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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
And let me tell you, it did. I've been listening to it while I walk, and I am absolutely loving it.
I I love Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen.
Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free.
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Download Thumbtack today. Hey, weirdos. I'm Elena.
I'm Ash. And this is Morbid. Thank you.
This is Marva. The Listener Tales episode.
I love Listener Tales. We love Listener Tales.
You guys are funny, you're spooky, you're awesome.
Just like you have a way of writing to my taste.
You write to my soul. I laughed out loud at some of these.
I laugh out loud at almost all of these.
Well, except when they're terrifying or sad.
Don't laugh at those. Don't laugh at those ones, asshole.
But the ones that are supposed to, the ones that start out with bruh, I always end up laughing at.
Or like when they're like, bitches. Bitches.
I used to hate that, but now I love it. I always loved it.
Yeah. Always. You did. and i always will sometimes i have moments where i'm just like a little too like clutch the pearls you are and then i remember that i'm trash like when you get scared on a hayride So because this is a Listener Tales episode, a quote-unquote mini, which doesn't exist really. not a thing we don't have a lot of business we hope you guys liked the live stream hope you liked being able to hear the audio of it i'm sorry that the microphones for the audio were a little wonky sorry that i kept booping the little thing with my bead yeah but we we were kind of out of control from that those weren't our microphones we're out of control we're out of control But yeah, that's not clearly how our microphone sounds.
So we apologize for that. But hopefully everybody dug it.
I think, oh, the one thing I did want to say was a couple of people told me that in the Irish Vanishing Triangle episodes, Yeah.
You pronounce the one that's the people whose name is spelled C-I-A-R-A instead of Kiara.
Is it Kira? It's Kira. And I should have known that.
I took like two different sources and somebody called them Kiara and somebody called them Kira.
And I just went with the one that flowed out of my mouth quicker and that was Kiara.
That makes sense. But thank you for telling me because that makes a lot more sense.
Kiara reminds me of Reba. I got the hard kuh right instead of Ciara, but I got like halfway there and then I got it wrong.
You know, when I was doing the Instagram post, my stomach dropped and I was like, Elena, I didn't say it to you, but I was like, what if her name is Ciara?
And I was like, she knows that it's not.
No, I knew it was a hard K, but yeah, you guys are right.
It's Kira, especially in Ireland. So thank you for telling me that.
I appreciate it. And so that was, you know, Kira Breen.
There you go. See, it gets stuck in my head.
But thank you. So I just want to tell you that.
But let's just jump into listener tales because we don't have any business to attend to.
Do you want to go first? I want to go first.
Go ahead, my friend. So this one's called Bro.
See, I love one that starts bro we love it and i mean literally my bro saw some tings as a child and i am shookest i also love the nikki minaj reference there I didn't even know that was a Nicki Minaj.
I'm taking it as one. I don't know if it is.
I love it. So it says, what the fuck is up?
I don't know, girl. My name is Jonna, pronounced like Jonna.
It's Italian as fuck, so yeah. And you can call me G.
G is one of my best friend's names. There you go.
I absolutely love your podcast. and I'm kind of thankful I found you guys recently because now I have so many incredible spook spook stories to listen to slash catch up on.
P.S. Sorry my story is a little long, but I promise you it's worth the read.
Trust me, guys, your stories are never too long because they're always awesome.
It's not. I hate short things, except for myself.
But I'm short. First off, I have to say that I've always been a firm believer in all things supernatural. and have always felt a connection to at least some kind of openness to the spiritual world.
My family is very connected, and even though my brother is slightly more skeptical, he had an experience as a child that simply cannot be explained, and honestly, Still gives me and my entire family chills.
Ooh, I'm ready. Are you ready? I'm ready, G.
My mom told us that when my brother and I were about four or five, he would get terrible nightmares to the point where he would wake up sobbing.
Oh, that's so sad. That is sad. My mom, of course, would go in his room to console him and put him back to bed.
The bad dreams continued for a while, so my mom tried to figure out what was going on and started asking him about what was happening during his dreams.
She said my brother wouldn't remember much about the dreams themselves, but that he would mention the man in his closet.
I personally related to this because do you remember the lady in my closet?
I do. She didn't have a body. She was just made of bones.
Yeah, you remember that, right? I do. And my kids actually saw people with scissors outside of their room.
That's fucked up. So that's funny. And they were cutting their sheets.
Yeah, it's always fun when your kids are like, yeah, you know, that really terrifying thing that you have to pretend is not terrifying, mom.
It makes me question whether or not I'm going to pop up some of those suckers.
For real, being a parent is, that's one of the hardest things about being a parent is keeping your face completely stoned When they say some shit like there's somebody with scissors standing in the hallway trying to cut my shoes.
You're so silly. You have to just be like, that's fine young child hope i don't get stabbed saving your ass nothing weird about that So back to the story.
Immediately my mom assumed it was a typical response as a child to be afraid of what would come out of the closet.
And she didn't think much of it. She brushed it off for a while and would simply open the closet, show him nothing is there, and put him back to bed.
The bad dreams continued. And so did the strange mention of the man in the closet.
No. My mom said that she was getting more and more curious, so she started to ask my brother questions about this mysterious man.
That's where she went wrong. No, I would do the same thing.
I always need to know more. I'd be like, he's not there so I don't know what to tell you.
I'd be like, tell me what he looks like.
She'd say, what does the man in the closet look like?
Is he a nice man? And my brother would respond, yes, he has a suit and a funny hat.
He comes out of the closet, leans on my wall, and smokes.
Then he just kind of watches me. Spook? Spook for real.
My mom said she was kind of intrigued but more caught off guard by my brother's descriptive response.
She assumed in typical childhood nightmare fashion that the man in the closet would have been a figment of his imagination or a monster or something he had seen on TV.
Some time went by, and as my brother got a little older, the nightmare stopped, and the mention of the mysterious man in the closet tapered off as well.
Until... A year or two later, my mother and my grandmother were looking through old photo albums.
Oh no, this can't go anywhere. Right. Of course.
Or excuse me, of which many photos included my great grandparents and many, many other ancestors who all resembled one another, because you know.
Italians have fucking huge families. And in the 40s, 50s, everyone dressed similar.
My grandmother had lost both of her parents, Hugo and Evelyn.
Oh my God, shut up. They were probably adorable.
I bet they were the cutest. at a young age, so my brother and I have never seen them nor met them.
Again I say, my brother and I have never seen nor met them.
No bullshit. My mom said that my brother and I were playing in the kitchen and had come up to the table where they had the photo albums laid out.
Out of the blue, Without hesitating to look at many other pictures on the page, my brother pointed to the picture of my great grandfather, Hugo, and said, hey, that's him, the guy from my closet.
Can you imagine as the mom? Holy shit. I guess he'd be a little relieved, though, obviously.
I'd be like, cool, yeah. My mother and grandmother said that they were shocked and covered head to toe in chills as my brother and I ran away from the table and continued playing, completely oblivious to the incredible statement he had It just sprung on everyone.
My mother said that my great grandfather often wore suits, a fedora, and often smoked cigars.
Okay, Hugo. They even had photos of him leaning on walls in front of the house smoking.
I feel like he's a bad bitch. He sounds awesome.
As we got older, my mom told my brother and I about the incident.
And of course, we had to hold on to our butts.
We were shooketh. I truly believe that my great-grandfather was there to watch over my brother when he couldn't sleep.
And I literally have mega chills everywhere.
As I type this, I have them everywhere as I read it.
I do too. Anyways, thanks so much for taking the time to share my story.
I fucking love all the things true crime and supernatural and love your podcast to the max. thanks and keep it weird and then she wrote in ash centric speed oh i'm gonna try it i'm gonna try it do it I'm going to try it.
But now it's so weird that you see a man in your closet and you're kind of freaked out, but you're not really and you don't know who he is.
But then it turns out that he was a great grandfather who you never knew and he was just there to protect you.
Much love, G. That was good. That was super asshunter speed of you.
Hell yeah. That was awesome, G. That was really awesome.
That was a feel good one. Our next one comes with a photo.
And if you're not crying already, then you're dumb.
If you're not crying, I'm crying. If you're not crying, I'm crying.
So this one is the subject line that says, that time my mom turned into an owl.
Oh, and that caught my attention. Yeah, that'll do it.
So they attached a picture of their mom.
And first of all, your mom is so beautiful.
So beautiful and adorable. And her phone case is an owl.
I don't know if you noticed that. I love that.
I'm sure you who sent it noticed it. hi ladies love your podcast keep up the awesome work I've been listening to your podcast for a while now and I have gotten several of my work friends to listen to you and they love it as well That's so nice of you.
Thanks. You're so sweet. I love when people gather other weirdos.
I do, too. Thank you for doing these listener tales, by the way.
They creep me out and also make me laugh till my sides hurt.
Anyways, let me tell you about how my mom turned into an owl.
Okay. Sounds good. I'm seated. Lay it out for me.
And then it says, note, this is super long.
I apologize. Don't. Never. My name is... My name is... I know.
Am I good? My name is Junesy. Baby note, it's pronounced Junesy.
That's adorable name. That is so cute. I love it.
And then she said, I know it's a super weird nickname, but my semi-hippie mom calls me this.
So it just kind of stuck or called me this. this last year was absolute garbage and was the definition of a bummer but it literally made me believe in life after death so i guess silver linings you gotta look for them You do.
The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties, I would like to address you all.
Legal proceedings have been initiated. Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption, and magic.
Binge all episodes of The Mystic and the Mare exclusively and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.
Start your free trial in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or the Wondery app.
This last year in November, my absolutely wonderful, amazing mother passed away very suddenly.
She died of heart failure. I'm sorry. It was so sudden I wasn't even able to say goodbye and I was literally 30 minutes too late.
That's horrible. That hurts my heart. And then she said, sorry if there's spelling errors.
I'm crying while I write this. Oh my goodness.
I just want to hug you. I do too. And also there's no spelling error.
So like, you're awesome. You're killing it.
She was an amazing little mama. She had the biggest heart.
She was a social worker, volunteer for domestic violence shelters and networks to help women in need.
Oh, my God. And very faithful. Oh, my God.
Honestly, like a goddess. I know. Oh, my God.
Wait, no, there's more. I messed up. A very faithful Catholic.
A folklorico dancer? That's probably not how you say that.
Folklorico? She loved adopting people, like all my friends called her mama.
Oh my god, I'm crying. And was in love with owls.
I want to know her. Me too. When you attach the picture in the beginning, she has one of those faces that you would just like... smile at so hard if you passed her on the street.
She does. She seems like one of those that you would call mama.
Yeah. She always wanted to have an owl and told me she would come back as an owl after she died.
Oh, I love that. I love this. It's like when Moana's grandmother said she'd come back as a manta ray.
Oh my god, yes. In my family, we're Mexican, but I don't know if other Mexicans believe in this, people will just come back as beloved animals. my whole life, my grandma, who adores golden eagles, said that one day she is going to visit me as an eagle and to watch the sky for her after she passes away So when I see an eagle, it's her telling me she's watching over me.
Okay. My entire body just went into like chill mode.
Like, wow. You know what? I would want to be an elephant, though.
So I'm halfway there. So none of us would see you.
You could see me. Come to the zoo, girl.
Oh, you're going to be an elephant in the zoo?
That's a poor afterlife. Yeah. No, I want to be a wild elephant.
I take it back. Come on a safari, girl. Please don't make me a caged animal.
Come on a safari. Anyways, this isn't about me.
Thankfully she's not dead, but I'm living in fear for the day she takes off with one of my chickens for a snack.
That's incredible. I have no idea what makes them love these certain animals so much, but my mom collected a hundred of Yeah, a hundred of little owl figures, earrings, bags, and shirts.
In fact, we laid her to rest in her favorite owl earrings.
This is really hurting me. It really is.
But it's beautiful. She watched every documentary of owls out there and got just tickled if you sent her pictures and videos of owls.
Oh my god. She also loved those live feeds of baby owls on YouTube.
Oh, same. Which I didn't know that was a thing.
And like, I'm about to go in. It's great.
Mind you, in some places in Mexico, owls are seen as omens of death and depicted with... with the Aztec god of death but my mom always saw them as good luck lol because she was metal as flip I love it.
That's like the case that we've covered of like the, where was it?
Was it in Pennsylvania? The Dutch, they were thinking that his great-grandfather was the one that put a curse on him because he heard an owl.
Yeah, I remember I brought it up. Seven times. and i was like it's bad luck but i don't know why i had a brain fart there sorry but i was like that thing i know what i was like i was like trying to like figure it out i'm trying to help you I'm trying to help you.
That was like bad Pictionary. I had a moment.
It's okay. We all do. So now a little info on where I live because this is semi-important.
I live in back country Nevada. There is absolutely nothing around me besides farms and maybe the occasional coyote. but the area around me is sometimes eerily quiet sometimes, so there is little to no noise pollution out here.
My mama passed away in the living room of our house where I currently live that she loved, but she wasn't surrounded by all the people she loved.
Oh, man. I know she would have wanted that, but God needed one more angel right away, so she wasn't able to say goodbye, and we didn't really get a chance to say goodbye. i'm really sorry that that happened to you that's really sad but it gets better okay Well, exactly a month after my mom died I just broke down.
I sat in my room and I begged her to come back while just crying.
I told her that I really needed her, that I'm scared, that I at 26 years old have no idea what I'm doing and I missed her so much.
Legit, I Kim Kardashian ugly cried for close to three hours until I passed out swollen and dry.
Oh my God, I love you. I just want to hug you.
I was just going to say, I want to give you like the biggest hug.
That night was the first night I dreamt in a month and I couldn't have been happier.
I dreamed that I came into our my mom in my house and she was sitting there on the couch looking just as alive and lovely as always saying hello to me. and my auntie Gina, who was there for some reason.
I saw her and just ran to hug her and I said, even if this wasn't her, even if this was just a dream, I was so happy to see her.
I told her all the things I didn't get to say to her before she left, that I loved her, that she was my hero, most of all that I missed her.
I missed dancing with her in the kitchen on Sunday morning.
Wow, that just hit me. This just like hit me hard.
I read this. Oh, you're like crying. Because I'm thinking of my mom.
I'm thinking of Ma, I know. Oh. I'm not thinking of my mom.
You got me right to, right in my heart. Ugh.
I'm thinking of Ma. Especially the dancing.
The dancing in the kitchen. Ma is always dancing in the kitchen.
Oh, okay. And when Ma dances, she says, Bebopalupa, baby.
And I just want you all to know that. so she does it's the oh man that just made me sad for real i we both have like tears in our eyes just so you know that I lost my place because tears.
It's all right. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll vamp through the tears. Yes. Vamp through the tears.
Through the tears. Why can't I see anything?
Because you're crying. I was so happy to see her.
I loved her. She was my hero. Most of all that I missed her.
I miss dancing with her in the kitchen on Sunday mornings. talking to her for hours, cuddling with her, and that I was so thankful for everything she did.
Sorry I'm crying again. Same. Everybody is.
The entire time she just gave me this knowing smile.
The one she would get when you could really tell that she just adored you.
Oh my god. And when I said she was gone outside of this dream, she said, I'm gone, huh?
In a way that just sounded like she was amused by that.
She's like, girl, please. She's like, oh, I'm gone?
I laid my head on her lap like I would when I was little and I woke up at 3am feeling like I could move on.
I felt peace for the first time in a month.
I cried and thanked her and I thanked God and that is when I heard it.
At first I thought it was a mountain dove, but then I was like, what the heck is a mountain dove doing outside my window cooing for it three in the freaking morning then i heard oh i kid you freaking not it was a freaking owl I just burst into tears and asked my mom if that was her to please, please do that one more time.
All of a sudden, the owl wouldn't stop. It was her.
I know deep in my heart it was her. she came back when i felt i couldn't go on just to tell me goodbye and give me one last hug i have I haven't heard that owl before or since that night, but it was enough to convince me that there is something after who knows what.
It is, but one thing I know is that I'm excited to dance with my owl mom again one day.
Oh my god, I love you so much. This is like...
And then she wrote, LOL, still crying, but I got through it.
Goodness dang it. Anyways, that's what happened.
I feel absolutely nuts for writing this experience, but fuck.
Flip it. I'm doing this anyways. You are not nuts.
You're not nuts. This is poetry. Anyways, I'll leave y'all with some of my mom's best wisdom.
Take one day at a time and keep your heart open to love.
Stop it. P.S. a picture of my little mama with her favorite owl phone case and owl earrings in case you were confused by this.
She was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Oh, okay. And you know what? She was. Tear my heart out of my chest.
Fuck. Holy. I have, it's very rare for tears to well up in my eyes.
Elena does not cry. I don't. There's actual tears.
It made me think of my mama. Yeah, no. Oh, my God.
And I just was like, oh. What do you think Ma would come back as?
A bunny. Oh, yeah. For sure. There's bunnies all over our damn house.
My mom loves bunnies. Bunny figurines. Oh, yeah.
She'll be just bunnies everywhere. It was fucking bunny.
She would definitely be a bunny. That was so beautiful.
I love that. Oh, I love you for that. I thought owls were bad luck and you know what?
You just made me feel different. I feel like now I'm going to feel comforted by owl sounds.
It's true. I always loved owl sounds. So when I read that case that it was like, oh, it's like an omen.
And people were telling me in some cultures it is an omen.
Even just some families believe it's an omen.
Well, that person said in their, I think they said in their culture it is a bad omen. yeah and at least in some families it is to me it always like i loved owls it always just made me feel like comforted when i heard an owl yeah so there you go perfect All right.
So this one is going to pick it back up again.
It is. So this one is named. A man tried to break into my house less than an hour ago and I was a pussy.
Incredible. You really, I mean, just from the jump.
Whoop, there it is. Hi. Hi. Hey. Let me start this off by saying that this story is fresh.
It's currently 530 in the morning and a majority of this happened around 445.
Wow. Also, I love your podcast and I love you guys.
I know that's how all these listener tales start and I don't want you guys to go unnoticed, but my brain is scrambled right now.
It's okay. Well, you'll get it in a minute.
So back to it. This literally just happened.
I was sleeping in my bed, two cats cuddled up next to me when suddenly I hear my mudroom door open and I think, It's weird for one of my friends to be here at 445, but they all have a key.
So maybe they're in crisis mode. They're always in crisis mode.
Same. But as soon as I didn't hear the key code being punched in, I came to terms with the terrifying reality that this was not, in fact, one of my best friends drunk crying because their boyfriend wouldn't let them hit the That's a very relatable experience.
I have a glass door with a wooden outline.
It's tinted so you can't see that well and you can't see out either.
All I saw was the outline of this man's body as he kept trying to turn my doorknob.
I said, uh, please go away. And it sounded weak.
And then I said it with some dominance in my voice.
And he said, bitch, what? Imagine if the robber was like, bitch, what?
And I said with true mean white lady in my voice, I'm calling the police.
And he mumbled, bitch, what? i stood there no pants on in a goddamn tie and i t-shirt from an eighth grade field trip silhouette to silhouette with this man holding the doorknob and calling the police my mind raced with thoughts like this is it isn't it i'm being very poorly night starved and my cat's gotta protect these bitch ass cats oh my god well this is just what I get for being a young woman on my own Thank you.
I was on the phone with the dispatcher gracefully having one of the biggest meltdowns of my life.
And as this man came in and out of the mudroom, I was like...
Wait, came in and out of the mudroom? Oh, he was coming in the actual mudroom?
Yeah. I didn't even realize that. I was like, the police are on their way.
Go away. And she was like, ma'am, calm down.
You don't want to irritate him. He could get aggressive.
And I said back to her, I listen to true crime.
I'm in forensic psychology. I'm not going down without a fight.
And she was like, ma'am, this is a Wendy's drive-thru.
Also, the police have just... I was like, wait, how did you call Wendy's drive through?
I love it. The police got to my house and proceeded to ask me the most dumbass police questions, but also like, police guy, thank you for saving me. who's this man to you?
And do you have a description? And I was like, no, I didn't look at him and I don't know him because I wasn't about that life.
Precursor to the next part. I live right outside of Cincinnati in a place called Covington. its own little city in its own little regard, and it's only a five-minute drive over the bridge to get into downtown Cincinnati.
They weren't finding the guy, but I was like, yeah, I'm leaving.
I asked them if they could just stay with me until I got my car.
So I could go to a friend's house who lived a couple of blocks away.
I was not about to walk those blocks after that, my guy.
I love when people say my guy. As I got to my car, one of the officers knocked on my window and I was like, damn, am I being arrested now or something?
And then he was like, yeah, we just want you to know that we did find a guy in your alleyway.
He was drunk as hell stumbling around. telling us not to arrest him because he thought he was in Cincinnati and this was his house.
But we did arrest him because obviously this is not Cincinnati and this is not his I mean, I was relieved, obviously.
I was not about that life. the officer was like, so you don't have to leave if you don't want to.
And I was like, uh, yeah, I think the fuck I do.
Anyway, this is my insane story about how a drunk guy mistook my house for a house he'd have to cross an entire bridge to get to and made me think that I was going to be bundied.
Thank you for reading this. I love your podcast so much.
Thanks. See. Oh, my God. I was going to get bundied.
I love that you made that a verb. Oh, my God.
I love it. Wow. I also love that that literally just happened like 15 minutes before she wrote this.
I gotta sit down and tell everybody about this.
Oh, you killed it. Thank you for this. That was a good little like... break the sadness this is another good little break the sadness oh man this one's gonna gross you out and that's why I picked it I'm upset It's called Listener Tale here.
Hello, morbidoopies. Morbidoopies. I'm obsessed with that.
I'm into it. Fellow weirdo here and longtime listener, y'all's genuine banter and contagious laughter gets me through my long work days, and I just want to thank you for providing the smiles, weight,
I mean, storytelling. Anyway, so I wanted to share a fun, lighthearted little spoop spoop from my childhood.
We love childhood spoop spoop. Spoop spoop.
Remember when I thought that was a typo?
You totally did. I love it. It's okay. Just two quick bits about one booger-eating old lady who I called Grandma Stell.
Now, Stell was Stella, who was Estella, but was actually named Mary.
The South, am I right? Stell was Stella, who was a Stella, but actually named Mary, in case you missed that.
None of that. That's chaos. That's incredible.
That is chaotic and I love it. They wrote, Stell was Attitude.
She better have been Attitude. She didn't give a damn nor take one.
She raised each family generation in her kitchen and could always be found dancing around it.
Oh, my God. Kitchen dancing is a theme this week.
While making her favorite snack, rice crispy treats.
Oh, we love it. Oh, so yum. Put a pin in here.
This comes full circle. When she became less active, she could be seen flicking her boogers across the room at you or getting her Getting her little grubby fingies up there and finding her second favorite snack.
Oh my god, I'm so upset. Also, y'all, boogers are my trigger warning.
Same. Give me gore all day, but if I see a... No, I can't.
That's what they wrote. I didn't write that.
Okay, moving on. I'm with you on that. That's my trigger warning.
Yeah, as this thing has gone on long enough. still isn't with us anymore and hasn't been for a while.
And that's okay because I was young and yo, like that's life.
It is, but the world is a sadder place without her.
I know. So fast forward to 13 years old.
Life is good. I have my own room. Spice Girls are dominating the airwaves and I have finally kissed my crush.
Hell yeah. I just felt that in my bones.
I felt that summer. Except that was way too young for me to kiss my first crush because late bloomer.
Aw, you're cute. I was just a little ho at summer camp.
So I was like, my best friend was actually basically our weekend orphan. and was with me all the time as this was uh and this time was no different another weekend of staying up too late watching whatever horror flick we could sneak past our parents My friend was also notorious for never sleeping at my house.
She could stay up for hours of the night well into the morning.
Upon awakening from my full 12-hour childlike slumber, I see my friend.
I know. I see my friend, bright eyed and bushy tailed, but with a slight look of fear.
She asks me, who was baking in the kitchen last night?
I wanted to ask her if she was new here.
My house was ran like a tight ship and she...
And she knew no one in their right mind would even try to make noise that late at night because parents are dicks.
Yikes. I finally responded with horror in my voice.
Uh, no one. Why? She explained she heard someone in the kitchen last night making something that smelled like Rice Krispie treats.
We asked my mom about it in the morning and she just very casually mentioned that those were Grandma Stella's favorites and then trailed off in a cloud of cig smoke without further explanation.
Okay, mom. She's another story. I want to hear more about her.
Did you achieve a goal? My watch just told me to breathe.
It's like, chill out, girl. I like when it tells me to stand when we're in the middle of this.
I'm like, kind of can't. Can't do it. Y'all, I would have brushed this off except for maybe a month later to this happening.
I was in my room getting ready for bed and had strange shit start happening I was chilling and listening to music when I got the feeling Oh yeah.
You know when you know. You know. That's where I'm at.
I look behind me. look around by the little shelf next to the door and i shit you not everything came flying off that shelf Now at this point in my life, I fancied myself quite the special bitch of a witch like many others. that age and I knew it was Stella.
I said aloud that I knew she was there and not to scare me.
I wasn't scared but I knew she was a prankster so I was ready for everything.
Even a ghostly booger war. After I put everything back on the shelf, I decided it was probably bedtime.
I tried turning down the music and that's when the prank started.
This booger-havin' ass broad kept blasting my music every time I tried turning it down.
A good four or so attempts of her ass...
A good four or so attempts of asking her.
Yeah, thank you. I'm fine. Of asking her to stop before she took the hint and quit and realized that 9 p.m. wasn't dancing hour in this house, unfortunately.
So anyway, that's my story about Grandma Still.
Hope she's raining boogies on God's trifling ass.
Keep it weird, y'all, and thanks for doing what you do.
Hope you enjoyed my story, and thank you for sharing.
I can't. Thank you for sharing if Stella made the cut.
Oh, if you know, whatever. Can't wait for the next episode.
Thanks again, Aline. Oh, Aline. Rain and boogers on God's trifling ass.
I cannot thank you enough for that. I'm not okay.
Cannot thank you enough for that. Incredible.
Be safe. All right. That was great. Those two just cleansed my soul.
I needed that so bad. Well, this next one is called Top Hat Douchebag.
Oh, shit. I'm into it. I feel like that's not gonna cleanse my soul.
I feel like it's gonna be awesome. Dear Ash and Alina, what up, bad bitches?
What up? What up? Here's my listener tale of the top hat douchebag that loves to roam my house.
What? My parents divorced when I was in fourth or fifth grade and ended up back together before my eighth grade year.
In that fall, we moved into our current house.
It's a nice two-story, four-bedroom, three-bath house with plenty of room for my parents, brother, me, and our small zoo.
When we first moved in, something felt off, but, you know, whatever, I was 14.
Months passed and it was our first summer in our house.
It was 3 a.m., and of course I'm awake and craving a popsicle, obviously.
Duh. I went downstairs, and as I passed the downstairs bedroom slash bath, I heard my name.
Clear as day. I was like, okay, cool. And kept doing my thing.
I would be like, I'm leaving now. She's like, all right.
I got my popsicle and was halfway up the stairs when I felt a huge presence behind me.
I ran upstairs and hid under my blankets when suddenly my TV went full on static mode.
Throw it out the window. Yeah, this isn't okay.
That's when you get rid of it. I stayed up until 4am when it shut off and I did not sleep.
Things only got worse. I would be downstairs alone and hear my name from the next room.
If I ignored it, the voice would get louder and angrier.
No. No, no, no. I don't like that at all.
No, I really don't like that. So let's see.
Where am I? I just lost my appearance. Eventually this douche made his first appearance.
I was laying down watching TV when I saw a head peek around the wall in my room.
How do you peek around a wall? This head was at least six feet off the floor and there was a top hat.
No. But no body. No. Ugh. Eventually I saw the man standing in my window looking out.
He never turned around just staring out the window.
I'm like, what are you contemplating? I turned and noped the fuck out.
No. No. I don't like that. And this doesn't even sound like sleep paralysis because she's not sleeping.
And you know what it reminds me of? And it follows when that tall guy walks through the doorway.
Oh, my God. Fuck me up. When we watched that and that happened, I had such a visceral reaction to that.
You don't like big things. Big things. Which is hilarious because John is like 6'3".
I married a very tall thing. John is a tall thing.
And I love that tall thing. And I think the same guy that walks through the door, remember when he's standing on the roof?
Yeah. That's such a good movie, though.
Guys, if you haven't seen It Follows, that'll fuck you right up.
Cinematic gold. This just made me think of it, though.
He walked through the doorway. Seeing a ghost just walk through the doorway.
It's been seven years and I still see this man around my house and hear him, but I'm less scared since he isn't physical, just annoying and douchey.
I'm 22 now and I still warn him that I'm not afraid.
Don't do that. That's my listener tale of the annoying top hat douche that lives in my house.
Keep it weird. P.S. I've been here for months and y'all are my number one podcast and have helped my terrible car anxiety.
From another story I will totally submit.
Thank you for being the absolute best bitches I've listened to.
Keep it weird. Much love. Kinsey is such a cute name.
Much love right back at you, Kinsey, because I'm really scared for you.
Yeah. Kinsey, don't tell him that you're not afraid of him because then he's going to be like, oh, yeah, bitch, I'm going to give you a reason to be.
He's going to be like, let me try some more.
Just be like, listen, you're scaring me.
And I live here now. Maybe you did before.
But this is my house now. coexist without running into each other yeah like either say we'll coexist but please stop scaring me because you're stressing me out or be like this is my house now and you need to leave Don't do the latter.
No, do that. You're supposed to take charge with a ghost.
Are you? It's not their house anymore. I don't take charge with anybody, you know that.
You really don't, but I do. Oh, I know. The ghosts in my house though, I'm like, you're fine.
You can hang. As long as you don't cross a line, you're good.
As long as you're not cutting up my children's sheets.
When that happened, I went out in the hallway and I was like, listen. you're scaring them and if you keep doing it i'm gonna send you packing that's the mama bear in you and it never happened again they've never had that nightmare again That's weird.
I was home alone last night. We're just going to drift off into a tale.
I was home alone last night for like the first time ever.
Annie never sleeps away from home, but she was like sleeping at her parents.
And fucking now that I have an animal because before I could just ignore the noises and think that it was just me.
But now when you have an animal not when you have an animal franklin's like laying on my chest like being all cute and shit and i hear this noise and i'm like that's just oh nope not franklin's like no i hear it He not only like like lurked his head over there, he got up and ran outside like out into the other room.
And I was like, well, fuck me. Yep. Yeah.
You can't ignore it with animals. But it was fine.
And also, my apartment building was built in 2016, so I think it's fine.
It's like that meme that's like, why don't ghosts show up and be like, it's Britney, bitch.
Why is it always like a Victorian ghost?
It might be the spirit of Britney, but that's another story.
Last listener tale is called The Crouching Man.
I hate it already. Crouching Taiga. That's like a yoga pose, isn't it?
Probably. I've never done it. Oh. Hey guys, I'm an avid listener to your podcast.
For my job, I survey alone in the defense forest.
Dense. to the defense for once you said it the second time I was like nope I think my brain just fills in why.
It does. It certainly does. In the defense force. the dense forest no i know i just want to say that again it was funny in the dense forest of pacific northwest and i used to listen to your podcast every day at work That's until you did some episodes about creepy Pacific Northwest shit, and I got too spooked, so now I have had to restrict myself to after work listening.
Oh no. Keep doing what you're doing. Sorry.
So it's okay. Crouching man. But anywho, I have a story for your listener tales.
So when I was in college, I lived in this three-story house that was built in 1902. making the house 116 years old at the time.
Mine's older. Humble brag? Just straight up brag.
No humble. There were only four bedrooms, but we had six girls living there because life is expensive.
Sure it is. uh it had visibly underwent multiple additions to create this mod podged house we had only one bathroom oh my god for six girls how did you survive that And it was on the top floor off the master bedroom.
Then off that bathroom was a porch that you could only access from said third floor bathroom.
There was a porch off of the bathroom? What the fuck?
If there were any budding architects out there, I would highly recommend that floor plan never be recreated.
Of the roomless girls, one lived in the sunroom.
That would be my room. I would pick the sunroom.
I would not. And one lived in the unfinished basement.
That's what you would fucking probably. The basement was mostly cement with an exposed pipe ceiling.
No, thanks. There was even a small room in the corner of the basement solely designed for game meat processing because Midwest.
Which is like creepy. We hung a Tupac and Biggie poster on a wall in that room and tried to call it good.
Sounds good to me. One night I come home around 2 a.m. from the library.
I have been cramming for an exam and was in that caffeine induced exam anxiety state. that formal education so graciously provides.
I know it well. That's why I dropped out of college.
No, thank you. Yikes. Which was like totally never ever creepy or weird to explain to guests.
No. My voice just gave out there. It did.
It was just like, I'm done. It was like, don't talk.
Sometime in the night I go to roll over and what do I see but a man sitting in the fetal position next to me.
Ugh. What? In case nobody else has experienced this, I would describe it as quite alarming. yeah that's a great way to describe it he had his knees pulled up to his chest and was sitting on the pillow next to me he's on your fucking pillow no that's rude He was thin and had on long pants, a long shirt with a hat.
I'm not talking like Nike sweatpants and a beanie, though.
No? That's not what I was picturing. I'm talking like some classy ass wool trousers and some sort of newsboy-esque hat.
That's what I pictured. What does that sound like?
That sounds like a newsboy hat. Remember when I, that's like exactly the ghost that I saw in your room.
I was like, I don't know what that sounds like.
Girl. Yes, you're right. That does. But he was a little boy.
I quickly roll for a split second till my instincts set in and I sat up aggressively in an attempt to somehow defend myself against this man.
But once I did, he was gone and I was just left sitting there staring at my wall.
Huh. Okay. I told myself it was the sleep deprivation and I must have just hallucinated.
It could happen. Although I thought I never hallucinated before.
I figure human minds are full of wonder.
So that's what I chalked it up to. The wonder of human mind. i would track it although i thought i had never hallucinated before i love that you're not sure of that like but perhaps i can't i don't think i did I didn't tell anybody because it didn't seem worth sharing.
Oh, I don't know. That seems pretty worth sharing.
That's a shareable moment. But I definitely wrote about it in my journal.
Fast forward around two weeks from that night.
I was hanging in the kitchen with my roommate who lived in the basement.
She actually picked up the nickname Basement Dweller.
That's awesome. Which is a weird nickname looking back.
I feel like that's what Papa would call somebody that lived in the basement.
Oh, yeah. She was just in an annoying mood being all snappy with the world.
I asked her what was up with her mood. She said she hadn't slept well last night and kind of apologized.
I asked her why she hadn't slept well. Her tone changed a little bit and she explained she was kind of spooked in the basement.
She said she felt like somebody was watching her sleep.
My interest became a little more personal when she said that.
I pried a little more. And she ends up admitting she thought she saw a man.
She thought she saw a man. I don't know what happens to me.
I love when you go into those like fancy inflections all of a sudden.
I think there's just like multiple like...
I think I have multiple personalities. I think this is like an orphaned Victorian boy.
Just caught inside of your soul somewhere and every once in a while it just comes out.
But it's also like an old southern woman.
Yeah, there's many spirits inside. A man.
Where's the man? I lost my place. I make her show me where the supposed man was in her room.
Yes, was in her room. She clarified that she doesn't actually think he was real.
She figured she had just somehow gotten really spooked out and imagined a man crouching in her closet area.
That would be a very vivid imagination. I was going to say people are really given like benefit of the doubt.
Yeah, I'd be like, well, we're moving and also burning the house down.
Because if I saw a crouching man, I would never do anything but be like, that was a crouching man and something needs to be done.
Yeah. once she sat up in her bed with her phone light he was suddenly nowhere to be seen we go down into the basement and sit on her bed from there she points to where she saw the figure crouching She has all her shirts hung on hangers from pipes in the ceiling, and then her shoes flat on the floor below.
The space between the shirts and the shoes was... nowhere for a grown man in the in-between space without it being very obvious.
She said he was in the fetal position as well, but propped up on his feet If anybody knows the lightning position, that's the idea.
Oh, yeah. That's really creepy. I hate it.
I hate that so much. I end up telling her my story because how could you not see the obvious coincidence of it all?
Connection. No coincidence. No, I was just saying there's a connection.
Oh, I thought you said I read that wrong.
No, it's coincidence. I was like, look, a connection.
I'm like, I read that right. When you stopped, I was like, what?
What did I say? What I said. I think there was a connection.
The basement dweller was decidedly way more spooked than I was.
I honestly thought she was kind of overreacting.
We both shared sentiments that we both knew this was not a real live man, if it was even anything at all.
We ended up telling our roommates that night, who ended up being pretty curious, and we collectively started referring to the man as the crouching man.
Obviously. Duh. We all slept a little less soundly for a few weeks, but it became one of those things you just kind of push to the side because thinking too much about it can lead your mind stray a little too far.
We end up subleasing the house to some freshman girls for the summer.
Girls who we didn't know other than a quick interview and tour when they decided they wanted to live in our weird Modge Podge house for a few months.
As the freshman girls were moving out in the fall, my roommate was moving back and had a funny conversation topic got brought up.
Apparently, the freshman who was subletting my room had her older sister visiting from out of town.
Her and her sister were sharing the bed one night.
They had the door to the attic and the door to the hallway closed.
Her sister woke up screaming bloody murder for someone to turn the light on.
My subletter jumped up to get out of bed and flip the light.
Her sister was being hysterical, but eventually the explanation came out that she woke up to a man crouching in the corner of her room staring at her.
Once... Oh, fuck that. Once the light was on, the man in the corner disappeared.
These girls had never known our previous stories, which makes the fact that three different women all experienced a very similar occurrence without knowing of each other's stories.
Kind of terrifying. Kinda. Kinda, yeah. Even though I was the one who originally saw The Crouching Man, I still thought it to be some like weird dreaming stuff between the basement dweller and I.
But after I heard that a random girl who I don't know saw a similar thing in my room, I am now more open to possibilities.
The most obvious answer would be that there was some literal creep that would break into our house and watch women sleep.
I don't know if that's so obvious, though.
Yeah, I wouldn't go with that first. Right.
But through my experience and the others, it was so inherently not an alive human with super hide and seek skills exactly because he disappears when the light comes on right i would like to say that i have a uh i would like to say i have a silver sliver oh my god I'm done I have a sliver of spirituality but honestly even that is a stretch most people who have had this story take it as a ghost story which it might be but I'm also familiar with the power of the human mind and experience, so it also might not be.
I do know that once... I'm trying to like slow down so that I don't mess things up.
Are you okay? I do know that once two male roommates moved in there, there was no more crouching man sightings.
So, yeah. Overall, that house was bubbling with happy memories and lots of great concerts.
The Crouching Man ended up being referred to as other... as another roommate of sorts in conversation.
I think we did that to make light of the situation and ease our worries.
I did move to the room What? Oh, I did move.
I'm fine. I did move to the room across the hall, though.
Hope you guys are doing well with the new baby arriving to your family.
Oh. Oh, that was sweet. That must have been a long time ago.
That was a long time ago. Alyssa. Wow. That was a story.
And I think it was a ghost. It was a ghost.
There's no way. No, there's no other explanation.
No, and he was in a crouching position. You're like, what the hell did he die from?
Like, that sounds like he was scared or, like, something was going on.
It's like, what's his story? bro what's your story i would want to ask him i'd be like what's just why are you crouched like that yeah that's that's what you would think about like two in the morning when you wake up and he's like tell me what What's your story?
I feel like he had black eyes. I just see him as a very gaunt... dude like very like dark circles under his eyes yeah i picture him like super thin yeah i don't love it So that is our listener tales episode, which is good because Ash is officially like malfunctioning.
You know what it is? I read like super, super fast and it's like you can't understand me.
So then I slow myself down and then me slowing myself down messes me up.
Yeah. So you just got to find a happy medium.
Can I just talk fast? You guys slow it down on your phone.
There you go. People are always like, Ash, you talk so fast.
You do. I know. I know. It's a disorder.
I have a lot to say and little time to say.
I also drink a lot of coffee. It's very true. we hope you guys dug your listener tales we loved them they were so good they made me laugh they made me cry Yeah, they definitely made us cry.
Yeah, they were everything. So we appreciate it.
We do appreciate it. And you'll be getting another episode this weekend on Saturday.
So look forward to that. That's going to be so exciting.
Hope you listened to our Crime Countdown episode this week and another one on Monday.
And... Yeah, I think that's all we have to say.
So yeah, we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weak.
Weird. But not so weird that your brother sees this top hat guy in his closet, and then it turns out you know that top hat guy, and it's huge. you go and that's so weird that your mom turns into an owl but you should keep it that weird because that was the most beautiful story i ever read before not so weird that stella throws a booger at you because who wants a booger thrown at them Not so weird that some guy breaks into your house and is like, bitch, this is my house.
And then they find him in an alley because you don't want to find that guy in an alley.
You just don't want to find that guy at all.
No, thanks. That's so weird that there's a top hat guy creeping around your house and you're not scared of him and you tell him that you're not scared of him.
I mean, Kinsey, come on, don't tell him that you're not scared of him because then he's going to do some shit.
Not so weird. that some guy is crouching in your corner and you're not sure if you hallucinated ever, but don't do that.
He was a ghost. He was. You're not hallucinating.
It's not weird. I love you so much, y'all.
Bye. Bye. If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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