky winners of her sad mental deterioration.
Luckily, as scared shitless as we were, Hubs was the first responder in training, And he is aware of gun safety and was able to keep control even in the heat of the moment.
Good for him. Eventually, the police escorted the geriatric ghoul back to her house, where her husband, sound asleep, had no idea she left.
Since then, she has thankfully moved in with other family members who are more able to keep an eye on her and keep her safe.
Okay, I was going to say, I was like, is anybody looking out for this little ghoul?
This geriatric ghoul? Thank you all for taking the time to read my story.
Stay badass, keep being astounding storytellers, and as always, keep it weird. but not so weird that, take it away, Ash.
Oh man. Okay, hold on, let me look back at this.
She wrote, take it away, Ash. She literally did. okay but not so weird that you're living in your nice little quiet town where nothing ever happens and then one night you're sleeping on the couch and you're like oh my god my husband's gonna come home soon as i'm gonna sleep on the couch and wait for him and then the the door starts turning and oh my God, your husband's already home and what the hell, you have to jump on the bed and wake him up and he's snoring and you're like, wake the fuck up, there's somebody breaking into the house.
And then he's like, I'm going to shoot. I'm going to shoot.
Motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker.
And then you open the door and it's an old ass lady.
A geriatric GMA. don't keep it that weird don't keep it that weird Oh, XOXO, Courtney.
I needed those motherfuckers to catch up.
Motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker.
Guys. Thank you. Thank you for this. That was the perfect one to end on.
It truly was. This is everything we needed after this crazy week.
Oof. You guys always deliver. You never disappoint.
I like that you said after this crazy week like it's even over.
I know. It's almost over. But you know what?
We love you. We appreciate you. And you always deliver.
And we have had so much fun with you guys this week.
We really had. As exhausted as we are, it's all been in the name of fun.
Oh my god, do you know what I remembered?
What? Merch drops today. Oh! Fuck! I forgot.
Let me see if it's live. Wow. Guys, you know, it's been a week.
That's all I'm going to say. Ash is literally looking right now to see if our new merch dropped.
We're in control of our business, but we're not in control of anything right now.
We are very out of control. And, you know, again...
My youngest does not sleep. That's a thing.
Mm-mm. And... So we're working off, I mean, and Ash hasn't slept because of the shows and everything with all the research and all that good stuff.
Yeah, I straight up stayed up until four o'clock in the morning last night.
So together we are working off of like maybe a minute and a half of sleep.
Yeah, just about. Okay, so it looks like nothing has been added yet, but merch is supposed to be added later today.
Yes, that is happening. I know that fact.
So keep a lookout. It's at shop.morbidpodcast.com.
In the meantime. Follow us on Instagram at... Amorbid Podcast.
Nope, Morbid Podcast. God damn it. Wow.
Hit us up on Twitter at amorbidpodcast. And send us a Gmail. morbidpodcast.gmail.com wow we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it Weird.
And I can't do a Keep It Weird because I have to go take the ladies dog out.
I love you so much. Bye. If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
