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Hi, it's Eve here, and welcome to Radio Headspace and to Tuesday.
It's so nice to be back with you.
So at Headspace, we're still fully remote.
But I'm really missing in -person interactions, particularly when it comes to teaching meditation.
So much of our communication happens non -verbally, and that is certainly the case when it comes to leading a practice and holding space for folks to meditate.
Anyway, I was leading a session virtually the other day.
It was a group meditation, and then there was a chance for folks to ask questions.
And one of the questions after the session was, as you've meditated for several years now, is your mind totally clear?
And this question made me think back to my first ever meditation session.
I understood that my mind would not be totally empty on a practical level, but experientially, it took a while to understand this.
What struck me, though, was how busy my mind actually was.
In many ways, it felt busier than before I'd meditated, and that in itself created some tension.
Was this not supposed to be easing the mind?
It's definitely what I had hoped and expected would happen.
Expectations are a natural part of human behavior, and we all have expectations that can cause tension in the mind or anxiety with anything that feels uncertain or unknown, or we feel vulnerable in any way.
And it's very common to have certain expectations when we begin a meditation practice in the same way we might when learning any other type of skill or doing something for the first time.
For example, if we're, say, learning to play an instrument, we might hope for the ability to play a certain tune, or perhaps we're taking an art class.
We might hope to create a particular picture.
This kind of expectation is very natural and normal.
The problem arises when we have a lot of expectations in the mind that are attached to specific outcomes.
And when it comes to meditation, the expectation might be that the mind will settle straight away and you'll feel instantly calm.
The truth is, it may settle straight away, but it may not, and that is okay.
Meditation is a practice.
Some days the mind will feel really busy and overwhelmed, and other days less so.
The mind is always changing just as everything else is in life.
And when it comes to expectations, they can become very fixed and solid in the mind.
For example, if we've been told that meditating will help you feel calmer and clearer and that doesn't happen straight away, it might feel like you've been missold information.
I remember when I was younger, still at school, my mum had booked a holiday to Spain in the summer holidays.
My parents owned a hotel and they worked really long hours, so holidays, when we got them, were pretty sacred.
Anyway, we arrived at this house only to find that it was right beside a building site.
They were drilling and hammering and there was dust everywhere.
All our expectations were totally shattered.
We did end up having a lovely time but had to rethink our plans quite significantly.
So how do we work with expectations?
Knowing that they're going to be a part of life, knowing that we'll judge or expect something to be a certain way, often without realising it.
And then equally, how do we work with any disappointment or frustration when it arises?
A good starting point is in learning to let go of fixed ideas about something or someone, tuning into how much we might be projecting our expectations out into the world, knowing that we're all uniquely different.
I'm not saying this is always easy especially if we do have very fixed ideas about something, but allowing some space to loosen the grip on the outcome can actually be a very freeing experience and you may even find that you laugh at certain situations when they don't go your way.
Or better, you learn something about someone you didn't expect.
So I'll leave it there for today and I love getting questions from you so if you do have any, please send them in to radio at headspace .com and I'll try to make sure they answered in a future episode.
Thanks for listening today and I'll see you back here tomorrow.
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